The Failed Parachute 5 : Special Edition - KANE ...dont like Kane dont click

[The Failed Parachute]

The Failed Parachute 5 - Kane

Special Edition


Oi Oi Saveloy’s




I welcome you all to this special edition of The Failed Parachute. As a celebration of getting to my 5th column I am going to write on one of the main pillars that hold up my love of wrestling….Kane. This column will focus on the Kane character so don’t look for a lot on the development of Glen Jacobs as a wrestler but more my personal take on some of the highs and lows of Kane’s 11 year career.



Let me start of by stating something Ive done before in my previous columns, the first PPV I ever saw when i was a adorable young lad was the Royal Rumble 2000. The first ever match I remember watching was

Kane Vs The Rock Vs the Big Show – in a over the top Royal Rumble preview match of which the big red machine won.

As a kid of 10-11 Kane was the coolest looking thing there was on WWE TV. Sure I loved the Rock and many others but Kane was huge, he was dark, he was a real life monster.

As you can gather the Kane character is important to me as a WWE fan, he was in the first ever PPV I watched and the last. Ive grown up watching this guy and even though he has been dealt some ridiculous cards and I'm talking getting dealt the “how to play stud poker” card during a game of poker, type cards. In fact for funsys here is a list of people who were on the card at Royal Rumble 2000 and who is still active in the WWE today.

- Kane
- Triple H
- Bradshaw
- Chris Jericho
- Edge
- Christian
- The Big Show

Not a long list actually. So those are some of the guys’ I've grown up with, watching Saturday mornings, setting the VCR for etc. Kane is part of the elite in my book, a group of wrestlers who cannot be touched, who have so many memories attached to them they will always hold a place with me. These are the guys I watched tapes of as a kid, mesmerized and entertained, sure they’re are people very close to this list but here is the

Frogs Elite

Kane
The Rock
Undertaker
Mick Foley
Shawn Michaels

These five will never be touched no matter what they do (well as long as it doesn’t result in widespread news coverage…………………)

Enough with the personal history lets delve into the demented.

Good:
Sibling Rivalry



The Kane character wasn’t just a new superstar to be a monstrous force for WWE it was crucial in the development of the Undertakers character. It introduced an emotional and more tormented side to Taker which was lacking. When looking at the beginning of this feud the part played by Paul Bearer should not be overlooked, his skill as a manager was paramount here. Lets look at this story, ill simplify for fans who have heard it millions of times

• Paul Bearer was a friend and employee of Undertakers parents who ran a funeral home.
• Undertaker accidentally burns down the funeral home killing his parents and scaring his younger brother.
• Undertaker believes Kane is dead; Paul Bearer puts him (Kane) in mental asylum.
• Paul Bearer forms a partnership with Undertaker
• Undertaker beats the many chins of Paul Bearer a few too many times
• Bearer wants vengeance and decides to bring in Kane from the mental asylum.

The rest is WWE history.
During the first feud between the two they put on some of the biggest matches at the time.
Wrestlemania 14 – brother Vs brother
Excluding the main event this was the biggest match on the card.
Unforgiven – Inferno Match
a new and brutal match type that is part of Kanes legacy.
Breakdown - Kane Vs Undertaker Vs Austin
Judgment Day – Kane Vs Undertaker
As focus shifted towards the McMahon’s along with the Ministry Kane and the Undertaker went they separate ways.

The feud was rekindled over 5 years after the two originally faced off. After an unmasked deranged Kane interfered in a McMahon Taker Buried Alive match the Undertaker would return to his deadman roots. I only knew “Classic” Undertaker through watching videos and events; I knew and loved the Undertaker we saw after Judgment Day 2000. The American bad ass Undertaker went through some great feuds and I had mixed feelings coming up to Wrestlemania 20.

I did thoroughly enjoy the build up to the match. Being such a fan of the two there was no way I wouldn’t like this match. Let’s see if I can remember some of the stuff leading up to this match, Undertaker wasn’t on TV from Survivor Series to Wrestlemania that means it was all down to vignettes, promos and Kane to build this match.
- Collapsing / rocking ring (while Kane as standing in it)
- Rainstorm on Kane on ramp
- Numerous pyro explosions
- The now classic Taker lights going out gimmick
Kane played his part perfectly and the two put on a match to meet the hype. I’m not stupid I know the match was basically a vehicle to bring back the deadman taker but you need someone with the legitimacy of Kane not to mention the history, to brink him back.

