The Ice Chronicles 22: The Halloween Special

[Glacier]

Welcome to the 22nd Edition of The Ice Chronicles. I am your host of all things frosty and frozen, Glacier. In the igloo today, its all about Halloween. The igloo is decorated, and I have candy for all the trick or treaters. I’m going to cover a few different topics today, all of which tie into Halloween. But first…

Random Thoughts and Observations.

Saw 6 comes out next Friday, and I will definitely be checking it out. I have been pretty satisfied with the series so far, although none come close to the first one. The second one was almost as good, and since then they have been pretty good. I’m eager to see where this year’s saw will take us.

Smackdown vs. Raw 2010 comes out in 3 days and I already have plans to pick it up on Tuesday. Im hoping this year’s game doesn’t leave me with the empty feeling I’ve had playing the games since the 2006 installment.

How one sided does the Smackdown vs. Raw tag match at Bragging rights look? On one team, 3 main eventers, 3 soon to be main eventers, and Mark Henry. On the Smackdown side you have 2 former world champions, you have a midcard star in Dolph Ziggler, Cryme Tyme and 2 men who just debuted and remain unproven in my mind. I hope this match doesn’t turn out to be the squash-fest im thinking it will be.

Halloween Part 1: Top 5 Wrestling attires I wish I could wear on Halloween.

5: Max Moon

Come on…this dude was from outer space! How could you not want a costume like that. His costume looks like it was made mostly from those Styrofoam noodle things you use in a pool. It was so many bright colors and looked like it was made by a 7 year old. If only he had an epic entrance where he like came down from the ceiling in a space ship, he would have been my favorite wrestler. I wasn’t too fond of the mask, but you gotta admit that his costume was cool.

4: Golga

This dude was seriously awesome from a costume standpoint. He was the Eugene of the 90’s with a cartman shirt and stuffed doll. His mask was pretty cool, but it would have been way more epic if he came out with a cartman hat on and came on the mic and said “respect my authority!” But just like our friend Max Moon, Golga was taken off TV after a couple months.

3: Glacier

Yes, when I was a little Glacier, I was actually Glacier for Halloween. I found a Sub-Zero costume, and altered it to look like Glacier. Glacier just had one of the greatest costumes ever in wrestling. He came out to the ring with icy smoke and blue lights and it was just awesome. I’m sad he didn’t keep his mask on during his matches and use a combat style like Sub-Zero did. For those wondering about the irony, there are pictures of me in this costume. I will not release them to the public for the sake of my reputation.

2: Masked Kane

I cant think of one person in my group of friends in 1997 and 1998 who didn’t want to be Kane for Halloween. Seriously, he was a 9 year old’s fantasy Halloween costume. He could spontaneously set things on fire with a flick of his arms and he had one of the most awesome entrances ever. His mask and attire were a cool mesh of red and black and he was just awesome because he talked with fire. He had awesome powers and used them in awesome ways.

1: Vampiro

Vampiro was a costume I tried on Halloween in 2000, but it didn’t work out well and because of my stupidity. I let my friend try drawing Vampiro’s tats on my arms and walked around for a couple days with permanent marker up and down my arms. But Vampiro was cool in that he didn’t try to be a vampire, he was more of a ghoul. His face paint and dreads were awesome and his alliance with ICP in 2000 only made his character more awesome. His entrance wasn’t epic, but it was on par with his character as he was pretty much a loner for most of his career.

Honorable Mentions:
Rey Mysterio
The Ultimate Warrior
Sting
Abyss

Halloween Part 2: Horror Movie Killers in Wrestling.

This part of my column is going to be dedicated to wrestlers who’s gimmick matches horror movie killers.

Chucky/Hornswoggle.

Hornswoggle’s gimmick in WWE is a leprechaun who is used to face regular sized men. He has been involved in programs with The Great Khali, William Regal, JBL, Vince McMahon and most famously, Chavo Guerrero. In these programs Hornswoggle has been used as a legitimate match to all of these men. Hornswoggle even won the Cruiserweight Championship in 2007. Chucky on the other hand is a doll who walks around with a knife and actually kills older people. Even though Chucky has a knife and it seems like it COULD be a possibility that he could actually kill people. Hornswoggle on the other hand isn’t believable to be a match to regular WWE wrestlers. Despite this difference, they are one in the same.

