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LPW SuperCycle 27.1 LIVE! From Salt Lake City, Utah! RESULTS!

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  • LPW SuperCycle 27.1 LIVE! From Salt Lake City, Utah! RESULTS!

    The Kid sits at his desk – feet propped up -- backstage, going through his phone while intermittently keeping an eye on proceedings via the large TV mounted on the wall. There’s a slow, forceful knock on the door to his office.

    The Kid: COME IN!

    The door opens, and The Kid immediately hops to his feet.

    The Kid: … Chris. Wasn’t expecting to see you. I trust you come “correct,” if you will.

    Chris Austin strolls into view, eyes narrowed.

    The Kid: You look bigger, man. Been hitting the gym?

    Austin: I’m used to carrying around an extra 12, 13 pounds on my person. But I lost about 10 of them rather quickly and without just cause in Phoenix. My body didn’t feel right after the fact … so I made some changes.

    With that, Austin’s arms – which are noticeably more defined – come into view as he rests the Mount Vesuvius Torch on his shoulder and exhales deeply.

    The Kid: You don’t have much of a reason to walk around with that anymore, my friend.

    Austin: Personal reasons.

    The Kid: Moving on … anyway, I’m glad you’re here. I just … ahem. I wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings between you and I and that you understand why I had to do what I did.

    Austin scoffs as The Kid forces a nervous chuckle.

    The Kid: It had to be done, Chris. For your involvement with PERC, for --

    Austin: By that logic, if not for me apparently fucking everything up, you aren’t able to swoop in and buy this company at a bargain. You have a funny way of repaying people who technically did you a favor. But … while there are plenty of hard feelings, I understand that it would be pointless to take them out on you. So, much to my chagrin, you get off scot-free. I cannot say the same for Bronx.

    I’m here for two things: One, I wanted to let you know that regardless of your plans, I’m going to main event Altered Reality and win the Martinez Cup. And secondly … be careful about the company you keep.

    The Kid: And what are you implying?

    Austin: Al. Don’t let him get you up shit’s creek without a paddle.

    The Kid: I’m sure I don’t have to worry about anything he tries to do. He’s good people.

    Austin: Until you put his title in jeopardy. As long as you do right by him, he will follow along like a good boy. When you did what you did, he was first to fellate you about it. Just wait until you turn the crosshairs on him. He’d toss you aside just as he will Rose when she’s done playing the role he’s set forth in his little manuscript.

    The Kid: Rose? I … man, look. Co-workers engaging in personal relationships … well, it’s not my cup of tea. That said, it’s the nature of this business. I get that, and it’s not my style to interfere in the personal lives and dealings of others. You’re better than that gossipy trite, too. So do better and more importantly, no need for you to try and threaten me. I mean … you saw All-Stars. You know how it ends.

    Austin: Heh. “Not my style to interfere in the personal lives of others.” Oh, you.

    With that, Austin turns to leave.

    The Kid: Austin…

    Austin: What?

    The Kid: Best of luck in your match tonight.

    Austin: I wouldn’t call it a match.

    The Kid: No? Then what would you call it?

    Austin: Personal business. Not your style to interfere in that, remember?


    Rise up, gather round, rock this place to the ground

    Burn it up, let’s go for broke, watch the night go up in smoke

    Rock on! Rock on!

    Drive me crazier

    No Serenade, no fire brigade, just Pyromania!!

    and Insanity

    Come inside now, I implore.
    Do you think you can restore
    The crucial pieces missing from my brain?
    What seems to be the matter dear?
    Why do you cry and shake with fear?
    I've only had the best dub me insane.
    Please let me out
    Please let me out
    Please let me…


    LPW SuperCycle

    LPW SuperCycle 27.1 LIVE! From the Vivint Smart Home Arena in Salt Lake City, Utah!

    Pyrotechnics explode on the stage as the camera pans the crowd,

    Phoenix: Welcome to the LPW Supercycle!


    Announcer: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!

    David Bowie’s "The Next Day" starts playing through the speakers as Ozzy Crerar is met to heavy cheers. He is lead down the aisle to the ring by hs escort of soldiers.

    Announcer: Introducing first. From The United States of America. Weighing in at 225 lbs. OZZZY CRERAAAAAR!

    Phoenix: It is I, Blazing Phoenix alongside my broadcast colleague Robert Lillehammer. We start off with a special tag team attraction. Heading to the ring is Ozzy Crerar. One of our more charismatic superstars.

    Lillehammer: Glad one person on his team is. If I am going to announce this match, I’d rather stay awake.

    Phoenix: Already on that train huh?

    Lillehammer: What? Ozzy’s the most to prove in this match. Charisma alone won’t save him from his opponents. Didn’t we get rid of the PERCS?

    Phoenix: Those are men who seem to share the ideas Ozzy shows us all. In these days I can kinda understand this.

    Lillehammer: That’s… surprisingly smart. I still don’t like it.

    Ozzy steps through the ropes and his guards file out. He spins to his music, soaking in the cheers.

    Phoenix: Nevertheless, this match is going to be an important one on the road to Altered Reality.

    Ozzy’s theme fades away to give way to "Turn to Stone” by Joe Walsh. Cheers from the audience greet Mourn Despana with his wife Kassandra followed close at his side as they walk through the curtain.

    Lillehammer: Does his wife go by Kassandra Despana or Kassandra Jiménez?

    Phoenix: In my notes it says Kassandra.

    Lillehammer: Nice to see Mourn’s focused here tonight.

    Phoenix: To be fair, when is he not?

    Lillehammer: Last show.

    Phoenix: You may hate Mourn, but I am pretty sure he was focused on the title he has around his waist. How is Golden anyways?

    Lillehammer: Last I heard? Recovering comfortably.

    As Mourn steps through the ropes he looks out at the crowd and sighs.

    Announcer: And his tag team partner. Accompanied by Kassandra. He represents the Professionals. From Seattle, Washington. Weighing in at 254 lbs. He is the LPW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! MOURN DESSSPANAAAA!

    Lillehammer: Did this man just have the announcer wait until he’s in the ring to announce his name?

    Phoenix: That’s how they do it in Japan. How they do it in Boxing and MMA. He wants to always be announced like a fighter.

    Announcer: And their opponents.

    The sounds of the iconic 80s hit "You're The Best Around" by Joe Esposito bring a chorus of boos from the arena’s audience. Chris Paradise smugly strolls out with Enyo at his side.

    Announcer: First. Accompanied by his caretaker Enyo. From Buffalo, New York. Weighing in at 195 lbs. CHRIS PAARADIIISE!

    Lillehammer: A man who doesn’t need introduction. And the answer to that shady woman, Enyo.

    Phoenix: Paradise may be the Crippled Crusader, but he’s also been on a crusade to be recognized. That chip on his shoulder is the size of Utah.

    Lillehammer: But is it the size of Enyo?

    Phoenix: Probably not.

    Run The Jewels’ "Blockbuster Night Part 1" interrupt as the crowd turns to a mixed reaction. Into the arena walks International Heavyweight Champion Al. He fakes humbleness to the crowd with each step to the ring showing more and more confidence.

    Announcer: And his tag team partner. From San Francisco, California. Weighing in at 230 lbs. He is the International Heavyweight Champion. AAAAAALLL!

    Phoenix: Besting Bobino at All Stars, Al is geared up for Altered Reality season. It took a herculean effort, but he’s here tonight as the longest reigning International Heavyweight Champion in LPW history.

    Lillehammer: Bob had him. He escaped. He’s scum, What he’s done to this company…

    Phoenix: Robert...

    Lillehammer: What? He’s a pariah. He spent time in prison WHILE he was champ. Al’s been around forever. He ousted those before our new owner. He’s gonna power play here He always does.

    Phoenix: Weren’t you on the board?

    Al steps through the ropes and eyes across the ring at Mourn. His eyes turn to Kassandra and dismissively shakes his head.

    Lillehammer: No comment. Yes Al. Do something stupid.

    Phoenix: You really hate this man, don’t you?

    Lillehammer: What gives you that idea?

    The teams go to the corners, Mourn’s eyes barely regarding Ozzy.

    Phoenix: Ozzy wanting to start.

    Lillehammer: Mourn’s motioning Ozzy out of the ring. Al’s motion…

    Phoenix: They aren’t going to wait for AR!


    Right after the bell rings, Paradise tags himself in. The crowd, who had begun to get hyped over the possible fireworks, boos Paradise unmercifully.

    Lillehammer: Paradise… I would have enjoyed seeing Mourn continue what he started the last time they faced…

    Phoenix: Al seems slightly pleased with this. Okay, Mourn and Paradise locking up, go behind by Paradise. Hard back elbow by Mourn. Mourn, BIELS him to Paradise’s corner.

    Mourn: TAG!

    Al reaches out his arm. Paradise, in anger, pulls himself out of the corner.

    Phoenix: Mourn waiting to tie up-


    Phoenix: Huge slap by Paradise!

    Lillehammer: Woooo!

    Phoenix: That was an amazingly hard slap that snapped Mourn’s head to the side.

    Mourn looks to Enyo and shakes his head. Paradise, seeing this, reels back to slap again, but is beat to the punch with a hard palm strike that floors Paradise.

    Lillehammer: Okay, maybe that was a bad move.

    Phoenix: Paradise arguing that it was a punch.

    Lillehammer: Mourn closing the distance!

