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  • Lords of Pain Columns Hall of Fame

    Since going online in 1998, Lords of Pain has established itself as one of the most well known destinations on the internet for pro wrestling news and results. From the humorous to tragic, from house shows to major Pay Per View events, LOP has covered all things wrestling and long become a landmark source of information for fans around the globe. is, quite simply, a modern day institution for fans of professional wrestling.

    It has also, as you all know, become the preeminent source of columns that cover any and all aspects of the sport of kings. Since its very inception, LOP has provided wrestling enthusiasts with the means through which to read the opinions of fans just like them, to debate the issues of the day and interact directly with a select few writers who have had the pleasure of contributing to the hallowed (in some circles) Main Page. It has also, in a move unique to it alone, provided a "training ground" for columnists to polish their craft, build a following and establish themselves via the written word as voices worthy of being heard on that larger Main Page stage. This "training ground" is more commonly known to us as the Columns Forum.

    Since being founded as The Phat Farm by legendary IWC voice Mr. Tito, the Columns Forum has grown to become arguably the most fertile source for wrestling writing in the Internet Wrestling Community. Thousands of writers have posted their work in the forum to varied degrees of success, all with the singular mindset of simply letting their voice be heard. The majority of those writers have fizzled quickly, lacking the time or necessary drive to train that voice into something memorable. Still others have stuck around, pounded out the rough edges and have found themselves entrenched in a community that is truly like no other. An elite few among that chorus of voices have traveled on to that larger stage mentioned before and have etched their name into the books as a Lords of Pain Main Page Columnist.

    Even fewer among that lot are those who used the combined platforms of the Columns Forum and Main Page to make themselves truly memorable. Be it for their contributions via the written word or their numerous efforts in making LOP a better place to write, these select few share one common trait. That trait is, quite simply, Excellence.

    This Hall of Fame, founded in 2006 by LOP legend Valleyboy (known later on as Boss Foxx), stands as a tribute to those who built the ground that this tradition in wrestling writing stands upon. It is these columnists who inspired and encouraged those who wrote yesterday, those who write today and those who will write (hopefully) long into the future. Their voices helped define the eras in which they wrote for untold numbers of fellow fans and writers. It is the purpose of this Hall to ensure that those voices, be they ringing out to this day or long since silent, never completely fade away.

    A quick note before we move on to the inductees. Those listed here are in the order in which they were inducted over the years. The first 7 names you'll see were among the elite Inaugural Class of 2006 with the first inducted, Columns Forum founder and LOP Columns legend, Mr. Tito, having been voted upon by his peers as the Readers' Choice Honoree. It's also worth noting that later inductee, the aforementioned Valleyboy/Boss Foxx, was also bestowed with the Readers' Choice honor, only missing out on first year induction as a result of his having been the guy running the show and steadfastly refusing to allow himself to be inducted. A certain Ayatollah, who took over the reigns upon ValleyBoss' departure, quickly made right that self imposed oversight.

    Thanks for maintaining this Hall of Fame over the years should go out to the ever evolving moderating crew of Valleyboy, Random, Steve, anonymous, sheepster and Hustle. I'm sure that list will grow as time moves forward and even more names find themselves among this rarefied lot.

    All that said and done, we present to you the list of columnists who have earned their way into the Lords of Pain Columns Hall of Fame. Clicking on their names will take you directly to a post that features personalized induction speeches by fellow writers and, in some cases, words of gratitude from the Honorees, themselves.

    Last edited by anonymous; 05-05-2020, 08:12 PM. Reason: New class being added

  • #2
    Mr. Tito

    Mr. Tito

    Column Titles: Mr. Tito's Phat Daily Column, Bad Tito, Wrath of Tito, MR. TITO STRIKES BACK
    Additional Contributions: Founder of the Columns Forum, Columns Forum Moderator (2001-2005)
    Home State: Ohio
    LoP Column Debut: October 26, 1998
    Year of Hall of Fame Induction: 2006

    (Hall of Fame Induction written by Valleyboy/Boss Foxx)

    The columnist whose online handle was inspired by watching a VH1 movie about the Jackson family, Tito broke into the column game all the way back in October of 1998. After discovering by chance the website that we all lovingly refer to as “LoP”, Tito spied an announcement on the site from it's owner, Calvin “Painlord” Martin, which stated that the site was looking for a columnist to contribute to the site on a daily basis. With a fervor, his frenzied hands went straight to work... writing an e-mail to Calvin applying for the position. Tito would become part of the LoP family less than twenty-four hours later.

    While attending college that fall, Tito would write his first column for LoP on October 26, 1998. However, he needed a title for the column before he could submit it. He had already made up his mind to stick with the moniker of Tito, since he'd used that online ever since the night he heard Joe Jackson utter those famous words, “TITO! Go outside and cut me a switch!” Adding “Mr.” as the prefix to the handle, he reached an epiphany of sorts on the name. Due to his incessant use of 90's slang through high school (and now college), he opted to call the column “Mr. Tito's Phat Daily Column”... and history was made.

    Shortly after being made assistant webmaster of LoP in late 1999, Tito established a page within LoP's site that would he would dub “The Phat Pharm”. Seeking to give opportunities to aspiring columnists, just as he had been given one in the previous year, the Phat Pharm became a kind of breeding ground or farming system to LoP in seeking out new columnists for the website. The Pharm would see the likes of Mr. Jaymz and Ryan Brander's in the early stages, and it would even bring out an alternate persona of Tito's known simply as Bad Tito.

    In 2000, the Phat Pharm was removed from LoP's main site and would become a part of the LoP Forums, taking on the new, simpler name of the Columns Forum. It was here when things finally started to take off and people started to get noticed. With as much talent as was being seen develop in the Columns Forum, Tito helped bring rise to one of the longest standing traditions of the LoP Forums – the Column/Columnist of the Month. November 2001 would see the Columns Forum hand out the first ever COTM Award, which entitled the winner to have a column they had written be posted on LoP's main site.

    It was around this time that Tito found himself garnering a little bit of “heat” from WWE Superstars over his shared opinions in his columns. The late Crash Holly (Mike Lockwood), in particular, isolated Tito verbally during an online audio program over being referred to as a “jobber” and other potshots that seemed to stir up talk in the I.W.C. John “Bradshaw” Layfield also allegedly couldn't help himself either from lashing back in sorts through a WWE playing card entitled “Slandered Online”, which depicted Bradshaw hunched over a keyboard typing furiously, rumored to be a shot at Tito's columns.

    After years of writing daily wrestling columns, including a healthy streak of approximately 100 consecutive daily columns, Tito's personal and professional life forced him to scale back his writing to a weekly column in September of 2002. “The Wrath of Tito” as it would come to be known carried on though to this year with the final column in his illustrious tenure being posted on October 30, 2006.

    Now, while some may question why Tito would be inducted into the Columns Forum Hall of Fame despite never having written a single column in the Columns Forum, the answer is really quite simple. The early days of the Columns Forum are intertwined with Tito and his columns through the Phat Pharm and his moderation of the Columns Forum itself. Several columnists attribute their desire to write, and opportunities to contribute to LoP, to Tito through either his columns or through correspondence. With Tito now retired and riding off into the sunset, it should be only fitting that the LoP community would vote him in as the Reader's Choice and very first inductee into the CF HoF.

    As an added treat, here are some words of thanks from the man himself.

    Ladies and gentlemen, Lords of Pain Hall of Fame columnist, Mr. Tito.

    Thank you to the Columns Forum for this induction. It's been a great asset to LoP as a steady source of new columnists. As much as I want to avoid sounding cocky, I am, in essence, the father of the Columns forum.

    During late 1999 or sometime in 2000, I created the "Phat Farm" (later renamed to Phat Pharm as I didn't know Russell Simmons had a clothing name entitled Phat Farm) as means for grooming LoP columnists. As a big baseball fan, I appreciate a good farm system among ballclubs. Given the high demand to write at LoP, I went to Calvin with the idea and it was thus created. I wanted to give up and coming writers the chance to show their abilities before eventually receiving call-ups to the main page.

    I ran the Phat Pharm for about 2 years. Most columnists applied through me and I would give suggestions to the 10 columnists who wrote for the Pharm. When there was a spot open, I would usually forward a handful of columnists over to Calvin for review. It was a good process when I had time. When time was a luxury that I did not have, I had the Pharm converted to as the Columns forum.

    Things ran more efficiently at the Forums. I began contests for readers to determine who was the best writers and anybody could now participate (whereas before, they had to apply through me). After a while, I began to delegate authority to a trusted columnist, Stanman, who has run the forum well ever since (with assistance of other mods, as well).

    Hopefully, the idea of a farm system for potential LoP columnists has been enjoyed by both columnists and readers. I'm rather satisfied with how much an idea of mine has developed. Congrats to everyone who has had column writing success from that forum.



    • #3


      Column Title: The Wrestling Menu
      Home Country: Australia (Melbourne)
      LoP Column Debut: August 20, 2002
      LoP Main Page Debut: November 13, 2002
      CotM Wins: 1
      Year of Hall of Fame Induction: 2006

      (Hall of Fame Induction written by Valleyboy/Boss Foxx)

      2002 marked what can be considered the first “golden age” of the Columns Forum. A group of columnists from that era had started to stand out among their peers and helped bring some real prominence to the forum. Several writers from that era, including names such as Valleyboy, Wevv Mang, Raw is Snapple, and YourAyatollah, would go on to become main page contributors and mainstays for varying periods of time. There have none that have displayed the longevity, however, of one columnist in particular. That distinction belongs to none other than DaveyBoy.

      After seeing an influx of CFers rise to fame to the main page during the middle of '02, DaveyBoy was making his debut. He was quickly noticed by his peers for not only being the first Australian to really take a shine to the CF, but also to be one of the most consistent and reliable contributors in the history of the forum. Posting columns twice a week would normally burn out your run-of-the-mill columnist, but Davey seemed to thrive. In less than two months time, he would earn himself a COTM award (September '02). Not only did his writing become notable, but he also became known for doling out feedback and advice to other columnists in the CF.

