Random Rumblings - Revenge of the Sixth

[KMA_Jackson]

Revenge of the Sixth

Salutations go out to one and all. Welcome once again to Random Rumblings. First of all, I am your host KMA Jackson (formerly known as Thriller). Secondly, I would like to thank everyone who read and left feedback for my last column (oh so long ago). For those who are fans of the faux autobiography, new installments will be featured here in future editions of Random Rumblings. In case you missed it, I will be re-posting the column sometime this week so keep your eyes peeled.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s get straight to it…

- Is it just me, or does this year’s Wrestlemania leave quite a lot to be desired? There is just something about it that makes me think…. Meh. I was more hyped for No Way Out than this…. How is THAT POSSIBLE?

- Christian returned to the WWE by way of ECW. While I can’t say I am happy that Christian ended up on TNA-Lite, I am glad he is finally back in WWE. It will be wonderful to see him once again and this time he should definitely get a fair shake.

- The 2009 WWE Draft has been announced and will take place on April 1, just two short weeks after Wrestlemania. If you ask me, this seems like a desperation move on WWE’s part. This is awful early for them to pull out the draft. However, I am excited since the draft actually does shake things up a bit and create some exciting television. This year my hopes are that Batista gets moved away from Raw and that Christian moves from ECW. If those two things happen, I will be a happy man…. Oh, and just for Sean Taylor’s sake, would someone please move Rey Mysterio to ECW? Sean’s head will explode if he is forced to watch him on Raw for too much longer!

- Is there anyone more entertaining in the WWE right now, than Santino Marella? I don’t think so. Even his 1 second elimination from the Royal Rumble was funny as hell. When you have a guy so talented that he can be in a match for less than 2 seconds and be one of the most entertaining portions of said match, you have a true superstar. Here’s hoping Santino gets the push he truly deserves.

- I managed to catch bits and pieces of TNA’s February PPV offering. And I have just one question for all of the TNA fans? What is so great about that product? Sting and Scott Steiner are given huge PPV wins while Petey Willims loses his job?! Tell me how that makes any sense. Petey Williams was a huge talent in TNA and they just let him go?! Their reasoning is to get new fresh faces on the show. Well how about kicking Kip James and Scott Steiner to the curb?! When will they learn?

- If anyone is looking for a great WWE DVD to buy, I strongly suggest the new Saturday Night’s Main Event DVD. This is the perfect DVD set for any old school fan. The reason behind it is simple. Every match from the 80s and 90s has a super hot crowd that definitely helps create a great atmosphere for the entire DVD. I watched each and every match and bonus segment within a weekend. Anyone who picks up this DVD set will not be disappointed.

- The Undertaker is facing Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania…. BLECH! Honestly I just don’t care. Shawn Michaels is my favorite superstar of all time and I couldn’t care less about this match. Why? Why are they having this match? So Taker can finally beat HBK? Who cares? I just don’t understand how anyone can get hyped for a match that there is no question to what the outcome will be…. Which is why I hate Undertaker….. There, I said it.

- I saw this on the main page a few days back….

I received several live reports saying that Rey Mysterio was injured over the weekend at a WWE house show. Mysterio went for his 619 finisher but botched the spot and fell through the ropes to the arena floor below. He appeared to have tweaked his knee in the process. Thankfully he did not sustain a serious injury and he wrestled the following night (last night) in San Angelo, Texas.

Is that not the most hilarious thing you have ever heard?! I nearly fell out of my chair laughing because the glorified spot monkey himself fell through the ropes performing one of the dumbest moves I have ever witnessed. HA!

Or
Why This Year’s Money in the Bank Could Re-Define the Ladder Match

I couldn’t help but notice as I surf my favorite wrestling site while watching the latest episode of Smackdown, that many MANY fans are upset and even a bit pissed off over this year’s Wrestlemania Money in the Bank match. I echo those statements and feel those very frustrations. But the more I thought about it, the more I came to realize something. The booking of this match is PURE GENIUS! Now sure, on the surface this match holds very little water when comparing it to practically any other ladder match in the history of this business. In order to grasp the sheer genius of this years offering, we must first analyze a different match type entirely. We will begin discussing the evolution of the Hell in the Cell match.

