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IMPact Wrestling
Presents
ImpMania II
AKA Imp On Ice AKA The Grand ImpTacular
AKA Shouldn’t This Technically Be ImpMania 1?
Presents
ImpMania II
AKA Imp On Ice AKA The Grand ImpTacular
AKA Shouldn’t This Technically Be ImpMania 1?
The latest royalty free saxophone instrumentals fill the arena at their funky free fee as all these older talents simply must come out to their expensive licensed themes.
The card is ran down by our fabulously dressed ring announcer to the realisation of the jarring amount of variety on this show. I mean Jesus Christ is this going to be a rollercoaster. Call this the RoyalImp Variety Show, because damn wowie these flows are going to have some tasty, delicious ebs.
You know what they say about trying to please everyone… they all get pleased!
EXPLODING BARBED WIRE CAGE DEATH MATCH
Atsushi Onita vs Hayabusa
Atsushi Onita vs Hayabusa
WILD THING! YOU MAKE MY HEART SING.
Opening the show with a bang. LOTS OF BANGS.
Two legends of extreme violence exploding onto our new 4:3 realm of wrestling violence. The king returning after an absence against the prince who assumed his crown, a prince who also happened to be the coolest high-flying badass on the planet.
A 15 minute time limit to quicken the pace, your lads given half the time they normally would to feel out the occasion and get t’ whippin’. Make sure you’re done before Big Bang Time!
5 minutes of teasing to the ‘ooo’s and ‘aaah’s of the crowd, Hayabusa avoiding BANG-tastrophe with his athleticism as Onita’s wise experience tries to grant him early control. Eventually just grabbing the lad round the ruff of neck and dragging them both into the cage wall.
A BANG of sparkles, a crash of light, an ARGH SURPRISE BURST OF RINGSIDE EXPLOSIVES FIRE! Onita and his new red-coloured sleeve coat join Hayabusa on the mat.
However Mr FMW’s a mad man determined, stumbling to his feet and immediately attempting to whip Hayabusa into another cage wall. Which he does! BANG! FIRE! Aaargh! Hayabusa’s cool waist scarf trapped in the wire as he tries to wriggle free from the pain.
Confident and in control, Onita goes for one more. Only for Hayabusa to halt his own momentum with a cool slide and counter a charging Onita into the cage! Aaargh! BANG! FIRE! Both men broken and bloodied.
The 3 minute siren whirs! Desperate attempts securing no victory as Hayabusa realises there’s one cage wall left, but bloody Onita keeps countering him to try and snatch that pin.
The final 10 seconds hits, Hayabusa goes for one last second athletic charge… and is countered! Sent flying into the cage wall as the announcer cries, “Two! One!” BANG! FIRE! Quickly joined by BOOM! EXPLOSION! A puff of smoke filling the arena as the ring disappears in a gulf of cloud and smoke.
Spreading so much the audience is asked to temporarily step outside for the 30 minutes so the arena can be aired out.
Aaah that’s why these matches don’t go on firs-
Big Daddy vs Vampire Viscera w/Gangrel
You want to know where the beef is? Here’s the BEEF, pal! This come-down bout, as the crowd filters back out, features two beefy boys bumping that meat!
Ministry Viscera paired alongside Gangrel with the two in full vampire gimmick! The two doing Gangrel’s awesome entrance (with the greatest music in wrestling history pulsing) is easily the only good part of this lumbering match.
British hero Big Daddy playing the role of a much fatter, and much less able, Van Helsing. Unfortunately unable to slay the demon, or seem competent of doing so in any manner. Toppling right out into a 5 minute count out draw, sizzling to nowhere as they walk and lightly club each other to the back.
After that insane opener we’re bringing that crowd right down! Give me time, they’ll soon learn to stop popping for that awesome Gangrel music.
Tables Match
Public Enemy vs The Pitbulls
Public Enemy vs The Pitbulls
What do you want?
“TABLES!”
When do you want them?
“NOW!”
Everyone goes through tables! The Opra of team based wood carnage, “You go through a table! And you go through a table! And yoouu go through a taable!” Both teams arguing about who is the more extreme, when in reality they both are. All four men simultaneously crashing through tables in our second draw of the night.
In a… I guess show of respect, after the match they all stand together waving their hands to Here Comes The Hotstepper. I’m the lyrical gangster, naa nana na naa.