      His columns have normally held a three-topic format – PPV predictions, PPV reviews, and DVD reviews. As well, he also started annual columns that he releases to this day, including his “Rookie Rankings” and “Year End Awards”, also a WrestleMania booking column which comes out just in time for the big event. Through all of these columns, Davey has managed to accumulate quite the streak of consecutive columns – posting at least one column for each week during the last sixteen months.

      In November, The Wrestling Menu would be promoted to the main page and make it's debut on the 13th. Despite a busy schedule, Davey would maintain a regular presence in the CF for as long as he was able to, providing feedback whenever possible. To this day, he still recommends the Columns Forum to readers that contact him via e-mail.

      Now, let's throw it over to the man, himself, as he makes a little speech to commemorate the occasion.

      Ladies and gentlemen, Lords of Pain Hall of Fame columnist, Daveyboy.

      Thank-you to Boss Foxx & the other dignitaries involved with the LOP Columns Forum for this induction into the Columns Forum Hall Of Fame. It is very much an honor that I am proud to be involved in.

      The LOP Columns Forum has been tremendous in allowing wrestling fans such as myself an opportunity to write columns about our passion without the pressures & restraints of deadlines & the like. Without the forum, many of the writers (including myself) would never have had the confidence & time to improve in order to eventually enable us to become current LOP main-page columnists.

      Furthermore, the forum has also enabled those who simply like to read wrestling columns an extended opportunity to get their fix if the main-page columns are not meeting their requirements, as not only is there extra quantity, but the quality has consistently been at a high level.

      Time constraints have meant that I no longer am able to provide feedback to the current forum columnists, but as Wevv Mang has stated in his earlier induction, I once did this for every single columnist for months on end. And still to this day, I will send potential writers to the Columns forum when quizzed about writing via feedback for my main-page column.

      Personally, I'd like to thank a few people. Firstly, Calvin Martin & Mr.Tito for running both the LOP main page, LOP Forums & hatching the idea for the Columns Forum. I'd also like to thank StanMan for moderating the Columns Forum for a lengthy time & also helping me out a great deal when I got started. Thanks also goes to PT2, Wevv Mang & Winter, who are all columnists that came through the system at one time or another & I think it's fair to state that in some form or another, we helped each other out a great deal.

      Finally, a huge thanks go to my readers, who are seemingly growing in number with each passing week. Your readership is extremely valued, as is your feedback, whether it be via email or through the feedback forum. Furthermore, being voted 2nd only to Mr.Tito in voting for this very Hall Of Fame was extremely flattering & very appreciated.

      May the Columns Forum continue to flourish & provide a great base for the LOP main page. With thanks,



      • #4

        AKA: YourAyatollah
        Column Titles: All About The Game, AATG One Hitter, Ask Your Ayatollah, The Power Trip (w/Random & Degenerate)
        Additional Contributions: Columns Forum Administrator (2007-present)
        Home State: Texas
        LoP Columns Debut: February 2002
        LoP Main Page Debut: 2002 (First Run), 2005 (Second Run), 2010 (Third Run)
        CotM Wins: 7
        Year of Hall of Fame Induction: 2006

        (Hall of Fame Induction written by 1,000,000 BC)

        As a former main-pager, four-time COTM winner and King Of The Columns winner, it's safe to say that Your (and my) Ayatollah is one of the most decorated columnists to grace the CF in it's history. Now that it appears the "really, real world" as he would so astutely put it has seemingly stolen him away from us, it's only fitting that he join the elite and take his rightful place in the CF Hall Of Fame.

        Clicking on "All About The Game" came with few guarantees. You weren't guaranteed to have a "fact" crammed down your throat by a closed-minded fan writing out their own self-absorption. You weren't guaranteed to be condescended to like a child who knew nothing of the wrestling world. You weren't guaranteed to have your own thought processes tested. You weren't guaranteed to be told... anything really.

        The only guarantee was that you'd get an opinion, prefaced as such, written in a relaxed, at times even sedate, manner by somebody who actually understood what the fuck they were talking about. You would receive safe refuge from Meltzer-wannabes that want to sound smart, or even "smart", and get straight talk from someone who didn't necessarily have beliefs, but was never stingy with his ideas, even when it came to something as divisive as music.

        In a world of people trying to live on the wrong side of the guard rails, Ayatollah provided a message that it's okay to enjoy the show for what it is, that analysis, much like he would later refer to himself, was infact itself "overrated". All About The Game, by design, was not a regurgitation of the Observer, but rather the open honesty of the dude next to you on the couch going "I bet Matt Hardy gets a ton of pussy backstage".

        He doesn't, by the way. At least not according to The Torch.

        YourAyatollah, as a columnist, has provided many with a great deal of entertainment through his words. However, for me at least, he's provided much more than that. He's been a supportive reader, an inspiration and an... I don't know what. I don't think there's a word for it, unless Webster's has got one for a guy who'll debate you at five in the morning over how much Corey Haim's tooth would be worth at auction or whether or not Kimmy Gibbler (the character, not her portrayer) grew up to become a lesbian.

        I'd like to think "friend" might apply, but I refuse to consort with anyone who acknowledges Haim as the superior Corey.

        Hell, the dude talked me out of quitting before I even actually even got anywhere. I can safely say had he not intervened, for better or worse, my own CF legacy would have ended long before it did. And for that sin, he was sentenced to co-sign his name to the "BC Screws TNA" series, albeit under his alter-ego "The Antichrist Superstar", author of "The Pulpit". In just another example of his dedication to the forum, or perhaps just competitive spirit, he simultaneously wrote as himself on the main page while attempting to win a record fourth COTM here in the CF.

        Still, writing a column alongside such a terrific columnist was a personal highlight for me here in the CF, even if up until now, nobody knew it was him. I think that's what separates Steve from most who pass through this forum. Instead of pursuing the unattainable status of "internet celebrity", he actually took an interest in the forum itself, going above and beyond the call of duty to make the CF the best it could possibly be. He wasn't satisfied to reign atop an anthill, even if he'd still get the same crown.

        And the fact that he did most of this on the technological equivalent of a toaster makes it all the more impressive.

        In all sincerity, and the fact that I need to preface it as such is testament to how rare that is, I'd like to finish by saying on behalf of the entire CF, past, present and future, I thank you, Steve. For everything.

        Ladies and gentlemen, Lords of Pain Hall of Fame columnist, Steve.

        Wow, the Hall of Fame. I must say, this is pretty kickass. I’d like to thank Valleyboy for finally bringing this long talked about project to fruition, and everyone who had a hand in getting me here. An extra special thanks for inducting me before Random.

        Seriously, though, this is a pretty big deal, to me at least, and I greatly appreciate it. I’ve been around this place for over 5 years, now, and have seen it grow from just another message board into a full fledged community. If you’d have told me all those years ago that I’d still be here, let along in the select first class of the HoF, I probably wouldn’t have believed you. As it is, it’s hard to believe that my name appears here before those of Stanman, Blazing Phoenix, and the afore mentioned Valleyboy, guys I damn near idolized in my first run here.

        I’m in, though, so I’ll take it and be happy. I can’t list all the people who have made an impact on me during my time here, but there are a few I’d be remiss to leave out. First, Calvin for inviting me here, and the afore mentioned Stan for keeping me here. I’d also like to thank Random for being the first real friend I made here, Morph for being the best real friend I’ve made here, and BC for…..well, for being BC. I can’t think of much anybody I’d have rather had induct me, and it’s very much appreciated. That said, Feldman rocks ass on Haim, and always will.

        You know, I was just looking back at my list of accomplishments and stuff, and I must say it’s pretty awesome to have been, for at least a few years, the most decorated columnist in this place’s storied history. The CotMs, the KotC, and all that were great compliments from my peers, to say nothing of the ultimate compliment of having been invited to join the LoP main page, and I’m very proud of what I’ve done in my time here.

        That said, I’m more proud of the things I’ve done that have no number or public pats on the back attached to them. I’m proud of the fact that I helped talk guys like Dredg200, Random, Morpheus, and BC into staying when they told me they wanted to quit so early in their runs. I’m proud to have been the reason that Cavalou came back here, bringing along with him Sandman and Monkey, as well as the fact that Zuma’s first post on this forum was a vote for AATG as CotM. I’m proud of the fact that Valleyboy, who has done more for this forum, hands down, than anyone, has told me that I’m one of his favorites. And I’m proud of the conversation I had with Random, where I told him that he and the CF as a whole were better than the Main Page, partly resulting in something called The Project popping up and making waves a few weeks later.

        I still believe that, by the way. Despite the fact that the MP is now stocked with most of my favorite writers, guys I’m proud to have called peer, friend, and inspiration over the years, the CF is still, in my opinion, the single best resource for wrestling writing on the net. Any contribution I’ve made towards keeping that true over the years, that’s what I’m most proud of.

        And that’s it in a nutshell. I’m overwhelmingly pleased to be named among this select group, but I encourage you to remember that I nor anyone else here is bigger than the Columns Forum. It’s been my voice for the past half decade, and the voice of countless others. Here’s hoping that it never falls silent.

        Thank you, again, to everyone who helped me get here. It’s one helluva coda to an incredibly fun run. That said, I’m not entirely sure I’m done quite yet. Until we see what lies around the bend, take good care yourselves out there in the really real world. Much love, kids.




        • #5
          Wevv Mang

          Column Titles: Ridin' With The Bossman, Reality Blurred
          Home State: Arizona
          LoP Column Debut: Late 2002
          LoP Main Page Debut: October 24th, 2003
          CotM Wins: 1
          Year of Hall of Fame Induction: 2006

          (Hall of Fame Induction written by Valleyboy/Boss Foxx)

          The Wevvster has been a fan of professional wrestling for a very long time, perhaps longer than any known LoP columnist... due in no small part to being one of the oldest columnists to grace Lords of Pain. His devotion to the sport has not been unwaivering, however, as there was a period of time where his fanaticism died down during the mid-90s thanks to what he considered (along with many other fans) to be some very sub-par feuds taking place.

