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Me, Myself & SkitZ SnapChat About Playing for the Other Team

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  • Me, Myself & SkitZ SnapChat About Playing for the Other Team

    Me, Myself & SkitZ SnapChat
    About Playing for the Other Team

    Myself: …Wow, this place is awfully desolate.

    SkitZ: I believe it’s spelled d-e-s-p-e-r-a-t-e, buddy.

    Myself: Oh don’t put words in my mouth. I stand by what I said, grammar Nazi.

    SkitZ: You could post a rolling tumbleweed gif in here and that shit probably wouldn’t even load.

    Myself: Yeah because you suck at bro code

    Me: BB Code you mean!

    Myself: Well one of us has to be the asshole. And don’t call me baby. Like ever.

    Me: No, what I meant was-

    SkitZ:That you two are a prime example of why this format does me no favors? Couldn’t agree more. Seriously though, not much action around these parts. I’ve been putting the feelers out too.

    Myself: Oh I bet you have, pervert.

    SkitZ: This place is about a Don Juan and Benjamin Button away from ceasing to exist, which makes our appearance all the more apropos.

    Myself: Lemme guess... Because you’re still chasing women away? And the older you get, the more childish you act?

    Me: Nailed it!

    SkitZ: Screw both of you haters.

    Me: I for one don’t understand why there’s so much hatred between WWE and AEW’s fanbases. The general consensus 3-4 years ago seemed to be how a little competition or viable alternative to WWE would be hugely beneficial to the greater wrestling business. How another company airing on a major television network would give underutilized talent another mainstream platform to compete on. How some of the interpromotional partnerships Tony Khan was making with the likes of New Japan and Ring of Honor would kick open the forbidden door that Vince notoriously kept locked shut for years. Those are pluses in my checkbook so where does all the negativity stem from?

    Myself: Well they say the grass is always greener on the other side but, in today’s climate, it’s piss stained yellow and skidmarked from the constant shit slinging and territorial acts of defiance that occur amongst wrestling fans who feel compelled to draw a line in the sand. An imaginary line mind you because we behave like a bunch of children. Only instead of sticks and stones, these tough guys on social media are armed with nothing but blocks and tweets.

    SkitZ: What I enjoy is sitting back and watching the Twitter reaction whenever a top name leaves one company and joins the other. Quietly observing as the momentum in the wrestling industry swings back and forth. By Full Gear 2021, it felt like AEW was firing on all cylinders after adding some key pieces to their ever expanding operation. Now fast forward a year later, Triple H is manning the control panel and it sure feels like The Cerebral Assassin’s sharpened scope on the WWE product has Tony Khan a bit triggered.

    Between Vince emptying the roster and free agents fleeing for a brighter future in TK’s upstart company, AEW was absolutely the place to be. Then Hunter essentially replaces Vince which changes the game, and suddenly you have all his NXT pet projects racing back to pick up where they left off.

    Myself: How quick it went from being properly valued and utilized in AEW, to now wondering if you’ll be showcased with any type of consistency with how crowded the place has become in 2022. Which begs the question - how long before so many of these familiar faces return that WWE’s faced with the same dilemma Tony Khan is currently experiencing?

    Me: WWE has far more avenues and premium events to showcase their roster on. It’s endless!

    Myself: The pettiness between the two sides entertains the hell out of me. Like you know it kills Tony that WWE won’t acknowledge AEW’s existence. Hunter could be on his deathbed and still wouldn’t give TK the satisfaction.

    SkitZ: And three years ago, the vast majority of us were convinced Cody would never go back to WWE. Shows how much we’re “in the know”. Hunter was no doubt in Rhodes’ ear at some point, whispering about coming home and making Dusty proud by carrying out the old man’s dream.