Hannibal Lecter/Kane

Although there are some spots in both these guy’s lives, there are a lot of similarities. Both are brought into the world into good families, but there was a point in both their lives that changed them. For Lecter, it was when he was adopted by his uncle into a comfortable life, begins becoming savagely obsessed with avenging his little sister’s death, eventually turning him into a sadist and serial killer. For Kane it was the fire to his family’s home set by his brother that killed his parents and scarred him for life. Kane spent the next 20 years in isolation and was eventually brought out by his real father, Paul Bearer, to avenge the horrible event. Lecter on the other hand avenges his little sister’s murder by methodically hunting down all the men who were involved in the killing and consumption of his sister. Kane eventually became a protagonist in the WWE as did Lecter in the book The Silence Of The Lambs. Lecter and an FBI agent named Clarice Starling teamed up to catch a serial Killer. In the next novel, Hannibal, Starling saved Lecter from death, and Lecter attempted to recreate Starling in his little sister’s image only to fall in love with her. Kane would have the same fate, as he would have a couple relationships with Chyna and Tori only to be betrayed by both of them. But ultimately, both will be remembered for the destruction they caused.

Jason Voorhees/Triple H

Jason is portrayed in the movies as a killer who protects Camp Crystal Lake, the place where his mother was once a cook. In most of the movies, the people who come to the lake are young teenagers. He slashes through them one by one with his machete. Triple H is one in the same, as he fights to protect his spot at the top, usually at the cost of young midcarders looking to get a spot in the main event. Some of Triple H’s victims include The Brian Kendrick, MVP, Booker T, Cody Rhodes, Umaga, amoung others. Jason is protecting the Lake and his mom’s spirit against all intruders, as is Triple H with his spot ontop.

Jigsaw/Randy Orton/Jake the Snake Roberts

Jigsaw from the Saw series is all about mind games. He puts his victims in life or death situations he calls “games.” His recording plays and he gives them an ultimatum. They have a timeframe (usually a minute) to get a key or find a switch to disable the device they’re trapped in otherwise the device will go off killing them. He is cold and calculated, and likes to watch his victims suffer before finally killing them. Few have gotten away from his grasp. Randy Orton is alike with Jigsaw in so many ways. He is cold and calculated. He likes his opponents to suffer and have a slow defeat before giving the final blow, whether it be the RKO or The Punt. Jake Roberts is all about mind games, getting into the mind of his opponents with his snakes and feeds off their fear. Jake’s promos are all about mind games. He talks about fear and trust to get into the mind of his opponent, much like Jigsaw uses fear and trust with his victims.

Pennywise/Doink The Clown

…just kidding.

Honorable Mentions
Michael Myers/The Undertaker
Eric Draven (The Crow)/Sting
Carrie/Daffney
Bubba Sawyer (Leatherface)/Abyss


Sweeney Todd/Brutus Beefcake

….kidding again.

Freeze Moment of The Week:
This week’s freeze moment goes to Nancy O’Dell. Seriously…how hot does she look for being in her early 40’s. Kudos to her. Honorable Mention goes to the CM Punk/John Morrison match from WWE Superstars. It was a great match that shouldn’t have been ruined by the fucking Miz.

Well that does it for this episode of The Ice Chronicles. I would like to thank those who I PM’ed to help me with my future Wrestlemania column, and if I didn’t PM you and you would like to participate, leave it in my feedback or shoot me a PM. Join me here in the igloo next time for another edition of The Ice Chronicles. As always, I am Glacier. Bring a coat next time, you look cold.

[Freeman]

Mr Glac,

Both ideas were stupendous and I love list columns. You got me all hyped up for Halloween now so thanks!

The only problem I've got, was that I think you could've actually got two columns out of this. Sometimes your stuff seems to be all pictures and not much writing, so I would have preferred it if you'd have written more on each topic. I'm not sure how you could've fleshed out your costumes section, but hey, there's your challenge.

I enjoyed this, but would've preferred more devolpment of your ideas, hence me wanting to seperate columns out of this idea. Just my opinion though, as I'm sure there are some who would prefer just the one Halloween themed column. Oh, and good luck with the Wrestlemania column, whenever you're going to write it.

[SIMS]

Haha this was brilliant, I always like a seasonal tie-in column and the comparisons are spot on.

nICEly done lol

[Uncle Joe]

The idea was great, and most of the execution was spot on dude. But Im a sick and twisted bastard, so I wanted to see the Blue Blazer up there (LOL OMG OWN JOKE!), You're coming into your own dude.

[Super Chrisss]

I did not know that Nancy o'Dell was that old. DAMN she looks good for her age, but not as good as Maria Menoulous. Don't you dare tell me she's in her late-thirties!!

I thought you made some pretty good comparisons, especially the Chucky and Jigsaw ones. I would have added more analysis to their comparisons,a nd less match-ups, but whatever.

Fun column.

[Jason Boy]

Brilliant Chucky and Hornswoggle Brilliant LOL

[Glacier]

She's actually 31, Chrisss. But Nancy O'Dell is way hotter Maria's face is kind of funny.

[FreekyDeeky]

Good idea here Glacier but like Freeman said you could have easily got two columns out of this if you had expanded on your ideas more. I liked your comparisons and thought they were very accurate.

Catch you next time