          His love for wrestling was reborn though when a friend of his lent him a tape of WrestleMania 14 and also seeing the nWo running rampant in WCW. Those two things sparked his interest once again, and the off-the-wall storylines and antics were what kept him hooked. As a fan of cheesy movies, Wevv has often displayed an affinity for the entertainment aspect of wrestling more so than the sports aspect. It was this affinity that also inspired the title of his column, “Ridin' With The Bossman” - a ridiculously over-the-top feud between then WWF Champion, Big Show, and #1 contender, The Big Bossman. The scene of Bossman riding the Blues Brothers car through a cemetery, while towing the coffin of Big Show's father behind him with Big Show desperately straddling the coffin to keep it from getting away, was a scene that burned itself into Wevv's memory.

          After registering with the LoP Forums, his very first post was his debut column. While even he will attest that his first outing as a columnist was less than stellar, he persevered. Early on in the Columns Forum, he contributed two columns a week – a Raw review and a Smackdown review. Following those contributions would be “Wevv's House”, which would later evolve into “Kane's House” and has become practically a staple of his identity with LoP. Not only that, but he also wrote a Lord of the Rings parody entitled, “Bossman of the Rings” that was well received during it's time in the CF.

          All this being said, far be it for me to take up all the time to exalt Wevv in this induction when he can very well do it himself. So as an added bonus, here's Wevv Mang with a reasonable facsimile of an acceptance speech.

          Wevv, take it away.

          Ladies and gentlemen, Lords of Pain Hall of Fame columnist, Wevv Mang.

          Thank you. It is a great honor to be inducted into the Columns Forum Hall of Fame. Like many, I made these forums my first step into the greater world of the IWC. My first ever post on a message board was a column. It was a valiant effort, but was not good. I learned the most important lesson about column writing. Nothing sets the critics like bad grammar. And mispellings. And making sure the coding works. Punctuation. Yeah, that's important. And giving feedback. Yeah.

          Nine months and 76 plus columns later, I made my mainpage debut. Three years later and the Columns Forum is still a vibrant, thought provoking, cauldron of productive thought on wrestling, and what makes it tick. What makes one a fan.

          Regretably, there are many names I do not know. The names I climbed the ranks with, well, some of the bastards changed their names, so I have no idea if it's the same person. Optimus? MEhnes316? Helix? Stej?

          Some of them have been called up, like Xan, Chad Matthews, Random, and Pt2.

          But I still see people waiting to get their shot. Waiting to spread their word. My advice? Don't give up. Keep writing. It takes time. Volume and consistency count too.

          Now, as they try to hook me, and drag me offstage, I'd like to thank a few people.

          I'd like to thank Davey Boy, who was called up shortly after a posted my first column. Much like Boss Foxx, AKA Valley Boy, he was the godfather of Columns Forum at the time. He helped me immensely. I would also like to thank Tito, for inspiring me to write in the first place. My thanks go out to Valley, Zuma, and Random, Xavier, Xan, Aedeton, and Morph, for forming the Columns Forum posse a few years back. AKA The First Project. I'd thank Monkey, but it's not like he ever comes around here anyway.

          So, have I gone over the limit for acceptance speeches yet? I have? What's the record?

          I'd also like to thank some of the new generation of Columns Forum regularsand those that help promote the Columns Forum. Like Al Boo Boo, my Team Jaimaca partner. He reminds me of a young Zuma. Which makes perfect sense. Big Brother who reminds me of a young Random. And Boss Foxx who reminds me of Valley Boy. And BC, who reminds me of a young Tom Zenk.

          Now, back in my day, did you know that Valley was considered an old vet, even way back then? His Memmy awards were and still are hilarious.

          TINA ALI!

          Sorry, I just rememberer her name. I had been trying to think of it, while writing this out. Did you know she was recruited by TNA? Yes, the actual wrestling company, to help set up their forums? They don't have them anymore, but she was like the the first big TNA supporter. Awesome writer. Top notch, and a great person too.

          This one time, some of the boys came up with this crazy idea for Writer Mania. Kind of like an e-fed, but with column writers. Heh, we were supposed to have dueling promos, and I wrote this promo about her tits. I think I called them "delicious bag of jiggly paradise". I can't remember, it was a long time ago. I do remember that the damn fed never got off the ground, and Morph stiffed me on my payout. I made that territory dammit, and I never saw a dime! But I still respect you booker Morph.

          Huh? What's that? Get off the stage? Show some respect you damn punk! I was writing columns when you were still in high shcool!

          You're still in high school? GET A JOB!

          HEY LET GO OF ME! I'll wrap this up. Promise.

          Thank you all for nominating me. Without you, the reader, the audience, the motivation, there is no reason to write.

          Thank you.


          • #6


            Column Title: Enter The Dream Realm
            Location: The Godforsaken Island of Long
            LoP Column Debut: August 22, 2004
            LoP Main Page Debut: September 4, 2005 (First Run), 2008 (Second Run), 2011 (Third Run)
            CotM Wins: 4
            Year of Hall of Fame Induction: 2006

            (Hall of Fame Induction written by Zuma)


            He’s not only a Columns Forum legend, but he’s also a Metal Loving Motherfucker. I feel honored to be inducting Morpheus, or M as he referred to himself and was known in the CF, into the Columns Forum Hall of Fame. M is someone who I not only respect as a fellow forum dweller, columnist, and man, but someone that I’ve come to call a friend. In this case, I don’t feel like I’m using this term loosely. I’m going to invite you to sit back, relax, and let me tell you about this guy that I had the awesome opportunity to come to know thanks to

            Morpheus burst onto the scene very quietly, but intently. He left some feedback, and then suddenly, he posted a column. Now, as most of you know, the first column put out by someone has a tendency to suck. Well, this man put out a column that was not only polished, well written, and superbly organized – it also had some of the most kick ass graphics I had ever seen in ANY column. He’s really the only guy I have EVER seen do what he did. The first column could have been the fifteenth. He had the whole thing on lockdown right from the get.

            The Columns Forum had been sent under the spell of the Dream Realm, and it would never be the same. Enter The Dream Realm not only was something fresh, but it brought a whole new level to the forum. This column, and this man, would usher in what came to be known as the “second golden age” of the CF. Morpheus was such a presence in the CF that he because the de facto “leader of the CF”, and was looked upon a lot like the commander of the troops. He was instrumental in bringing about what was a great time in the forum. M was a constant presence in the forum, and was a “feedback writing machine” before anyone else was given the nickname. One thing I always remember about him was his constant determination to actually make people better writers. The other part that was cool was his constant mentioning of the feedback train. He made sure that EVERYONE knew the way this place worked, and typically led by example. One thing I do remember well was that he could give this feedback that at times could be really behind someone, and yet, still have this awesome flame about the guy’s writing mixed in there somewhere waiting to be discovered and LOL’d at. Yeah, I just made up a word. So what…

            This guy absolutely took the forum by storm. We’ve seen some people come in and be a big timer right from the beginning of their career, but I can honestly say that I have never seen anyone do what he did. Nobody can say they’ve seen a bigger feat accomplished in this forum, and I’ll fight ‘em if they say they did. Morpheus won the Column of the Month competition November of 2004. He then went on to win the Column of the Month honors for December. No one in the history of this forum had ever won that award back to back. Then… that red-headed Meatloaf lookin’ motherfucker went and won it a THIRD TIME! Yes… he’s won it three and a row and it wasn’t like it was because people wanted him to win. There was fierce competition, amongst friends of course, to unseat this guy. I was there, and I was a part of it. Moreso though, you had guys like the Hall of Famer – Xanman – busting tail alongside some quack named Valleyboy and future Main Pagers YourAyatollah, RandomGuy#5 (who’s put behind Ayatollah just to piss him off for making me look up M’s stats) 1,000,000BC, RIPBossman, and Big Brother. Not too shabby a lineup, considering Stinger, Adeaton, Leviathan, and some Mexican who doesn’t matter were considered “N3wB5” at the time. You throw in Monkey, Cavalou, Xavier and Helix, and you’ve got a veritable who’s who of CF Cult Classics running around the place and this guy destroyed us all. FOR 3 MONTHS STRAIGHT! The fourth month he actually rested, and let someone else win it. XanMan still appreciates it, I’m sure.

            It’s been my pleasure to be the guy that’s had the chance to induct Morpheus in the Columns Forum Hall of Fame. I’d also like to thank him personally. If it wasn’t for his constant egging of the guy he liked to call the “Column-less Columnist”, I’d probably not ever written my own column. I loved reading the columns, but didn’t ever think I’d manage to write one. He suckered me into it, so – to all that haters… blame Morpheus. To everyone that was there, I remind you of one of my all time favorite Morpheus feedback sprees. “Drop the Time”, kids.

            Stay Metal, Motherfucker.

            Ladies and gentlemen, Lords of Pain Hall of Fame columnist, Morpheus.

            Yes, yes, everyone. Allow me to take this moment to apologize for that. Zuma writing columns was my bad. Sorry. Right now I feel like Bruce McCullough on Kids In The Hall apologizing for causing all that cancer. I don't know which was worse…

            All kidding aside, it is indeed an honor to have been inducted in the inaugural class of the LOP Columns Forum Hall Of Fame. After years of reading guys like Tito, Phantom, Snapple, Dumass, J-Train, DubZilla, Wevv, pt2, and especially DaveyBoy, I decided to head to the forum and check it out. 2004 was the year I found my way in here, and was introduced to this little world and a lot of the people who would become great friends over the ensuing years. Out of all the great writers who have come through these hallowed digital halls, it is humbling to be considered up there with the best of them. Truly an honor.

            [ORTON POSE]A well-deserved honor, mind you.

            I posted my first column on August 23, 2004, just two days shy of my 25th birthday. A few short months later I won my first Column of the Month competition in a heated "November to Remember" contest against my two Revolution collaborators, Stinger and Adeaton. As Zuma mentioned, the train kept rolling, and I picked up the COTM in December and again in January. First back-to-backer, and only 3-in-a-row. At that time, this tied YourAyatollah for a record number of COTM wins at three. A record which took three years to establish was tied in under six months. No rest for the wicked awesome.