    Phoenix: European Uppercut surprises the World champ,. Wild right hand By Mourn, ducked, side headlock attempt by Paradise! Mourn powers out. Paradise with another European Uppercut. Mourn dodges a second, runs the ropes, ducks under Paradise’s back elbow. AND CAREENS INTO PARADISE WITH A IMPACTFUL RUNNING CROSSBODY!

    Lillehammer: He almost cut him in two!

    Phoenix: Mourn grabs Paradise. Mourn pushes him back to Ozzy. Tag Paradise hit hard with and elbow to the mush by the hand of Justice. A scoop, and a slam.

    Lillehammer: Only one man of justice in this fight and he’s the man backing to the ropes to get away after the results of that obvious illegal double team.

    Phoenix: Al asking to be tagged in.

    Paradise looks to Mourn and smirks. He reaches out to his tag partner who politely tags in.

    Phoenix: Mourn asking to be tagged back in.

    Lillehammer: Ozzy waving him off. The Desperado doesn’t appear to be very happy.

    Phoenix: Al and Ozzy lock up, Ozzy into a quick side headlock. Al trying to lift out of it, Ozzy wrenching down even harder.

    Al stomps down on the hamstring of Ozzy. Al twists out and nails a snap suplex.

    Phoenix: Al holding on, bringing him back up. Lift... Ozzy blocks, Lifts again, Ozzy flips behind, Inverted Suplex Vertical by Ozzy Crerar!

    Lillehammer: That completely caught the International Heavyweight Champ off guard.

    Phoenix: Ozzy hoisting up Al. Al reverses and DRIVES Ozzy back first into a neutral corner. Now a series of shoulder blocks. Ozzy with some elbows fighting back, Knee lift return form Al doubles over Ozzy. Al lifts him up with a double leg, and slams him Paradise’s corner. Paradise tags in. Al backing up-

    Al strides towards Mourn.

    Lillehammer: Mourn trying to get in. Ref warning him.

    Phoenix: REF! Paradise with a choke. Gets out of the way. AL RUNS INTO OZZY WITH A HIP ATTACK!

    Lillehammer: Some teamwork from them? Didn’t expect that.

    Phoenix: Ozzy mounted by Paradise who now reigns down with elbows. Now a blatant choke! Ref to three. Paradise now, backing up Ozzy into the corner with a few forearms. Tag. Al the legal man double team...Headbutt to the exposed ribs of Ozzy.

    Lillehammer: I’ve gotta admit, Al’s a ring general when he wants to be. Al’s now burying him with clinched headbutts.

    Phoenix: Al, Overhead Suplex! Cover! One! Two! Kick-out at an early two now. Al still on him. Lifts him up, Samoan drop! Al, tags in Paradise. Double team. Double Suplex!

    Lillehammer: The Crippled Crusader wasting no time.

    Phoenix: Paradise has him for a Boston Crab! Ozzy trying to fight free. Right hands… Paradise blocks, into a cross armbreaker! Ozzy pulls his arms together.. Feet on the ropes.

    Lillehammer: The two have Isolated, and totally overmatched.

    Phoenix: Hard to argue at this injecture. Crowd behind Ozzy. Paradise bringing Ozzy up to a vertical base by the arm. Elbow to the midsection by Crerar! Another! Ozzy breaks free-

    Ozzy attempts to run the ropes, but Paradise grabs him by the hair and yanks him to the mat.

    Lillehammer: Perfect counter there!

    Phoenix: Illegal and you know it! Paradise seems proud of himself.

    Lillehammer: He needs to stay on task.

    Phoenix: Paradise has him up. He may be going for a Piledriver! Lifts. Ozzy drops to a knee. Paradise now dropping elbows onto his spine. Lifts again!

    Lillehammer: Counters again!

    Phoenix: Paradise disengages, hard slap to Ozzy. Now a European uppercut! Ozzy, sent for an irish whip- OZZY WITH A SPRINGBOARD CROSSBODY! ONE! TWO! NO!

    Lillehammer: That was too close.

    Phoenix: Ozzy crawling, Paradise with the tag. Al… Drops an elbow on the back of Ozzy. now a series of them! Al, now, Looking for The Heart of Darkness!! Ozzy has him off the ground! Ozzy, falls back on top of Al! He desperately needs a tag!

    Lillehammer: Every time the seem to get close to putting Ozzy away, the cretin finds a way to buy himself some time!

    Phoenix: I can safely say he NEEDS a tag right now. Al, tags in Paradise. Ozzy… Leg caught by Paradise. Ozzy up to one leg, Enziguri-

    Lillehammer: DUCKED BY PARADISE-

    Phoenix: OZZY HITS HIM ON THE REBOUND! Amazing reverse enziguri by Ozzy. He’s reaching… TAG!

    Lillehammer: NONONONOO!

    Phoenix: Mourn bowls over Paradise with a running forearm smash.

    Mourn keeps stride and makes a mad dash at Al, who drops fro the apron narrowly missing getting hit with an elbow of his own.

    Lillehammer: Just missed.

    Phoenix: Paradise on Mourn’s back! Sleeper attempt… Mourn snaps him off. Mourn a kick to the spine of Paradise, And another! Mourn off the ropes, SLIDING D To the back of the head of the crippled Crusader! Mourn ragdolls him up.

    Lillehammer: Deadlifted!

    Phoenix: SAITO SUPLEX! Mourn, into a cover! One! Two!-

    Lillehammer: AL IN WITH THE SAVE!

    Mourn sits up looking forward processing what just happened. Al takes the moment to slap Mourn in the back of the head.

    Phoenix: Oh boy...

    Lillehammer: Al now pushing him from behind. Taunting that lunatic is a bad idea...

    Phoenix: Mourn slowly standing. Al jaw jacking him.

    Lillehammer: They’re both head to head…

    Phoenix: AL EXPLODES WITH A RIGHT HAND! PALM STRIKE BY MOURN! FOREARM BY MOURN! Now a series of right hands by Al! Mourn dodges, off the ropes, HIGH KNEE BY MOURN SEND AL INTO THE ROPES!

    Lillehammer: Mourn pressing forward-


    Lillehammer: Mourn up in an instant!

    Phoenix: Spinning chop by Mourn drops Paradise to his knees! Mourn, FLATLINER! Crowd on their feet! Paradise in a bad spot...Mourn measuring…

    Lillehammer: He’s going from the Northwest Lariat!

    Phoenix: Waiting… Mourn off-

    As Mourn bounces off the ropes, Ozzy blindly tags in.

    Phoenix: Tag!

    Lillehammer: Mourn giving a nasty glare to Ozzy.


    Lillehammer: The International Heavyweight Champion's trying to get Paradise’s attention!

    Phoenix: Paradise turns around, Standing big boot by Ozzy sends Paradise bouncing off the ropes.

    Lillehammer: Blind tag!

    Phoenix: Paradise dodges the The Eponymous Boot, PRIVILEGE CHECK BY PARADISE!

    Lillehammer: Al’s the legal man.

    Phoenix: Ozzy’s on dream street. Al, #1 STUNNA! Off the ropes, HIT-STICK! LORD WHAT A SPEAR!

    Lillehammer: Paradise’s trying to hold off Mourn!

    Phoenix: ONE! TWO!

    Mourn throws Paradise to the side and lunges.

    Phoenix: THREE! Al and Paradise win!

    Announcer: Winners of this contest, Chris Paradise and the International Heavyweight Champion, AL!

    Al and Chris Paradise (4.09 APS + 3.65 APS + 0.6 vote = 8.34 total)
    Mourn Despana and Ozzy Crerar (4.13 APS + 2.78 APS + 0.8 vote = 7.71 total)

    "Blockbuster Night Part 1" by Run The Jewels plays as Al rubs his head. The ref lifts the arms of Paradise and Al. Paradise looking down at OZZY triumphantly, Al looking to Mourn with a satisfied grin while the WHC rolls out of the ring.

    Phoenix: A scintillating victory for Paradise and Al.

    Lillehammer: Try as they could. Ozzy and Mourn were never on the same page.

    Phoenix: Correct. And while Paradise and Al aren’t a team, they were at least able to take advantage of mistakes. Ozzy got isolated one too many times, and Al, being the IHC, did what he does best. Won.

    Mourn, outside the ring looks up to Al while Kassandra retrieves his championship. Al looks down at him and raises the IHC to the sky.

    Al: Mine. Now, and forever!

    Mourn, in a fit or rage, flips the nearby steel steps over. He takes the championship from an annoyed Kassandra. Both of their eyes dart at Ozzy before they march up the ramp.

    Lillehammer: Always nice to see Mourn show some passion about something. Does him some good.

    Phoenix: The opening salvo goes to Al on our march to Altered Reality. Paradise gets a much needed victory under his belt and we are started here tonight at the LPW Supercycle. We’ll be right back!

    The camera pans backstage to Caesar Osiris who is sitting behind a desk, resembling a talk show.

    Osiris: Good evening everyone, and welcome to Reality Check, my brand new show here on the LPW network, looking at the lead up to Altered Reality in just a few weeks. Tonight, I’ll be looking at what will surely be a headlining match for the ages, the Altered Reality tournament for the Western States Heritage Championship. After I pin Bobino tonight, I will solidify my place in the match, and get to pick my challenger for the tournament. But after I become champion, what exactly am I champion of? What exactly are the Western States? Let’s take a look!

