The Failed Parachute 8 : Phoning It In

[The Failed Parachute]

Oi Oi Saveloy’s

After a dull week at work I can now introduce you to another edition of The Failed Parachute

My last edition was admittedly a wee bit thin on the words and heavy on pictures so I thought, I'd level it up a little this time, for the sake of variety …a word the WWE is shying away from lately - Oooh I just set the tone of this column.

Before I start, a few things:

Did I really read we could have had R-Truth in the Money in the Bank ladder match? Instead we get Mark Henry...a man who couldn’t draw a smiley face. Where in the realm of possibility did that seem like the better choice?

To the few who are so sure Shawn Michaels is going to end the streak I cluck my tongue at you …CLUCK I SAY. HBK needs to end the streak as much as we need more midgets in WWE. Ending the streak will be an un needed accolade in Michaels all ready stellar Hall of Fame career. It makes as much sense as a midget in wrestling to have Michaels go over ,as he has absolutely nothing to gain, not knowing how long Taker will go on for IF his streak is to be broken smart booking would suggest a young star needing that eureka moment, to push them over the edge and establish them in the main stream will pin the dead man.



Triple H Vs Cody Rhodes from RAW really has to go into my Hall of Fame of dirrorhea quality RAW segments. From start to finish it was a joke, supposedly one of RAWs upcoming big players made Triple H's bitch faster than Stephanie McMahon and who came off looking just as masculine.


Phoning It In

So the WWE is facing a bit of a hard time at the minute, buy rates are going down along with the ratings of all three brands. Some may say “oooh global recession” but I say to them “ooooooh no” the WWE is a big part of a lot of peoples lives, it offers an escape, for a couple hours a week to become engrossed in the ongoing world of wrestling. Real wrestling fanatics will stay as loyal as they can and more importantly, if there entertained.

I'll throw my 2 cents in and put it all on the line right now ….deep breath and

TOO MANY PPVS

Ok I understand there a good source of income for WWE but I think it’s about time we moved on and had a bit of a shake up. I’m sure I'm not surprising anyone when I say that it’s due to WCW and Eric Bischoff we have this abundance of PPV events. In the days of the Monday Night Wars as a way to bring in more acclaim and money WCW started running more and more PPVS – in essence the thinking was

- WWE runs 4-6 PPVS a year -
- There are another 6 or so months in the year so if there’s events on and no alternative, wrestling fans will watch.
- As a result WCW started running more and more until it was one a month, this forced WWE and Vince McMahon to retialailte by doing the same.

A big frog however here - HOWEVER , nowadays the WWE does not need to continue this trend. Oh I feel some more Froggy bullet points coming and I CANT HOLD THEM, so here’s why:

- WWE doesn’t have the level of competition anymore. WCW was a big threat to WWE during its glory years coming close to putting ole Vinyl Mac out of business (insistently if you haven’t watched the Monday Night Wars DVD I highly recommend) but nowadays WWE is in my view at an untouchable level . Not to say it will always be it just seems that any wrestler starting out, dreams of being in the WWE, due to its prestige and history. The likes of TNA and ROH haven’t got that level of legacy right now.

- Speaking of TNA, it really is not a threat to WWE….bit of a bold statement but it just isn’t. I personally don’t watch and I’m a big wrestling fan….there in lies the problem. During a time where some of my least favourite people are clogging up WWE television I should be prime to be tempted away to another show. TNA’s problems are numerous and well known – the lack of young stars in high profile roles and the whole trying to be different for different sakes. Wrestling has been around for god knows how many years , best known to happen in a “squared circle” so WHY make a 6 sides ring ….that turns me off for some reason I cant put into words……..

- If the WWE cut the PPV number to LETS SAY 6 a year feuds could be build, bubble and mature, PPVs can become much bigger and more fulfilling for the fans and ultimately TV ratings would surely go up.

- If there were 6 events a year there buy rates could be massive.

- The big 4 would reclaim some of there lost prestige.