            What Zuma, in his grotesque negligence, didn't mention was that at this time, I was also competing in Winter's Weakest Link competition in his Main Page column and won the right to post a fourth column on the Main Page, which was my reason for "resting" as he put it. You're welcome, Xan.

            Also during this period, we had the 3rd King of the Columns competition, which came down to Morpheus vs. Random. I of course dominated him in the final round, handing him his proverbial punk card with a side helping of shame. As you are all aware, I'm sure, a couple of years down the line Random and I went on to collaborate on the single greatest audio wrestling podcast in the history of the ever: Monday Night Countdown.

            My first tenure as a Main Page columnist began on September 5, 2005, and ended on August 25, 2006 as a result of massive computer failure mixed with a bit of internet suckage. Happy Birthday to me! The MNC continued to dominate for another year and a half before real life finally caught up to both Random and I. My second tenure as a Main Page columnist began on August 25, 2008 and lasted about two months because the monthly deal I had worked out with Skittlez was never run by Calvin, and drama ensued. Fuck Stittelz, or however you spell it.[/ORTON POSE]

            Anyway, that's more than enough bragging and history. Fact is, Zuma mentioned the Second Golden Age of the Columns Forum, and that's exactly what it was. People have credited me with that over the years, and I don't know how true it is, but I am honored to have been a part of it. I made some awesome friends during that time who continue to be good friends to this day. Too many to name really, but I would be remiss if I didn't tip my hat to Monkey, Stinger, Random, Zuma, and Steve-atollah for being some of the most righteous friends I've had in my sad thirty years on this rock.

            It's good to come back here and see so many new faces bringing the rock and old ones keeping the flame alive. The CF is hands down the best place in all of the interweb to hang out and interact with people who don't suck. Glad to see that tradition continue.

            Thanks once again for the honor, and sorry it took me four years to accept it. I'll be quicker next time, I promise.

            Oh, and Zumz, Boyd's column was called "Drop the Dime," not "Drop the Time." Stoner.

            Long nights, and pleasant Dreams, people. Stay Metal.

            Monsignor Morpheus Classic the First, Ph.D.


            • #7


              Column Titles: The Northern Star, Putting The X In Wrestling, Excuse The Aggravation (with Double Helix), The X-Change, 7 Things I Think I Think
              LoP Columns Forum Debut: July 2003
              LoP Main Page Debut: September 4, 2005
              CotM Wins: 3
              Year of Hall of Fame Induction: 2006

              (Hall of Fame Induction written by Valleyboy/Boss Foxx)

              If you've ever seen the ship's wheel greet you when you first clicked on a column by the name of “The Northern Star”, you're probably quite familiar with the articulate styling of LoP's own Xanman. Xan has been writing columns since mid-2003 after being inspired by former LoP columnist, Blazing Phoenix, and his column entitled “Out Of The Ashes”. After reading Phoenix's column, he decided that he too wanted to become a main page contributor on Lords of Pain. Since there was only one place to start out on his path of column writing, he wrote his first column in the LoP Forums. It was called “Putting The X In Wrestling” and detailed a loophole of sorts with the WWE title returning to the Raw brand for a unification match. The column laid out a scenario in which Xan believed this could be made possible.

              Like most columnists, his start was a bit rocky in terms of reader response. His talent and potential were quite evident though in his first columns, and after receiving some advice from the likes of Rick Stallion, Double Helix, and Dubzilla, he continued to write and continued to improve. His column output increased as well, writing two columns a week. One was a review of Raw, the other a review of Smackdown. These columns each would start off with a brief intro on the roster for the show and then delve deeper into that the respective shows went down. After a while, Xan would add another section once a week entitled “The X-Change”.

              Eventually “The X-Change” would become a separate column for a brief period with Xan teaming up with his cohort, Double Helix. This tandem was so well received that Xan came up with a concept to keep them paired together in columns. That concept would be known as “Excuse The Aggravation” and after debuting in December of 2003, it would become one of the most widely popular collaborative columns in CF history.

              His previous column, “The X-Change”, was handed over to his friend Winter. Winter would then turn that into “Winter Takes All” and move on from there. Meanwhile, Xanman's solo efforts in column writing had already evolved into a new format that is what we have all come to know as “The Northern Star”. This column, along with all of his other exploits in the CF, would finally earn him a spot on the main page in September of 2005. Before heading off to the highest echelon of LoP's columnists though, Xan would earn a COTM award in February 2004 with Double Helix and “Excuse The Aggravation”. On top of that, “The Northern Star” would fetch him two more COTM wins – February and July 2005.

              After his long overdue arrival on LoP's main page, Xan continued his presence in the CF by his contributions in “Excuse The Aggravation” and other periodic columns, as well as provided some very astute feedback to aspiring columnists from time to time. It is with little surprise that a columnist of Xan's stature would be one of the very first to be recognized by the LOP Columns Hall of Fame.

              Ladies and gentlemen, Lords of Pain Hall of Fame columnist, Xanman.

              It is weird to be writing this so many years after first being inducted. I think about all the guys who were around when I started. Guys like Pt2 (now called Prime Time, and who I once thought of as Part 2 until we chatted and he corrected me,) Dubzilla, RickStallion, SteJ, Wevv Mang, and, of course, my long time collab partner first in The X-Change and then Excuse The Aggravation, doublehelix. My first column was almost like a Star-lite and then I went on to write Putting The X In Wrestling, which combined reviews with opinions on other parts of the product, at helix's suggestion. This was before there was the restriction of not posting a column more than once every 3 days, and I would review RAW, Smackdown, and the weekly TNA PPVs when those were still a thing. That burned me out kind of quickly to where I eventually started writing The Northern Star regularly and then an X-Change with another columnist once every couple of weeks or so. I do consider myself to be the pioneer of collaborative columns. I think Fact or Fiction had existed before The X-Change, but that featured 4 or 5 columnists all answering the same questions, not a debate format, and I'm positive that ETA was the first regular collab column. It was also the column that won me my first Columnist of the Month award. Working with helix was the most fun I have had writing columns; I wish he hadn't stopped watching wrestling and we had kept that an ongoing thing. It was such a fucking blast. There were other people I wrote it with when he had computer issues like Julian Phoenix and Random Guy #5 (Random and I even did a couple of audio versions before podcasts were a thing,) but it was never as great with those guys as it was with helix.

              Making the main page was the goal when I first started writing, and I almost quit a few times when guys kept getting promoted ahead of me, but then I got there and didn't like it. It wasn't like it is now where people can comment right on the columns, so maybe I would enjoy it more now, but back then there was hardly any feedback and no discussion. I think I stopped writing after about 6 months up there, but I can't say for exact certain. Then in late 2008, I returned and wrote a couple of columns and Skitz asked me to rejoin the Main Page. I hadn't even intended to return to writing regularly, but was so flattered that I accepted. There still wasn't a lot of feedback available, but I had so much to say that I wrote daily for a time up there. It was a lot of fun for about 9 months and then I felt like I was empty of opinion, so I quit again and didn't really watch wrestling much after that. When I came back again in 2012 with a Star entitled "Don't Call It A Comeback," people like Missouri Dragon and CoLd replied with things like, "This is how it's done." and Shinobi sent me a PM that ended with, "Welcome Home."

              I've since gone away and come back, even having two stints on LOP Radio and showing up there from time to time on special occasions, but yeah, this is home. I love it here and I'm so proud to have been one of the first ever Hall of Famers and to be considered a legend by many. I won't promise I'll always be around, because I know that has never worked out, but I'll probably always comes back here, and I hope when I do I will have such people as I have been honored to call "friends" though I have never actually met them still be around, as well. When I did this time, YourAyatollah, my once rival and now probably oldest friend here, was still kicking ass and taking names, anonymous, Shinobi, Triple R and Prime Time were still around; and Degenerate had just returned. Oliver is here, as well, which is also comforting, and Skulduggery also returned to take part in the latest tournament. Even that crazy ass Skitz is here stirring shit up.

              Robert Frost once said, "Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in." Sometimes I have to go here to cleanse my mind, and it's such a comfort to know it will always be here for me, and old friends are just a few clicks on a keyboard away.


              • #8


                Column Titles: Let It Snow, Winter Wonderland, The Amalgamation, The X-Change (created by Xanman)
                Location: Nottingham, England
                LoP Column Debut: August 2003
                LoP Main Page Debut: March 2004
                CotM Wins: 1
                Year of Hall of Fame Induction: 2006

                (Hall of Fame Induction written by YourAyatollah)

                If you spend enough time around this place, you begin to notice that something or someone truly original only comes along once in a great while. Between the early days of Tito imitators, to my era when folks seemed to want to try the “no gimmick” gimmick, I’d say that about 75% of what we see is derivative of something you’ve seen before. That’s not a knock on anyone, or even necessarily a bad thing. It does, however, make it stand out all that much more when something fresh, or dare I say groundbreaking, pops up.

                Winter was one of those few, both fresh and groundbreaking. He wasn’t the best pure writer you’ve ever seen, which makes it all the more remarkable that he was able to accomplish what he did. See, Winter was one of the first around here to figure out that it’s not so much what you say as how you say it. You could write the most boring, insipid rhetoric in the world, but if you say it with that intangible smirk you’ll get people talking.

                And that, most likely, is Winter’s legacy. He got people talking like nobody before or since. He was the single most controversial and divisive writer this forum has ever seen, hands down. At one point there were two or three guys who wrote about nothing but Winter. Stop and think about that for a minute. They weren’t writing about differing opinions or how off base he was on a given subject, they wrote about him. About his devising nefarious plots from the throne of his ice palace atop a frozen mountain. And that’s not a joke, kids, that taken from an actual column. In my opinion, if you can elicit a response like that off of a wrestling column, you got to be doing something right.

                Ol’ Chilly did a lot of stuff right. I could sit here and list off his various accomplishments, but space is limited so I won’t. If you want to rundown, he’s more than happy to tell you all about it. Just another part of his charm. No, I’ll leave the rundown of accolades to Valleyboss and just tell you the important stuff. This place chugged along just fine for a couple of years, but it wasn’t until Winter showed up that this became the Columns Forum we all know and love today. Winter brought more people to this forum than anyone had before him, and he lorded over it like no one has since, all before he graduated high school. On a personal note, if it weren’t for wanting to see if I could knock off that cocky British kid, I wouldn’t have come back in ‘03 and gathered all the sparklies in my own trophy case.