    A screen rolls down from the top, showing a map of the United States. The map zooms in to the western side, labelling Washington, Oregon, and California.

    Osiris: On the west most side, you’ll notice we have 3 states: Washington, Oregon, and California. Washington of course most famous for being mistaken for Washington, DC, the Washington that actually matters. Washington is cold, dreary and dull. Nobody should ever go there, under any circumstances. Kurt Cobain lived there, and he killed himself because Hell is literally better than Washington. Washington is also known for having the Space Needle, or as Bobino’s mother refers to it, the only butt plug that fits.

    The map moves down, highlighting Oregon.

    Osiris: Next up, Oregon. If you’ve ever wondered why all the trees in Washington lean south? It’s because Oregon sucks. Oregon is known for Portland State University, the only University with a diploma that also counts as a handicap permit. You can just stick it on the dashboard, and park anywhere you want. The difference between a Portland State University Diploma and toilet paper is $75,000 a sheet. Seriously, Oregon is so bad, the people there don’t even need birth control, their personalities do the work for them.

    The map moves down, highlighting California.

    Osiris: And finally, California, or as most call it, “There’s more than just L.A. Here?” The state where a marriage can be considered a success, if it outlasts a loaf of bread. There’s so much crime there, the kids in grade school write about “What I stole on my summer vacation”. The air and water there are as toxic as the culture. During World War 2, the Axis tried to attack California using submarines, but they were destroyed by pollution.

    The map moves back to the United States as a whole.

    Osiris: Look, the Western States aren’t great, but my plan here is to conquer the world, and really, you’ve gotta start somewhere. So I’ll take the greasy, I’ll take the grimy and disgusting, and then once I’m done with Bobino, I’ll take my spot in the Western States Championship tournament at Altered Reality. Until next time!

    “How great the tremors will be when the judge comes."

  • #2
    We’re back from break and Chris Paradise is stumbling through the curtain, still celebrating.

    Paradise: And that’s a victory for the good guys! Chris Paradise. International Heavy Champion. Tag Team of the dec-

    ???: You gon’ have to slow your roll on that, big man.

    The camera turns away from Paradise to reveal Bronx walking towards The Crippled Crusader. He smiles, his palms are open, and he exhales slowly as he makes a “pump the brakes” motion with his hands.

    Bronx: Now I ain’t gonna deny that that win wasn’t a big one. It was. And you should be proud. But,

    Paradise: But nothing, you butt muncher. I stood across the ring from the World Heavyweight Champion, stared him in the eye, and got a biiiiiig W over YOUR boy, Mourn Despa-

    ???: Oh? You got the win?

    From behind the curtain comes a Al, sweat dripping from his face, arms, and chest.

    Al: Because if I recall correctly, and it only went down five minutes ago so I think I do, I put down Ozzy, I got the pin, and I got my hand raised while… while you ran interference.

    Paradise: You were lucky enough to be the legal man while I held the World Heavyweight Champion in check. That’s it and that’s…

    Bronx: Lookin’ like the Tag Team of the Decade gonna have an abrupt breakup.

    Al: Hold up. I get to castigate my crippled comrade.

    Bronx: Al, you can’t be ser…

    Al: Dead serious. This dude went out there and balled out against-

    Paradise: -against a dude who couldn’t win a match if his life depended on it and a paper Champion who-

    Bronx’s eyes furrow, a shocked look on his face as he looks to Al to see if he still accepts his partners audacious claims.

    Al: -who isn’t a paper Champion at all but one of the toughest competitors this company has to offer and at Altered Reality will be-

    Paradise: exposed as a goddamn fraud, phony, and a namby-pamby pansy as Al here-

    Al: -walks into battle understanding the grav-

    Paradise: -grave his ass is going to need once the match is ov-


    Bronx: It’s the Company you keep, Champ. I sleep fine knowing who my guys are.

    Bronx shakes his head, walking away. Al looks at Paradise dumbfounded, his mouth agape.

    Al: Unbelievable.

    Paradise: Ah, screw both of you! I don’t need you! I don’t need either of you! ENYO!?

    “Motherfucker of the Year” by Motley Crue hits as Sixx King saunters from the curtain, Steve Storme soon to follow. Boos rain down on two of the most despised competitors in LPW history, and both sides soak them in. Sixx proceeds down, jawing at the fans while motioning a title belt around his waist as Storme, fork between teeth, merely sneers disdainfully.

    Announcer: The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Steve Storme. From Los Angeles, California weighing 239 pounds… this is SIXXXXXXX KING!!

    Phoenix: Altered Reality come early as Sixx King will tangle with one-half of the LPW Tag Champions Steven Thornridge. These two came in, and immediately cut the line as the next contenders for the belts. The Professionals certainly haven’t forgotten what happened the last time this foursome crossed paths.

    Lillehammer: HA! What line?? There was no line! It begins and ends with Sixx and Storme, and frankly, I don’t see how Thornridge and Bronx are even competitive with these two.

    Phoenix: You know tag team wrestling is about more than what Sixx and Storme have exhibited. Bronx and Thornridge are both multi-time tag champions. They’re specialists at it and then some.

    Lillehammer: And Sixx and Storme have also tasted tag team gold. Call a spade a spade, the Professionals will look like amateurs against these two future Hall-of-Famers.

    “The Temper Trap” by Trembling Hands hits to cheers, as a focused Steven Thornridge comes into view, title over shoulder. Bronx is closely in tow as the Professionals make a beeline to the ring. Thornridge rolls into the ring and hands his tag belt to the referee as Bronx warns Storme to keep his distance.

    Announcer: His opponent, accompanied to the ring by Bronx. From Perth, Austraila, weighing in at 223 pounds. He is one-half of the LPW World Tag Team Champions! Representing the Professionals, “The Aussie Crusader” STEEEEEEEVEN THORNNNNNNRIDGE!!

    With Thorny clearly chomping at the bit, the referee signals for the bell – and it is then rung -- and goes to hand the tag title to the timekeeper. Sixx immediately stops the official and snatches the tag belt from him, raising it high as if predicting the future. The crowd boos as Thornridge looks on indignant.

    Lillehammer: The gall of these people to boo! He’s merely showing them the future!

    Phoenix: That is not his property!

    Sixx flippantly tosses the title back to the ref, who goes to hand the belt to the timekeeper. As he does so, Sixx takes this time to try and ambush Thornridge. TAC happens to see it coming, but the ref does not see the ensuing fracas.

    Phoenix: Sixx trying to get the drop-THORNRIDGE HALTS HIM WITH A KICK BELOW THE BELT!

    Lillehammer: What the blazes!!! DISQUALIFY THAT MAN!

    Wasting no time, Thornridge takes the obviously compromised Sixx to his feet and lifts him on his shoulders.


    Announcer: Here is your winner… THE AUSSIE CRUSADER, STEVEN THORNRIDGE!!!

    Steven Thornridge (3.8 APS + 1.1 vote = 4.9 total)

    Sixx King (0 APS + 0.3 vote = 0.3 total)


    Phoenix: Turnabout is fair play, and Sixx is shocked! Storme is in the ring and he cannot believe it! What a win for the young Aussie, albeit through uncharacteristic means! WAIT A MINUTE! Storme has jumped on Thorny here!

    Lillehammer: Good! He shouldn’t be proud of this highway robbery!

    Bronx is quick into the ring, kicking Storme off of TAC. Sixx has since recovered, and he and Bronx trade blows. The sides split into their own fights, with Storme able to get the upper-hand with an eye rake and a forearm that sends Thornridge outside to regain his bearings. Bronx, who has since peppered Sixx to a knee with rapid jabs, sees his momentum stopped as Storme grabs him around the waist. Bronx delivers a back elbow to gain distance, but Sixx manages to drop Bronx to a knee with a clubbing blow before calling for Storme to lift Bronx.

    Phoenix: They’re gonna go for that deadly pop-up Superkick here!

    Lillehammer: Splendid step to righting the wrongs that just unfolded in front of us – SIXX LOOK OUT!

    Storme whips Bronx to the ropes – during which Thornridge has re-entered the ring unbeknownst to Sixx and Storme, barbed-wire cricket bat in hand – and lifts, but Sixx is dropped in a heap thanks to Thornridge striking him in the back with the weapon, and Bronx reverses Storme’s flapjack attempt into a DDT! Both Sixx and Storme scramble from the ring, seething and bested in this confrontation.

    Phoenix: The tag champions hold court here, as Thornridge gets a major win and the Professionals gain some momentum!

    Lillehammer: Those low-down, dirty, no-good … should have never let them in this country! THIS IS THE DAMNED PROBLEM RIGHT HERE!

    Phoenix: WILL YOU STOP!

    Both sides jaw at one another, with the Professionals gesturing their belts aggressively and motioning for the challengers to bring it. Sixx and Storme backpedal up the ramp, indicating things will be on their terms.As Bronx and Thornridge play to the crowd as their tag team theme “Guerilla Radio” by Rage Against the Machine echoes through the arena.

    Phoenix: Bronx and Thornridge just sent one hell of a message here at the expense of Sixx King and Steve Storme.

    Lillehammer: You wait until Sixx and Storme respond. They’ve merely awakened the beasts!

    Suddenly the music is cut.

    I got, I got, I got, I got
    Loyalty, got royalty inside my DNA...