UWF Rules
Akira Maeda & Minoru “Sexy” Suzuki vs Gary Albright & Don Frye
Akira Maeda & Minoru “Sexy” Suzuki vs Gary Albright & Don Frye
From a table smashing extravaganza to ordered chaos, it’s time for a FIGHT.
Speaking of steak, two supporting members of the UWF invasion come up against two houses in Albright & Frye! Stiff kicks and strikes galore, with Albright tossing folk about just in the name of fun. Maeda turning serious to try and take down Frye as young rookie Suzuki tries to impress.
In the end the two black trunk clad battlers are able to separate their opponents and open up Albright. Maeda choking the big man and elbowing the head over and over as Suzuki looks handsomely out on guard.
He’s out! But Don Frye ain’t taking no loss like that, up onto the apron in a burst and SMACK Suzuki falls out cold – laying on the mat looking more handsome than ever. Maeda stands the man down tall, both lads got their heat and now it’s time to brawl!
Security charging down to separate the two as they continue to swing at each other, dammit we’re not giving this heated battle away for free!
Marc Mero w/Pamela Anderson vs Ahmed Johnson w/Sable
Racial overtones fully intended! Shame on you WWE, you knew what you were doing. But Ahmed Johnson’s the babyface here so we’re not booing them doing it, hooray we’ve avoided th-
Ah piss, errr, her ex isn’t pissed because he’s black! It’s because…. ah shit quick, cut to ad break. What do you mean we’re on Pay Per View? Ah shit! I’m sorry I said the one thing you told me not to. Err, the package! Yes play the video package! PLAY THE DAMN VIDEO PA-
Mero can easily replace Sable and find someone ten times the woman she wishes she was! In a scenario which goes really, really well for him… he brings out PAMELA FREAKIN’ ANDERSON. Seemingly oblivious to his ploy but happy to accept the paycheck to advertise the new season Baywatch.
I have no idea if the times align, I was toddler then… but we’re rolling with it, baby!
Mero cheekily teasing and seemingly more focused on showing off to everyone, be it the better wrestler to Ahmed, the more entertaining showman to the crowd, that he has the hotter woman to Sable and just how ‘cool a dude’ he is to Pamela Anderson… who’s disinterested as fuck.
Our man Marc gleefully rolling into Comeuppance Town.
Anderson refusing to help him cheat, with Mero eventually getting frustrated to the point of jumping to ringside and shouting at her to help. Sable checking on her as suddenly both women have turned on him! A slap from Pamela! Slap from Sable! And grounding slap of force from Ahmed (cheeky bugger getting in on the fun).
Tiger Bomb, 1, 2, 3. Pamela and Sable raise his arms, dual kiss on the cheek before the three walk up the ramp in arms. Mero throwing and absolute fit in the ring in the face of it all falling apart, wailing at the unfairness of such unwarranted violence.
Barroom Brawl
Fabulous Freebirds vs Hardy Boyz
Fabulous Freebirds vs Hardy Boyz
Freeee as a biird.
The former mentor for young Jeffery and Matthew turned on his Boyz for that one, last Fabulous ride, maaan.
The Freebirds taking out Hardy friend Shannon Moore, the glorious haired youngster left bloodied bar-side as Hayes & Garvin take shots of whiskey before putting their shades on. Flicking their balding, thinning hair behind them as they laugh at how much this’ll piss off those Hardy Youths.
In their possibly unwise youth, our fresh and clean shaven Hardyz with a rad ‘Z’ step up to dare a challenge face to face, “Attack our friend behind his back? That’s because you couldn’t beat down one man never mind two in a fair fight.”
Hayes & Garvin taking that as literal as possible and a local bar has been hired out to house this brawl! Live across the street from [location]INSERT HERE[/location] as IMPact Wrestling’s glove clad referee initiates our immediate charging
This brawl lives up to it’s name, with The Hardyz bringing it but getting shown up for being out of their element. These Freebirds may smell a bit now, but for a decade they lived on bar brawls every week!
A smashed bottle dazes Hayes but grounds Matt Hardy, Garvin attempting to choke out Jeff with a snooker cue… but what’s that? It looks like the ceiling was receiving a fresh paint of coat and there’s a ladder in the background! Swanton onto the snooker table! OUCH! Plus it doesn’t break because, yeah, it’s an actual table.