                In short, he was arrogant, he was divisive, and he was never boring. He was the first true “superstar” of the CF. And above all else, he was an original, completely unique unto himself. Thank god, because that at least means we’ll never see another like him. Unless we can talk him out of retirement, that is. That notwithstanding, it’s my pleasure to induct into the CF Hall of Fame the one, the only, straight from his Ice Palace in Sherwood Forest, Winter. Congratulations, man. Or, should I say, cheers.


                • #9
                  Valleyboy / Boss Foxx

                  Valleyboy / Boss Foxx

                  Column Titles: Selective Memory, Selective Memory Version 2.0, The BMF Show, The Boss Report
                  Additional Contributions: Columns Forum Moderator (2002-2003 and 2005-2007)
                  Home Country: Canada
                  LoP Columns Forum Debut: 2002
                  LoP Main Page Debut: May 11, 2002 (as Valleyboy), July 26, 2006 (as Boss Foxx)
                  CotM Wins: 1
                  Year of Hall of Fame Induction: 2007

                  (Hall of Fame Induction written by YourAyatollah)

                  Reader’s Choice is a pretty cool title to have tossed at you, if I do say so myself. Take a look back and you’ll see that the first guy to earn that title was Mr. Tito, arguably the most well known non-dirt sheet IWC columnist ever. As much as I respect Tito and all that he was able to pull off, I honestly feel that Valleyboy deserved it more.

                  I know that those are heavy words, and I don’t mean any disrespect whatsoever to Tito or the folks who voted for him, of which there were many. Hell, the dude pretty much invented the Columns Forum, and provided the template for how columns would be written here for two or three years. Fuck, man, the guy hasn’t even written in more than a year, and you still see Tito ripoffs on a fairly regular basis. All that said, though, Tito was never really a large presence in the CF community. Valleyboy, on the other hand, calls to mind an old catchphrase. He is, was, and most likely ever will be THE presence in the CF.

                  I’ve been around here for a long time. So long that there’s not a single person posting a column today that was writing when I first beebopped my way through the door. Save one, that is. Valleyboy was one of the guys I aspired to when I first came here. As has become his M.O., he wasn’t the most flashy or ballyhooed guy in the place, but he always flew under the radar with writing that maintained an insane level of consistency and quality. If you clicked on Selective Memory back in the day, you were pretty much guaranteed, quite simply, a good fucking read.

                  I’m somewhat in awe of the fact that that has never changed in all these years. After his first call up to the main page in 2002, he just got better. After making a triumphant return to the CF after a lengthy lay off and upgrading to Selective Memory Version 2.0, he just got better. After laying in the cut for a while, slowly turning competitors into diehards, he comes out with the Memmys and, say it with me now, just gets better. And after all that success, all those years spent ingratiating himself as an indispensable name among the CF greats, he goes and buries Valleyboy to become Boss Foxx. And yeah, he just got better.

                  I said this in the afore mentioned voting thread, but I’ll gladly repeat myself here. Valleyboy is the reason I’ve come here for years, and is the only person I’ve run across whom I genuinely look up to. If I had a Columns Forum hero, it’d be him. Hell, I do have a Columns Forum hero, and it is him. Nobody, bar none, has had the overall impact on this forum that Valleyboy has, and nobody, at least in my personal experience, is as dependable for whatever you may ask of him. You ask this dude for help with something and, if he’s able to do it, it’s as good as done. I know, I know, he’s a mod and that’s his job, but dude was like that long before he had any stroke around here. Bottom line is that Valleyboy is just a good fuckin’ guy.

                  Whatever you wish to call him, be it Valleyboy or Boss Foxx, there’s not a name on this list that more thoroughly deserves induction into this Hall of Fame, which he, incidentally, is also responsible for seeing to fruition. I’d say that it’s a travesty that he didn’t get in here last time, but knowing him, he probably disallowed it. That’s just the kind of guy he is. An exceptionally talented writer, a master of reinvention, a damn good guy, and, my personal favorite, a friend. It’s my pleasure, nay, my honor, to induct my Main MotherFucker, Valleyboy, into the Columns Forum Hall of Fame.

                  See, I made it all the way through without once bringing up that whole, “Is Valleyboy gay?,” thing from a few years back. Oh, wait. Fuck. Sorry dude. Congrats, anyways.


                  • #10


                    Column Title: Stanman's Wrestling AfterThoughts
                    Additional Contributions: Columns Forum Moderator (2002-2007)
                    Location: Chicago, Illinois
                    LoP Columns Forum Debut: Early 2002
                    LoP Main Page Debut: August 2, 2002
                    CotM Wins: 1
                    Year of Hall of Fame Induction: 2007

                    (Hall of Fame Induction written by YourAyatollah)

                    Within the confines of this Hall of Fame, you can find the names of the most decorated, groundbreaking, and popular columnists in the Columns Forum's history, as well as those who laid the groundwork for what this place has become today. From guys like Morpheus and Xan, who won a buttload of accolades and set the bar that much higher for all who had the good fortune to share the place with them, to guys like Tito, who created the palette on which countless columnists have plied their artistry of the written word.

                    Then you've got a guy like Valleyboy, who not only rose from the ranks of the CF to main page glory and stuck around the place long enough to become a fixture, but also gradually became the glue that held the place together through his sage advice and tireless moderating duties. As has been stated previously in VB's induction, few have had the impact of the Boss on the Columns Forum over the years. Matter of fact, only one man can claim to have carried anywhere near the weight of our Foxxy friend, a man who not only likewise rose from the CF to the main page, but also held down the moderating duties in this Forum for years. That man is Stanman.

                    Stan's mantra, in my estimation, was to lead by example, and that he did. He didn't have to "crack down" on anyone or use his stroke to get things done, he simply made sure shit was running smooth and, along the way, continuously pumped out one of the best columns of it's time, Stanman's Wrestling AfterThoughts, more popularly known as SWAT. After getting his start in early 2002, it wasn't very long before Stan had established himself as one of the heavy hitters of the forum, a role that he seemed to take with at least some degree of seriousness, as he was known to provide a kind word and helping hand to new arrivals who sought him out as a guiding light.

                    The CF, and LoP in general, were quite different back then, as there were far fewer columnists and a generally much quicker road to the main page for those who displayed the required talent. Still, the fact that Stan wrote for fewer than six months before both winning CotM, (in May of 2002), and rising to join the main page ranks, (in August of that same year), is no less remarkable. While SWAT was never really hailed as the best thing going, it was very much one of the most solidly written and consistent columns of the day, and it is without a doubt that Stanman more than earned his place in the "major leagues".

                    Perhaps even more remarkable than his rapid climb up the LoP Columns ladder, though, was his quick ascention to becoming kingpin of the whole joint. When The Valleyboy stepped away from both his main page column and his CF moderating duties in mid 2002, Stan was tapped as the one to join Mr. Tito as, if you'll pardon the pun, the Man around here. He would hold the title of moderator of the Columns Forum for upwards of four years straight, eventually climbing up the ranks of power to become not only the dominant mod of his chosen forum, but an Administrator for the board as a whole, a title he still holds to this day. As a matter of fact, his role as a mod in the CF lasted a good couple years longer than his time as a main page writer, a position he somewhat abruptly gave up in November of 2003.

                    As such, Stanman's legacy in the Columns Forum will likely be as the dominant moderating force during this place's first half decade of existence. During this long tenure, he undoubtedly had a massive influence on how the CF evolved over the years, and he will long be remembered by those who care about such things as the guy who erected a solid structure upon the foundation laid by those before him. Anyone who has used this forum as their creative outlet since mid 2002 owes Stan a debt of gratitude, as it most likely wouldn't exist in its current incarnation were it not for all that he did along the way.

                    However, let us not forget that Stan was also one hell of a columnist, and that his influence through writing had just as large an impact on those who were fortunate enough to be under his indirect tutelage as did his overall impact through various other works. There are some, or at least one, among the names in this Hall of Fame that most likely wouldn't have gotten this far were it not for having felt that impact. For that, this writer thanks you, Stan, for leading the way.

                    It is my honor to announce Stanman as the latest inductee to the LoP Columns Forum Hall of Fame. Very few have earned it as much as he, and one must sincerely doubt that many more ever will.


                    • #11
                      Pt2 / Prime Time

                      Pt2 / Prime Time

                      Column Title: Take up thy Wrestling Boots and Walk, History of the Monday Night Wars
                      Home State: Leicestershire, England, UK
                      LOP Columns Forum Debut: May 2002
                      LOP Main Page Debut: April 2004
                      CotM Wins: 7
                      Year of Hall of Fame Induction: 2007

                      (Hall of Fame Induction written by Xanman)

                      When I first started writing wrestling columns in late 2003, the next inductee was already there writing. He hadn't been doing so for very long, but he was already starting to establish himself as an excellent writer and a paragon of integrity. The month before I took up what has now been an up and down, storied, some say legendary career--what's that? Oh, I'm supposed to be putting the other guy over, not myself? Yeah. I was getting there. I have the floor. Sit down.--Pete won Column of the Month, and yet he turned it down because he didn't receive the most votes. doublehelix actually defeated him, but because he didn't vote he was ineligible. Pete didn't want to win by a loophole, so he refused to accept what he had technically earned.

                      As it turns out, he never won a COTM; not because he stopped being great, but because the competition got fierce. There was a kind of new renaissance in the Columns Forum at the time with the influx of such writers as TV Dog, Winter, tinaali, SteJ, sheepster, Random Guy #5, and probably a few others who are escaping my mind at the moment. When you add those to Wevv Mang, Dubzilla, Rick Stallion, and the aforementioned helix, you're talking about a tremendous talent pool in which it was nearly impossible to pick a winner each month. Pete and I had similar styles, though he certainly wrote with more humor than I ever did and he had just as much flair as someone like Winter while bringing the content each and every time out, so it was no surprise that he got the call to join the Main Page in, I believe, April of 2003 to replace Jim Forzese, who also had a similar style and was fired for cause.