    “DNA.” by Kendrick Lamar plays as the crowd turns on its head. Out walks the Contract Killer Chris Austin; Mt. Vesuvius touch in hand and a particularly surly sneer plastered on his face. Sixx and Storme grin devilishly as Austin throws a head-nod in their direction before proceeding down to the ring.

    Phoenix: Looks like our next match is right now, but we’ve got to take a quick break!

    Lillehammer: LOVELY! Surely Chris Austin will regulate that uppity Bronx!

    I don’t contemplate, I meditate, then off your fucking head,
    This that put-the-kids-to-bed,
    This that I got, I got, I got, I got ...

    “How great the tremors will be when the judge comes."


    • #3
      We return to the action where Chris Austin remains standing outside of the ring. Austin threateningly points to Thornridge with the torch. The ref, mindful of Austin’s gesture comes out of the ring.

      Announcer: Our next match is set for one fall! Coming to the ring, from San Jose, California. Weighing in at 230 lbs. CHRIS AUUUUSTINN!

      Phoenix: Here is Chris Austin. LPW’s former de facto #1 contender. Got stripped of that distinction after a public court hearing. After disrespecting the United States Championship. I say, good.

      Lillehammer: He may have been in my cross hairs… see what I did there?

      Phoenix: Ha.

      Lillehammer: For disrespecting LPW’s way of honoring the great United States. But he didn’t deserve that. It isn’t like he knelt for our glorious national anthem.

      Phoenix: Be that as it may it looks like the ref isn’t going to allow Thornridge to stay around for this match.

      Lillehammer: Good. You see what just happened? He’s liable to attack Austin.

      Phoenix: Don’t be ridiculous. Thorny would never do something like that unwarranted. Thornridge offering little protest.

      Thornridge nods to the ref and smiles to Austin. Austin shakes his head in disgust and looks to his torch. After little deliberation he takes a step towards Thornridge.

      Lillehammer: CHRIS! GIVE INTO YOUR HATE!

      Thorny takes a defensive posture while Bronx yells at Austin from the ring. Austin shakes his head again before he leaps up onto the ring apron, paying Thornridge no further mind. Once on the apron, Bronx backs up and tests the opposite side of the ring’s ropes. Austin places the torch in the corner, removes his hoodie, then slingshots himself over the top rope and into the ring.


      Phoenix: Bell rings and this special singles contest is underway. Both men sizing up, collar elbow tie up. Austin with the go behind. Bronx quickly to the ropes.

      Lillehammer: Taking the coward’s way out.

      Phoenix: Austin taunting Bronx with a push in the back of the head.

      Lillehammer: About as clean of a break as you’d-

      Phoenix: Austin now raining down right hands, Bronx ducks through and now he’s with a few jabs! Austin now dodging. Leaps in with a side headlock on Bronx.

      Lillehammer: Like a boxer.

      Phoenix: Indeed. Austin shoots Bronx off the ropes. Leapfrog.

      Austin leaps again, this time with his back turned to Bronx, Bronx cartwheels instead of going underneath.

      Phoenix: Dropkick by Bronx! Austin back up quick, hip toss AUSTIN LANDED ON HIS FEET!

      Lillehammer: Unreal.

      Phoenix: Armdrag takeover by Austin. Now riding high with an arm bar. Bronx fighting to his feet. Austin, transitioning to a wristlock. Bronx trying to find a way free...

      Bronx gets to the ropes, and instead of looking for a break, he uses the top rope to flip out of the hold.

      Lillehammer: Whoa!

      Phoenix: Bronx, HUGE hip toss. This time effective. Austin back up, Headlock takeover by Bronx. Austin quickly out into a hammerlock.

      Lillehammer: Working on the arm of that professional slacker.

      Phoenix: Austin drops a knee on the arm. Bronx fighting, Reverses it into a hammerlock of his own. Bronx spins him around. Snapnare to Austin. Bronx, off the ropes. Austin dodges a basement dropkick. Austin off the ropes, Bronx with a lovely twisting head scissors Bronx, armdrag takeover!

      Lillehammer: The Contract Killer again counters into a headlock.

      Phoenix: Bronx fighting quick to power up. Pushing Austin to the ropes. Sends off Austin, shoulder block takes down Bronx.

      Lillehammer: Showing a little bit of his strength there.

      Phoenix: Austin with a few good old fashioned stomps to the arm of Bronx. Now a keylock on the tag champ. Bronx again fighting up. Bronx twisting, reverses it into one of his own.

      Bronx steps trough and uses his leg to help attempt to bridge Austin back.

      Lillehammer: Bronx using leverage to bring Austin to the…

      Austin drops quickly to the mat and kicks up hitting Bronx right in the worked arm.

      Phoenix: Up kick by Austin, now one to the knee.

      Lillehammer: Austin nips up!

      Phoenix: Bronx with a clothesline, blocked, Austin yanks the back of Bronx’s head across his knee. Beautiful counter into the neckbreaker.

      Lillehammer: Austin is dangerous whenever he has his wits about him. Unfortunately for Thornridge’s handler, that happens to be at all times.

      Phoenix: Austin now on top with mounted punches. Ref to four and Austin quickly off.

      Lillehammer: A chastising glance to the ref for good measure.

      Phoenix: Austin digging his knee down into the side of Bronx’s neck. Not a move likely to get a submission, but it has to hurt. Austin finds an opening to deliver a short elbow. Bronx rolling away.

      Lillehammer: Austin looking like he’s hunting a kill. Observing.

      Phoenix: Swinging neckbreaker! The snap on the move. Into a cover, and Bronx out at one. Side headlock by Aus-, Bronx slides out. Bronx quickly to his feet, SNAP DDT BY AUSTIN! Austin right there with Bronx. Cover. And out again at one.

      Lillehammer: Such quickness by The Contract Killer.

      Phoenix: Austin waiting, FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN! SUPERKICK RIGHT TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! Now with the cover, One! Two- out at an early two kickout. Austin arguing with the ref. That count was fair.

      Lillehammer: Did you see the PPV?

      Phoenix: Robert, please? Bronx is favoring his neck. Austin, Northern Lights Suplex, flips over DEADLIFT! Another! One! Two! No! Bronx stays alive.

      Lillehammer: Okay, I like that Austin. Mercilessly picking apart his opponent.

      Phoenix: Bronx showing a little toughness here. Hard forearm to the ear by Austin. Another. Snapping Bronx’s head back. Knee lift to the midsection. Gory Special!

      Lillehammer: He’s torturing his spine!

      Bronx is able to wiggle his feet free, which causes Austin to flip Bronx over.

      Phoenix: Bronx, armdrag sends Austin to the outside!

      Lillehammer: INCOMING!

      Phoenix: TOPE SUICIDA! That Suicide Senton right on the money!

      Lillehammer: Yes, but the idiot’s already injured? That was a stupid risk.

      Phoenix: Austin was starting to get on a roll and he had to do something. Bronx now raining down right hands onto Austin.

      Lillehammer: Those are illegal ref!

      Phoenix: Bronx out in front of us… Rams Austin’s head off the table. And again!

      Lillehammer: Watch the hat!

      Bronx ignores the demand and grabs Austin roughly by the head.

      Phoenix: Bronx pulling him to the ring. Rams Austin’s head into the apron now!

      Lillehammer: Oh, NOW he rolls Austin back into the ring.

      Phoenix: Bronx taking a moment to rub one of the kinks out of his neck. Bronx back in. Austin with a back elbow!. Austin, Irish whip to the corner, reversal. TWISTING SPRINGBOARD FOREARM BY AUSTIN!

      Lillehammer: That quickness. Bronx is totally over-matched.

      Phoenix: Ridiculous. Austin’s in charge but Bronx’s nowhere near outmatched.. Both men to their feet Right hand drops Bronx back to his knees. Bronx with a right hand to the gut of Austin. He’s fighting with all he’s got, Austin’s simply ahead of the curve. Another shot by Austin! Bronx fires back with a punch to Austin’s dome… STEP UP ENZIGURI BY AUSTIN!

      Lillehammer: Austin’s digging his toe into the canvas. What is he..

      Phoenix: Measuring.. *THWACK* DEAR GOD!

      Lillehammer: Sweet Reagan, WHAT A BUZZSAW KICK! Bronx just crumpled in a heap!

      Phoenix: Austin with the cover. ONE! TWO! NOOO! AUSTIN’S LIVID!

      Lillehammer: Bronx is in lots of pain. A smart man would have called it a day. Honestly wouldn’t be shocked if Austin knocked some sense out of him, look at his eyes.

      Phoenix: Austin rubbing his face. Trying to refocus. He back to Bronx now. The tag champ’s head is slumping a little as he raises, Hard elbow to the back of Bronx’s head.

      Lillehammer: He’s pulling Bronx to the turnbuckle. I have no clue what he has in mind, but if I was Bronx, I’d quit now.

      Phoenix: Nonsense! Bronx is in a bad spot. HARD right hand by Austin. Lifts Bronx to a fireman's carry… He’s climbing the turnbuckle!

      Lillehammer: Okay, I may have to look away.

      Phoenix: Austin’s up to the second rope.... BRONX IS FIGHTING! He’s free!

      Bronx gingerly lands with his feet on the top rope.

      Lillehammer: What is he…


      Lillehammer: If he hasn’t been picked apart by Austin, he’d be able to capitalize.