In WWE legend some feuds are infamous, Rock Vs Austin, Austin Vs McMahon
Michaels Vs Bret to name a few. I'm sure Undertaker Vs Kane is up there and is a big part of WWE recent history ---- as it should be.

Kane fact * - Kane does not perform the Tombstone Piledriver on a regular basis anymore due to damage to his knees.

Good
2001




This year saw the big red machine enjoy a level of success he has not seen since. He was a main event player and had the title reigns to back it up. Let’s look at 2001 and see why it was Kane’s year.

Royal Rumble – Every year when Kane’s number is called the statistic is brought up – 11 eliminations 1 rumble match. This is the year Kane eliminated over a third of the competitors and dominated. I can not see this record being broken nor do I want to see it again, this is a piece of history, a legacy not just for Kane but the Royal Rumble match itself.

Wrestlemania 17 – Oh yes some negative people will argue, Kane dominated in the rumble, was the last man eliminated and then he goes on to feud for the Hardcore Championship?? I say it made sense; it kept Kane in the spot light, lead to a great hardcore triple threat at the best Wrestlemania ever with Kane opening the show.It also built Kane up as tough and dangerous for upcoming feuds.

Brothers of Destruction – 2001 really saw the emergence of what I think of when I hear the name Brothers of Destruction, American Bad Ass Undertaker and tank top, full mask Kane. I loved this team growing up, putting my two favourite superstars together in a brother tag team what could be better. I spent endless Saturday mornings watching these two do tandem choke slams; power bombs etc and loved every second. The team also meant Kane was almost main event worthy by proxy. His brother Undertaker was feuding with the WWF Champion who at that time was Austin and one half of the “Two Man Power Trip” so Kane was an obvious choice to take on Triple H in coming months.

Intercontinental Champion – As a result of the Brothers of Destruction Vs Power Trip feud Kane took on Triple H in a chain match at Judgment Day 2001 where when Kane got the pin he received one of the biggest pops of his career.

Invasion – Oh the Invasion storyline was great for our big red friend. He was one of the WWFs biggest players, taking part in both the Invasion tag match and the Survivor series winner take all brawl. The Brothers of Destruction dominated any of the alliance put in there way winning both the WWF and WCW Tag Team Titles in the process. Not even Kronik could take them down!!!



So to sum up 2001, Kane won the following
• Royal Rumble Record
• WWF Hardcore Championship
• Intercontinental Championship
• WWF Tag Team Championships
• WCW Tag Team Championship

BAD
Fake Kane



Part storyline part marketing campaign this was a confusing mess from start to finish. Basically Kane was tormented with voices and videos from an unknown source focusing around his mask and past. It was then revealed that Kane was being tormented by …..1998 Kane. This made no sense and went nowhere a lot like most of my sentences in fact I wa.
Kane had a movie coming out “See no Evil” and this was meant to promote it…..HOW! why not just have Kane stalk people or divas backstage kind of like in the film? No they get a guy dressed in the old Kane attire. There’s not really a lot you can write about this angle as it didn’t lead anyway and nothing was explained. On an episode of Raw, Kane threw the impostor out of the arena and removed his mask, saying "I believe that this is mine."
This whole storyline was a tease to people who wanted to see the mask back .Kane maybe putting his mask back on???? Oooh this could be awesome...and……………………………..nope –similar to the “whats in Kane’s burlap bag” thing.
As a result of this angle we can say Festus holds a PPV win over Kane.

BAD
Miscarriages………in Wrestling



Ok I don’t think I’ll be arguing why this storyline was awful. Kane was a big player, challenging the likes of Benoit and HBK after his Wrestlemania 20 loss. Upset he didn’t have an heir (yeah - what?) to carry on his legacy (we need Wrestlemania jobbers!!) Kane ultimately impregnated Lita who was Matt Hardy's squeeze at the time. Hey at least this one had a pulse. As you can imagine the two feuded, leading to a Summerslam showdown which I’m pretty sure appears on both the Hardy and Kane DVDs so there were some glimours of hope in this angle BUT that’s about it. Why did this angle SUCK? let the frog use his beloved bullet points
- Lita would have to be off TV is she was pregnant or gave birth
- Kane’s heir if you will would not debut realistically for 20 – 30 years so whats the fucking point.
- Gene Snitsky...enough said
- Did not play to Kane strengths as a character
There are some things wrestling does not need to cover and Kane has been involved in more than his fair share. Wrestling is a family business, it is, the risqué days of the attitude era are long gone, and the success of the attitude era brought in such a big audience WWE had to become better at catering to a wider audience. Like I was saying there are some things wrestling does not need to cover miscarriages… and necrophilia are on that list. If I watched that kind of stuff when I was 10-11 when I started, I wouldn’t know what to think.
Off course we know Snitsky made Kane fall on Lita causing a miscarriage and “It wasn’t my fault”. Kane went on with his “wife” to feud with the likes of Viscera ………….THANK GOD for Edge ruining Matts life. Kane fell out of the feud when Edge and Matt had there….how should I say …little disagreement.