- I live in the UK so only the “big boys” are on PPV here the rest are free on Sky Sports so get them for free, If this wasn’t the case I don’t know if i'd really watch a PPV before the DVD release. Forking out 20 odd quid a month for a PPV just isn’t feasible to me when the PPVs are so repetitive and...Unfulfilling.



So I read on the main page that WWE elves are shocked by this years Royal Rumble’s success…should they be?

HAHAHAHAHAHA NO

There’s been a trend lately that maybe I'm the only one who perceives it this way but it just seems the WWE are “phoning it in” a lot more. Look at the Royal Rumble, as a fan I like to see surprises and swerves every now and then but this year’s rumble was as predicable as a John Cena match. We all knew Randy was going to win and Jeff was gonna get screwed, I know what your saying “If you didn’t read sites like this you wouldn’t know that kind of stuff” but a blind man could see some of it coming.

The main event scene needs a couple of injections of new blood aswell. The fact that the amount of feuds that get rehashed and reworked cannot help entice long standing fans to fork out the PPV cash. I read a very good column here about how many times the Orton – HHH thing has been rehashed and remoulded like putting make up on a corpse….write your own Kane joke here. Jeff Hardy is really the shining light bursting through a stale and predictable main event scene to become one of the most over stars in the company. As a fan I feel kinda cheated being sold the same matches over and over again it’s like if they didn’t find out who was the better man the last 19 times they had a match why should I believe this time is any different but maybe it’s just me.

The WWE needs to shake things up in my view; it appears there just ticking...ticking and ticking over month after month. With the recent insurgence of gimmick PPVs – No Way Out / Chambers and Unforgiven / Scrambles it gives the impression there relying more on gimmicky events than well built feuds. Don’t get me wrong I THOROUGHLY enjoy chambers and I really liked the scramble matches but gluing them to the same PPV every years is not a good move in my view. Have them when needed and suit the performers not whenever you’re out of ideas.

Bouncing of the walls

Hopes aren’t high amongst the number crunches about the 25th anniversary of Wrestlemania but I think it’s looking pretty darn good. The last big anniversary was off course Wrestlemania 20 or the forgotten Wrestlemania as It now seems due to the actions of one of the main eventers…….. YOU SOLD OUT TO JBL SHAWN AND ILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU …I kid I kid.



Wrestlemania 20 was a fine event it had the feel of a huge anniversary and epic sense that I feel this years is lacking a little. 25 just seems to be a one match event, Shawn Michaels Vs Undertaker is really the match giving this event a real Wrestlemania feel. I have to say I am thoroughly looking forward to the tag team unification match much more than Triple H Vs Orton, anyone whos read my columns will know who much I love the under card. Alas it’s too early to talk to in depth about Wrestlemania at this time maybe in a week or so time.

Batista has stated recently he sees his wrestling career lasting for approximately one more year, well although I’m taking this news with a pinch of salt it’s nice to see a guy go out when he’s not too banged up and old *cough* Hogan *cough*. Big Dave also said he wanted to makes his last year huge - well this could be bad, we all know after Cyber Sunday that Dave can get what he wants sometimes and this is not good news for us fans…we shall see.

I know I said I think it’s too early to be talking about mania too extensively but just to go on from my JBL rant from last week….am I alone in thinking the Intercontinental Belt's been dumped on a bit here? We had one of the worst angles of the year with HBK as JBL's employee trying to get the doughy Texan to Mania as World Champ but failing. So then it seems Bradshaw just went for a belt he knew he could win “Oh I can’t win the world I suppose the IC will have to do”. Despite this I am pleased to see the Intercontinental belt defended at the biggest event of the year for the first time in nearly 7 years.