      Phoenix: Austin has done a number on the man’s neck. Ref’s count at 4. Both men fighting up. Bronx on his knees, Austin, first to his feet. Looking for momentum, off the- BRONX, BEHIND WITH A SCHOOL BOY! ONE! TWO! NO!

      Lillehammer: So close!

      Phoenix: Bronx, CRUCIFIX PIN! ONE! TWO! KICK-OUT!

      Lillehammer: AGAIN CLOSE!

      Phoenix: Bronx up first, turning him over for a backslide. Fighting. Both men… wait, AUSTIN! TWISTING GORY BOMB! INTO A COVER! ONE! TWO! NOO! BRONX STILL FIGHTING!

      Lillehammer: He can’t have much more. His arm, ribs, face, neck. All been attacked! What keeps him fighting?

      Phoenix: Because he has the ability to stand toe to toe with Austin. Austin picks Bronx over his shoulder. Rams him into the corner. Now a shoulder block. And another into the belly of the Troublemaker. Austin distancing himself, Another step up Enziguri! Now he backs up again, Circles, YAK- Bronx dodged out of the way of the Yakuza kick.

      Lillehammer: Austin may have avoided tearing a groin, but he seems to have been slowed just a tad.

      Lillehammer: Bronx blocks a right hand and now he’s swinging for the fences, third right hand drops Austin. Bronx, Off the ropes, BULLDOG! Bronx holds onto the headlock. Pulls Austin up, go behind, BRIDGING BACK SUPLEX! ONE! TWO! TH- AUSTIN SQUIRMS OUT JUST BEFORE THREE!

      Phoenix: Bronx has weathered the storm, but can he seal the deal? Bronx trying to fight through the pain. Knee lift rocks Austin upright. Bronx, Handspring CORKSCREW ROUNDHOUSE-

      Lillehammer: DODGED BY AUSTIN Austin, Pele kick-


      As Bronx flips for the running Asai DDT, Austin slips his head free.

      Phoenix: Bronx is fighting to flip over. Tosses Bronx off, BACKSTABBER!

      Lillehammer: That’s a version of what Austin calls the FLEXICUTION from what I understand! That scintillating counter sent Bronx bouncing viciously into the air!!

      Phoenix: Austin grabs Bronx-1888! BRONX’S FIGHTING! HE’S FADING!

      Lillehammer: And FAST. This “Professional” is professionally done.

      The ref asking Bronx for the tap but he’s not getting one! Bronx’s fading. Ref lifting the arm. Twice. A third! He’s asking for the bell!

      Announcer: Winner of the contest by the result of a submission, CHRIS AUUSTIN!

      Chris Austin (4.26 APS + 1.0 vote = 5.26 total)
      Bronx (4.06 APS + 0.3 vote = 4.36 total)

      As the bell rings rigorously, Austin doesn’t let go.

      Lillehammer: Bronx’s defiance seems to have annoyed the Contract Killer… It was an admittedly valiant effort, but Bronx was never quite right after that low Roundhouse. I’m not sure what he calls it, but it sent Bronx into pure desperation mode.

      Phoenix: Ref’s pleading him to let go. Now the ref’s warning a DQ!

      In response, Austin looks up at the ref and wrenches harder. When the ref says it a second time, Austin immediately releases the hold and leaps to his feet. The ref wisely slides out of the ring to avoid confrontation. “DNA.” by Kendrick Lamar plays as Austin coldly stares down at an unconscious Bronx.

      Lillehammer: If I was the owner, I would have thought twice about angering this man. He’s liable -- and CLEARLY capable -- to take it out on anyone across the ring from him.

      Phoenix: Bronx was close to the upset, but Austin was close to injuring Bronx. The roster has been put on notice, and that notice is Chris Austin is as dangerous as he has ever been.

      Lillehammer: Maybe more dangerous. Possibly lethal.

      Camera cuts to Crotchman backstage.

      Crotchman: Folks, at this time I introduce one half of the Qualifying match for the Western States Heritage Championship, Bobino.

      Bobino saunters into frame with a begrudging look on his face.

      Crotchman: Bobino, you've got to be excited, you were selected to start this competition to fill the vacant title. How do you prepare for a fight of this magnitude?

      Bobino slowly shakes his head, disbelief dripping in his expression.

      Bobino: Excited? Selected? You make it sound like some honor. Woo boy, I get to clean up after Despana and have the title he barely wanted. I get to fight more times to earn his title than he did defending it. This whole thing is a farce. I wasn't selected to represent the brand, or being rewarded for hard work. The -ONLY- reason I'm in this thing is fear.

      Crotchman: Fear? Fear of what? What are you afraid of?

      Bobino: Not me, you imbecile. Despana. He fears me. He's seen how I work, he's seen what I can do. He knows that I've proven that I deserve a championship. If he didn't put me on his leftovers, he knew Al would never give me another fair chance… so I'd be coming after him. He's smarter than that haircut makes him look. He can't get rid of me, so he's hoping to sweep me under his level.

      Crotchman: I don't know about that, I mean, Mourn doesn't seem like the fearful type. Besides, didn't the new boss sign off on this whole thing?

      Bobino: Ahh yes, the new boss. The man that's here to save us all. Supposedly a fan that has always watched and is fulfilling his dream. That makes such a great story, but I need to remind you that while he was watching at home, I was building this place on my own back. While he dreamed… I restored the value of the Hardcore Championship, and taught the world how to be violent. He wants to get swept up in Despana’s plan to avoid me… then his plans will pay.

      Crotchman: Pay how?

      Bobino: You saw how I rebuilt that Hardcore Championship. I'm sure that's the plan for Despana’s scraps. They need someone to swoop in and bring this one back to its glory. They need a problem fixed, and they need me to be the hero. They serve me softballs like Osiris, gift wrapping a trophy they need shined. I won't allow it. I'm going to win their title… but they won't like it.

      Bobino smirks quickly before stepping off screen, leaving Crotchman in disbelief.

      “How great the tremors will be when the judge comes."


      • #4
        Phoenix: This next one is the start of something big, a four man tournament for the now vacant Western States Heritage Championship. The tournament will take place at Altered Reality and the winner tonight, either Bobino or Caesar Osiris will be automatically entered into it.

        Lillehammer: Let’s get to it!

        “Never Learn Not to Love” by The Beach Boys starts to play across the speakers as Caesar Osiris makes his way down the ramp to a chorus of boo’s. He ignores the fans, as he cockily struts down the ramp.

        Lillehammer: There’s that confidence of Caesar Osiris. He’s got a lot to be confident about, but more often than not it comes back to bite him. He’d best be careful with Bobino here tonight.

        “The New Shit” by Marilyn Manson starts to play, as Bobino enters the arena. The fans boo wildly for the self proclaimed master of Darwinism.

        Phoenix: Bobino never steps into the ring without a plan to win. Nobody will ever accuse Bobino of not doing his homework.

        Lillehammer: It looks like Osiris has a plan too! Look!

        Before Bobino can step into the ring, Osiris crashes through the ropes with a suicide dive. He connects right to Bobino knocking him backwards onto the ramp. As Bobino struggles to get to his feet, Osiris connects with a stiff kick to the shoulder. The referee pushes Osiris back toward the post, before he can do any more damage. Bobino rises and charges toward Osiris with a body splash, narrowly avoiding the referee. Osiris ducks out of the way, and Bobino goes crashing into the ring post.

        Phoenix: This has devolved into a brawl quickly. The referee needs to get things under control.

        Lillehammer: Hey, this is just Osiris doing whatever it takes to get the upper hand.

        Phoenix: Osiris has made his way to the ring apron, he connects with a running knee strike to the shoulder! Osiris now, being backed up into the ring by the referee. Bobino rolls in, still clutching his shoulder. The bell rings, and this one is underway.

        Lillehammer: Like a wolf on the prowl, Osiris starts with the trash talking.

        Osiris: Just wait, I’m going to break that shoulder.

        Osiris lunges as if he’s going for an elbow strike, Bobino gets his hands up to block, but Osiris shifts gears and goes for a single leg takedown.

        Lillehammer: Osiris is playing some mind games here! It seems like he’s got the number of the record-setting hardcore champion.

        Phoenix: Don’t count out Bobino just yet. Osiris goes for the cover! He’s got the ropes, the referee doesn’t see it!




        Lillehammer: Well, Osiris has no problem winning that way, but it seems like Bobino has something to say about it.

        Phoenix: Osiris now, getting into the face of Bobino.

        Osiris: It was that close, Bob. That close!

        Osiris gets right into Bobino’s face, holding up his fingers to show how close it really was. Bobino responds with a headbutt that knocks Osiris backward.

        Phoenix: Bobino utilizing every weapon he can. We’ve seen that trademark headbutt from Bobino so many times, he doesn’t even look shaken. That’s the resolve of The Master of Darwinism. The man has plans on top of counter plans. Osiris however, is knocked on his keester. Bobino not wasting a moment, Runs toward the seated Osiris with a running lariat. Osiris goes down hard!

        Lillehammer: That one nearly took his head off! Bobino is so good at taking his anger, and making it work for him, instead of against him.

        Phoenix: Bobino is back on his feet, hits the ropes, and connects again with a running senton.

        Lillehammer: Bobino came within an inch of winning the International Heavyweight Championship last week. He went toe to toe with Al, you’ve gotta believe he’s got a great deal of frustration that he’s looking to take out on someone.

        Phoenix: Right you are. Osiris tries to stand himself back up, but Bobino picks him up with an Olympic slam, and tosses him to the side of the ring.