Good
Tag Team Monster



In total Kane has held 10 tag team championships

9 WWE Tag Championship Reigns - Mankind (2), X-Pac (2), The Undertaker (2), The Hurricane (1), Rob Van Dam (1), and The Big Show (1)
1 WCW Tag Team Championship Reign - Undertaker

The Kane character lends itself so well to tag team competition it really is no surprise he has had such success in this field. Each reign added to his character and worked in terms of storyline, from the loner maniac being forced into a team with fellow freak Mankind to X-Pac making Kane lighten up only to crush him and Rob Van Dam trying to prevent his decent into madness after unmasking.
Kane’s great tag team moments:
• The Raw Roulette TLC. In this match Kane single handily defended the WWE Tag Titles against Jeff Hardy + RVD, Jericho + Christian and the Dudley Boyz. This match was voted RAWs all time best match at the 10th anniversary yet was not even mentioned at the 15th. To quote one of Kane’s tag partners “WHATS UP WIT DAT”
• The Brothers of Destruction's domination.
• Kaneanites Kane with the Hurricanes short lived team. These two were comedy gold together both masked wrestlers both talented.
• Kane and Big Show “there’s another door”.

Bad
Katie Vick



When I watched Armageddon 1999 on video I was kind of disgusted in the whole Big Show Big Bossman storyline, in short Big Bossman played on Big Shows dad dying going as far to bully his crying widow and stealing the coffin. It really was absolute shit and anyone who knows what I'm talking about will agree. I watched this and thought “god they cant do this kind of fucking shit anymore” then BANG my favorite wrestler gets put in something equally bad if not worse.
If you’re reading this you know all the horrible details of this angle so I won’t bore you (anymore) going into this.

• Fucked with the back-story of Kane so he was put in a mental asylum by Paul Bearer but got out to try and score with his high school girlfriend OH WAIT high school? ……………yeah the scarred demented boy went to school.
• When researching wrestling angles and wrestlers you shouldn’t read stuff like “Triple H then claimed Kane raped the corpse” JESUS yeah that’s good TV!!
• I remember the Triple H enema video shown the week after the infamous Triple H funeral home skit. JESUS yeah that’s good TV!!
• Lead to unmasking and the most hilarious interview with J.R. Now the interview itself wasn’t the funny thing but after getting mighty cross Kane set Jimmy on fire, we see a stunt man burning moving very very slowly but a recording of J.R screaming in pure agony……..hilarious.

Now I know there are some who will try and defend this storyline stating how it allowed Kane to be in so many high profile matches. I can see what they mean, this was when Kane was it his highest in terms of stature in the company but boy did he drop. Also I understand that unmasking Kane is a double edged sword.
Keep him masked where does he go, what do you do with him? Unmask him gives his career new life but upsets most of his fans.

Good
Kaneanites



Ok now most fans watching WWE will have no idea what I’m talking about but this was a fantastic gimmick. It was around 02/03 when the Kane character showed a lighter side, he had a new look, a new masks and was surprising many in a more comedic role. This is a personal favorite time of the mans career, the whole “chicks dig the mask” thing was priceless. At this time there were three people who made WWE worth watching for me
- Kane , Booker T, Goldust
With youtube anyone can go back and watch some of the hilarious promos all three of these men were apart of. The Rock had his millions AND millions of fans, Hogan had his Hulkamaniacs but Kane had his Kaneanites and I was and still am a huge Kaneanite!