That’s your lot you lucky people so until next time

Ribbit Ribbit Croak

As always anything on your mind email me hecardreadgood@hotmail.com

What the fudge title reign of the week

US Championship

Orlando Jordan



Won: March 1st 2005
Lost: August 21st 2005

Orlando Jordan god the name just instils a sense of majesty, honour and prestige doesn’t it? I have to admit I fell out of wrestling a bit around this time but know enough from popping in now and then and DVDs to know nothing amazingly entertaining was happening, especially on Smackdown. Then doughy champ JBL had his cabinet which consisted of Orlando and The Basham Brothers….how is this stable not ripped apart by us online nerds? Anyway Mr Jordan found himself losing his belt to Benoit in less than 30 seconds….ON A PPV, not just any PPV but one of the supposedly big 4. The reign was pointless, dull and booked poorly – worthy of this award I’m sure you will agree.

[ca$hmoney]

Great job like always!

I completely agree with you about the staleness at the top of the WWE card.

Jeff Hardy may be the most over wrestler in the company, and I would much rather have seen him in a title match instead of this Cena v. Edge v. Big Show crap.

[TheMonkeyBoy]

Umm...

I agreed with what you said here, it just felt a tad short.

I did enjoy it though

[The Failed Parachute]

Thanks yeah its a bit shorter than some of my others mainly due to time.

totally agree about Jeff , remember when he jumped off the titantron on Orton he was the the most over thing in the company then , shame they didnt pull the trigger there

[Roger Murtaugh]

You had been carving quite a little niche for yourself lately, yet oddly enough a column about phoning performances in seemed a little "phoned in". Not that the column was bad, but it seemed to back peddle a little from the overall progress I felt you've made.

As for the content:

I fully agree with HHH/Cody, while I'm far from a Cody supporter I don't dig squash matches in general. WWE has a bad habit of treating their tag teams (with the exception of Miz/Morrison) as glorified jobbers.

The monthly ppv format is horrendous considering the prices. Plus it forces WWE to rush through stories as opposed to letting them have a slower more methodical build. Again another point I agree on, though I'm not sure I'd go as far as to say that the buy rates would sky rocket.

Jeff Hardy is one of those guys to me that I used to be a diehard fan of but I'm still not 100% behind giving the guy a full on main event run. I do think he got royally screwed out of his WWE title run though.

Anyway, not your best but a perfectly acceptable read nonetheless.

[cicero]

So I read this earlier but wanted to wait to feedback for perhaps no other reason than that I could say "ditto".

I for one have never really been too concerned with questions of length but your main argument was kind of short.

Anyway, other than that, 'excellent as always'.

[MyLeeCyrus]

I like this, and I agree with some of your points. But, two things:
1) I don't think its fair to say JBL vs HBK was one of the worst feuds of the year; JBL's mic work was very good, and the payoff at the end of it got Shawn a massive pop. And, unlike a lot of the angles they're doing recently, it didn't overexaggerate, it didn't rely on excessive violence, it was mostly good storytelling and (I know I've already said it, but I'll say it again) stellar mic work from JBL.

2) 6 PPVs a year probably would have a big impact on buy-rates, but I don't think it would be enough of an impact to justify the loss of revenue from the other 6 PPVs... I was going to embellish this point, but actually I think it speaks for itself...

But, bar these two points, I agree with most of what you said, and found it a nice read. Good job sire.

[Martin Riggs]

Solid, if a little short. Much like this feedback.

An enjoyable read, as always.

[Petre Dyche]

It kinda felt that you skipped (or hopped?) from point to point a bit too much here, but otherwise another decent effort.

I must disagree on reducing PPVs however. Raw and SD need MORE PPV time, not less. A return to semi-brand exclusivity is needed to allow the undercard and IC/US champions time to properly build up feuds and get a match "when the lights are on bright". Maybe just having a match or two from a hot feud on the other brand to arouse interests...

I must admit to loving the free PPVs from Sky Sports. Do you remember when they were on Channel 4 back in the day? Yeah they ruined them.

[Swanton Bomb]

One of the things about writing a column when you've just arrived on the scene (yes, I know it's your 8th), is that you tend to write less because you're worried you'll bore people half to death. Solution?

