(CSI) TRUE TIME with Sean Taylor I: Psyche!

[Sean_Taylor]

Welcome Taylor-ers and Taylor-ettes and welcome to another edition of the column that is as smart as a Big Bang Theory/Frasier crossover episode, TRUE TIME with Sean Taylor. The topic of this column has been rolling around in my head for a long time and now is the time it gets to play out and play. But before we get to that, let’s take a look at some disturbing current events.

Christian Returns With All The Fanfare of a Sunday Morning Tee Time

Christian made his triumphant return to the WWE and if you watched it, you saw that Todd Grisham couldn’t have cared less. Someone needs to give Todd a wake up call. Christian was a mid-to-major player when he left WWE and even became a TNA World Champion on a number of occasions. Todd Grisham announced his return with all the enthusiasm of a prom queen watching a nerd playing World of Warcraft. Maybe Grisham is so clueless that he doesn’t know who Christian was or what his return means. Or maybe Grisham, like me, was more stunned that he made his big return on the WWE’s “C” show. What the fuck? Seriously. He challenged Swagger for the title and lost. Ok. Great. Many people are telling me “Sean, you know he’s going to either Raw or SmackDown during the draft”. Fine. Great. Then explain to me one thing. Why bother putting him on ECW in the first place? ECW is the place for young guys trying to make it and older stars who can’t hack it anymore. Christian is neither.

On the other hand, judging by the crowd’s reaction, I think the number of people who were anticipating Christian’s return was grossly over-estimated.

Respect Your Elders

Chris Jericho has been pulling off some of the greatest promos and greatest confrontation with some of the biggest legends in the business. I’ve always loved the old school versus new school wrestler storylines. I loved how intense the Edge/Michael Hayes promo was a couple of years ago. The best part about this Jericho storyline is that we’re seeing the greats of wrestling doing what they did best – show their passion and cut awesome promos. We are being talked into buying WrestleMania just by Jericho pointing out the flaws in the legends’ careers. First he gets in Flair’s face, then Piper’s, and this past week, Steamboat’s. I have not seen the passion coming from these legends in professional wrestling for a very long time. Kind of makes you wonder why only a handful of guys on television these days show that same passion, doesn't it?

The only downside of this whole Jericho/legends storyline is that it’s apparently not going anywhere. There’s no match that it’s officially building to. I can’t imagine Jericho being left off the card entirely or worse, being put in the Money In The Bank match. Something tells me this is being built towards either Jericho vs Austin or Jericho vs Rourke. If I had a choice, I’d prefer Jericho vs Austin but I’d honestly prefer a surprise here. I don’t have any suggestions but I just want to be shocked. Or at least have a cool storyline. I don’t know. Yeah. Moving on.

If It Ain’t Broke, FIX IT!!

I was sitting at a friend’s house watching Raw as I always do. We were arguing over whether or not what was happening was cool, which we always do. His wife was chastising us for never being satisfied with anything that happens and bitching about it, like she always does. Suddenly, my friend made a great point. Why does the WWE stop doing storylines and gimmick that works? I know it’s almost a clichéd complaint these days but it’s a valid point. Charlie Haas was gaining fans and supporters each and every week. His parodies were entertaining because he wasn’t just dressing up, he was dressing up AND wrestling. And then he started winning. It was reminiscent of Barry Horrowitz’s first win. I made me feel like I won too. But then nothing. He vanishes off television and now I’m watching for his name as the newest member of the Future Endeavours Club (props to KMA Jackson for that name). Same thing goes for Santino Marella and the Honk-A-Meter. What a great gimmick! It was so funny and it was giving the Intercontinental Title some much-needed prestige. But then the WWE gives it to Regal just to get a cheap face pop in England. I’ll restate that. They wanted to give the heel William Regal a cheap face pop. Then what happened? Regal barely defended the title because the wittle wussy had a cwold and when CM Punk started challenging for the title, fans said, “Oh yeah. Regal had the belt. That’s right.” Stop taking away shit that makes me want to watch. Orton with his monkey arms and piss-poor promo skills doesn’t make me want to watch. Maybe I’m alone here but I shouldn’t be.

PSYCHE!