When the Hell in the Cell match first debuted in 1997, Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker set a precedent for cage matches that others would be hard pressed to succeed. In their brutal and bloody encounter, these two superstars performed in a match, which included everything. From sheer brutality inside the ring, to daredevil moments on top of the cell, this match set the bar high for the ones which would follow. The most memorable moment of the match would see Shawn Michaels fall from the side of the cell through the announce table below. May wrestling historians and fans alike would call this the greatest cage match in wrestling history, for a few months at least…

In June of 1998, Mick Foley and the Undertaker would shock the world when they competed in a match that every wrestling fan worth his salt has seen at least once. Mick Foley put himself through thumbtacks, took chair shots and even flew of the top of the cell to the amazement of all fans watching and in attendance. Often looked at as the greatest Hell in a Cell Match of all time, it was this match that also is the cause of so many problems with the matches that followed. Any Hell in the Cell match that came after this one was compared with Undertaker – Foley at King of the Ring. If the match didn’t outperform this match in high spots alone, it would be an epic fail. Ask Chris Jericho and Triple H. The two men competed in a decent Hell in the Cell match, but since nobody flew off the top of the cell, and the only major injury to occur was to a referee, it is rather forgettable. Thus was the problem with most Cell bouts that followed 1998’s King of the Ring.

It wasn’t until 2002, that a new Hell in the Cell match was praised. In October of 2002, new WWE Champion Brock Lesnar defended his title against The Undertaker in a Cell match at the No Mercy Pay Per View event. It was at this event that a new Cell match was born. There was no jumping off the cell, and no going through the top. In fact, at no time during the match did either competitor leave the cell; which was a first in the match’s history. With no high spots during the bout, one would ask what was so special about this encounter. For the first time in Cell history, the match was more about the sheer brutality in which the cell could become instead of who could take a higher fall from the top of the cage. Through stiff punches and devastating impact moves that utilized the cage, this match truly created a new level of violence unique from its predecessors.

In the years that would follow, the Hell in the Cell match would no longer be a showcase of diving high spots, but instead it would become closely associated with vicious blood-soaked encounters.

So what does this have to do with the ladder match on April 5?

In the long and illustrious history of the ladder match, one thought comes to mind, high-risk acrobatics. Whether it be Shawn Michaels, Edge, Jeff Hardy or Shelton Benjamin the ladder match has always been synonymous with daredevil maneuvers and men willing to do whatever it takes to win. More so than that, the ladder match was one fans would anticipate in order to see who would pull off the show stealing move, and just what exactly that move would be. Whether Jeff Hardy was leaping off of a 15 foot ladder toward an opponent sprawled across a table below, or the unlucky Joey Mercury having his face rearranged courtesy of a ladder see-saw, these moments would define the ladder match, and each ladder match had its own defining moment.

However, just like the Brock Lesnar – Undertaker Hell in the Cell match from 2002, this years Money in the Bank Ladder match has the opportunity to re-define the ladder match for many years to come. It is this writer’s belief that the WWE will attempt to take the ladder match back to its roots this year by making it a more physical brawl than previous years. When Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon first had their epic encounter at Wrestlemania X, the ladder was used more like a chair or sledgehammer would be, rather than a prop to be leapt from. With the field we have in this year’s match, I surely can see it returning to such a fierce match.

This isn’t to say that we won’t get our “Holy Shit” moment, because we will. Even the WWE isn’t dumb enough to deprive fans of that. However, instead of nine or ten moments that make us want to scream “Holy Shit”, we may get one or two. I find no fault in this since with nearly a dozen high spots in a match, each spot means less and most are often forgotten save for one. This years group of superstars show us that we are indeed in for a more physical encounter instead of a high flying presentation. Let’s take a look at that field now…

CM PUNK
Resume: 2008 MITB Winner, Former World Heavyweight Champion, Former Intercontinental Champion, Former World Tag Team Champion, Former ECW Champion

While few actually expect CM Punk to win this thing for a second year in a row, CM Punk brings his unique style to the Money in the Bank match once again. Punk is one of those superstars that marks and ROH fans alike can get behind. Forget the fact that he has zero charisma…. For some reason, he is over…. Not World Title over, but over nonetheless. Punk can wrestle technically and is able to take risks when needed, but he is also a great brawler when needed to be which is why he is essential to this ladder match.