Broken back Jeff falls away, the pinfall’s not enough and Matt gets launched all over the bar. Ending with the Hardyz fighting back, three duel bottle smashes and Stereo Twists of Fate on the hard wooden floor to leave the ol’ men laying.
Cruiser-IMP Championship
Dr Wagner Jr vs Kendo Kashin
Dr Wagner Jr vs Kendo Kashin
Is it a boat? Is it a plane? No, it’s a Light Heavyweight division title. The Cruiser-IMP boys set sail!
Back to the arena we go for this feud between former tag team partners, both successful Best of the Super Imps (BOSI) competitors, but the jealousy of championship success runs real and Kendo’s… “Kashin” in.
He ain’t winning though, this our vehicle to elevate Dr Wagner Jr, a convincing win over the man he’s grown up through the division with. His luchador ways winning out over Kashin’s strikes, splashing from on high for the win. A semi-contested bout, but it always looked like Dr Wagner Jr had his number.
A lengthy reign awaits! Continuing to prove himself before his ultimate elevation to great heights.
Big Lads Doing Big Lad Wrestling Championship
Mike Awesome vs Test vs Masato Tanaka
Mike Awesome vs Test vs Masato Tanaka
In a clerical error, suddenly Masato Tanaka finds himself available for a last minute surprise! “This match is now a three way dance!”
Ah shit, but he was hyping his booking elsewhere!
Big lads with their big muscles taking MENTAL bumps, well at least two of them do, Test playing it a tad smarter as Awsome and Tanaka destroy each other. The third man just adding that pace to an already chaotic pairing: Ibushi bumps high on necks, powerbombs off of aprons and big boy tope’s bring the carnage!
Our ECW rivals foaming, staring each other down like bitter rivals before Test ends both of them with unforgiving chair shots to the head. Obviously they kick out, this a lesson for Test in the land of extreme, not a sneaky success story.
Mike Awesome retaining with a mighty Razor’s Edge to Test, but it wasn’t before they absolutely tore up the place. Test baptised in these extreme fires and Tanaka bruised and splintered, Mike Awesome bloody earned this retention.
Warrior versus Warrior
Ultimate Warrior vs Kensuke Sasaki
Ultimate Warrior vs Kensuke Sasaki
Insert nonsencial ultimate babble on the power of the space universe gifting it’s aura to the one true warrior of time and humanity!
Once upon a time Road Warrior Hawk was unable to team alongside Animal in Japan, in stepped big strong boy Kensuke Sasaki to temporarily sub in as the Power Warrior! Now the moniker returns as he dons the helm once more to throw down with the rambling American.
Running both Warrior spirits in a pure dash of force and no selling. CHARGE! Sasaki launching a stiff Lariat, only for Warrior to immediately get back to his feet. Well two can play at that game! Lariat from Warrior only for Sasaki to rise back to his feet.
Two brick walls charging at each other to no avail, but eventually Sasaki has to play professional… by weakening Warrior with the guard rail! It doesn’t work, Warrior Hulks up (or whatever his equivalent is), feeding off the power of the little Warriors and lamps poor Sasaki flat to his back.
Gorilla Slam, Splash and win. Was there going to be any other out come? Arm raised immediately charging to the back as this short jolt of pure energy, if nothing more, comes to a close.
Grudge Match
Shinya Hashimoto vs Nobuhiko Takada
Shinya Hashimoto vs Nobuhiko Takada
We enter our slow burner for the night, two wrestlers at the top of their game. A match that legit sold out the Tokyo Dome as well as here in [location][/location] today.
The head of the UWF invasion eyes his prize, Takada with the honour of showcasing strong style and proving its rightful place in a headline match against one of the industry’s most respected men. Having already beaten him for IMPact Wrestling’s top prize.
Hashimoto smashed records as IMPact Heavyweight Champion, the longest reign in history ending as Takada himself was able to topple the crown. 50,000 watched on that fateful Tokyo night, Hashimoto making a surprise mistake and getting choked out by the UWF invader.
Hashimoto enters this match to prove, not just to his Takada or his fans, but to himself that he can beat the UWF king. Starting off slow but building and building as both men land in blows, secure holds and wear each other down.
Ending in a flurry of offence as it looks like the Tokyo Dome is to be repeated, Takada even catching him in the same way before Hashimoto powers out and grounds the man reversing into a clutch. Choking him out as he screams to the heavens, having to lock in so tight as to not give any escape.