    Myself: *cough cough*

    Me: There's no use dwelling on the past! Cody graciously booked himself right out of World Title contention in AEW, then jumped ship, and made an immediate splash en route to being positioned as the guy to dethrone Reigns later on down the road. Rhodes went to work for the opposition, increased his stock tenfold and returned to his former employer at a much higher salary. I’d say Cody’s networking and strategizing paid off handsomely!

    Myself: The American Nightmare played Tony and The Elite like a fucking fiddle. I figured maybe the initial fallout from the All Out media scrum could be the perfect storm for Omega and the Bucks to negotiate a release from their contracts and give WWE a try. It’s become evident in recent weeks however that Khan sided with his co-founders and is in the process of sending Punk’s ass packing.

    SkitZ: Or does TK keep Punk locked in to prevent an opportunity for him to resurface in WWE? Even if it jeopardizes locker room morale and creates more friction?

    Myself: I feel it’s more likely Punk gets bought out and opts to stay home, rather than give WWE a second chance to do right by him. While Triple H running the show no doubt makes working there more appealing to most wrestlers, do you really believe CM Punk is one of them? Can Hunter even trust him to go with the flow and not put the company in a compromising position?

    SkitZ: Yeah, Vince has already fucked them over enough in that department paying off his mistress(es).

    Me:I wanna see a photo of this mystery lady who conned the great Vince McMahon out of 3 mil! She sounds like a real cutthroat businesswoman!

    SkitZ: Ooooh since you brought it up, we’ve gotta talk about Saraya and her healed neck joining AEW as an ACTIVE COMPETITOR. She’s really following in Danielson and Edge’s footsteps, risking life and functioning limbs to wrestle again. Will the acquisition of Paige be the shot in the arm that Dr. Britt Baker and the rest of their women’s division needs to start moving the needle?

    Myself: Not bloody likely. They’ve had such an inconsistent sprint out of the gate that I feel it’ll take a couple Paige’s to get them on the right track.

    SkitZ: A couple Paige’s? That’s easy enough to find. Just check my browser history.

    Myself: Yeah you’re so cool for fapping it to Saraya before she had fake tits, lip injections and a tan. Congrats loser.

    Me: I’m just glad Paige didn’t settle for a more demeaning line of work after being forced to retire. She’s a huge asset to AEW’s women’s division!

    SkitZ: I prefer Toni Storm’s huge ass, but hey that’s just me.

    Myself: MJF’s fiance has a lovely dumper on her as well.

    Me: If you ask me, I think Maxwell has Moxley’s number and he’s primed to become AEW World Champion on the 19th!

    Myself: What are the odds that “the bidding war of 2024” MJF brings up so often is legit? Or is it merely an angle to build intrigue while in reality Maxwell’s already signed a contract extension?

    SkitZ: I can’t imagine MJF not closing out this year wearing gold around his waist. I also don’t think he’s anywhere close to leaving, and will remain arguably the company’s top star for the next 3-5 years. The dude is too ambitious and money hungry to not end up in WWE eventually, but there’s no rush. MJF is only 26 years old.

    Myself: Then you go from a white hot commodity like MJF to the Karrion Kross and Braun Strowman’s of the world who - in 2022 - I could give two basic shits about returning to WWE. There’s nothing about Braun that captures the imagination anymore and Kross is one of those wrestlers who should be dominating NWA or MLW. Great presentation but he’s the fucking Marc Mero of this generation. There’s one thing remotely interesting about Kross and it’s his wife.

    SkitZ: Damn that’s harsh, dude.

    Me: Yeah, I love his Jesse Ventura impression!

    Myself: Nobody’s gonna get that reference.

    SkitZ: Speaking of Kross and Strowman, I didn’t really understand the appeal of their Control Your Narrative shtick with EC3. It kinda reminds me of those Choose Your Own Adventure books; only the characters in said books are the ones choosing the plot twists…? What’s ironic is if wrestling fans today could pick the storylines, I doubt Braun, Kross or EC3 would even cross their minds.