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

In my first column, I came off as looking like a ranter, and someone who didn't elaborate on their points. This is because I thought that people would get sick of me writing long columns, so I just did short ones. However, I realise now that the longer they are, the more quality it provides, and the better discussions we can have as a result of this. Column writing is not about pointing out good and bad points in terms of quality; it's about sparking discussions.

So let me start. If Shawn Michaels is not worthy of defeating the Undertaker, then who is? I would say Kane, because it makes more storyline sense, and it would be great for them to retire together. And I don't think a younger wrestler should do it, because then it makes The Undertaker look bad. He's beaten Batista, Kane (twice), Triple H, but yet he can't beat Ted DiBiase Jr.?

[romans_3:23]

Good work, ParaFrog,

I agree with you that HBK shouldn't and has no shot at ending Taker's streak. I disagree with the idea that an up and comer has to be the streak ender. The guy who should end Taker's streak is John Cena - no one else. Taker's Mania streak is as prestigious an accomplishment as Andre the Giant's 15 year undefeated career. And you didn't see Andre lay down for a guy on the upswing like Savage or Warrior. Hulk Hogan ended that streak and it was a clear passing of the torch. Taker should do the same thing for Cena.

Also, I agree that WWE should run less ppvs. I also think that Major League Baseball should shorten their regular season, but neither will happen because once owners find a revenue stream, they aren't going to cut it out. The only way WWE would cut back on ppvs is if they somehow lost money by putting on a show, and I doubt that will occur.

I expect the buyrates for this Mania to be quite poor however, considering the economy, and I wonder if this fact has discouraged guys like Austin or Hogan from taking part. Maybe they are asking for too much money to make it worth it for Vince. Maybe they don't want to have to take the blame for a low gate - ironically the worst buyrate of this decade was WM 19 which prominently featured both Hogan and Austin.

I wonder if in the long run a low buyrate will hurt RKO's main event status. Of course, he isn't going to drop the midcard, but I wonder if he will main event next year's Mania if he doesn't deliver big numbers. I doubt Triple H will shoulder the blame, and WWE has a built in excuse for Cena being basically a prop in the Edge/Show feud. Although you could argue that not prominently promoting your biggest star going into the biggest show of the year is idiotic.

So, RKO could end up holding the bag for if this Mania fails.

Read you later

[The Failed Parachute]

Thank you all, i will try to take all in account as always

Oh yes Mr Dyche the days of the 1am PPVs on C4 were great , even when you could set your VCR to record Wrestlemanias on Sky Sports were good ...now we just get the lesser PPVs.

You also make a good point about the second tier titles and PPVs. The thing with single branded PPVs is they can come across like a long episode of the brand - look at the Smackdown Great American Bashes......awful....god awful. One advantage of rolling back having more single brand events is they could bring back the cruiserweight belt. WHY do we get 2 womens belts but no cruiserweights ? the cruiserweight division was a shining star in the ole ECW and WCW days -- there's a column there dont you think? not for me i don't have the know how

Thanks for help Swantom . I have to say i really dont want to see the streak end, and realistically dont see it happening. Will Taker reach 20-0 ...it would be nice but never know, a retirement match Kane vs Undertaker would be epic and would immediately make me preorder the event as soon as it was announced. It will aslo be the 2nd match up that gets 3 rounds at Mania so be historic

I dont see Orton bearing the success of Wrestlemania it's a combination of poorly booked championship matches and the faining shine of the MITB that should be blamed not one man. Am i the only one thinking it would make far more sense to have Orton as the champ going into Wrestlemania ? Having one of the companys biggest stars have to blackmail his way into mania match? At this point Mania looks better this year than the last couple of years in my view but more on that in latter editions



Well ill be getting working on my next edition

[FeckOffCup]

You know i'm a big fan these coloumns , i wouldnt worry about length i read your coloumns for more of a fun quicky read . Your kind of like those mini cereal boxes ..fun easy to eat no matter how old you are - other columnist on this board are very good at history and storytelling , there like big bowels of cereal like bran with many sultanas of fun thrown in you offer something different

..............im hungry