SHELTON BENJAMIN
Resume: Umpteen time Intercontinental and current U.S. Champion, Former Tag Team Champion, Spot / Botch Monkey

What would a MITB match be without a man willing to fly off the top of a ladder through an empty waiting table below? Shelton Benjamin enters this year’s ladder match filling the …. Err… Shelton Benjamin spot. Y’see the Shelton Benjamin spot is reserved for someone with no chance of winning yet said competitor will be expected to kill themselves at least twice during said match. Shelton fits the bill, not only by criteria, but the spot is named after him…. Moving on….

KOFI KINGSTON
Resume: Former Intercontinental Champion, Former World Tag Team Champion

For the first time ever we my have not one but two Shelton Benjamin entrants. Seriously though, each week Kofi Kingston manages to turn more and more heads. After being unceremoniously removed from the Elimination Chamber match last month, Kofi will get his first chance to grasp the brass ring at Wrestlemania. I look forward to seeing Kofi in this element as I feel he would mesh perfectly inside the ladder match. As for his role? Kofi will delight crowds but come up short in his quest for the briefcase….


FIT FINLAY
Resume: Has he done anything since joining the E? Oh yeah, Former United States Champion, Excuse for Hornswoggle still being employed

For that last reason alone, Finlay should be ashamed. Regardless of Hornswoggle’s current state of employment, Finlay is a wonderful addition to this year’s bout. This is Finlay’s second attempt at the MITB briefcase. Fans should remember his involvement back at Wrestlemania 22 when he was embroiled in a feud with Bobby Lashley. Who is Bobby Lashley you ask? He is the black Bock Lesnar who never did anything quite as impressive and achieved practically nothing in his tenure with the E. Most fans will recognize him as the Wayne Brady of pro wrestling. Where was I? Oh, yes… Finlay. This year’s MITB match will be special…A brutal kind of special and Finlay is just the man to bring a new level of sheer brutality and unrelenting punishment to the match. Finlay can brawl with the best of them and his vicious repertoire will not only be welcome in this new ladder match but it will be a highlight. Mark my words.

MVP
Resume: Former U.S. Champion, Former WWE Tag Team Champion

MVP is probably one of the most unique entrants into this year’s bout. MVP has a vast and varied repertoire which will allow him to adapt to pretty much anything and everything. Unlike most spot monkeys, MVP can take a big bump while also exhibiting the psychology of the match itself. Last year MVP showed that he has what it takes to compete in a match of this magnitude. This year he enters as an underdog favorite to win after recovering from his huge losing streak for most of 2008. But most importantly, what MVP brings to this match is a level of uncertainty. MVP; while not only a favorite; will be able to scale the ladder and perform death defying offensive moves, but also take the brawl to most other competitors. Watch him…. I dare you.

KANE
Resume: Former WWE Champion, Former ECW Champion, Former Intercontinental Champion, Former Tag Team Champion

WWE’s favorite monster jobber Kane returns to the MITB ladder match after a 3 year hiatus from the match. Kane competed in the original MITB match at Mania 21, and Kane won TLC IV on Raw several years back. But Kane brings a large element to this match which many may not realize… Kane brings his sheer size and presence to a match which traditionally features small high flyers. Alongside Finlay, Kane will raise the level of brutality of this match to a level unheard of. Will he win? Probably not, but what he will do is help re-define the ladder match for years to come.

MARK HENRY
Resume: Former ECW Champion, Worlds Luckiest Man For Still Having A Job

Undoubtedly, the most surprising entrant into this year’s match is Mark Henry. The World’s Strongest (Smelling) Man will compete in his very first ladder match and while I can’t shake the feeling that Santino was robbed, I also can’t shake the feeling that Mark Henry *may* actually bring something special to this match. While his athleticism is rivaled by that of a dead cow, Mark Henry actually has the potential to transform this match from watchable to memorable. Mark Henry is the foundation this match desperately needs to redefine the ladder match. Be on the lookout for some of the stiffest ladder shots ever seen when it comes to Mark Henry.


CHRISTIAN
Resume: Former Intercontinental Champion, Former Tag Team Champion, Former TNA World Champion

Our final entrant into this year’s match (and my pick to win) is “Captain Charisma”. While Christian’s Peeps will be happy to see his long awaited return to Wrestlemania and the ladder match, many also await his dare-devil attitude he had in previous ladder matches. While I can’t say for sure we will see something daring from Christian, I can say that we will see something special. Since Christian went to TNA and returned to the WWE, his style has changed completely from what it used to be. Christian is a more technically sound athlete than he was four years ago. Christian’s psychology has improved and his ability to tell a story has grown leaps and bounds. With him in this revamped ladder match, you can almost guarantee that it will be a classic.

