Just Business #28 - A'Changing

['Plan]

Just Business #28


A’Changing

My name is ‘Plan and Fate has revealed something to me.

Fate has a plan for everyone. Each one of us is fated to act out our path in life and every event we endure has a meaning, a context, an underlying consequence which, though often unseen, dictates who we are and how we act.

But while each one of us experiences a unique life, all of us are subject to Fate’s greatest trick, her favourite party piece. Evolution. It can not be stopped, it can not be avoided. Some say only the strong survive. Others say it is the meek who will inherit the earth. All I know is that it is evolution that will make things clear when Fate feels good and ready to let us know.

Evolution affects each and every one of us…doesn’t it?


“Natural selection has not vision…”

There are many conflicting theories as to the ultimate fate of our existence. Some believe the meek will get their just rewards while others believe time has teeth and sharp claws and dispenses of anyone too weak to survive its unmerciful attack.

The world of wrestling is a vicious one, one long assault on the human body. Time after time these men throw themselves unto the breach and time after time they not only get repelled but physically battered. We watch on like a blood thirsty pack of wolves wanting these men to allow their bodies to crumble under the unrelenting assault they suffer. It is the ultimate test for the Darwinian theories of evolution.

There is no happy ending for those too weak to survive in this world. They drown. They burn. They disappear, whither, die. Choose whichever metaphor you want, the point is if you aren’t strong enough you’ll soon find yourself floating in the Styx.

Sympathy is for the weak here. There’s no hands of healing. There’s nobody behind the curtain offering you salvation. You adapt to your environment or you get left behind by the pack.

Oh people have tried to fight the passing of time, tried to fight evolution and they’ve done so in many guises. Some have tried to entrench themselves. They’ve tried to make camp, pitched tents, dug in. But there’s no defence. Someone once proclaimed that the Universe has a way of course correcting itself and evolution always uproots you. It’ll throw the world at you if it has to.

Vince McMahon. Crops of young, hungry talent. Expectation; a bar set too high to ever possibly be reached. It doesn’t always matter how evolution eats you up for supper, what matters is it always does.

Some have tried outright to hide from it. They’ve disguised themselves, tried to alter who they are, what they look like, how they act. It never works. Sure it might let you last out a little while longer but the change, ultimately, is always a superficial one. Whether you call it keeping yourself relevant or adaptation or even gimmick change, when evolution wants you out of the picture, when Fate has decided that your time is up, you’ll be thrown out like yesterday’s garbage.

Logic dictates that when you are faced with the relentless forwards march of an unstoppable force you try to avoid it at all costs. As has been pointed out, it never works. Some, however, are crazy enough to throw themselves at that force and if it doesn’t stop, they’ll get up and do it again and again and they may die trying but they never give up, they never surrender. What good is a man against time? Our bodies are temporary, frail and if the wiles of this world don’t getcha then you’ll just slowly break down. And then you’re gone. A fleeting thought and nothing more. There is no out lasting evolution.

The best we can hope to do, the best anyone has ever done, is to accept the inevitability of evolution, to recognise it and to prepare for it in order to forge yourself a legacy.

It has been done.


“…no foresight, no sight at all.”

Evolution doesn’t care about who it disposes of. Its forward march is as relentless and inevitable as death itself. What it doesn’t do, though, is think. It doesn’t plan. It isn’t a schemer. It’s a…a doer. Of things. But it is never a schemer.

Perhaps that is the one advantage we as man have against evolution. We can find patterns. It’s what we’re best at, looking for patterns usually in places where there are none, trying to find out some underlying logic to it all. We can plan for the future, plan for evolution. Four men once did it and have succeeded in doing it. As a result, they have remained relevant and resisted the tides of time.

They have forged for themselves a little legend that is relevant still to this very day. Circa 2003 four men joined forces to create a group more powerful than any in recent memory. For eighteen long months they rode roughshod over all their world, trampling on anybody who got in their way without mercy, without hesitation…they were as close to embodying evolution as any man has ever come to be.

What has that accomplished? If no one is safe from evolution, that goes for four men as much as it does for one. The oldest of the group has been claimed by the thing these men named themselves after. It won’t be too long till another one suffers the same fate. The third will fall shortly thereafter and the fourth may a last a little while longer but he too will eventually be claimed.

Having said that, creating their legacy, forming that group as they did meant one thing; they recognised evolution and embraced it. They bred themselves for the future and now the future is doing that very same thing.

‘Evolution’ is the single most powerful entity to grace our world in the modern era. Even as we speak it is relevant to what may perhaps be the biggest feud of the year. It has been the core to so many matches. It will continue to be so for a long time to come. What ‘Evolution’ has done is save one career, define another and make two. It has given four men continuity in a world that never stops turning, that never gives in, that never pauses to think.

‘Evolution’ at first sight seems to be a unique case. They’ve set themselves apart from the rest. They’ve defined themselves in the flow of time. They’ve managed to carve a face out of a flow as free as water. Where many floundered, ‘Evolution’ prospered. While its day is now banished to yesteryear its memory remains and that is proof that no matter how far evolution goes in this world, they will remain cemented along with it. They’ve kept ahead of the curve instead of tipping over its edge.