        As Osiris lands, Bobino stays on the assault, with powerful kicks. As Osiris tries to get to his feet, Bobino slams him into the corner, and swings at him with clubbing blows.

        Phoenix: Bobino takes Osiris out of the corner, and launches him toward the opposite side of the ring.

        Bobino follows closely behind Osiris, but Osiris slides out of the ring. Bobino crashes chest-first right into the turnbuckles and clutches his chest. Osiris slides back into the other side of the ring, almost instantly, and kicks Bobino in the chest.

        Phoenix: Osiris follows it up with a neckbreaker! Bobino goes down!

        Lillehammer: Look at this now! Osiris is rubbing his elbow right across Bobino’s neck.

        The referee tells him to break the hold, and Bobino manages to roll over to the ropes.

        Phoenix: I don’t know how much that’s going to stop Osiris though. Osiris grabs the ropes, and starts driving his feet into Bobino’s neck!

        Lillehammer: The referee is going to have his hands full with this one. Neither Bobino or Osiris are well known for following the rules.

        Phoenix: Osiris breaks the hold, and Bobino manages to crawl outside of the ring, trying to get his bearings back.

        Lillehammer: Osiris is following him out. You have to wonder if Bobino has something planned here. Bobino has managed to respond to everything Osiris has brought at him. He’s been fighting responsively all match. Eventually he’s going to run out of responses. He’s going to need to turn the tide, and keep to his plan if he wants to win.

        Phoenix: Osiris goes to grab a hold of Bobino, but the Master of Darwinism shoves him into the ring apron. He continues the assault, and slams him into the guardrail!

        Lillehammer: The tide…has turned.

        Phoenix: Right you are. Bobino dislodges the steel steps from the ringside area, and leaves them in the middle of the aisle. Osiris starts to come to, and comes after Bob, but Bobino responds with a spinebuster, planting Osiris squarely on the steel steps!

        Lillehammer: Look at Osiris squirm away! He’s clutching his back, but trying to get away as fast as he can.

        Phoenix: He must be looking to put as much distance as he can between himself and Bobino.

        Lillehammer: It looks like it won’t do him much good. Bobino has got him by the shoulder.

        Phoenix: Bobino picks up Osiris, and rams him back first into the ring post! Bobino rolls Osiris back into the ring.

        Lillehammer: Osiris is on his knees, and tumbles out to the other side of the ring as quickly as he can.

        Phoenix: Bobino reaches outside of the ring for Osiris, but Osiris pops up, and connects with an elbow to the jaw. Bobino comes tumbling out of the ring!

        Lillehammer: Osiris’s strategy so far seems to be using well-placed strikes to take down the big man as effectively as he can.

        Phoenix: Osiris has Bobino where he wants him, he grabs him by the neck, and thrusts him into the ring post. Bobino connects head first.

        Lillehammer: That’s two big blows that Bob has taken to the forehead today. He’ll want to get checked for a concussion after this is over.

        Phoenix: Bobino lands against the steel steps that he set up earlier. He props himself up, trying to get to his feet. From the other side of the ring, Osiris comes charging at him, and connects with a two foot drop kick, thrusting Bobino into the steps.

        Osiris rolls Bobino back into the ring. As soon as they are both in he goes for the cover.




        Lillehammer: Bobino kicks out of that one. Frustration mounting now on the face of Caesar Osiris.

        Phoenix: Osiris is gripping the ropes, ready to strike the second that Bobino rises.
        Bobino finally rises, and Osiris comes out with a big boot to the shoulder. It knocks Bobino back into the ropes. As the referee goes to check on Bobino, Osiris takes the time to untie the turnbuckle pads from across the ring. After it’s done, He grabs onto Bobino and thrusts the big man toward the exposed pad. Bobino reverses the Irish whip, and it’s Osiris who goes crashing into the exposed steel.

        Lillehammer: That one came back to bite Osiris. I bet he’s already regretting it.

        Phoenix: Bobino now grabs Osiris from behind for the Un-Natural Selection! Osiris wriggles free! Cross Arm Breaker! Osiris slams the arm down to the mat! He’s got the cross arm breaker locked in!

        Lillehammer: Bobino reaches for the ropes, can he get there in time? He’s just finger-tips away!

        Bobino stretches out his arm, and manages to grasp the ropes.

        Lillehammer: The referee now forcing Osiris to break the hold. Osiris takes his time, but complies. It wouldn’t do anyone any good to get disqualified here, late in the match.

        Phoenix: Bobino on the rise, he comes at Osiris with a swing, but Osiris blocks, and brings him in for a reverse STO! This is it! The Fall of Rome!

        Bobino’s eyes get wide, he stretches out his hands, and waves them, looking for the ropes. He’s not quite close enough to reach.

        Phoenix: Bobino stretches for the ropes! He’s so close! He can’t make it with his hands! Bobino stretches out a foot, and YES! He’s got it! The referee has him break the hold, but the damage may just be done!

        Lillehammer: Bob wasn’t in there for long, but the Fall of Rome is so dangerous, even in short doses.

        Phoenix: Osiris is the first one to get back on his feet, but Bobino manages to roll out of the ring. Bobino stands on the ring apron, trying to catch his breath. Osiris comes after him! Baseball slide! But no, Bobino lifts the ring skirt, and traps Osiris within it! Standing Side Super Kick to the face! Osiris covers his head, trying to block it. Bobino comes at him again with clubbing blows to all sides before Osiris manages to free himself, but both men look hurt!

        Lillehammer: Just like that, Bobino managed to turn the tide once again.

        Phoenix: Bobino rolls Osiris back into the ring. Osiris scampers into the corner, trying to get to his feet. He grabs the corner, but Bobino chops at his arm, breaking his grasp. Bobino levels him with an underhook DDT. Bobino covers him for the pin!



        No! Osiris kicks out!

        Lillehammer: He may have the personality of a cactus, but Osiris has taken a lot of punishment this match, and is STILL coming with a vengeance.

        Phoenix: I’ve met cacti with better personalities, actually. Osiris is back on his feet first, and walks toward Bobino.

        From below, Bobino reaches down, and grabs Osiris by the waistband, and pulls him into the ropes. Osiris hits the top rope, and immediately clutches at his neck. The referee checks on Osiris, whose eyes have become wide, as he attempts to open his mouth, gasping for air.

        Phoenix: He connected right in the throat! He may be having some difficulty breathing.
        As Osiris turns around, Bobino is there to greet him.

        Phoenix: DARWINISM from Bobino! Osiris is down! 1! 2! 3! This one is over! It’ll be Bobino who goes on to the Western States Heritage Championship tournament!

        Announcer: Winner of the contest and moving along to the Altered Realit Western States Heritage Championship Tournament. BOBIIINOOO!

        Bobino (3.63 APS + 1.0 vote = 4.63 total)

        Caesar Osiris (3.55 APS + 0.4 vote = 3.95 total)

        “The New Shit” by Marylin Manson[/b] hits as Bobino immediately bolts from the ring. Osiris comes to, holding his throat with a genocidal look on his face.

        Lillehammer: You’ve gotta believe this might just make Bobino the man to beat in this tournament. After what we saw tonight Bobino just might win it all at Altered Reality.

        Mourn Despana is shown in the locker room with an ice pack being applied to his shoulder by Kassandra when Thornridge barges into the room, a concession stand hotdog in hand as he sits down beside him and taking a bite out of it.

        Thornridge: I would have gotten you two a hotdog as well but I know you don’t like these so I didn’t bother this time.

        Mourn: You do know Bronx is with the trainers. Something to do with checking people who end up out cold.

        Thornridge: Yep yep. Don’t worry, I know he’s in good hands. Granted, I’ve been in their careful hands once or twice myself!

        Kassandra rolls her eyes.

        Kassandra: I wonder why?

        Thornridge: Because I get punched in the face a lot. Nature of the game really.

        Mourn: Certainly is about the nature of things…

        Thornridge took a large bite out of his hotdog, grinning proudly before happily chewing away, swallowing his mouthful before speaking.

        Thornridge: You know you two are cool right? I mean, the power couple of LPW, aside from the World Heavyweight Tag Team Champions Bronx and myself of course. You got hair coloring and the title and stuff. Plus you know how to play poker, punch people in the face, it’s all good!

        Mourn smirks to himself. He looks to Kassandra and motions to Thornridge.

        Kassandra: Oh Thornridge. Be thankful some of us around here aren’t able to do what comes to their mind.

        Mourn: I expected.... I do not even know what I expected.

        Thornridge: Expect the unexpected. Plan for the unplannable. Do… uh… yeah, what?

        Thornridge blinks a little as he seemingly confused himself in his scatterbrain thought.

        Kassandra: I hope your dick leaks.

        Mourn facepalms.

        Mourn: There it is... Thorny, I will let you in on something. Kassandra does not think highly of your… habits.

        Thornridge looked bewildered up at Kassandra before looking at Mourn once again.

        Thornridge: Hmm… so I guess you could say that… just, she fucking hates me? La-la-la-la?

        Mourn’s eyes narrow. Kassandra throws the ice pack at Thorny, who dodges it swiftly. She walks around the two, eyes piercing at Thorny while Mourn rubs his eyes.

        Mourn: DON’T... Do not do that.

        Thornridge laughs a little as he stood up from his seat, and nods his head playfully.