With eight strong entrants; all known for something unique from the other; this years Money in the Bank could be the ladder match needed to give it its genesis. While some may be upset that the death defying spots will be cut back, I’m certain those detractors will be impressed with the ugly violence they will witness on April 5. This year the ladder match will be reborn…

Or, I could just be talking out of my ass.

That is going to wrap things up for the sixth edition of Random Rumblings. In my next outing be on the lookout for the next installment in my autobiography series.

In the mean time, feedback is always appreciated but not always correct.

Until later....

[TheMonkeyBoy]

your talking out of your ass. Only joking, I can actully see your point here. While I dont fully agree with you I can see what you are talking about and it is a possibility.

Saying this, I want to see a massive world strongest slam off a ladder.

Anyway, good solid read here, although there were a few minor errors but just reading it through would sort them out. Well done

[NightofDay]

This was an enjoyable read. Loved the play on the title seeing as how I'm a casual Star Wars fan. Not a die hard fan but one that's interested in. Nonetheless this was a very good read. I will read you next time.

And Cult, if Henry did the WSS off a ladder, not only would the ring implode under all that weight and the force he would probably kill the guy he's doing it to. Hell he could probably do it to Hornswoggle. I'd pay to see that.

[Leonard]

Mr. Jackson:

This is my first time reading you, and while it felt a little short, you got your points across, so I commend you for that. I agree that this could change the scope of the way the ladder match is viewed, much like the Hell in a Cell bout that you mentioned. While I've never been a fan of Henry, he may add an interesting aspect to this match that we've not seen before. I like Finlay's inclusion in there too, as he's one of my favorites (although this will be his third MitB match if memory serves me correctly--22, 23, and now 25).

Well done, I'll read you next time.

--Leonard

[The Maz]

Cos no one can resist the evil of the Thriller...

Great to see you back as you were starting to make a name for yourself before...I really enjoy a slightly edgy column where I do not agree for the most part, it leads to an interesting read...

I read this wile I am putting finishing touches on my own MitB column and I wont get into it to much as my thoughts will be up soon but you certainly delivered an interesting perspective... But Len is right, this is Finlay's third outing and I think he did very well in the first two.

Good stuff and look forward to another one soon.

[cicero]

Very entertaining. Arbitrary ranking, 8.4/11.


Mark Henry for World Champ #1 Guy, yeah?

[Jason Boy]

First time reading you, nice format, great job, you need to re-read it before posting, you wrote M.V.P as former United States Champion however he is the current champion, same thing goes for Shelton Benjamin who is the former champion. Yes other than that great job

[KMA_Jackson]

Feedback Part 1

Monkey Boy - Thanks for reading. I do need to be more diligent in re-reading carefully. The funny thing about this column was I didn't agree with what I was saying. Degenerate set out this topic as a challenge in the Brainstorm thread and I took it. It looks like I was at least fairly convincing. Thanks again for reading.

NightOfDay - All of my columns will be unique titles just like 'Revenge of the Sixth' or 'The Fifth Crusade'. I think they are kinda funny and are a change to the often used "Column #006". Thanks for reading.

lenjr04 - Finlay's third MITB? Lemme check....... Damn. You're right. How the hell did I miss that?! Thanks for pointing that out. As for the length, this is actually my longest piece to date, but when re-reading it, I can kinda see your point. While it was long, it reads quickly.... I'll work on that for next time. Thanks for Rumbling with me.

Mazza - It's definitely nice to be appreciated around here. Thanks for the kind words and good luck in the CSI. (Just don't beat Taylor too bad... He's got 'self-confidence' issues....) It definitely won't be long before you hear from me again.

cicero - You're a hard man to please. I've seen that in your comments on many other columns here. So an 8.4/11 is a score I am proud to achieve from you. Thanks for reading.

Jason Boy - Damn... I was sure I had changed that. I started writing this column before that Smackdown aired and thought I had gone back to change it after the title change had taken place... Ahh well.... Thanks for stopping by....