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#1
02-25-2009, 09:01 AM
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(ISC) Power For Struggle #100 – ET Renegade’s Mirror Edition
 Power For Struggle #100 – ET Renegade’s Mirror Edition What’s up, good people of the Columns Forums? This is ET Renegade here with the groundbreaking 100th edition of Power For Struggle. Now unless you have been living in some crazy pre-reset parallel universe, you will know the story of how I got here but for those who do not, here is a recap. It is the typical story of the young city boy who dreams of making in on an island, far away from all the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Now as much as I enjoyed my time in the city, once I had managed to defalcate the money needed to realise my dream of living the laid-back island lifestyle, I was gone. Since my big move, life has changed a lot. I am more of a relaxed writer, I watch less reality television and my English seems to be getting worse by the day (thank God for Microsoft Word). However, the one constant has been wrestling and in particular, my favourite wrestler of all times, Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart. Now my Hitman-love is well documented in the POL Forums so what better way to celebrate 100 editions than having a Bret Hart extravaganza. It is no secret that Bret Hart is the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be. He was schooled in the art of great technical and submission wrestling in his father’s infamous “Dungeon” and after being a shining light in Stampede Wrestling, he moved to the World Wrestling Federation and showed the world how great he was. However my Brettles has always been somewhat naïve and it is unfortunate that his refusal to politic has resulted in him being screwed over (and not in the passionate way I’d like to screw him) at several points in his career. From the beginning of time, well at least AB (Anno Bretus), it seems that every man and his dog have had a go at screwing over the legacy of the Hitman. Today I will be looking at some controversial and some not-so-controversial moments in wrestling history to find out just who it was that screwed Bret. So get ready people, I have got my hands on some absolutely shocking material. Random Ruckus But before we get to the ground breaking and thoroughly depressing part of the column, here is a little something extra: ET Renegade's Ratings Of Bret's Looks!!! Now are you all thinking what I am thinking? Yes, it has been far too long since Brettles’ beauty has graced our screens. Nobody in this business we all love has given more heart (pun intended) than Bret. He has also graced us with his great looks and that hair you just want to run your fingers through. So here I will rate photos of Bret from different periods in his illustrious career out of 5. I guess you could call in a “Big Ol’ List of Hitman Lovin’”. Let’s start with an early one: JUST KIDDING  Sorry, too early! I would like to reiterate that my man-love for Bret does not include paedo-love. STAMPEDING  Ah here we go, a young… wait, is that Billy Kidman? Well this certainly was not a great look for the young Bret but I am sure he still got plenty of action when Stu let him out of the Dungeon. RATING:  PRETTY IN PINK  Now we are talking, a fine man at his finest. There are probably only four to five people on Earth who could carry this look off and myself and Bret are two of them. When Brettles was Intercontinental Champion he just oozed the type of coolness Fonzie could only wish he had. RATING: TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN  By the time he was WWF Champion, the cool had been replaced by a smouldering confidence. It was not only Bret’s countenance that displayed this but also his wrestling. A more mature Bret carried the WWF with a level of class that his predecessors, successors and in particular, his immediate successor could not. RATING: HALL OF FAMER  When Bret made his long awaited return to the WWE for his Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony he sported the distinguished gentleman look. Whilst no longer a pin-up boy, he certainly proved he still had something to offer and although you can’t notice it here, he wasn’t desperately trying to cover up a bald spot either. RATING: JUST A SEXY BOY  Sorry… That is from my personal collection. All I will say is Shawn wishes he looked that good. And finally we have… NOT YOUR BOY TOY  Do I really need to spell out how good this looks? To rate it ten out of five may even be a little harsh here as an intense Bret makes Shawn weak in the back and yours truly weak in the knees. RATING: Excuse me whilst I catch my breath a moment. Right, that’s better. Before I get to the main issue at hand and shock the world, I would like to address a couple of PMs that I received during that first section. I won’t glorify the users who sent them by naming names but the insinuation is that I am the one from the parallel universe. Can you believe that? I know who started this rumour, it’s the same guys that started