                      He soon became a main page force in what was truly the golden age of column writing here at LOP. Sure-fire future main pagers down in the forums, while Winter (who moved up around the same time,) Tito, Wevv, and others were tearing it up on the main page, yet the best read week in, week out was Take Up Thy Wrestling Boots...and Walk. Even when Pete couldn't post weekly, his columns were almost always thought-provoking and often I clicked on LOP just to see if he had a new column up. That became even more of an imperative for me when he came up with the "You Be The Booker" concept, which allowed forums members and regular readers to take a shot at booking possible angles. At first Pete would be the guest host and one of his non-forum friends would be the judge, but after awhile Random and I traded the championship back and forth and the three of us became a triumvirate of judges. I think the two of us also proposed storylines, though I could be mistaken on that; it was quite a while ago.

                      I left LOP late in 2006, as I just wasn't cutting it as a writer anymore. I was having a hard time being a fan of wrestling, but that didn't stop me from keeping up with Pete's columns. He was someone who I always clicked on when I saw something new come up and it was sad when he posted with less and less frequency, less and less urgency, until that day that he finally decided to place his pen on his desk and give up the wrestling writing game. One thing that a lot of the newer forums members don't know is that Pete was, himself, once a professional wrestler for four matches until he was injured so badly that he could never do it again. I doubt there are any wrestling fans out there that can say they never even contemplated a career in the ring, no matter how humorously. Pete, my friends, actually gave it a shot and the business chewed him up quickly and spit him out. But, did being forced to hang up his wrestling boots embitter him towards the sport of kings? It did not; at least not forever. He wrote about it and wrote about it and wrote about it.

                      Pete's younger than me by quite a stretch, but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been in awe of him, hadn't been proud to take advice from him, to be mentored if only a short while by him, and honored to have written beside him in the forums and later on the main page of the greatest wrestling news site on the planet. Pete is my friend, and while I'm sorry to say we lost touch over the years, part of me will always regard him somewhat as a hero, and I'll always be grateful for the kind words he gave me when I was starting out and the opportunities he gave me when I'd yet to make my way onto Why don't you all stand up, doff your caps, and be a gracious audience as Pt2 takes up his writing boots...and walks into the LOP Columns Forum Hall of Fame.

                      Ladies and gentlemen, Lords of Pain Hall of Fame columnist, Prime Time.

                      First of all, I’d like to say thank you for the honour of being inducted. I know that sounds like the kind of thing that we have to say, but I look at the names I’m up here with, and in many cases they are the people that I was trying my damnedest to be as good as.

                      I suppose I’m a little surprised by this. I was only an active poster – as in, posting the majority of my columns – on the forum for a little under a year, while most of my time here was spent on the main page. That people think in that time, and subsequently, I’ve made a valuable contribution that is worth recognition is definitely flattering.

                      When I first got here, there were only a small number of columnists writing regularly that actually lasted beyond around ten columns. Double Helix and Dubzilla jump immediately to mind, pretty great writers whose kindness to me when I first started out helped immensely. With their help, I like to think I got the hang of this.

                      Soon after though, more and more quality writers starting joining the forum – people like TV Dog, and SteJ. A lot of these people stopped posting after a board reset, but momentum was definitely growing. Soon after, that original group would be supplemented by some people whose names may be a little more familiar – Winter joined up with a Tito-esque style of getting in peoples face to get things talking. Not long after, Xanman, Random Guy, Sheepster, Tinaali, and probably 20 people I am forgetting all joined up, and I was pleased to be a part of that group that seemed to make the forum an exciting place to be, a place people wanted to be.

                      Now I was never a superstar of the forum. There have always been better writers than me. There have always been funnier columnists than me. There have always been people with a more original structure, or people who’ve been better at courting controversy than me. What I can say, is that I think I could make people think, I was usually pretty current, and I was also consistent. For people only familiar with my long absences, they’ll be surprised to learn I was the model of consistency back then, earning myself the nickname Cal Ripken. It was almost certainly the nature of the forum that led to that consistency. There was definitely a healthy element of competition about it all, wanting to show that you could hang with people who could do things like that with words.

                      I’ve been pleased to stick around and see the other generations of columnists come through here, and see that although we all talk of our individual golden ages, its actually something of a myth. It may not be my generation anymore, but given time this place always manages to find a group of people writing and sharing their work in such a way that makes it something pretty special to be a part of

                      Thanks to everyone who ever played YBTB! That brainchild of mine is still knocking around the forum these days, and though it may never get back onto the main page, it’s good to see that it at least captured the imagination of some people.

                      Thanks to the people in that first group of columnists, especially to Wevv Mang, Double Helix and Dubzilla. If you all hadn’t been so welcoming and willing to help people learn, I certainly wouldn’t have posted another 72 columns here.

                      Thanks go to Random and Xan, Stej, Sheepster, Tinaali and the host of others who came afterwards – both for the friendships that were fostered here, and also for the challenge of raising my game to be anything like as good as you. I hope it was as good for you as it was for me.

                      Thanks to Morpheus, BC, Zuma, Monkey and the gang that really did come after. I’ve been in and out of the columns forum since heading up to the main page, but there’ve been guys like M and Zuma who remind you how good this stuff can be if you put the time into it, a lesson that I found sometimes well remembered on the main page, where you don’t always get the sense of community you get in here.

                      Then there’s the guys who came before – Valleyboy, or Boss Foxx, whichever you prefer, and YourAyatollah. Both were here a long time before I started posting, and then disappeared for a while. Their return of both led to some of the best columns I’ve ever read. Both have been very complimentary to me over the years, which is incredibly flattering, as for me you can make a case for either being the best we’ve ever had in the forum.

                      The most recent – thanks to everyone involved in US vs. UK. Being a judge on that was fun, and it’s good to say there is definite talent still knocking around.

                      Lastly, I’d like to thank Davey Boy, without whose recommendation, support, contact and friendship I wouldn’t have begun writing, or maintained it for as long as I did.

                      Thank you to you all – and to the hundreds (literally) of other people that I’ve interacted with in my stint here. You’ve been the best, which makes it all better, because without you all it would have been pointless.


                      • #12
                        1,000,000 BC

                        1,000,000 BC

                        Column Titles: Tuesday Night Tension (TNT), BC Does..., BC Screws..., Extremely Readable, Write My Column, far too many more to mention
                        Home State: Florida
                        LoP Column Debut: 2003
                        LoP Main Page Debut: Late 2005
                        CotM Wins: 2
                        Year of Hall of Fame Induction: 2007

                        (Hall of Fame Induction written by TEH MONKEY)

                        I've been given quite the privilege today as I get to induct one of my favorite writer's to ever emerge from this site, but also one of my biggest influences. While I could sit here and talk about his statistical accomplishments, I think by doing so you'd be missing the point. B.C. didn't write for accolades, he simply wrote as a creative outlet. He was always one of those guys not afraid to put anything in writing; whether pushing the envelope of good taste for the sake of a joke or simply telling someone the brutal truth about their own writing. While some may have took such comments as harsh and the words of an asshole, B.C. approached things with a different motive. Don't reward mediocrity because doing so stunts growth. That's the biggest thing I learned from working with him. Everybody sucks at first, and it's because you try too hard to emulate others you've read. Even when you feel you've improved and you work hard at it, you still suck. It's only when you stop caring, that you start to shine. Don't fear repercussions, just write whatever you are about and let that shine through.

                        That's what B.C. was a master of, he wrote for himself first and foremost. Perhaps that is what is even more impressive, the fact that he created such a rabid following amongst his peers all while staying true to his initial vision. He's one of those guys that would post a column and you didn't even want to post yours in the same week because it would simply look foolish in comparison. The combination of his extensive knowledge of both mainstream and Indy wrestling combined with a twisted sense of humor led to some of the best columns this forum ever saw. Whether it was his "BC Does WWE", "BC Screws TNA", "Extremely Readable" or even his "Write My Column" series he proved time and time again that their truly wasn't anything that he wasn't capable of.

                        On a more personal level me and him became pretty good friends along the way. I even had the pleasure of "writing" about 10-11 collaborations with him over time. It was with these pairings that I learned just how talented and funny the guy was. We'd bang out these epic 20,000 word columns in literally 2-3 hours because our interactions came so natural. There would be more words edited out of our columns than would even be in my solo stuff. Were they simply exercises in self-indulgence? You bet your ass they were, but we loved every second of it. It was with these columns that I learned to truly just turn off the filter and let the craziness happen.

                        I guess that was B.C. in a nutshell, pure unfiltered and unapologetic madness at it's best. Having been there for the ride though I wouldn't change it for the world. So whether you love him, hate him or simply love to hate him you still have to give it up. While it may be cliche as hell to say, I'll do it anyway. Some people deserve their own "wing" so to speak when it comes to the HOF, and I promise you things will never be the same. So let's welcome the Big Cat and the only man whom I'd ever call my soul mate (yes homo) to this prestigious place amongst the LOP elite. B.C., you got to the dance and you did so on your own terms.

                        Welcome home. Now let's get wasted and make some Zuma jokes.


                        • #13

                          The Monkey

                          AKA: TEH MONKEY, Skip Rogers, YEKNOM, Dr. Monkey, Dr. Cockmilkalicious, etc.
                          Column Titles: The Eyes of a Monkey, The Eyes of a Blog, various others
                          Home State: Virginia
                          LoP Column Debut: Fall of 2002
                          LoP Main Page Debut: Feb. 2009
                          CotM Wins: 3
                          Year of Hall of Fame Induction: 2010

                          (Hall of Fame Induction written by Mazza)

                          Dr. Monkey, Doc Monk, THE MONKEY, Dr. Cockmilkalicious, Roger Murtaugh and even Mazza, this guy has had more AKA’s than Sean Waltman, and that is only in the short time that I have been here, but whatever forums user name he is using, you can be guaranteed absolute quality whenever he posts.