I’m a pretty easygoing guy. I love professional wrestling. I have been a fan through all of the good times and bad times. I can let a lot of things go but there are a couple things that just get my goat. The biggest thing isn’t what happens in the ring, who does it, or any current storyline. It’s something so basic that it should be invisible but is so essential to a match; even a main event is nothing without it. It’s ring psychology and there is becoming a serious shortage in today’s day in age.

When I’m talking about ring psychology, I’m not talking about always knowing where you and your opponent are at all times during the match. It’s not even about what moves work best after doing certain moves. Ring psychology is all about why something happens in the ring. Why did a wrestler go for a body slam? Why did he attempt that high-risk move? Why was his opponent where he was? Why is this guy a babyface? Why is that guy a heel? Why should the fans cheer or boo a certain guy? Unfortunately, there’s so little ring psychology in the business these days. Even guys, who used to have great psychology, don’t use it anymore. They are only a few guys use it properly like Triple H, Edge, Shawn Michaels, and Chris Jericho. Every move they execute is done purposefully and for the right reason. It’s not just the actually moves themselves but every head turn, every look into the crowd, every facial expression, every taunt, and every step is done for a reason. That reason is help the audience, both live and on television, suspend their disbelief that what they’re watching is real. A wrestler, regardless of storyline, should always be showing the audience that they are trying to win the match and also trying not to lose. If you’re trying to win the match, explain to me the reasoning behind knocking your opponent onto the mat – where you can pin him thus winning the match – and then picking him back up just to do another move that will knock him down again. Does that make sense? It shouldn’t. Even the smarkiest of wrestling fans love to pretend that wrestling is real just for one match and proper ring psychology makes it so much easier to do that.

Unfortunately, it has been very hard to watch the actual wrestling matches these days. Psychology seems to be as rare as a virgin on prom night. I place the blame on one man – Jeff Hardy. Jeff and his brother Matt are self-taught wrestlers who worked their way onto the WWE stage. The difference between Matt and Jeff is that Matt wised up to how the business works and Jeff just continued to take off his shirt and flop around the ring. Look back on the ladder and TLC matches of the late 1990s and early 2000s. You’ll see that while the flying swantons and high-risk moves were impressive to see, they were completely pointless. As a wrestler, your goal is to win the match. How can you win a match when you’re just as hurt as your opponent because you both went through four tables stacked on top of each other? It’s stupid. If you were in a fight in real life, you wouldn’t punch yourself as hard as you punched the other guy. We’re supposed to believe that wrestling is real, but you’re telling us that you’re not even trying to win the match. I'd probably be better off watching that Looney Tunes episode of that stupid singing frog that only one guy can see. (And I HATE that frog. Almost as much as I hate Road Runner cartoons.) The worst part about Jeff Hardy is that, because of his high profile pay-per-view matches during wrestling’s hottest era, he has inspired a whole new generation of wrestlers who never bothered to learn psychology from the very beginning of their careers. This created the biggest group of ring psychology rapists in the business today. TNA.

TNA. Where ring psychology goes to die.

TNA is the proud of home of the X-Division. The X-Division is home to laziest bunch of wrestlers walking God’s green earth. You’d know that if you watch TNA, which I assume you don’t since their highest rating ever was a piss-poor 1.2. I offer up as evidence of my point Bound For Glory 2005. An Ultimate X Match. How do you win the match? Gain possession of the red, cardboard X. Simple, right? Get the X. How much easier could it be? But wait a minute; there was a technical problem. The X fell the hook. Then what happened? Everyone stopped and looked angrily to the back. Why? Because now they couldn’t set up the next big flippity-flop move they planned on doing. So instead of diving for the X and thus winning the match, they told the entire audience that they really weren’t trying to win the match. Therefore there was no reason for the match to happen. The audience’s time was just completely wasted by a bunch of brainless spot-monkeys who are too selfish to realize that the proper psychology of the match is about telling a story and not showing off their pretty move set. But it goes beyond just that match. The TerrorDome match at Sacrifice 2008. One guy was climbing up the side of the cage. As a second guy is trying to knock him off the cage, eight other wrestlers, who were just knocked out with a big move a second ago, somehow gain super recovery powers, quickly stand up, and carefully placed themselves into just the right spot to catch the first guy when he’s finally knocked off the cage. They were just knocked out and now they're standing? Have these mindless morons never watched a Batman cartoon. Hell, even Superman stayed down while Lex Luther got away once or twice.