That’s at first sight. But there is another one who has survived evolution, albeit in a very different way. No living man can defy the process of time, the process of evolution, of progression and growth.

What about The Deadman?


“If it can be said to play the role of watchmaker in nature…”

While ‘Evolution’ embraced the process with which they named themselves after in order to stay ahead of it, The Deadman has outright defied the entire concept. He has not stayed ahead of the curve, he was become exempt from it. He is the anomaly on the graph, a presence inexplicably exempt from everything else.

In this world, everything merges together into one entity. Time almost has no meaning here. We see the same events every year with different men hating different men fighting different fights but essentially, it all merges together like water colours on a fresh canvas. That is not to say our world is without its clocks. It has a varying degree of them by which we can judge the progression of our world, measure its change, its evolution. We all know deep down inside what the most prominent of these clocks is called.

Wrestlemania.

It started nearly twenty five years ago and has constantly been changing since its first instalment. We can measure the change of our world, the evolution of it by examining Wrestlemania. It was an event originally headlined by the likes of Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant and Randy Savage. It later developed to include the likes of The Ultimate Warrior and, briefly, Ric Flair. Those faces changed once more, replaced by the likes of Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels who in turn became replaced by Steve Austin, The Rock and HHH. And now we face a world with John Cena, Randy Orton and Batista.

We have witnessed this world evolve over the years; from a time of big men and short matches to a time that saw an epic sixty minute war to an age of attitude and raw entertainment to today’s land of showmanship, celebrity, glitz and glamour. Nothing is as it once was and many of those people we once believed to be infallible superheroes, our saviours and those that we cheered for, have been devoured by time and made obsolete by evolution.

And yet despite that, it is with this clock, it is by watching the clock’s turning hands that we see the first man to defy…to defeat…evolution. 16 and 0. The list, a who’s who of wrestling. The biggest names, the most recognisable images, the greatest phenomenon in our little world. It belongs, of course, to The Undertaker.

The respect this man gets is unprecedented. We saw the WWE split like the red sea before him. He has defeated every recognisable name in this industry. He is as relevant today as he was the night he debuted nineteen long years ago. He transcends Wrestlemania and to many he is Wrestlemania. The Undertaker may very well be one of a kind, the only of his kind to ever grace a wrestling ring or to ever lace his boots. His legend, his legacy is one that will never be forgotten and that is…one…reason he has defeated the passage of time, the progression of evolution. There is another.

Seventeen. Eighteen. Twenty one. Twenty three.

What do these numbers have in common? Is there a pattern? Perhaps there is an underlying mathematical sequence? Or perhaps it is with these four simple numbers that The Undertaker proved his name will last forever.

Before Wrestlemania X-Seven, The Game Triple H had claimed to have defeated everybody that there was to defeat. The Undertaker pointed out his wrong. The two engaged in a memorable war; the iconic image of Triple H sat on a chair pressing into ‘Taker’s neck claiming to be famous for crippling people is one that will last with me forever. He failed to cripple the Phenom. Despite some underhand tactics and his faithful friend, Triple H fell before The Deadman. He had asserted his dominance in the present.

In late 2001 the world saw Ric Flair return to the WWE for the first time since the early 90s. It did not take him long to step back into a ring, defeating Vince McMahon at Royal Rumble 2002. The Undertaker soon took notice of Naitch. They embarked in a bitter rivalry that remains under-rated to this day. Having had his friends targeted and his family attacked Ric Flair opted to wrestle The Undertaker. His mistake was doing it at Wrestlemania. Not even the 16 times World Heavyweight Champion could quell the beast. Ric Flair fell before The Deadman. He had established his dominance over the past.

He became the youngest World Heavyweight Champion in wrestling history. It didn’t last long. Randy Orton was soon without that belt, soon being defeated by The Game. His quest for fame, fortune and a name of his own did not stop there though. Having been ousted from ‘Evolution’ Orton set his sights on The Streak. It was a mistake he lived to regret. Even his legendary father could not save him; Orton had dug his grave and soon he was lying in it at the feet of The Deadman, fallen and defeated. ‘Taker was taking over the future.

It was in the Motor City that ‘Taker set his sights on championship glory once again. But between his win at the Rumble and his main event at Wrestlemania stood the Animal Batista. Bred by the best and prepared for the best the World Heavyweight Champion took it like no other to The Deadman. Tables, diving shoulders, not even a Bomb could put away the anomaly in time. Despite a valiant effort, even Batista, the last line of defence, fell to The Deadman. ‘Taker had finally asserted his dominance over the future.

He had proved to be timeless.

The Undertaker transcends time. His legacy will last forever, longer than that of Hulk Hogan, longer than that of “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, longer than that of John Cena. He’s never the focal point but just like Simon in Lord of the Flies you are always aware of his presence in the background. He is exempt from the curve. He has not only outlasted evolution, he has defeated it.


“…it is the blind watchmaker.”