        Thornridge: It’s all good, just a little fun! I thought you guys might have been Puddle of Mudd fans. I’mma check up on my favorite New York borough over in the trainer’s room before the main event! Catch you Professionals later!

        Mourn: Thorny. Before you go, I need to ask you something.

        Thornridge: Yeah? What’s up boss?

        Mourn: What is so professional about you?

        Thornridge is stunned by the question, thinking for a moment before looking over at Mourn.

        Thornridge: Well, I turn up to every event with a smile on my face, ready to take on whatever challenge that is thrown my way by management, no matter who it is. That’s why I haven’t missed an event since I debuted! That’s why I get to stand side by side with Bronx and yourself. Plus, I do have a pretty sweet suit that I can bust out on occasion!

        Mourn: I see…

        Kassandra: Always on the side with your friends. Always on the side of what’s right.

        Mourn: Yeah? Yeah. What she said.

        Thornridge: Yup yup! Alright, I’ll catch you guys later on!

        Thornridge walked out of the room with hotdog in hand, leaving the Mourn and Kassandra behind as he closed the door behind him.

        Kassandra: Absolutely nothing he said stands him apart from the other fuckers lurking around here. As a professional of course.

        Mourn shakes his head.

        Mourn: He means well...

        “How great the tremors will be when the judge comes."


        • #5
          Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and is a barbed wire massacre for the LPW Hardcore championship!

          “Catch Fire” by Periphery starts to blare across the speakers as Sean Jensen makes his way down the ramp. Sean looks out at the crowd, and pumps himself up, ready to do battle. He storms his way down the ramp, and slides into the ring.

          Phoenix: Seven men battle for the prize that Joe Citizen holds, The Hardcore Championship.

          Lillehammer: At the end of the day, whoever walks out as champ will sure as hell have earned it. You never know just what to expect in a barbed wire massacre. You’ll notice around the ring that the ropes have been replaced with tightly wound barbed wire. This is downright inhumane! That wire has no place in a wrestling match!

          Phoenix: Be that as it may, Seven men are stepping into the ring tonight, but only one will walk out with the Hardcore Championship. It’s time to meet the next contender.

          “6.24” by Danger starts to play, as David Gideon Smith makes his way out from the back. He looks calm and collected. He cocks his neck, before walking coldly to the ring. Once there, he slides into the ring, careful to avoid the barbed wire. He stares at Sean for a moment, the intensity from his eyes is palpable. He backs himself into a far corner, and awaits the arrival of his next opponent.

          Lillehammer: David Gideon Smith has quickly become a top contender in LPW. It was just days ago that this man himself was the Hardcore Champion. Tonight DGS aims to get his belt back from the man they call champion, Joe Citizen.

          Phoenix: He’s a disgrace...

          “Not Gonna Die” by Skillet starts to play across the speakers as Matthew “Silver” Kazama makes his way down the ramp.

          Phoenix: Kazama looking determined tonight, you know he must be looking to avenge his reputation after a big loss to Caesar Osiris at All Stars.

          Lillehammer: He always seems to fight hard. But fighting hard isn’t enough in matches like this..

          Kazama slides into the ring, and locks eyes with Jensen and Smith, before finding himself a corner. “No Control” by David Bowie starts to play, as THE David Maverick enters the ringside area.

          Phoenix: Well, one man who you know must be watching this match keenly is Ozzy Crerar. Ozzy, barely cleared to compete tonight after the beating that Maverick gave him at All Stars.

          Lillehammer: Oh, give me a break. David Maverick knows the value of a good partner. And part of being a good partner is contributing something to the team. Ozzy wasn’t able to contribute, just like our World Champion found out in the opener… Maverick just cut him loose.

          Phoenix: He could have permanently injured him!

          Lillehammer: And the roster would have been better for it. This is LPW, there is no room for dead weight here.

          “Pour some Sugar on Me” by Def Leppard starts to play, as Jeff Watson makes his way down the ramp. Watson nervously approaches the ring.

          Lillehammer: Speaking of dead weight…

          Watson reaches up, nervously touching the barbed wire, and instantly retracts his hand. He waves his hands, and shakes his head, as if to say “no thank you” and backs himself away from the ring. From inside the ring, Kazama and Jensen start to motion for him to get inside, but Watson continues to back away.

          Phoenix: Watson has never exactly been a hardcore aficionado. He seems to be trying to stay outside the ring, rather than in it.

          Lillehammer: Yeah, but it looks like Jensen and Kazama have something to say about it, they’re going out after him!

          Phoenix: Kazama and Jensen have grabbed onto Jeff Watson who is has retreated halfway up the ramp.

          Watson struggles, trying to force the two men away from him, shoving and punching his way up the ramp. DGS and Maverick stand in the ring, confused and annoyed. “We Die Young” by Alice In Chains starts to play, as out from the back comes Trey Spruance. Trey has arrived, pushing a shopping cart filled to the brim with weapons, each one wrapped in barbed wire. The cart itself appears to be wrapped In barbed wire as well.

          Lillehammer: My god! Trey Spruance is a madman! What does that maniac have?

          Phoenix: It looks like a grab bag of barbed wire weapons, but look at this!
          Trey has started to push the cart, building up speed. As fast as he can, he rams the cart into Watson, Jensen and Kazama, running them over immediately. Trey coasts to the bottom on the cart, but by the time he gets there a good chunk of the weapons have been dislodged, and are scattered around the ringside area.

          Lillehammer: Well I have to imagine that Trey planned for this to go differently…

          Phoenix: but he’s still taken out almost half the competitors already, and we haven’t even started yet. As a reminder, there are no disqualifications or count outs. The only way to win the match is to be the first person to make a pinfall or submission.

          “Feel the Pain” by Dinosaur Jr. starts to play, as out from the back comes Joe Citizen, holding the hardcore championship. The crowd roars approvingly for the Hardcore Champion. Citizen rushes to the ring and slides in. The referee rings the bell, and the match begins.

          Phoenix: We should also remind you that pinfalls or submissions need to be made inside the ring, and in case you haven’t noticed, the ring ropes have been replaced with razor sharp barbed wire.

          Lillehammer: Joe Citizen is making good use of his title belt, right off the bat he’s smashed it into the face of DGS, the former hardcore champion! You know that’s no accident.

          Phoenix: Citizen is desperate to prove that winning the Hardocre Championship was no fluke.

          Phoenix: Citizen’s keen to assert his dominance by taking out what he perceives to be, the biggest dog in this fight, and that’s David Gideon Smith, and he’s doing pretty well so far. Right hands by Citizen and those barbed wire ropes can come into play at any moment!

          On the other side of the ring, THE-David Maverick and Trey Spruance are trading blows back and forth. Maverick dodges a swift right hand, and connects with a left that brings Spruance down to his knees.

          Phoenix: Maverick has Trey down on his back, but Spruance sweeps the leg and Maverick goes tumbling down, face-first into the barbed wire ropes! Now a violent series of elbows to the cut face of Maverick!

          Maverick recoils in pain and rolls out of the ring. On the other side of the ring, we see Mathew Kazama roll in, holding a chair wrapped in barbed wire.

          Lillehammer: The druggy still has some fight in his desecrated bones.

          Phoenix: Kazama has grabbed a chair from the shopping cart! Spruance doesn’t see him, and he cracks him in the back of the skull. Trey Spruance goes down hard!

          Lillehammer: Kazama doesn’t look like he’s finished either. He swings at DGS, but The Blackstar dodges it.

          DGS rolls under the swinging chair. As Kazama turns to face him, Joe Citizen charges him with a sweep. DGS also comes at him with a drop kick, and Kazama’s body goes sideways. He drops the chair, and it tumbles to the other side of the ring. DGS and Citizen look at it for a second, before they both lunge after the weapon.

          Phoenix: Citizen is the quicker man. He’s got the chair in hand, and cracks it across the face of DGS. Smith rolls out of the ring in pain. Citizen now turns his attention to Kazama, who is back on his feet. Kazama throws a punch, but Citizen hits him with the edge of the chair.

          Joe Citizen grabs Kazama by the hair, and thrusts him into the barbed wire ropes. Kazama kicks and squirms in pain as the barbs tear at his skin.

          Lillehammer: Jensen’s on his feet again, he’s got another one of those chairs!

          Sean Jensen slides into the ring. He carries with him a barbed wire chair. Jensen and Citizen look at one another, and then both motion to Kazama. They both lift up their chairs, and smash Kazama across opposite sides with the barbed wire chairs.

          Phoenix: Good lord! A barbed wire con-chair-to! Kazama has been busted wide open! Jensen and Citizen grab onto Kazama by the shoulders, and lift him up, and plant him right into the barbed wire!

          Kazama lands chest first on the barbed wire ropes. He tumbles head first out of the ring, clutching his head and chest. With Kazama dealt with, Jensen and Citizen stare each other down. Before either of them can make a move, a hand reaches for Joe Citizens foot, and pulls him out of the ring. It’s Jeff Watson, who is brandishing a barbed wire baseball bat. Citizen stares Watson in the eyes, before Watson thrusts the bat into his face head first. Citizen is down outside the ring, and Watson slides into the ring.

          Phoenix: WHAT A SHOT BY WATSON!

          Lillehammer: It’s no coincidence that Watson and Jensen are the last two in the ring. Watson waited until there were less people, he hung back until the right moment to strike.