And he does it! Takada out cold, Hashimoto looking up high with a smile. He can finally rebuild his way back to the top of the mountain, proving he could adapt to the Strong Style and walk out on top.
Main Event
STORY
STORY
“A man some have called a legend. An icon. Or is he just a delusional, egotistical, self-obsessed maniac? I, Roddy Piper, will out the myth! Antonio Inoki is a good for nothing, wannabe mixed martial arts failure that’s nothing more than a stain on my driveway!”
Piper first throwing Giant Baba at Inoki in attempt to show him up, the mind games at work the moment the Canadian eyed championship gold. Inoki made of steel, said to be an unflinching champion role model oozing respect, an impossibility in all of Piper’s reading.
A champion and a good guy? Nah, not on his watch. You don’t reach the stop without cracking a few skulls.
Using the history with Giant Baba AJPW/NJPW split, did nothing to waver the champion. Gladly taking on the challenge and declaring it a great success after house it drew, showing no sign of breaking to the frustration of Piper.
The Bag Pipe man getting in the face of the champion, declaring his reasoning to be in showing the world the fraud for which Inoki and his grand legacy is. Getting an accepted challenge before leaving us with just one more thing… “We can’t have such a spectacle as grand as you and myself clashing in this sacred ring be ruined by our champion’s little tricks. And the big boss man agrees with me. So I’ve hired a special guest ringside enforcer and trust me, ain’t nobody getting past him. A man who knows you very well, Mr Inoki. I’m sure he’ll have a thing or two to say. Ladies and gentlemen… MUHAMMED ALI!”
MATCH
w/Special Guest Ringside Enforcer: Muhammed Ali
IMPact Heavyweight Championship
Antonio Inoki vs Roddy Piper
w/Special Guest Ringside Enforcer: Muhammed Ali
IMPact Heavyweight Championship
Antonio Inoki vs Roddy Piper
A champion of normal steel in unsure surroundings, is he safe to take his eyes off the stoic and glaring boxing icon? Well he certainly can’t take his eyes off of Piper!
Obviously taking full advantage of the ringside distraction, our villain of the piece uses all he can to stomp the champion down and take the vehement distain from the crowd. Miming a boxing stance before going in on the supposed icon once more, the plan working to fruition, but perhaps paired with too cocky a declare.
Inoki standing through Piper’s strikes as fear started to enter his eyes, but knowing if he could get to corner by Ali then there’d be no way Inoki would maintain his focus. The king of the boxing world too much a threat, Ali beating him too big of a stain on his conscience to simply ignore.
Unless, for example, there was this other bloke acting an unbearable prick right in front of him. Roddy using Ali’s presense again and again to fight back in, Inoki struggling to ground his opponent amid the constant momentum halting – a game Piper truly is a master at.
Inoki getting the crowd behind him as his opponent continues to be a dick, powering out of submission, tensing his abs through punches and strikes. Muhammed Ali ain’t no idiot, the next time Piper tried something the boxing legend had had enough.
Roddy in the corner, Inoki walking towards him when Ali steps up onto the apron! A smile creeping all over the cheeky bugger’s face as he eggs Ali on to lamp his opponent. But Ali steps back down, refusing to change the course of the match, well… not directly. Inoki charging at his opponent in the corner and drags Piper down in a choke! Wrenching back, legs wrapped round him and there’s no escape for Roddy as the champion retains!
After the match going apoplectic at Ali, with the boxing champion stepping over the ropes like the big boy that he is to eye down the mouthy individual who immediately starts to change his tune. Begging Ali not to do anything stup- PUNCH right to the face! Piper out cold on mat as the crowd goes crazy.
Ali then turning to Inoki for a wee stare, a rumble from the crowd as two exchange stoic expression. A wee nod and Ali walks up the ramp, the two maintaining eye contact the entire way.
ImpMania II going off the air with Inoki holding his championship on high as medical staff check on the still flat out Piper behind him. What a lovely way to end the show.
LOL JK THE LIGHTS GO OUT.
They come back up to see ATSUSHI ONITA clad in his cool AF leather jacket, wielding a barbed wire baseball bat as he smokes one last puff of his cigarette before taking his swing. And BANG! The explosion on impact sends the champion crashing down, sparks flying out in blinding light.
Now ImpMania II actually goes off the air, as Onita puts his cigarette out on the championship, draped over Inoki’s out cold body.
WILD THING! YOU MAKE MY HEART SING.
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