The Boomerang Prophecies XXXIX: Subtitles

[Martin Riggs]

THE BOOMERANG PROPHECIES XXXIX: SUBTITLES

The Passionate have fallen from the sky, no longer do their wings soar. In hindsight, this may prove to be genius, but for now there is no justice. What once we looked upon with grace turned to vicious black ash in our eyes. It is our scorn and oppression that forced the elegance away, but yet still the passionate continued to watch from above, like a deity, great and powerful. Now the tides have changed, much as they always have, and the tectonic plates have shifted. The stars are re-aligning, astronomic charts are worthless as the systems themselves reform. Whilst nobody enjoys change, even less accept is as just and right. It is this unfamiliarity that we push away, desperately seeking not salvation but recognition, even be it with evil. And for that I weep.


(The main eventers who are so greedily holding RAW under hostage, are gone (Triple H, Booker T, Big Show, Big Khali). Looking back on it, this may be great ideally, because now there is no pecking order; no Totem pole. Batista and Taker are there, but that is far and few in between considering those two are active as an old man's penis sans Viagra. We used to love Smackdown! because, unlike RAW, it seemed as if it was politic free, and there was a plethora more of change in regards to main events and a great wrestling-to-skit ratio. But with that big Draft Trade, it brought Triple H the Tyrant, Big Show, and then Smackdown was back to being the B Show. Triple H seemed to be more giving, but appearances can be deceiving, as he trounced whatever heat The Brian Kendrick had, among other actions. For a long while, Smackdown was labeled as sad and wasting potential. And then like a rainfall in the desert, Smackdown was purged of all that had destroyed it's once great show. And now it back upon it's rightful throne as the best wrestling show on television. And for that, I weep.)








Depression is an incurable anomaly, something that’s just ‘there’, and goes in its own time. Sure, medication can be prescribed, people can be comforting for a while, but when the pills run out and the people lose interest, where are you? You’re left alone, cold, suffering from withdrawal, still depressed and even worse off than before. You spend thousands of dollars on therapy, to tell someone else facts and opinions, half of which are faked or just complete lies. And yet suddenly, one day you’ll wake up, earlier than normal, look out of your window to see the sun rise over the horizon. And this one, insignificant moment of natural beauty will avail your worries, ‘curing’ you so to speak, of that which has wrought your heart for so long. Pitiful in its simplicity, really. Why does the first snow-filled morning of the year hold more appeal than any other? Why does it feel so magically inspired, like watching Walt Disney movies as a child? And how is this fair to those torn from it? I’ll be damned if I know.


(Staleness is something that is often unseen and hits harder than a lineman coming off the blindside. Yeah, you can do cutsie things like give the dude a big penis gimmick, or hash out pay per views chock full of gimmicks. They will tide fans over for the mean time, with constant Orton-Triple or Triple H-Cena or Orton-Cena matches, dress them up and parade them around like one of those poor young girls do in the young model industry, but once the gimmicks get old, the tricks get played and the wrestlers have wrestled their millionth match together, what the fuck is left? You spend a bunch of money putting in countless hours of production value, promotion, shameless schilling on these pre-planned, super fake events, but for what? One day, you'll tune in and watch a RAW open with a promo by the Miz, who has HBK tied up in a chair while Dolph Ziggler electrocutes his testicles while Triple constantly screams 'vintage' on commentary, and you will smile. The staleness will be gone, and the dawn of a new era has begun, because we love seeing the rarity, but also because we love the sound of justice.)











During the War, children would be shipped out to the countryside, to prevent them being killed in the bombings. Even in such a time of death and struggle, an emphasis was placed on the children to survive and prosper. The World War wreaked havoc on England, more so than the government was willing to divulge. But you know what really lifts my spirits? There was an air of confidence and enthusiasm, people carried themselves with determination and unity, the whole country united against a common evil. It took the very worst in someone to bring out the best in the whole country; such an unfortunate set of circumstances. But now that we have no common enemy to focus on, or at least not one that poses immediate danger, we have no common unity. And the saddest thing? If it happened, technology is so advanced that we wouldn’t be able to unite, for we’d probably just all be obliterated.


(In it's ever growing attempt to delude itself into being it's own competitor, the WWE and Vince have seen countless youngsters thrown into the fire; from Brock Lesnar, to Lashley, the Spirit Squad, to Eugene, and now Eric Escobar, the WWE have seemingly been risky, carefree and rather inconsistent with the development of some of their burgeoning stars. They either place them in the spotlight from the very beginning (Lesnar), while being hesitant to throw an on-the-cusp talent (MVP) into the main event based on the actions of Lashley and Lesnar, all the while putting a bunch of young studs and fed them to the wolves (the Spirit Squad). All throughout the Attitude Era and the Monday Night Wars, new stars were created, whether they be new kids on the block (The Rock, Triple H, Kurt Angle) or some of the older dudes who never got their proper chance to shine (Austin, Foley). But now that there is no true competition, the creative and talent relations have no direction, no idea, no drive to force them to be better. The worst part? They are their own worst enemy.)









Hello, I am Johnny Boomerang.

And I am Uncle Joe. And this was the Art of the Swerve.

[Tony Starx]

Wow. Well done. That's call I can really say.

[Benjamin Button]

It was more than well written and entertaining from both parties. You two meshed very well together.

My only complaint would be that the three topics seemed to have no connection, and they seemed kind of random. I may be missing something.

But overall, you entertained me, and I know the last sentence was what this is about, and you did swerve me so kudos.

[Freeman]

This was quite a good idea, and I'm guessing the overall theme was that the WWE is stale and can't build new stars, or am I missing the point? The swerve at the end was very well done also; you two should write together more often.

Good work overall, enjoyed it.

PS: Boomer, you should've just left the first paragraph of each section in with no explanation, and watch your thread hit two pages again.

Just kiddding.

[Super Chrisss]

You guys fooled the pants off me. I really thought it was JB writing both parts, but giving a translation/glossary for the reader. You sly devils!

I thought this could have went a paragraph or two longer, but what the hell, it was great, so I'm not complaining.

[FreekyDeeky]

^^^same. You guys did a good job together but I agree with Benji, it would have been better if the three topics had a connection.

It was short but it did the job. I hope you two do more collabs in the future.

Catch ya next time

[Prince-Jigsaw]

As said before, this could have been longer and connected more, but I really enjoyed it. I look forward to more from you two, especially if it's done together like this. Kudos to both.

[XanMan]

This was pretty cool and I love how you guys thumbed your noses at the critics of Boomer's previous column.

[MissouriDragon]

I can't properly type the sound of Muttley laughing, but that's me.