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Fodder Cooler Talk (Romanian Multiple Choice,
Elitist Punks, Death to Twitter & More)
Howdy doody, folks. Welcome back to the column with more alter egos than Bray Wyatt - TasteMyRainbow.
So the chatter coming out of WarGames is nothing all too attention grabbing. The men and women’s matches delivered across the board, KO and Sami are still terrible best friends, Jey finally embraced the Honorary Uce, The Bloodline continued to captivate us, Theory’s recent course correcting landed him another boost, Ronda and Shotzi tanked, the Boston crowd was pissed that Sasha would rather promote weed gummies than return to WWE, and Rhea shined in all her dominatrix glory without Dom and his sleazy mullet ruining it.
Now that we’ve buzzed through this weekend’s highlights, let’s cut to the chase. Who will end Roman’s historic reign as Undisputed WWE Universal Champion?
a) The Rock
b) Cody Rhodes
c) Sami Zayn
d) Jey Uso
e) None of the Above
It’s been a frequently asked question and hotly debated topic ever since the Tribal Chief’s run as champ started hitting milestones that even The Great One never touched. Unlike when Reigns himself was the obvious successor in past years, it’s far less predictable guessing who’s gonna knock Roman from his pedestal. There’s just so many moving parts at the moment. Will it be someone within The Bloodline who turns and accomplishes the unthinkable? And while the layers of storytelling would no doubt deliver, are either Sami Zayn or Jey Uso prepared to take on that type of promotion and responsibility?
Perhaps Rhodes is still penciled in to take the title from Reigns? Should he resurface at the Royal Rumble and win, I tend to like Cody’s chances. If we end up getting Rock versus Roman however, you might as well just center the feud around family positioning and leave the gold out of it altogether. In that case, Reigns retains and holds both belts until at least SummerSlam. There’s also the significance of his days recognized as champion which stands to reach 940-something by WrestleMania; already the longest in company history since Hogan’s first reign almost 40 years ago. The closer WM39 draws, the more I feel like WWE might book Roman to retain so he can surpass 1000 days as champ. Watch Rocky’s daughter show up at Mania to aid The Bloodline. I’m just sayin’... they gave her the last name Raine for a reason.
Another name I’ve seen thrown around lately is Gunther, which is a bit far-fetched to me. Partially because he too is a strong heel character, but more so due to the attention being dedicated to his dominant reign as Intercontinental Champion. I could pose the same question about Gunther that I did Roman. I’m a sucker for the monster villain who debuts right after Mania and goes unbeaten for the remainder of the year (Umaga and Rusev spring to mind). They typically suffer their first loss to a top face 9-12 months in, and I expect things to play out the same for the leader of Imperium. Possibly to a drifting main eventer like McIntyre. Regardless, I’ve really enjoyed the body of work Gunther has put forward with Ricochet, Sheamus, Mysterio, etc. And while The Ring General isn’t above cheating, I love that he isn’t a cowardly heel who runs from a challenge. Gunther just beats in the chest of every dude who steps up to him.
Right after typing this, I proceeded to watch the seemingly fearless Aussie hightail it away from Braun Strowman on SmackDown. This doesn’t bode well for Gunther. Next week Braun will be bowling through Imperium the way Dom & Rhea did daddy Mysterio at Thanksgiving dinner.
Speaking of Rey, this man is looking like he stepped out of a time machine from 2002. I have admittedly missed the majority of Mysterio’s run since returning to the company four years ago, but switching him over to SmackDown for a solo run was a masterstroke by Triple H. Rey has some extra pep in his step these days and appears as crisp as ever in the ring. As helpful as it surely was letting Mysterio acclimate his son to the WWE style and travel, you’ve gotta toss Dominik in the deep end to sink or swim at some point. Besides, the kid is still well protected within The Judgment Day for now. It’s great seeing Rey back on the blue brand though with no strings attached. He fills a role that Jeff Hardy would be locked into right now if he was ever dependable for long enough to complete a program.
Referees are generally models of consistency, right? Well aside from AEW’s who have a habit of getting overly involved in the character work and excitement of their matches. Maybe you prefer a more modern ring official who shows some personality and isn’t a mindless drone. I for one don’t think Remsburg or Edwards should be shifting the focus off the wrestlers multiple times between bells but hey, that could simply be a “me” problem.
My biggest pet peeve when it comes to referees is actually a lot more trivial. Does it ever happen to anyone else where a ref drops down to make a count and you swear they’ve slapped the mat three times already when in reality they’re only at two? I don’t know if it’s the official’s body dropping down or their hand hitting the canvas before starting the count, but it throws the cadence off for me. Then I’m suddenly sitting there thinking “the ref just counted to three… why the hell isn’t anybody reacting to it?”. But yeah, I've lost track of how many times that’s happened to me over the years. Is this also another “me” problem? Am I taking out my kayfabe frustrations on the referees because they’re easy targets and it’s still real to yours truly?