the rumour that the reset occurred due to my overuse of pink text. I assure you all that it is merely a coincidence that since the POL Forums have come back up, magenta, pink and even wheat have been removed from the colour scheme. It is bad enough that I now have to write in generic colouring but I could do without the cyber harassment so guys (you know who you are), please leave me alone. Locking Horns We all know that a certain “man” by the name of Shawn Michaels made a choice in 2001 to turn to God. I mean how could we not know? He and the WWE have flaunted it to the point of actually making The Almighty, HBK’s tag team partner. Most of us have also come to the realisation that Shawn’s religious beliefs came about as a way of him dealing with the life of sin. Having said that, I will announce to the world now that contrary to what some may think, Michaels is 100% genuine in the path he is taking with the Lord. There were some bumps in the road in the beginning as Shawn occasionally returned to his old ways of doing things. But, you see in late 2007, HBK really did step up his religious game in order to wipe the slate clean. On 9th November 2007, ten years of guilt really caught up with him and he walked into Cornerstone Church, San Antonio and talked to his Pastor, confessing every single one of his sins. You may be wondering how on earth I know all of this. You may also be thinking these are the psychopathic fantasies of a Hitman mark. This is something that has never even been hinted at on any wrestling news site, legitimate or otherwise. Well it just so happens that on the day in question, Cornerstone Church was bugged. That is correct, at great personal expense, yours truly hired an actor to enter the Church as a Pastor and mould a certain Mr Michaels into a model Born Again Christian. Once I was in possession of the tape, the thoughts of blackmailing named names crossed my mind, as did sending it to Bret as a present but I felt that was more like a fourth date type of gift. After some more thought I decided to bide my time but today, for the first time ever, I will share extracts of the tape with the people who will appreciate it the most, my loyal friends here at POL. What I will give to you guys now is details of not only a couple of the major talking points in wrestling history, but also other incidents during Bret’s career which you would never have guessed Shawn had a hand in. So today the world finds out exactly… …Who Screwed Bret? On more than one occasion it has been eluded to that Vince McMahon never paid all the money owed to Bret’s father from when he bought Stu’s Stampede Wrestling in the mid-80s. As a result, Bret and his siblings missed out on what would have been a rather substantial inheritance. Here are Shawn’s comments on one of his favourite stories. FUCK YOU, PAY ME!  Quote:
VERDICT: VINCE SCREWED BRET On 17th January 1992, a ‘sick’ Bret Hart lost the Intercontinental Title to the Mountie. The reason given for this was because The Hitman’s contract was expiring and losing to the heel Jacques Rougeau was the best way to put the title onto the face Rowdy Roddy Piper. It seems quite simple but less than 3 months later, Bret won the title back from Piper in a classic bout at Wrestlemania 8. So what gives? Quote:
Quote:
Wrestlemania 9 seemed like his Intercontinental Championship loss all over again. Hart had won his first WWF Championship against Ric Flair in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan on 12th October 1992 and come Wrestlemania, Yokozuna was supposed to become the first heel to walk away from ‘grandest stage of them all’ as champion with Bret pencilled-in to win the belt back at King of the Ring. All went to plan until Hulk Hogan made a surprise entrance after the match, supposedly all in the name of avenging Bret’s defeat. Quote:
VERDICT: SHAWN SCREWED BRET 1994 was the year that saw Bret and Owen Hart redefined the term “epic feud”. At Survivor Series that year, in a match where a designated person had to throw in the towel between Bret and Bob Backlund, Owen convinced their mother Helen to give up the match for Bret. Backlund in turn would drop the title very quickly to Kevin ‘Diesel’ Nash, which started rumours about Bret’s reluctance to put over new faces. Shawn’s view of that day however put a new light onto the proceedings. Quote:
One year after winning his first WWF Championship, Shawn Michaels was supposed to drop the belt back to Bret at Wrestlemania 13. We all know what happened next. Shawn refused to do the job and forfeited the title in the famous “Lost my Smile” speech. As I have said, there is nothing shocking about this but let’s hear about it in Shawn’s words. Quote:
VERDICT: SHAWN SCREWED BRET The Montreal Screwjob at the 1997 Survivor Series is one of the most infamous incidents in wrestling history. There is no point in going over what happened as anyone signed up to a wrestling forum will no doubt know the sequence of events that led to the title going from Bret to Shawn. All I will bring you here is the confirmation of what everybody already assumed had happened. SCREWED  Quote:
At Starrcade 1999, Bret Hart successfully defended his WCW Championship against Bill Goldberg. During the bout, Bret was on the receiving end of a mule kick which caused a major concussion. He did not realise the severity of the injury at the time but a month later saw Bret’s sad and premature retirement from professional wrestling. Quote:
On 23rd June 2002 Bret was out riding his bike. On hitting a pothole he was thrown over the handlebars and landed on the back of his head. The impacted resulted in a minor stroke which Bret has recovered well from but is still a very sad chapter in his story. Quote:
VERDICT: BRET SCREWED BRET Ladies and gentleman, that is just a small insight into the life of sin led by Shawn Michaels and the effects on my Brettles. Rest assured that there is a lot more interesting information on that tape and once I have decided exactly what I will do with it, copies will be sent out to all my friends at POL. Current Romps Well once again it seems I have been bombarded with PMs during my main section. These seem to be coming from reliable sources and I have now accepted the fact that it could well be me who is from a parallel universe. I suddenly feel like such a n00b going on about my Hitman obsession. So good people of PO…. Sorry, LOP. ET Renegade will now bring you something from the realms of normality in my ‘Current Romps’ section, which should have come first according to one of your respected moderators. You guys are just crazy! * I am really digging the way WWE are handling their booking right now. No Way Out was shaping up to be the most predictable PPV in recent memory but 10 minutes into the event, Edge’s elimination from the Smackdown Chamber meant the road to Wrestlemania will not be the motorway (highway??? freeway??? autobahn??? traffordd???) we were all expecting but they will be taking the scenic route. * Triple H finally breaking kafaybe on his marriage to Stephanie is a stroke of genius and something I have been calling for a little while now. It makes total sense for Hunter to move to Raw and defend his title against Orton at Wrestlemania. Barring injury, this should finally give Randall a memorable feud against Hunter. I can also see this feud lasting for the majority of the year with McMahon’s changing allegiance as well as DX and Evolution reunions certainly on the cards. * So with the WWE Championship seemingly booked, it looks like the World Heavyweight Championship is taking us to Edge versus Cena revisited. I hear a lot of people crying that it has been done before but in my humble opinion, Edge brings something out of Cena that nobody else can do and I am thrilled to see these two working together, particularly with the added Vickie element. It also keeps Edge away from the Hardy’s feud which is a good thing as the brothers need to prove themselves, by themselves. * Speaking of the brothers Hardy, I have to say right now that anyone who is expecting to see a clinic of Brettles-Owen standards from these two needs to calm the hell down. The simple fact is that Matt and Jeff are not capable of doing it. They are however capable of putting on a different type of great match between brothers. Let’s face it, these guys made their name as spot monkeys and there is no reason for them to get all technical on us now. With MitB a mainstay of Wrestlemania these days, there is not much point in putting them in a ladder match but I think a gimmick will really help these two get over big in Houston come April. The best bet would be a falls count anywhere match and I think they could steal the show in this type of environment which would end with an effervescent Jeff performing an absolutely insane spot somewhere in the Reliant Stadium. * My final comment on the road to Wrestlemania is about the Undertaker. If you have been a regular reader of my columns (which I now guess you probably haven’t), you will know that I am with the majority who would love to see HBK and Undertaker go at it in their home state. It is a pretty safe assumption that if the roof on the Reliant Stadium is closed on the 5th April, The Deadman and The Show Stopper will blow it right off. After the subtle teases of the 2 future Hall-of-Famers facing off since the 2007 Royal Rumble, it has now been officially teased and I have to say, if the WWE act froward towards the IWC here and it doesn’t happen, I will be thoroughly pissed. And that just about wraps up my thoughts on the road to Wrestlemania and my column. I really hope that my humble little column hasn’t confused you and that you have enjoyed the ride. I’d like to thank everyone who sent me a PM of support in that final section. I have thoroughly enjoyed my short time spent with you all here at LOP but there is no place like home, and hopefully I will be back there soon. If I do make it back and if any of you are dragged to my world, there will be a warm welcome for you at POL and if I don’t make it back, expect to see the 101st edition of Power for Struggle coming to the CF shortly. Catch you on the flip side, ET Renegade 