Of course, some of the wrestlers in the WWE are just as bad as those in TNA. Take The Undertaker for example. I have the utmost respect for the Undertaker but there’s nothing about him these that makes any sense. His music hits and the lights go out. He slowly and methodically walks to the ring. He slowly climbs through the ropes and slowly walks to the corner. He slowly and methodically removes his jacket and hat. He stands in his corner majestically and not moving an inch to intimidate his opponent. Then the bell rings. All of sudden, the Undertaker puts up his fists in front of his face, hops around the ring like a MMA fighter, and uses a submission finishing hold. Excuse me? Is this guy the Dead Man or is he Tito Ortiz? If he can bounce around the ring like a trained striker, why does it take four solid minutes for him to walk to the ring? A part of ring psychology is consistency. The Undertaker portrays one character before and after the bell and another during the matches. A lot of people say there’s nothing special about the Undertaker anymore. Could this dual personality have something to do with it? When he was the Phenom, he was the Phenom all the time and was popular. When he was the American Bad Ass, he was the American Bad Ass all the time and was popular. Now he’s a Dead Man who frowards his first persona into a street fighter and suddenly he’s just not the same. Hmmmm. If you're going to be the Undertaker, be the damn Undertaker. Quit pretending to be something you're not. Go back to being the unstoppable, impervious to pain character you started off as. At least then your blatant old age won't hinder your performance, it'll help it.

But these are large examples of poor ring psychology. What really defalcates the suspension of disbelief for me are the little things that happen on every single wrestling card. Rest holds don’t exist. The belief these days is that when a pair of wrestlers need a minute to catch their breath, they lock themselves into a rest hold. But in the realm of kayfabe, the purpose of the hold is to make the victim submit. So logically the guy in the hold should be fighting as hard as he can to get out and not just sitting there breathing heavily. When your older brother put you into headlock as kids, did you just calmly wait until he let go or did you try to get him off of you? The same goes for injured body parts. If Wrestler A spends most of the match working on Wrestler B’s legs, Wrestler B shouldn’t be able to walk around perfectly fine during the match of the match and then start to limp once the bell rings. Even gimmick matches come with their own psychology. How many times have you seen an Item on a Pole Match where the competitors spend the first half of the match fighting and completely ignoring the item hanging above the ring. If there is a weapon that is legal in the match, it should be used and used often since that’s the point of the match in the first place. Remember that episode of The Simpsons when Homer played Poochie the Dog and they played the first Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show? Remember how the cartoon started off with Itchy and Scratchy driving to the fireworks factory? Then they ran into Poochie and he went into this totally unnecessary rap introduction song and Millhouse whined, "When are they going to get to the fireworks factory?" It is the exact same situation when you don't go for the item on the pole. We see the item. It's right there. We're all waiting for you get it and you're out on the floor on the other side of the ring. We the fans are all whining in our heads, "When are they going to get the item off the pole and use it?"

This match will be remembered more than any other match on the card. Why? Great psychology.

Good match psychology may be hard to learn but once it’s mastered, it can change the entire scope of a match. Shawn Michaels versus Ric Flair at WrestleMania XXIV was a prime example of how using ring psychology can really make a match great. The story was strong going into the match but more importantly, the story during the match was excellent. As J.R. would say, they were two artists that painted a masterpiece was a refreshingly effervescent change to the normal wrestling match. The audience was drawn to the match and when Michaels mouthed, “I’m sorry. I love you,” the audience had tears in their eyes. As a matter of fact, I’ll bet some of you just fought back tears yourself. That is exactly what ring psychology is all about. Drawing the audience into the story and making them feel an emotional attachment to what they are seeing. We want to be involved in the match. We are dying to be involved in the match. But when wrestlers don't even believe in their own psychology, why should we? So instead we are all watching the TitanTron to see if we're onscreen so we can hold up our signs. I beg all of you professional wrestlers out there reading this, please make us put down the signs and force us to watch the match. After all, it IS your job.

In the end, ring psychology can make a match, character, or storyline memorable. Sadly, today’s landscape doesn’t provide a lot of it. But wrestling has always been a game with peaks and valleys. I can only hope and dream that the next generation realizes the value of ring psychology and utilize it to make the future of professional wrestling the next Golden Era.