    Myself: I’d love to ask Mizfan if EC3’s done anything that’s genuinely interested him since the Rockstar Spud feud in TNA, because the dude’s given me nothing but mid vibes ever since.

    Me: He’s just a journeyman is all! I’d put EC3 in the same category as Zack Ryder.

    SkitZ: Well that’s hardly a compliment considering Cardona works for like 10 different wrestling promotions and his only fan is Chelsea Green.

    Myself: I bet she makes more than him too. Who do you think goes crawling back to WWE first - Carter or Cardona?

    SkitZ: EC3 oddly enough. He should know better, but a third run feels inevitable to me. Carter returned to NXT after the culture had changed drastically since the Bill DeMott hazing days, and now he’ll be tempted to take another crack at the main roster with Vince no longer around to hate mute his promos.

    Myself: Yeah but EC3 isn’t a Triple H product to begin with.

    Me: Rusev fits that description though! I wanna see Miro bid AEW farewell and return to WWE where he’ll be treated right!

    Myself: Because they handled him so well the first go-around? Miro is no stranger to midcard purgatory. I can’t picture him moving anywhere soon, aside from a further leap into Hollywood and acting.

    SkitZ: Just as long as Miro’s not trying to sell TK on signing his wife. Aside from being one of those UFC girls who carries around the round cards in a bikini, she really isn’t qualified for any other position in the company.

    Myself: You hit the nail right on the head, which reminds me… what’s with Jeff Jarrett showing up on Dynamite dressed like Stevie Nicks?


    SkitZ: Darby Allin would be into smashing guitars over his domepiece. Double J popping up in AEW caught me by surprise yes, but should it really have? The whole thing felt like Tony Khan’s watered down equivalent of Mr. McMahon hiring Eric Bischoff. Not that TK and Jarrett ever had any beef, but Double J is no stranger to insider info and trade secrets if you get my drift.

    Myself: Perhaps this is all part of some elaborate plan hatched by the Khan family. Nick implodes WWE from within, gets Hunter and Stephanie out of the way via legal drama, takes over the company, then merges the company with AEW so the two brothers can sell it to the highest bidder and grow even richer!

    Me: Tony would never do such a thing! He loves wrestling too much. It’s his passion.

    Myself: ​​

    I’m just saying he fits the profile.

    SkitZ: Tony must be on something to justify how he handles his talent rotation on a week-to-week basis. It must be nice being so loaded that you can pay half your roster top dollar to work once a month. I struggle to understand the arrangement he has with guys like FTR, and how it improves AEW as a brand.

    Me: I’m sure Cash & Dax had it worked into their deal that they could wrestle on the indies while under contract.

    Myself: Yeah, but how does it help the Khan Man and his company letting FTR compete far more often everywhere else than in AEW?

    Me: Wheeler & Harwood are restoring the prestige of the ROH Tag Team Titles. It’s mutually beneficial!

    Myself: Or it’s just convenient for Tony to keep FTR preoccupied collecting belts in other promotions because his tag division is a mess outside of The Acclaim’s recent rise to stardom. No matter the reason, I could picture FTR resigning with WWE when their current AEW deal expires to cement the legacy that vanilla midget murdering McMahon squashed a few short years ago.

    SkitZ: Oh you’re just feeling inadequate because of your own shortness.

    Me: Hey, 5 ’9 is a respectable height!

    SkitZ: Pshhh even that’s a stretch.

    Myself: Yeah changing topics… Which is more likely - Sammy Guevara’s backstage issues in AEW eventually get him ejected and he lands in WWE, or The Spanish God’s ongoing misconduct leads to him only being able to get bookings south of the border?

    SkitZ: I bet Sammy could fill a book with his experiences below Tay’s equator.

    Me: Can we at least try to keep the conversation clean?

    SkitZ: Oh please, you probably whack it more than both of us combined. As for the question posed though, there’s no way Hunter takes a chance on a well documented problem child. No way Jose. With the growing bounty on Sammy’s head, he better get himself some AAA insurance. The kid has enemies across more than one America.