          Phoenix: That’s hardly becoming of someone trying to become hardcore champion. Jensen swipes with the chair, but Watson dodges. Now Watson charges with the bat.

          Jensen writhes in pain as Watson rubs the barbs across his face. Watson has a big smile on his face as blood starts to pour from Jensen’s forehead.

          Lillehammer: Look! DGS is back in the ring! DGS grabs Watson from behind, belly to back release suplex! Watson goes flying!

          Joe Citizen storms back into the ring from the outside. Along with him, we see a board that has been wrapped in barbed wire. He lunges immediately at DGS, ramming him head first with the large wooden rectangle.

          Phoenix: Citizen again looks to be targeting DGS over other targets.

          Lillehammer: He’s playing the long game. DGS is the former champion, of all the men in the match, he’s the most determined to win. Citizen is smart for taking out The Black Star like this.

          Citizen lays the board out on the ground, but is rushed from behind by Sean Jensen. Jensen goes for suplex, but Citizen hooks his leg, and won’t budge. DGS quickly joins Jensen, and they get Citizen up on his feet. Citizen flips over the two men, but lands standing on the other side of the board.

          Phoenix: That didn’t work! Citizen charges at them with Double clothesline to DGS and Jensen! What the-

          Lillehammer: Watson from behind! Ever the opportunist! Watson with the school boy pin!


          Lillehammer: No! The champ kicks out! He’s back on his feet, and he’s hopping mad.

          Watson is seated, backing up toward the ropes. He quickly realizes he can’t go back any further. As Citizen approaches him, he raises his hands, even tries to call a Timeout. As Citizen advances, Watson goes to kick him in the groin

          Lillehammer: Low blow- caught!

          Phoenix: Violent headbutt by Citizen crumbles Watson! DGS is back on his feet! DARKFIRE! DGS catches Citizen with an STO! Jumps... drives both of his feet into the champion's chest!

          Before he can make another move, Watson brings him down with a swinging neckbreaker. DGS rolls himself out of the ring, and Watson goes to make the cover again.

          Phoenix: COVER!


          No! Citizen kicks out! Sean Jensen has now gotten to his feet. He’s got the barbed wire chair, and he’s brought it over his head. He cracks Watson across the skull, and Watson goes down.

          Lillehammer: That could be a concussion! Christmas came early for me, I guess.

          On the outside we see DGS try to roll into the ring, but David Maverick pulls him back out. Maverick swings at him with wild left and right hands. We also see that during his time outside the ring, Maverick has set up a table that has been wrapped in barbed wire.

          Lillehammer: Is there anything out here NOT wrapped in barbed wire? I’m just glad they didn’t barb wire our desk.

          Phoenix: Maverick goes for a suplex onto the table, but DGS refuses to let himself be lifted. He fends off Maverick with a chop to the chest, and a stiff forearm. Maverick is momentarily stunned, and DGS uses that opportunity to try to get back into the ring, but Maverick grabs his leg again to pull him back out again…

          Lillehammer: Wait! That’s Ozzy!

          Phoenix: Ozzy’s on fire with rights and lefts into the face of Maverick. Maverick’s covering up. Ozzy lifts him up!

          Lillehammer: Woah!

          Phoenix: He just deposited Maverick through the table with an Exploder Suplex!

          As Ozzy triumphantly heads towards the back to chants of “Holy Shit” Jensen flattens Watson with a closeline.

          Phoenix: Back in the ring, Sean Jensen is putting the boots to Jeff Watson. Jensen connects with a standing leg drop!

          Watson scrambles for the ring apron, desperate to get away, and tries to crawl under the barbed wire ropes. Jensen grabs him by the hair, and starts to pull him to his feet.

          Lillehammer: Watson’s panicking!

          Phoenix: Watson drives his elbow into the chest of his opponent. Jensen moves out of the way, Juice Box Kick! Watson tumbles out of the ring and into the shopping cart! He’s been imbedded in barb wire!

          Phoenix: Thanks for coming, Jeff Watson! What the- Trey is back!

          Trey Spruance has made his way back into the ring, and has brought with him several boards, wrapped in barbed wire. The boards practically cover the ring now, and the hardcore icon is careful to watch his step as he enters.

          Phoenix: Citizen is back on his feet, he’s been busted open.

          Lillehammer: This is crazy!

          Phoenix: Trey kicks him squarely in the chest, and goes for The Dude-o-plex, but Citizen sneaks off his shoulders-

          Before Citizen can capitalize, Jensen is back on him with a with a barbed-wired kendo stick.

          Phoenix: Jensen connects with a kendo stick clothesline that brings the champion down. Trey gets back on his feet, and they both lift Citizen up to his, into a two-man suplex onto one of the barbed wire boards. It’s a Misfits reunion!

          Lillehammer: I think I’m going to be sick.

          Phoenix: Trey Spruance and Sean Jensen working together again! Trey picks up one of the barbed wire boards, and leans it up against the ropes.

          Together they pick up Joe Citizen, and drag him toward the board

          Lillehammer: Those filthy misfits!

          Phoenix: Get over it Robert! Citizen connects with an elbow to the face! Then again with a chop to the chest of Trey Spruance. Citizen’s got the bat, and he’s swinging for the fences now!

          Lillehammer: Yes!

          Citizen drives the barbed wire into the face of Sean Jensen, who has started to bleed. Trey grabs him by the hair, trying to save Jensen, but Citizen picks up Tray instead, nailing him with the V.R.O. Trey’s body lands on a heap of barbed wire and wood.


          The bloodied face of Sean Jensen rises from behind him. Jensen grabs Citizen from behind, and drives him over his head with a Samoan Drop onto another barbed wire board. From outside the ring, Matthew Kazama rolls into the ring.

          Lillehammer: Kazama is still alive! We haven’t seen him since he was taken out with that barbed wire con-chair-to!

          Kazama grabs onto Jensen, and whip him into the ropes. Jensen writhes as his skin makes contact with the dangerous wire. Bloodied, Joe Citizen rushes toward him, and tips him over the ropes, and to the ground. He doesn’t have long to celebrate though, because Citizen aims with fists toward the Silver.

          Phoenix: It should be pointed out that Joe Citizen has actually not left the ring for very long during this match. Jawbreaker by Kazama!

          Lillehammer: Yeah, but he still can lose it at any time.

          Phoenix: Remember the first person to make the pinfall or submission is the winner. Citizen is out to make himself part of that decision regardless of if it’s in his favour or not.

          Lillehammer: Maybe. Maybe he’s just stupid.

          Phoenix: Kazama working over the head of the bloodied champion with fists and elbows.

          From behind, David Gideon Smith charges into the ring, and toward them. And the men tip over the wire and land in a heap on the floor.

          Lillehammer: Gideon Smith, back with a vengeance!

          Phoenix: The two them are starting to get to their feet already. Smith distances himself! He’s going to for a suicide senton to the outside- Kazama just walloped Smith with a cookie sheet

          Lillehammer: That could spell defeat for David Gideon Smith!

          Phoenix: Kazama with a maddening series of right hands to the champ. He rolls Citizen back in. Kazama following in, 'Splosion!! Citizen hit that leaping punch! Citizen- From behind DGS DGS! Citizen turns, EDGE LOGIC! AND CITIZENS HARD INTO THE ROPES!

          Lillehammer: His arms are tangled up! He’s still up, but he’s caught!

          Phoenix: DGS is grabbing a barbed wired chair. Kazama’s on dream street. DGS, HARD SHOT TO THE GUT OF KAZAMA!

          Lillehammer: DGS throwing it to the ground at his feet. What is going through his mind…

          Citizen screams at DGS to come at him only gets a smirk from DGS, who refuses to acknowledge him.

          Phoenix: Kazama’s isolated. DGS, lifts him… HIGH! THE ESCHATON POWERBOMB!





          Lillehammer: What a war! DGS has regained the Hardcore Championship, much to his chagrin!

          Announcer: The winner of the match, and NEW LPW Hardcore Champion, David Gideon Smith!

          David Gideon Smith (4.31 APS + 0.4 vote = 4.71 total)
          Joe Citizen (4.1 APS + 0.5 vote = 4.6 total)
          THE David Maverick (3.55 APS + 0.2 vote = 3.75 total)
          Sean Jensen (3.52 APS + 0.2 vote = 3.72 total)
          Jeff Watson (3.3 APS + 0 vote = 3.3 total)
          Trey Spruance (2.88 APS + 0.1 vote = 2.98 total)
          Matthew Kazama (0 APS + 0 vote = 0 total)

          Gideon has his hand raised by the referee as Citizen tries to free himself from the ropes. Smith thinks about it, but refuses to look towards Citizen before leaving the ring.

          Lillehammer: The Hardcore division is in good hands, whether David likes it or not.

          Phoenix: What a miscarriage of justice! Citizen went to war. He took on everyone, but in the end, it was David Gideon Smith standing tall.

          Lillehammer: And here you are, once again, complaining about rules concerning a belt that doesn’t have any. Not everyone can be champion. Just like not everyone can be a winner like David Gideon Smith.

          Phoenix: DGS is the champ once again. Thank you for joining us in Utah in our first step towards Altered Reality!

          The camera catches DGS walking up the ramp, pausing briefly to halfheartedly raise the title to the sky. A ringside camera pans the carnage ending on Joe Citizen who is being freed from the wire by refs and stage hands. His eyes dripping with rage.

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          “How great the tremors will be when the judge comes."