Beyond The Walls #27 - Rated "R"

[Super Chrisss]

Darkness falls and shadows crawl
Up and down these tainted halls
For nothing good has ever seen this place
Not with mind, nor with face

He sits alone, one toilet away
Breathing rapidly, thoughts astray
Still he thinks of that night
When he should have stayed to fight

The time was right; all was good
Everything seemed legit from the hood
But by the time he got back it was too late
The Gods had already twisted his fate

My, how three weeks seems to fly
Has it really been three weeks? It must be a lie!
The men in uniform are contorting his mind
With any tool they can find

Yet his soul is not crushed, his mind not broken
The monster inside has just awoken
The fools in power were completely misled
Now they must cope with the inevitable bloodshed

He has been locked up for far too long
Yet no one will believe he has done no wrong
Not his lover, not his father, not even his brother
Who would put him before all others

He is trapped in a hell where there is no gate
The only ones that enter are those who tempt fate
Hell is not inescapable, but merely a test
Survival is for the best, and death for the rest

Some have already scratched him off as a huss
Others couldn't wait to throw him under the bus
Let them enjoy themselves, all shall be in vain
For he is a big, red monster, but he is no Kane

He has reached the top of the mountain more than once
And has dealt with his fair share of cunts
But no one, no one can ignore the success
He has won many times and lost even less

When the time comes his chains will break
People will learn that this he no fake
He may be gone, but not yet forgotten
He may be a bad apple, but not quite rotten

Sooner or later that gate will unlock
Giving him his freedom and a chance to walk
Away from his past, and all his sins
To avenge his loss and pick up some wins

He will go back to where it all began
Back to where he left his problems and just ran
Ran until they caught up to him and threw him in jail
That will not happen again, this time he will not fail

He will have some ring rust, that is to be expected
But will his return to the sport be welcomed or neglected?
Those in the crowd will believe he's seen the light
While they who use magic boxes will bash him all-night

Whether he wins another big one or not is up for debate
Will he resist temptation or submit to Hell's Gate?
The choice is his to make, for he can do no more wrong
Or can he? To him it just may be the same old dance and song

However, that day is still a ways off
For the time being he sits alone, with a sneeze and a cough
His cell is cold, the days are long
He must bide his time and listen to the gong

Of the prison's clock, which moves ever so slowly
Which has abandoned all good and that which is Holy
Come tomorrow he will be in good company
His brother will visit and tell him a funny

But for now he sits alone in the windowless room
Awaiting his fate, be it fortune or doom
He never meant to do drugs, or dress like a man-whore
But he is Jeff Hardy, need I say anymore?

[FutureDonkey]

This was an exceptionally poor column, my unfortunate little friend. Your use of the word "cunt" came out of the blue and really had no correlation to the serious content otherwise, just as giving away the name at the end sabotaged your rhyming skillz as though you were a black man with no grillz.


This was highly innappriate.





















Har. I kid, I kid. Good job for a fucking Canadian.

[Phoenix Rising]

I don't know whether you meant this to be funny or not, but this was hilarious. In a good way. At first I thought this was just some song lyrics until I scrolled down and saw you sig.

But, as usual, I loved it. I didn't catch any grammatical errors while reading it. Great work.

[Uncle Joe]

lol this was clever. Some parts to be out of sync with the rest of the rhymes, but for the most part, it was very good. Although you owe MyLee a bit of money, I'll let it slide.

[SkittleZ]

Hmmmm... I kinda liked it.

Columns like this can be tough and aside from a few awkward lines (which is bound to happen with a rhyme that long), you pretty much nailed it.

Seriously, 27 columns!? WTF is with kids these days posting so much? It took me a year and a half to reach that number. Or does that say more about my lack of posting? Oh dear.

In any case, you've written better but topping column after column just doesn't happen. Later homie.

[Super Chrisss]

FutureDonkey - So you insult me at the beginning, praise me in-between, and insult my heritage at the end? What exactly are you trying to stay? Lol, well I'm glad you enjoyed a Canadian column you fuckin' (what are you again?)

Pheonix Rising - Actually, this was meant to be serious and a satire at the same time, so I guess it's normal that some funny stuff came up. as for hialrious, I guess you enjoyed it a bit too much lol. Thanks for reading.

Uncle Joe - Argg, rhyming is harder than it looks! I used to be excellent at writing poems in high school, I swear! As for MyLee, he/she ain't gettin' no money till they grow up! lol

Skittlez - Awkardness is the name of my game so hopefully it didn't throw you off that much lol. 27 flew by really fast, but with workl school and one or two Simones in my life (yes I said TWO) don't count on my stuff reaching 30 anytime soon Either way, I'm pleased you "kinda" liked it man.

[Freeman]

Yo dude, what's good?