Kane fact * In his career Kane has been on 10 Wrestlemania cards (11 including 25)



It will come as no surprise when I say Kane’s career is winding down. In the last ¾ years the Kane character has not been pushed in any serious fashion, lets just look at some of the mans big feuds in the last few years
- Great Khali
- Boogeyman
- Umaga
- Mark Henry
- Big Daddy V
Well it doesn’t take a genius to see a trend in those opponents. In my opinion Kane is not at his best against other monsters. Put the guy against someone whos going to benefit from beating the big red monster a monster beats Kane where does he go then? he is limited; a upstart like MVP or Kennedy when they beat him could use it to go forward.
Kane moving to RAW was a great draft move, it gave him new opponents and pumped a bit of life back in to his career. The fact of the matter is Kane has been in most of the main event matches in recent times. Elimination chambers, Scramble matches you name it.
Why?
He hasn’t held a major singles championship (excluding the ECW) since 2002! But hes work Is so well known that when he is put in one of these high profile matches you accept it. This shows the Kane character is so well established and so well portrayed that he will always be a monster.
In 11 years Kane has been an integral part of the WWE, he was a player in the attitude era and now portraying a more PG monster. He has been involved some of the most ludicrous and off putting storylines in WWE history BUT he stays credible and recovers.

Yes this column has been about me and my love of Kane but It also highlights that every fan, everyone reading a site like this has that one guy, that one performer that kept them glued to the screen, someone who conjures up nostalgia when ever they see them. For me it will always be the Big Red Machine hey you can call me a Big Red Mark, I don’t care …….who's that guy for you?

[Cult Icon]

i loved your passion in this column. i too was a big kane fan back when he had the mask and while i still like him, i cant say its been the same in a long time. probably cause i know he'll never win a major title again, which is a shame.

again, i thought it was quite good, just a few minor tweaks to it here and there. oh, and i believe the hardys were on the 2000 royal rumble card against the dudleys but i could be wrong. other than that mistake and a few times where the column seemed to jump around, i enjoyed it. another good column.

btw, jeff hardy is to me what kane is to you lol

[Smarmy]

I enjoyed this column, good read and love how much of a fan you are of Kane. He is a great character and one of the best big men wrestlers in history. And i think if they wanted to put the world title on him again, give him 3 months of build up and it would be believable because he is so damn good at being a monster. Very under rated promo man too.

Another thing i liked too was since his unmasking he played a vicious monster heel to playing a face and his character and how he played it didnt change at all. He didnt play to the crowd or smile and wave. He was exactly the same character, coming to the ring with a scowl on his face and still the same sick laugh. And it worked which shows his talent.

Just one thing i thought Kane was the one who burned down the funeral home not Undertaker?

And the guy for me has been Shawn Michaels

[Martin Riggs]

awesome, you really captured your passion here. There were a few grammatical and spelling mistakes, but that doesn't change the fact that i couldn't stop reading from start to finish!

My favourite Kane moment ever was when he cut a promo against the Rock and Hogan backstage, stealing both of their catchphrases. Comic genius that is Glenn Jacobs!

Great read man, i'll be back for more (oh and for me, it's Edge)

[The Failed Parachute]

Oh you are right my friend i over looked the Hardys, they were indeed on the card and i missed it cheers you eagled eyed man.

[Cult Icon]

lol thank you. i only know cause theyre match w the dudleys is on my hardy boyz dvd. just happened to be chance i knew it lol

[Petre Dyche]

Great profile piece on one of the best things to come from the attitude era. He's always been something special, but sadly his boat may have sailed now with age catching up. I'll always remember the backstage segment with Hogan and the Rock when he just cut them up and completely overtook them for charisma!

It's a shame he isn't more highly decorated for what has been an incredible career. I'd like to have seen him hold the ECW title for a lot longer, as he could easily fit into the regular WWE style, but also put on some top notch hardcore matches.

I liked how it was set out, and the wordplay was great. You celebrated the good times, but also damned the poor times with the thinly veiled sarcasm they deserved.

[The Maz]

Hey chute - I am not feeding you back too much but I am dropping by and enjoying your columns. There is not much to say really as they are solid across the board... strong writing style, interesting views and put together really well and this one is no exception with a intresting piece on one of the most interesting men in wrestling. Keep up the good work.

[FeckOffCup]

Great stuff as always then again i too love Kane. When he had finger eleven his theme tune was the best in WWE.

Awesome!

[ca$hmoney]

Great job again froggy. I like how you were able to make a whole column out of Kane and it makes others think of their favorite wrestler. Hopefully he can get one more title run before he retires.

[Jason Boy]

A great read, one thing that i think should be changed is centering you images other than this was a great column

[The Big Red Machine]

Fantastic column. Keep up the good work. Good to see there is still plenty of respect for the man.