    Myself: I’d still trade Dominick for him any day of the week.

    Me: Wait, it kinda sounds like you’re picking sides... I thought we were supposed to be unbiased?!

    Myself: By you and what judge, jerkoff? I do as I please.

    SkitZ: See, this is how I know when to wrap it up. You fuckers start poking at each other and then someone fires off a round they can’t take back. Before I cut you two loose though, hear me out.

    The Omos experiment needs to end. His career trajectory has looked a little cloudy since VKM stopped playing God, and that’s not a bad thing. The dude is an absolute monster, but only in size. Otherwise he’s got this unsightly habit of looking nervous while also trying to appear confident and menacing. It gives off some serious cringe vibes. I saw Omos and MVP make an appearance during halftime of the Niners/Rams game last Sunday night and it was painful to watch. Omos motioned as if he were going to toss a planted Packers fan through a table, and then awkwardly struggled to hoist the chubby white guy above his shoulders. It made me truly ashamed in that moment to be a wrestling fan. I’ll give you that Omos has presence, but he’s lacking literally every other vital component.

    Myself: Are you suggesting Omos goes to AEW and stinks up the joint? Why when Tony Khan already has the second coming of the fucking Great Khali in Satnam Singh?

    SkitZ: Never would I propose such a thing. The point I was getting to is Omos doesn’t need to simply switch sidelines... He should change professions altogether. Turn that behemoth into an NFL mascot and end his charade of a wrestling career.

    Me: I’m honestly looking forward to his clash with Braun at Crown Jewel!

    Myself: Ugh why do we even bother including your merry little ass?

    SkitZ: Yeah, remind me to only invite him to the Christmas collab from now on.

  • #2
    Aw, poor Me. He's just trying to keep things positive. Reminds me of a young mizfan.

    I recall digging EC3's TNA stuff as long as I was watching, called it quits in early 2017 when they brought fucking Alberto in to win the title. Last time I saw him was that one NXT ladder match that everyone loved and now everybody in it is fired.

    You know my feelings on Jarrett coming in, probably the most faith shaking moment I've seen from TK yet. Jarrett must be the greatest salesman ever to keep conning folks into giving him a paycheck when he's never given a thing back.

    I won't hear this Satnam Singh slander though. If you saw Darby bounce off him on the last Dynamite, that alone was cooler than anything Khali did!

    Love you, Skitzoid.

    The '92 Rumble! The Brain's Finest Hour!


    • #3
      Love ya back, Mizfit. I could make the counterargument that Darby is reckless and crafty enough to make any opponent look good! Nah but I'm sure this Singh dude can't be as shitty as Khali was in his heyday. I remember someone tweeting not that long ago about the latter tearing it up over in India, but that's one of those things I'd definitely need to see to believe.

      And here I was ready to cut TK some slack after announcing Jarrett as AEW's Director of Business Development... then I find out Double J's been booked for a tag match at Full Gear!? I'm afraid that's another strike against you, Tony.


      • #4
        I love when you do this format, I think it's your third one now.

        I think the negativity stems from the mentality of those choosing one company over the other and berating whatever the other does. The fact is that both companies NEED to exist in order to sustain a level playing field for the wrestlers who might not get viable opportunities at one of the companies. Also, with HHH manning the plane, WWE has gotten better and AEW loyalists can't seem to handle that fact.

        You know AEW is crowded for sure when great talent can't even get a look in. It's only a matter of time before they become disgruntled - which there have already been rumors of - and start to look elsewhere . It's just not possible to keep so many talent happy all at the same time.

        As for Paige, her promos have been cringe since her return and I'm pretty sure her first match back will be cringe too. Hopefully it's all just rust and she can shake it all off like Taylor Swift in the coming weeks.

        Love this Skitz!