The flow was slightly off in places, but overall it was a clever and well written piece. Also you kept me guessing about the identity of said wrestler until the reveal at the end, which is always a good thing. My only criticism is that perhaps you could've waited a while to put this out what with MyLee doing something similar recently, but I understand when you get the inspiration to write something you've just got to go with it. I liked this though man, very enjoyable column overall.

[Phoenix Rising]

Originally Posted by FutureDonkey

I'm an Americaniz(s)ed Brit, and (subsequently) far superior to you on all levels. You realize that Canada is just the girl's face, while America and Mexico are the titties and booty? Like I said--superior.

Oh I wouldn't go that far, especially the way our country is right now. As a matter of fact, Canada sounds pretty damn good. And I prefer a pretty face to some big tits anyday.

[Super Chrisss]

Uhhhh

How do I respond to that?!?!

[Martin Riggs]

Yeah, the rhythm hiccupped once or twice, but fuck that, this was damn impressive Chrissssssssssypoo.

Very nice linguistic acheivement. Your badge will be in the post.

[Box Car Rocco]

Yo your name is Super Chrisss
This column reeked of awesomeness
I forget the next two lines of this rap
Edge is definitely not a piece of crap
It's almost time for me to go
I'll buy you a skanky hoe.

That's my take on E&C's rap btw . I tried.

[MyLeeCyrus]

You got 24 hours, bitch...


Oh, as for actual feedback, it was fecking funny and I really enjoyed it! Though I think it took me shamefully long to figure out what the devil you were on about, but thats just my own stupidity.

[Super Chrisss]

Freeman - Truth is, MyLee was this column's main inspiration. In fact, this may have even been a "response" of sorts to his rhyme, to show that he's not the only male singer/rapper around here. Happy you liked my stuff.

JB - Admist our war against the n00bs last night, I forgot to answer your feedback. Sorry for hiccupping, at least I didn't burp

Box Car Rocco -

Thanks for the feedback, it's all good
Just pray you never end up in the hood
That rhyme you sprung was complete crap
So never again should you rap

HAHA I'm kidding man. Thanks alot, seriously.

MyLeeCyrus - Is that a challenge? Or a threat? Props to you for penning "A Great Undertaking" because as I previously mentioned, it inspired 68% of this column. You're not dumb, don't worry. You're just a bit slow

[Benjamin Button]

For the most part you kept the same flow throughout with some of the paragraphs being wicked. I thought it was Hardy but wasn't sure. Overall, this was a good read that kept me reading. You're getting close to having 30 columns under your belt! Keep it up.

[Super Chrisss]

Benjie Boy - Wow, no one has ever called some of my work "wicked" so thanks a bunch. I'm pleased to hear I had you somewhat fooled to the end, as that was one of my main purposes for writing the column (besides stealing MLC's gimmick, of course). Thanks for the compliments dude.

[FreekyDeeky]

I clicked on this expecting a column about Edge so I was actually a bit sad when a saw it was all a rhyme but then I read it and thought you did a really good job with something that is not your usual thing so well done. It seemed like you struggled for rhymes sometimes but as someone's already said that's bound to happen in a rhyme this long.

Good stuff Chrisss, keep um coming

[Super Chrisss]

FreekyDeeky - I "cleverly" inserted the title to fool you, and I guess it worked! Yes, I did miss a beat every now and then, but I shall be more careful next time. Thanks for the feedback loyal subject.

[XanMan]

This was nice, s-cubed. It was something different from you, which is awesome. It was funny, which is awesome. In other words, this was nicely double awesome.

[Tony Starx]

The Kane line was a nice one.

[Super Chrisss]

XanMan - Now who's dishing out the double-compliments? Thanks man, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Tony Starx - Hopefully it wasn't the only good one lol.

[The Maz]

Hmmm, I am not 100% sure here. As others said the flow was not perfect and it is not my fave Chrisss column but it was an enjoyable enough read. The title just had me a bit confused as it was pretty clear from early on you were talking about Jeff for me. Maybe something ambiguous would have been better rather than deliberately misleading.

[Andy]

I didn't like this at all, I'm afraid. It was a nice little rhyme and all that, but it wasn't a column that got much of a reaction out of me. Bland may be the word to describe it. But I just know that I'm going to like #28 much better.

[Super Chrisss]

Mazza - I actually used the title to imply that the rhyme was intended for an "older" audience, as is Jeff Hardy's personal life, which most little kids would cry about if they knew the truth. So a bit midleading, definitely. Thanks for the feedback Maz.

Andy - Meh, I try and hit as much as I can, but we all miss sometimes. Next time will be better and more to your liking, I'm sure. Don't you worry!

[Jason Boy]

WoW you are 3 columns from reaching # 30. WOw. I haven't read any columns in a while and this was surprising and hilarious.

[Super Chrisss]

Jason Boy - Happy to hear it, dude. And yes, #30 will be out by sometime next month. Thanks for the continued support!