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#2
02-25-2009, 09:21 AM
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ET Renegade,
This was great. Degen's gonna have his work cut out for him this time around. The looks of Bret section was classic, and the confessions of HBK really shined some light on just how much of a jerk HBK has been to Bret over the years!  Spectacular job!  Read you later
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#3
02-25-2009, 02:25 PM
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Loved it Maz...erm...ET Renegade. You succeeded wonderfully at capturing Degen's style as the task at hand charged but it never felt like you were trying desperately hard to accomplish it; why that may sound a negative thing it's a compliment. Trying too hard would have made it feel forced and would have undermined it. You didnt!
 As a column in its own right it was EXCELLENT stuff too. Probably my favourite column of all time ever. Especially the Looks of Bret section. Probably my favourite column segment of all time ever. But seriously, it was as well written and solid as always and a very interesting take on an often commented upon situation; you managed to take a fresh approach on something widely broached so congratulations there too! Well done my friend and it'll be interesting what Degen comes up with. Could it sway my vote? It'll need to be damned good! Good luck in the tournament. I'm still bitter you took my spot....  PS: Posting in magenta does not cause board resets! *Points to himself*
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#5
02-25-2009, 09:18 PM
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There is no need to indent.
Now that that's out of the way, this was a great column Mazza... sorry ET Renegade... You have really stepped up througout the tournament and this was no different. Nicely done indeed and had me laughing.
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#6
02-26-2009, 02:10 AM
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Oh snap, crackle and pop!
You bright your A game for this round, Mazzaball. Degen is gonna have a helluva time topping this and stealing my vote away. This felt very Degen-esque and even during the Bret Hart shenanigans, it seemed like I was reading the work of his alter ego. And considering you were the first of the remaining four to post, this sure was thorough and entertaining from start to finish. Let the Cinderella story of the CSI continue! I lust for you, ET Renegade.
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#7
02-26-2009, 08:45 AM
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Mazza - FTW! The bar has been set pretty darn high for Degen this round. You did an excellent job of channeling the Degen style. Very good read and probably my favorite column of the tournament so far. Kudos!
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#8
02-26-2009, 10:00 AM
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Mazza,
Over the course of this contest I've grown to know just how talented you are. Still, I was blown away by the depth and detail of this emulation. Everything from the anagram moniker, to the Hart Love, to the very sentance structure and word choice made this excellent. With the goal of capturing another columnits voice and narrative, you couldn't have done any better. The Knight's Salute for this amazing piece and CSI run this far. ~BK
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  ~~ I hear voices in my head, they laugh at me, they call me Fred! ~~
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#9
02-26-2009, 02:46 PM
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This was a great read, and you pulled off Degens style very well. I really enjoyed this.
Well done
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#10
02-26-2009, 03:44 PM
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Well ET Renegade made it safely back to POL but he asked me to handle the feedback so here goes.
ron2_3sam3: It really seems that HBK has been a naughty boy over the years. Thanks for your comments and the authentification. Alp'n: If you didn't like it I really would have been in trouble. Seriously though, I am glad you enjoyed it and for the record, I took Joey's spot, Deg took yours. corcie: Thanks a lot man but I do wonder about this indenting fetish you seem to have developed. I'm not even sure what it is. Fuka: Thanks a lot dude, I can feel the confidence growing round to round. TT Lez Kis: Shall Cinders go to the ball? We shall see but thanks for the colourful nod of approval. (This one wont be easy... uhhh... awesome!) Just bland in bed: Thanks for the support and sorry about the name! (You really needed a u in your name) Gy hit knob end - A knight support is a great thing. It's strange. I am a stubbon fuck and when I get an idea, I tend to run with it without looking back. Can the same tactic that got me 16th place in the write off get me to the final? Time will tell. (Yeah, I've lost it) Hy Y not be me ok - Thanks alot young monkey - I am glad you enjoyed.