                          When I first joined up to the forums and started writing columns towards the end of 2008, Monk was on one of his hiatuses but it was not long before he popped up in the columns forum and immediately took charge. The first work that I read of Doc’s was a “What If” series on what would have happened had the screw job gone the other way and Shawn went to WCW whilst Bret stayed with Vince. The picture that was painted in that series was unlike anything else I had read. I remember thinking it was like I was actually there, watching it all unfold. I also remember greedily asking him to continue that series. I would have been happy for it to be a 50-parter that was still going on today. But of course, if that did happen, I would never have realised that his column writing skill-set was a lot broader than just one style.

                          The first-person perspective piece is really popular these days in the forums, and whether it is about Brian Pillman, or even the squared circle itself, nobody can pull it off quite like Monk. You finish reading and immediately want more, and then when he finally posts again, you click on the Eyes of a Monkey link, only to find that comedy is also a big part of his arsenal when he goes into Skip Rogers mode.

                          In 2009, Doc was on top of his game and when he took his column daily, it just got that much better for his fans. It was a sad day for the main page when he stepped down but fortunately, just a couple of months later, he came back to his open spot and the quality of columns on LOP is all the better for it. Here is hoping he is once again around to stay for a while because everyone who fancies their chances at being a column writer, myself included, will learn a hell of a lot just by reading Eyes of a Monkey.

                          Doc, it is been an honour to induct you into the LOP Columnist Hall of Fame, where you will be able to rub shoulders with the best, as it is truly where you belong.

                          No homo.

                          Ladies and gentlemen, Lords of Pain Hall of Fame columnist, MONKEY.

                          It's definitely a surprise to have such a honor bestowed upon me, as over time I've perhaps been my own harshest critic. That being said I feel it most important to recognize how I got there but more importantly who helped me along the way. First and foremost the duo of Cavalou and Sandman, without those guys I never would have come here. They turned me on to the whole idea of writing about wrestling and thus my first run was born. I was lucky, while my first stretch of columns weren't bad per-say they were very straight laced; yet I had guys like Daveyboy, Steve, and Wevv Mang to help show me the ropes so to speak. Literally three of the most prolific writers this site has ever seen help me build the foundation. Them along with the above mentioned duo of Cavalou and Sandman as well as Dropkick Marty helped inspire the majority of my early writings. So even though it would take me a little longer to fully put together the pieces these guys gave to me, I still feel I owe them all a huge debt of gratitude for giving me the drive to continue.

                          I was forced into hiatus a little bit due to lack of internet but when I came back I was smack in the middle of another boom. Some new faces and some familiar faces that were on the rise now. Guys like Adeaton, B.C., Cavalou, Morpheus, Random, Sandman, Steve (Ayatollah), Stinger, Xanman, Zuma were taking the CF to new heights again in terms of sheer quality. It was during this run though that I created the concept of trying to humanize my columns, in the sense that I wanted the reader to feel that they were reading the writings of a person rather than just words on a computer screen. It was around this time that I posted one of my best received columns ever, "Justin's Eyes" which ultimately won me my first COTM. Those were fun times and one of the closest knit groups we had in the CF for a long time as everybody was like a big family. Yet again I took a break from LOP, this time though it was to focus on a website me and some friends had started.

                          That brings us to the present. I came back in 2008 after a good couple of year break from writing columns and found that the landscape was very different again. Though I was very intrigued by the thought of a fresh start and a chance to hopefully win over a new audience. The idea was simple, to take the things I'd learned from the dozens upon dozens of columnists whom had given me advice and helped me and create something that would hopefully transcend genres. While I don't ever claim to be the best at anything I do like to think that the people whom have contributed directly and indirectly have helped me to at least be pretty good at practically any type of column I try. It's for that I'm the most grateful.

                          While I could sit here and try to pretend that this was all my doing, the fact remains that more columnists than will ever be aware have been a huge part of my writing. Every time I see somebody raise the bar of creativity I know that I'm going to have to try all the more harder to make my presence felt. Rather than sit here and name about a hundred people and still miss guys I'll simply say this; if you've ever read my column or I've read your column, or if you've talked to me on messenger or PM; just know that part of this recognition belongs to you. I literally couldn't have done it without you, even if it goes against my character of saying so; know that it's true.

                          That being said, where the fuck is the beer; because I know I'm going into the river tonight.



                          • #14


                            AKA: helix
                            Column Titles: Helix > Angle, Excuse the Aggravation
                            Homeland: in poop
                            Columns Debut: 2003
                            CotM Wins: 1
                            Year of Hall of Fame Induction: 2010

                            (Hall of Fame Induction written by an incredibly talented, unbearably manly man, who also happens to be helix's biggest fan... doublehelix)

                            When Your Ayatollah asked me to write my own induction, I was, at first, taken aback. Write my own induction? Huh? My own induction? Induction? Me? My induction? Huh? You want me to write my own induction. My induction, written by me? Huh? But he is my Ayatollah, and his title begets his wisdom, as I realized that no one really knows the true story of doublehelix and writing columns on the internet. About me, there are only five truly established facts:

                            1. In June 2003, Pt2 won Column of the Month but refused it because I got more votes but due to either an internet failure or a computer failure, I forget which, I didn't vote. So, technically speaking, I've never won Column of the Month on my own (officially...more on this in a bit), which is like making the Baseball Hall of Fame with neither a home run nor a strike out.

                            2. In February 2004, I did co-win Column of the Month writing Excuse the Aggravation with my alter ego, "The Human Xan". More on this in a bit.

                            3. Somewhere around this time, Randomguy #5 held the first King of the Columns Forum tournament, and I won, which I think caused Winter to have a mild stroke, because, let's face it, me winning was stupid. Or so he would think. More on this in a bit.

                            4. In summer (???) 2009, I made a return after a prolonged hiatus and wrote a bunch of dumb crap. I think that's all that needs to be said.

                            5. If you aren't down with Roger Ebert, I will fight you.

                            That's a whole lot of blank space to be filled, and I'm the only one that can truly fill it, given the tendency of my fellow old-timers to take extended breaks of their own. So, though it may seem indulgent, I am left to tell my story. It begins, like all good stories, with a motorcycle.

                            I was in Big Dave's Chopper Shopper, sometime prior to WrestleMania XIX, looking for a ride to call my own. Making small talk with the owner, Big Dave, he tipped me off to his Wrestling Menu. People, writing words on the internet? I was intrigued and intimidated. I grabbed a pen and began scribbling some thoughts. What do you think, Big Dave? "This is good. I would encourage you to post in the Columns Forum." Thanks, Big Dave. I'll take the red one.

                            I kicked down the door to the ol' CF, shades on, motorcycle on my shoulder. I surveyed my surroundings. This would be too easy. And it was. I started writing my columns under the title "A Helix is Better than an Angle". They were silly, lighthearted affairs intended for the entertainment of children ages 4-8. Unbeknownst to my new colleagues, however, I also began writing The Forzese View, under the name Jim Forzese. Before long, both titles had, officially or otherwise, won Column of the Month. I took it as a sign to broaden my horizons. I am nothing if not ambitious.

                            I took 5 of the next 7 CotM's, writing under various titles, including Rick Stallion, Quadriceps, Stej, and Sheepster (the Sheepster you see posting today is, like Andrew W.K., quite literally not the same person you would see in 2004). But foreshadowing events to come, I also won under the title "Tinaali", as a couple named Tina and Rick--my first stab at writing a solo collaborative column. During this time, I had also debuted my premier alter ego, The Human Xan. Before long, "we" had debuted Excuse the Aggravation, and in February 2004, gave the moniker doublehelix its first true CotM victory. After a solid year of constant writing, I needed rest. My reputation is that of a lazy, sporadic writer. In truth, I was the busiest of them all, and a break was well deserved. I wrote only sparingly, and I say in all honestly that I was none of the Column of the Month winners from March 2004 thru October 2004, inclusive. The next three, under the name of "Morpheus", were all me.

                            During this stretch, I began to bring to life my greatest creation--dare I say . . . my greatest incarnation? Dubbed "1,000,000 BC", a name designed to evoke returning to the core of column writing, I would, over the many years, subvert many expectations as I established a new standard of creativity, and with some later assistance from a character named aisce (not me, although Kraze was), did more than anyone to overhaul the perception as to what a wrestling column should be, in both form and function. Many have wondered, is BC dead? In jail? Where did he go, exactly? Rest assured, he is quite well. He is I.

                            When "BC" achieved prominence, I began to feel my mission was complete. I continued writing under a variety of titles, and created a handful of new ones, but for the most part I was content to sit back. At one point, I began mulling over a permanent retirement, and began tutoring my Chilean lover, Uncle Joe, in my craft. I opted not for retirement, but I am proud of his work. His application of my methods is wholly commendable.

                            Since then, I've rested on my laurels. I hope this information is useful to you understanding me, unless you are also me.

                            And from the legendary doublehelix, we go to the man himself, doublehelix.

                            The reason I am a huge liar is because I have a bad memory. I'm not very good with people and accomplishments and that kind of thing. Until I checked the Column of the Month log, I had no idea when I started writing and no estimation of when I'd taken an extended break vs. when I just wasn't writing very much. So if anyone is interested in factual, sober observations on the seven years of stuff that's happened on this forum (AND YOU SHOULDN'T BE), I'm sorry to say that I don't have much to offer you. I don't remember who showed up when or everyone who made up the various phases in forum history or whatever. Keep that in mind when I fail to mention everyone on the laundry list of people I should be mentioning.

                            I started writing here sometime before WrestleMania XIX. The only reason I remember this is because DaveyBoy was my introduction to wrestling col......umns?? and I sent him a few timid emails asking for advice on how to make my own without them blowing. One of these contained a sample that I later used in my debut column about how Kurt Angle's broken neck could be a good thing. Seven years later, Kurt Angle is a crazy drug addict who wrestles for one of the most unbearable wrestling promotions I've ever seen. Oops.