As always, feedback is appreciated. Thanks again and I hope you have enjoyed this edition of TRUE TIME With SEAN TAYLOR. Stay tuned for more exciting columns to come.

[Martin Riggs]

You know what? I really liked this. Generally, as a column, i think it was excellent, as you picked a topic and went to detail to explain it, which is always good.
And then, in terms of the CSI, this is, in my opinion, fairly accurate with regards to a Ry_P column. Structurally and size-wise, it was fairly spot on!

Oh, and:
"If you were in a fight in real life, you wouldn’t punch yourself as hard as you punched the other guy."

- one of the best lines i think I've EVER read! Genius.

[SkittleZ]

Splendid effort, Sean T.

As far as layout and format, you had Ripe's column style perfected.

For someone who writes mostly history columns, this damn sure was entertaining.

LOL @ the dude in the column banner. It looks like Ripe 10-15 years from now gone to hell.

And I'm totally with you on WWE ditching good gimmicks and storylines. Charlie Haas got the fucking shaft!

Just like with Mazzaball, your opponent will be hard pressed to produce something better than this beauty.

[Petre Dyche]

You don't need me to tell you how awesome that was. Cos as we all know, 80% of the time, Sean Taylor is awesome every time.

[The Maz]

- Essence captured - check
- Hot column - check
- Ry's work cut out - check

You have got Ry's style down whilst writing an interesting column. Your thoughts on Jeff were a tab controvertial but hard to argue with. Great job and maybe, just maybe we will meet in the final.

[Roger Murtaugh]

Pretty much agreed with the bulk of what you had to say here. I don't think all the X-Division guys are guilty of the crimes they are accused of but overall I think it's a fair assessment.

As usual you show why you are a beast at this column writing gig, and along with Mazza have really shown just how multi-dimensional you guys truly are to those who may have doubted you.



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Now playing: Lamb Of God - Set To Fail
via FoxyTunes

[ca$hmoney]

After reading this, I will look differently at every match I watch from now on. I liked your strong opinions that some might consider controversial, but you were able to back them up. This was amazing

[Leonard]

Hi Sean:

This was just as insightful and informative as your "History of..." series. I think ring psychology is something that you don't truly appreciate until it's gone (as it is now). Good point you bring up about TNA, also. I tried to watch this past Thursday, and saw most of the athletes with "what's next" looks on their faces (just my opinion, though). I then realized why I don't watch TNA. This was obviously very well thought out. Good luck in the tournament.

--Leonard

[Sean_Taylor]

JohnnyBoomerang - Thanks for reading and the great feedback. To be honest, I never gave that line a second thought in that I wasn't planning on having that line being a memorable one. Weird how things work out, though.

Skitz - Yeah I knew I'd strike your chord with the Charlie Haas line. As far as being entertaining, it's a hidden talent. Oh and the guy in the banner? That sexy beast of a handsome man is none other than yours truly in my trusty, now faded Y2J hockey jersey.

Petre Dyche - I really don't know how to respond to being called "awesome". "Thank you" seems somehow weak.

Mazza - I knew expressing my thoughts on Jeff might piss some people off but I just couldn't hold it in any longer. I have tons of respect for Degenerate but, as I've said before, I think you and I in the final would be almost too close to call. Good luck to you and Degenerate.

Dr. Monkey - I agree that the X-Division guys took a little more of a beating in my column that perhaps some of them deserved but also I think TNA should challenge their wrestlers to do better. They have the natural talent, they just need that extra something to make them stars. Thanks for the feedback and congrats on your MP call up. I was really happy to see you make it there.

Cashmoney - You're definately the audience I wanted to reach with this column. When you watch the matches now with new eyes, you might see some disappointing things but I promise you, when you see a match with great psychology, you're going to appreciate it so much more. Oh and watch JBL closely. He's a master of psychology, especially surrounding being a heel.

Lenjr04 - That's exactly the point I tired to make. When you watch a match and think "that was good, not great, but something was missing", that something was psychology. I guarantee it. When I finally understood what ring psychology was and I went back and watched events from the Hogan era, I had more appreciation for it now than I did as a kid when I was the biggest "mark" out there. Thanks for reading and I appreciate the feedback.