Evolution, time…they’re unstoppable. We will never have the means to defy them. In our little world their effects are perhaps more immediately noticeable than elsewhere. Everything moves much quicker and it is a nigh impossible task to keep pace with the forward march. If you’re will doesn’t break first, then your body will.

And yet our world is one of the superhuman. Feats of strength, toughness and durability occur where elsewhere they would seem if not impossible then highly improbable. In our world of miracles, surprises and the down right unimaginable every now and then there will come an anomaly. Something different, unique, a light set apart from the stars. Sometimes a name is more than a name, a man more than a man. Sometimes they can forge for themselves a lasting memory that survives time and defeats the entire process of evolution. They may pass like mortal men, but they will never become obsolete.

Lou Thesz is still talked about to this day. In twenty, thirty, forty years time, it will not be Hulk Hogan that people talk of. It will not be “Stone Cold” Steve Austin that people will remember foremost. It will be The Undertaker and the story of the man that was above the rest and how his career was an Ode to Evolution in more ways than one.

He is not the first man to defy the process of evolution and to remain relevant beyond his mortal coil. Nor will he be the last.

A man once said that the times, they are a’changing. The Undertaker will last forever. Once his physical self departs our world there will be another ready to take his place for the next twenty years, who in himself will forge his own legacy for the future and his own lasting memory, who in himself will become the next anomaly on the graph.

Randy Orton.


“The times, they are a’changin’.”

Fate revealed to me that its good friends of time and evolution will themselves be unable to end The Undertaker’s legend. She also showed me that for every star that goes out in our world there is always another to replace it. In this case, that other is the youngest World Heavyweight Champion in history.

Just like The Undertaker, in years to come he may not always be at the forefront or the guy that shifts the merch, but like The Undertaker he will always be there. He will always outlast those in the spotlight. Orton is truly the next legend in this industry and in fifty years time his name will be at the level occupied by only one other.

The Undertaker.

[Cult Icon]

this was outstanding. i didnt think there was anyway you could best your last column so quickly, but youve managed to do so. the concept of it was quite good and you built it up very well. i also agree with your points, and its a shame more people dont talk about taker or orton eventually reaching that level of legend. youre a really good writer and i cant wait for your next column. great job

[Martin Riggs]

Fantastic stuff!

I really like how this piece 'felt'. Rather grandoise and timeless in itself. And, in credit to your writing skills, at several points i was halfway through a paragraph when i realised what exactly you were talking about, but the desire to hear you say it spurred me on, to finish reading.

Excellent stuff, sir!

[Swanton Bomb]

'Plan, this was absolutely unbelievable. This is by far one of the better columns of 2009, and it stands out a lot.

I can't wait to read your next column, you're going to have a very hard time topping this.

[The Maz]

For some reason I really struggled to get into this at first. That could however be just me not being at my most relaxed right now but I really had to fight skimming the column. That said, by the time I got to the meat of the column it was no longer an issue and I was engrossed in your writing. I really loved the concept here and it was very very clever indeed. Your hot form is definately continuing and I get the feeling you will be making a big push for CotM for March. Oh and thnaks for keeping the magenta to a minimum.

['Plan]

Cult Icon ~ I feel 'Taker gets the respect he deserves if I'm honest and I'm sure no one doubts how big a name he will go down as. Orton deserves more credit though and I do honestly feel he will take 'Takers place as the long running legend of the future that rosters part the way for. I'm glad to see I'm not writing anti-climactic pieces and fingers crossed I can give Funaki the same treatment I've given 'Taker here! Thanks for reading and feeding back.

JohnnyBoomerang ~ Grandiose? Timless? Damn, those there are compliments if ever I've heard some! Glad you enjoyed the piece and thanks for reading and feeding back.

Swanton Bomb ~ I shall see what I can do for #29! If I can't top it I'll sure as hell try and equal it! I'm glad you enjoyed the column enough to rate it so highly and thanks for reading and feeding back.

Mazza ~ Awww, and I was doing so well! Hahah, I jest. It's always relieving to hear the concept works as a lot of the time, particularly with this one, I await nervously for confirmation that it has. Sometimes I feel unsure about it. If CotM happens it will be highly appreciate but it isn't something I specifically aim for. Thanks for the compliment though! And yeah, I thought it best to just make the opening/closing comments magenta; don't wanna put people off because of the strain on their eyes. Thanks for reading and feeding back as always.

[romans_3:23]

Plan,

This was excellent - probably your finest column to date. I loved your topic and your execution was flawless.

You've really written some spectacular columns lately, and I believe that you should be the first in line whenever folks are considered for an open main page spot. You have a solid track record, and now your work has become stellar.

Read you later

[anonymous]

Just some mediocre chav.

I fucking adored it.

['Plan]

romans_3:23 ~ Dude, that's quite an epic compliment right there and I thank you for it. Maybe a MP call up is in my future, maybe not. All we can do is wait and see. As for it being my finest work today, I think that remains my CSI effort that beat Monkey but again, I thank you greatly for the compliment. It's always good to hear from one of my favourite columnists so thanks for reading and feeding back!

anonymous ~ Yay! Your feedback made me smile. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and feeding back...and please come home to us soon!