It certainly appears to be for Chris Jericho who recently began pushing for Pro Wrestling to join The Olympics. Now like most people, I found it to be an idiotic suggestion upon first glance. I don’t dare call it fake, but we’re talking about a predetermined sport here. Then I read some of the comments which talked about said wrestling being judged on technique and the whole performance art aspect behind it, which got my wheels turning a bit as far as the possibilities. Let’s be honest though... Much of that stems from us wanting so badly for pro wrestling to be seen as legitimate with all of the other physically grueling components and skills involved. At the end of the day, we have a hard enough time being taken seriously because it’s more entertainment based than a form of genuine competition. Why subject pro wrestling to being further trashed by every real sport around the world? And on a global stage no less when keeping things niche has such a nice ring to it?
The motion for fewer Survivor Series matches and more of a WarGames influence brings with it mixed emotions for me. As overdue as the November classic was for a change of pace, I would’ve preferred to see a mesh of traditional 5-on-5 tags either headlined or bookended by a couple WarGames bangers. Why strip away the original format completely when it’s been a staple of your product for three and a half decades? All you're left with in its absence is an ordinary card, and we get that throughout the rest of the calendar year. Instead of Rousey defending against an inferior opponent for example, I would’ve much rather watched Ronda and Shayna co-captain a Survivor Series team. That’s a duo right there I’d love to see unleashed on the women’s tag division; as silent assassins with no need to cut promos. Baszler used to be a great trash talker in NXT before Vince and Rousey got a hold of her. Yeesh. I’d suggest splitting them up down the road for some MMA style faceoffs, but the banter during the build-up would be absolutely brutal. Who imagined two former UFC fighters would be in such desperate need of a mouthpiece.
In semi-related news, the women of AEW have been making headlines for all the right reasons following a successful showing at Full Gear. Jade still being greener than her bank account isn’t necessarily the best sign, but she makes up for it by being a talent who draws extra eyes and possesses the potential to transcend the wrestling business. Hence the stuff between Cargill and Bow Wow, whether you’re a fan of it or not.
Saraya made her triumphant return with a victory over Britt Baker. You can put the former Paige under a microscope as much as you want (and plenty of us have with that little search browser icon), but I thought she looked pretty fucking good for a chick who hasn’t wrestled a televised match in five years. A few of those hard bumps she took in the early going and her subsequent selling made me nervous, but I liked how Saraya seemingly grew stronger as it went along.
And oh my Jamie Hayter. I hadn’t seen much of her before last weekend and hot damn did she blow me away. While I thought the AEW Women’s Title match suffered from false finish overload, it became apparent very quickly why Khan decided to place the belt on Hayter. Shit timing for Toni Storm who was dubbed interim champ for her entire reign, only for Hayter to have the label removed mere days after winning it. Nevertheless, I like where things are heading for the division as a whole. How long until Britt turns on the other Brit out of jealousy? How long until Cargill finally loses? How long until Saraya sets her sights on a new shiny belt? And how long until Thunder Rosa comes back to injure another coworker? I’m torqued with anticipation.
Even more so for the return of CM Punk, which feels inevitable given the chain of events since the infamous All Out incident. Could The Elite trolling the Chicago crowd this week be an isolated attempt to poke fun at the elephant in the arena? Of course, but I don’t believe we see a GTS and “botched” buckshot lariat unless there’s more to the story, and there are plenty of details that we still aren’t privy to. In terms of addressing the situation, TK & Co. have been as restrictive as the compression socks that nearly killed Colt Cabana.
While there continues to be mention of lawsuits and legal action, AEW allowed time for the heat to simmer and cooler heads to prevail. And now everyone involved can start to picture the potential paydays settled out of court if the opposing parties are willing to play nice together. You want my two cents? They would’ve announced Punk’s release publicly awhile back and moved on if he were truly done with the company. There’s too much money left on the table with a potential Punk versus Omega showdown to let petty politics and a bitch fight prevent it from happening. Maybe it goes down at Revolution; maybe not until Double or Nothing. Either way, I certainly can’t envision CM Punk showing up in WWE to what - put over Austin at Mania? Yeah I’m sure that won’t have any repercussions.
You know… like the ones we’re witnessing from Elon Musk buying Twitter. 2022 has largely been dominated by the billionaire’s drama-rich crusade to purchase the social media platform, which finally happened last month to the disgust of many. Move over, Donald Trump. There’s a new top heel on Twitter. I’d campaign for WWE to bring Musk in for a brief run if he wasn’t so far out of their price range. I predict his next venture will be creating a men’s cologne that costs way too much and repels everybody except gold diggers. Otherwise that’s a major opportunity missed with a noxious last name like his.
I recall a couple weeks ago when Twitterverse worked themselves up into thinking the app would be terminated amid all the drama, yet it remains as accessible and divided as ever. I understand the appeal of Twitter and its direct connection to celebrities, politicians, etc., but I’ve never been much of a fan to be honest. Why? Because the app is largely responsible for killing the archaic message boards of wrestling sites that used to be overflowing with activity. This one in particular, which has become a virtual shell of its former self. So forgive me for being completely content with Twitter ceasing to exist, because then maybe - just maybe - business will pick back up around these parts. Doubtful, but a guy can dream. And if this counts as Twitter hate speech then I really don’t know what to tell the naysayers. Unplug me?
SkitZ_
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