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#12
02-26-2009, 06:52 PM
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Indenting is just stupid anyway and is completely unnecessary.
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#13
02-26-2009, 09:53 PM
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Clever stuff my man! You've proven time and time again in this tournament that when given a prompt, you can roll with it - giving yourself an alter ego with a hard on for Bret really pushed the "mirror" theme. I loved the heart and skull ratings and while I'm not super familiar with Degen's columns, it was clearly not your usual style.
The only downside here is that if you get by I'm going to have to put a hurting on you - but what a hurting it would be! Can you imagine it? Two "noobs", two members of the "HOC" (is that what they call it?) going the whole way! Even getting to the final four was quite an accomplishment for us; you should be proud of yourself man. Will we cross paths again....?
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#14
02-26-2009, 10:27 PM
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Sorry about my lateness, I actually read this the other day and thought I posted feedback but guess I didn't.
Mazza, simply put you have taken what some would consider a "Cinderella" story and turned it into a story of utter dominance. Very few people can say they've made the progress that you've made in such a short span. Furthermore, the fact that you've expanded your style outside of your review comfort zone should spell trouble for a lot of people. You and a few others have raised the bar in the CF and hopefully others strive to catch up which will mean great things in this place. In terms of the column, the Bret's Look Ratings were classic. The Goldberg/Bret situation was also gold. ---------------- Now playing: Mastodon - Divinations via FoxyTunes
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#15
02-26-2009, 10:36 PM
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Fuck... Monkey Man just reminded me of something I forgot to add.
With a tournament such as the CSI, the point of view is obviously different depending on the individual. For someone like me, there's not really a whole lot to gain other than bragging rights. For someone like Degen who'd never previously advanced past the first round of a CF tournament, he is having a helluva time. But for a relative newcomer like yourself, this tournament could really do wonders for you. And as we've all seen, you've picked up the ball and ran with it for as long as possible. I think you have benefited and impressed more than anyone in the CSI. But above all else, your work in Sheep's tournament has showcased your talents and forced everyone to turn their heads when a new Mazzaball column goes up. In less than two months, you've proven to be one of the strongest writers the CF has to offer and we're talking about some excellent columnists.
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#16
02-27-2009, 11:32 PM
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Hi Mazza:
I know I haven't been here long, but I must agree with the above statements that you are definitely making your mark here, even with all of the established talent that is here. The whole column, top to bottom, was fantastic, and provided some great satire. Way to go...good luck in the tournament. --Leonard
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 Wrestling with Music - A New Day? Really? (Coming Someday...) "You'll Thank Me Later" - Shaking Up the Rumble "You'll Thank Me Later" - Is Women's Wrestling Dead? "You'll Thank Me Later" - Defending PG
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#17
02-28-2009, 06:05 AM
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c many hoe$ - Thanks alot cash, I try! Glad you are still keeping up with CSI and we are all looking forward to your first non-CSI effort soon.
R Py - Thanks a lot dude. It means a lot coming from a fellow HOC'er. I's a real shame there was time confusion on your part but I am sure you will bounce back. Mr. Donkey (could it have been anything else?) - Being a n00b, I don't know how long you have been away before coming back and pretty much setting the standard in the CF. I am glad you have enjoyed and are seeing my progress and if the slipper fits, hopefully there will be one final CSI hurrah and I shall go to the ball! TT Lez Kis - You are not getting a different name just cos you fedback twice. Thanks for the support and encouragement my fruity friend. R0n 4 Jel - Thanks for the kind words and hopefully I can make one last CSI column in the final.
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