                            My early Helix > Angle columns were probably shitty. I don't know, because they're long gone unless Ayatollah digs them up, but most of the stuff I wrote that I re-read is shitty, so I'll assume it only gets worse further back. That said, I apparently impressed a few people, accomplished my main goal of making people laugh (I believe Monkey, in particular, said some very nice things about the humor of my first column, and I can't overstate how happy it made me. I'm very insecure.) Over the months, I'd almost kind of, sort of won a Column of the Month, caused Wevv Mang to piss himself by calling A-Train "carpet man", and basked a bit in my own glory every time someone said I should be winning tons of CotMs if only I wrote more frequently. (Like any good narcissist, I like to believe my failings aren't just due to, y'know, failings, but squandered talent.)

                            After a while--I don't know when--Xan approached me to write a PTI rip-off about wrestling, called Excuse the Aggravation. Xan and I had basically zero interaction prior to this, although I think we both held each other in high regard, and I think the only reason he asked me to write the thing with him was because I could be the clown to his more serious analysis. It didn't take long before I realized he was probably funnier than me, and also smarter, and I had to stay on his good side if I wanted to ride his coattails to glory (glory being the respect of maybe a couple dozen people). Xan is probably the closest to a friend I've had on this board, and I owe him quite a bit. I always admired his ability to write good, serious columns--like I said, I'm deeply insecure, and don't like to talk about things without bailing myself out with a bad dick joke, in order to cover up and poor thinking or writing. ETA was a lot of fun to write, and for a large chunk of time, the only reason I continued to watch and in any way enjoy wrestling. A kind word from Xan about a column I've written means a lot to me, more than any other individual. He is also a 49er and A's fan.

                            I should also say I stuff about BC, who I also hold in very high esteem. If Xan was my email pen pal, BC was my dick jokes on AIM buddy. I don't know where to begin with BC, except to say I outright envy him. He was creative, smart, and witty in ways I only pretend to be now. Every dumb thing I write nowadays is me trying to impress BC or make him laugh, even though he's dead or something. Even though he showed up well after I started writing here, I can safely say he was more influential on me than anybody else on this forum. I hope he isn't dead.

                            I think Xan and BC are the big two, but I should also give shout-outs to Random (who was also a buddy), Tinaali (ditto, also a helpful banner maker), TV Dog (ditto again), Uncle Joe (my new dick joke on AIM buddy), aisce (who I didn't interact with that much but liked quite a bit), Dubz, Pt2, ValleyBoy/Boss Foxx, the aforementioned Wevv and Monkey, Ayatollah and like a million others who made "posting wrestling columns on an internet forum on-and-off for seven years" seem like it wasn't a colossal waste of time. I really wish I knew where to start but it would just go on forever. I remember asking one former main pager to help Xan and I format our CotM-winning ETA for the main page, and I can't remember who, but thanks for that, guy.

                            Anyway, this is going nowhere and is way too long, but I thought I should say some REALLY SERIOUS WORDS about some people I like. If you've ever been at all entertained by any of my shit, you have them to thank. And I hope you have been entertained by some of my shit.


                            • #15


                              Column Titles: Struggle For Power, BaD News, The Power Trip (w/YourAyatollah)
                              Additional Contributions: Columns Forum Moderator (2010-2011)
                              Home Country: Puerto Rico
                              LOP Columns Forum Debut: July 15, 2005
                              LOP Main Page Debut: July 15, 2007
                              CotM Wins: 4
                              Year of Hall of Fame Induction: 2010

                              (Hall of Fame Induction written by anonymous)

                              First of all, I’d like to say that Degenerate is one hell of a good writer. Definitely in the top 3 Puerto Rican writers that LOP has ever seen. His columns were always well thought out, well written and thoroughly engrossing. Even though there was an unusual amount of homo-erotic Shawn Michaels love put into each one, he still managed to entertain on a regular basis, and he was one of the few must-read columnists the main page has ever had. A lot of people like to criticize the columnists' work on the main page. Some are overly controversial; some are bad with their grammar and spelling; some are just ridiculously inconsistent in their quality. Degenerate was never any of those things. He was one of the best and most revered writers in main page history. Obviously, we didn’t tell him that (in fact, we often told him the opposite), but the truth is that he was a huge asset to the main page. He’s still missed badly.

                              But I don’t care about that Degenerate. I only wrote the above to satisfy those who want to hear about Degenerate the columnist. I’m sure he’ll mention the history stuff in his speech. However, the Degenerate I want to talk about is Degenerate the man.

                              When we first started talking, I think I annoyed Degenerate a little bit. This 16-year-old Welshman obsessed with sex and alcohol was probably a bit too much for a big, serious and mature Puerto Rican. Not to mention the fact his IQ was probably double mine. The fact I called him “jenny” for the first month or so of knowing him probably didn’t help either. He probably thought I was the scum of the earth and didn’t deserve his time and attention. He was probably right.

                              But as the columns forum moved on and I became a more prominent feature, Degenerate (now called “genny”) and I got to know each other a little better. And despite the fact we have barely anything in common, we somehow just clicked. I suddenly discovered that this serious, strong exterior which Degenerate was famous for, had a brilliant interior which I’d never seen (no homo). This guy was funny, honest, hugely self-depreciating and modest. More than that, he was a guy who legitimately cared about the other guys on LOP. For me, that was a huge deal. It’s rare you find someone online who cares about anyone else. It’s even rarer that you’ll find a guy who’ll admit to it.

                              For me personally, Degenerate has been an inspiration. Not just as the excellent column writer who entertained me for years. Not just as the Moderator who helped us sleep at night, knowing our beloved message board was safe in his hands. Degenerate has been an inspiration because he’s always been around when the columns forum and main page have been through some of their darkest times. More than that, he’s been around where individuals in the forums have been through some of their darkest times. And in all those circumstances, he’s been an unmovable rock who’s made the place better for us all. He hasn’t changed at all. His honesty and modesty have remained the same throughout his time at LOP and he’s still the first person I’d go to if I had a problem on the forums. He’s also probably one of the first I’d go to if I had a problem off the forums. I class Degenerate as more than just another forum member these days. I class him as a friend. And it’s an honour for me to induct him into the Hall of Fame.

                              Ladies and gentlemen, Lords of Pain Hall of Fame columnist, Degenerate.

                              Wow. When I was informed that I would be inducted as part of the Columns Forum Hall of Fame, my initial reaction was "Yeah, stop joking." When assured that I was, indeed, going to be part of this prestigious group of columnists, I just couldn't believe it. When I started writing columns here five years ago, I never thought that I would be part of the Hall of Fame. Well, that mostly had to do with the fact that there wasn't a Columns Forum Hall of Fame back then. But even if there were, I never thought I'd be a part of it.

                              Ever since I wrote my first few columns in these forums and saw the response that I was given in the two weeks that followed, I sincerely felt that I had found my home on the Internet. I've been a computer geek for more than half of my life, but for years I had never stuck around participating in a single Internet site for more than a few months. LOP had a different feel, and there was a major feel of community that I hadn't seen anywhere else. I've been here since, enjoying being helped with my writing as well as me helping out others.

                              Everyone who passes through the Columns Forum will definitely have some people who were the inspiration to make them start writing in the first place. I had three inspirations, and interestingly enough, all three are Hall of Famers themselves. I've mentioned many times before that Xanman was my main inspirations to write here. The Northern Star was the type of column I would strive to reach, as far as writing a quality column went. Not only that, but he provided me with some awesome feedback and, more importantly, motivation to keep on going. Another inspiration was Morpheus, who months before I started writing in the Columns Forum completely dominated this place, was another writer I wanted to emulate. Last, but certainly not least, was the creative mind known as 1,000,000 BC. His columns always made me say "Wow, why can't I think of brilliant stuff like this?" If any of these guys get to see this, I hope I was able to achieve a fraction of what you guys did.

                              Back then, the Columns Forum was a much more competitive environment. It took my a full year since my start to win my first COTM award, and it took me 50 columns to finally get called up on the Main Page. As an example, awards and accolades were so difficult to achieve back then that in an ill-fated three-man tournament held in the Columns Forum back in 2006, I teamed up with two Canadian columnists named CanadianKid and Big Brother, and we dubbed ourselves Team 0-90, as in between al three we had written 90 columns at the time, yet not a single COTM award between us. This competitive environment, in my opinion, made for a better Columns Forum all around.

                              Despite the competitiveness around here, we all respected each other, and in a sense we made each other better in the process. During my first year or so, I formed a bond with the aforementioned Big Brother. During that time, we both wanted the same thing: to win COTM. But although we had conflicting interests, we would help each other out, proof-reading our columns, throwing ideas around, and so on. Inspired by Xanman and also fellow Hall of Famer DoubleHelix's collaborative efforts, Excuse The Aggravation, we teamed up and brought the Columns Forum our collab called BaD News. This stuck around for a few months, and inspired a faux awards column called The Floppys, where we would honor the best of the worst. I can honestly say that my pairings with Big Brother were the most fun times I've ever had here. Big Bro, if you see this, thanks for everything.

                              It's pretty difficult to name all these people who helped me out along the way, by giving me feedback early on or simply by pushing me to become a better writer. Not only that, but I've also had the fortune to be able to become friends with some people outside of the forums. There's way too many people to mention, and I know I'll hurt someone's feelings for not mentioning them. The easiest thing I can do is say that if you ever read or left feedback for anything I wrote, or were just an all-around good person to me outside of the Columns Forum, I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart. Without readers, there would not have been the 100+ columns or collaborations I've written in my time as a member of the Columns Forum or on the Main Page.

                              I've never considered myself 'the best', or even one of the best of the Columns Forum at any point in time. If you ask anyone in the Columns Forum who their favorite writers are or were, 99% of them won't mention me at all. Hell, just look at the induction speeches of my fellow inductees before me - Not a single mention from any of them. I'm pretty sure most of them will read this and say "Who the hell is this guy, and why is he here?" However, I'd like to think that my presence here made - and will continue to make - the Columns Forum a little better. I'm sure everyone who's defeated me in a Columns Forum tournament will agree - Every single one of them eventually made the Main Page soon after their victory over me.

                              Regardless of the real reason, I'm here right now, part of a small group of the best wrestling columnists I've ever seen anywhere on the Internet, and for that I'm grateful. I'm lucky to have been able to accomplish everything that can be done here. Thanks for accepting this Puerto Rican into one of the most awesome places anywhere on the Internet.