From the Podium: Wrestling with Music Part One

[Leonard]

Chapter XXII: Wrestling with Music

In the mid-1980’s, a revolutionary development took place that drastically altered the course of professional wrestling, particularly in the WWE, but essentially across the board in all organizations. The “revolution” that integrated rock music with sports-entertainment (a movement that eventually became the “Rock ‘n’ Wrestling Connection”) finds its roots nearly sixty years ago, when Gorgeous George became the first prominent wrestler to regularly use music to accompany his entrance (he used “Pomp and Circumstance,” which is now typically associated with Randy Savage). Also, Sgt. Slaughter entered Madison Square Garden to the “Marine’s Hymn” in the ‘70’s. However, the practice became popularized by the Fabulous Freebirds, with their use of “Freebird” by Lynyrd Skynyrd (yes, I’ve been called that before, and no, please don’t start). Hulk Hogan would soon follow suit by using Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger.”

The famously heralded “Rock ‘n’ Wrestling Connection” began back in 1983, when Cyndi Lauper met Captain Lou Albano on an airplane. They became fast friends, and Albano appeared in Lauper’s music video for “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” later that year. The real-life friendship the two had evolved into a kayfabe rivalry, with the two managing female wrestlers. Cyndi landed herself into a feud with the Fabulous Moolah, and they met with their protégés at the inaugural WrestleMania. Lauper’s appearance, along with folks like Liberace, Mr. T, and Muhammad Ali, marked a true landmark in the history of professional wrestling. Along with Vince McMahon’s help in abolishing the “territorial” system, this marked when professional wrestling made a full 180-degree turn from a sport-oriented product to an entertainment-based program. I’d say there’s no better way to embrace the new sports-entertainment philosophy than to branch out into other media, such as musicianship.

Part One: “I am a real American…”

In November 1985, the World Wrestling Federation embarked on a journey not yet known to the sports-entertainment industry, and in the process created quite a niche market for itself. To date, what is now known as the WWE Music Group has released nineteen unique albums (with many others that were redubs of music), and it all starts here with this album.

The Wrestling Album

Fun Facts: Recorded in 1985. Released in 1985, on the Epic Records label. Produced by Rick Derringer, Dave Wolff, Jim Steinman, Mona Flambé (pseudonym for Cyndi Lauper). Notability—Featured much entrance music, but many of them were also performed by the athletes; Was the first album in a long musical journey for the WWF/E.

On this inaugural album, many of the selections were produced by Derringer and Wolff. Steinman composed and produced the “Hulk Hogan Theme Song,” and Flambé produced “Captain Lou’s History of Music/Captain Lou.” She also sang back-up vocals on “Real American.” Most every track features witty banter among the three interviewers/announcers prominent at the time, Vince McMahon, “Mean” Gene Okerlund, and Jesse “The Body” Ventura. The album was very briefly rereleased on CD in 1998, to little-to-no reaction, mostly due to the fact that many wrestling fans were embroiled in the WWF’s “Attitude Era” and whatever WCW and ECW were doing at the time (likely involving the nWo and crucifying wrestlers, respectively).

(Author’s Note: I will indeed break each track down one by one, and, as a music educator, comment on what I think is reputable and/or deplorable about the selection. I do not plan on using a quote-unquote “ratings” system, as I feel that each reader/listener should create his or her own opinions on the music, and feel free to agree or disagree with what I present. On the same token, I will sum up my thoughts at the end with a final section. Click on each title to hear the track, thanks to YouTube.)


Track 1: Land of a Thousand Dances – The Wrestlers

I’ll try to be as brief as possible here…this isn’t pretty. With vocal solos from “Classy” Freddie Blassie, “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, Don “The Rock” Muraco, Vince McMahon, and the Iron Sheik, among others, the song leaves a lot to be desired in terms of musicality. What I can give it merits for, however, is the sheer entertainment factor that this selection brings to the table. Nearly every active competitor on the roster was at least in the music video for this song (I can’t say for certain if they all recorded it…), and it leads to a pretty damned good time. It’s even funnier to me personally, because a marching band I work with throughout the year uses “Land of a Thousand Dances” as one of their go-to “stand tunes.” Those children would likely poop themselves if they heard this rendition, as well they should. Listen toward the end of the piece; the kayfabe division between the faces and the heels becomes a bit too much, as the song sort of disintegrates due to Piper getting a little rambunctious. During the first set of witty banter, Vince claims that King Kong Bundy was singing off-key. I have to break it to you, Vince…he wasn’t the only one…


Track 2: Grab Them Cakes – Junkyard Dog

G-R-A-B-T-H-E-M-C-A-K-E-S! At first glance, this doesn’t seem like a song that anybody would (or, for that matter, should) enjoy. I must say, however, that the groove that lends itself to the song has a flavor of ‘70’s slow disco or hustle, and it is quite refreshing on an album that is derivative of the decade it is from. I didn’t believe Vince and Gene when they touted JYD’s skills in the previous witty banter session, but they were correct in respect to his entertainment factor (and he doesn’t have a bad set of pipes on him, either). The singer of the 1976 disco hit “Turn the Beat Around,” Vicki Sue Robinson, lends her back-up vocals to this selection, and adds another bit of ‘70’s flavor to the mix with her vocals. Fun stuff, and musically more pleasing than the previous selection.


Track 3: Real American – Rick Derringer

Boy, in the witty banter right before this, the “face” commentators were really pushing “this new act called Derringer.” He must have thought that he was going to have a long career after releasing this doozy. Originally recorded for the U.S. Express (the popular tandem—and in-laws—of Mike Rotundo and Barry Windham), this work became the definitive theme of Hulk Hogan. If you want typical ‘80’s rock music, go no further than this selection, which is likely the high point of the album. This piece also goes along with the “arena rock” genre that came out of the ‘70’s, while maintaining a distinct ‘80’s style all the same. There is some nice guitar work in this, which is too often overlooked by the cheesy lyrics and general vocal performance by Derringer. Cyndi Lauper (as Mona Flambé) does an incredible job on background vocals here, as she just wails away and almost overshadows the true melody of the piece.


Track 4: Eat Your Heart Out, Rick Springfield – Jimmy Hart

I first have to question why they chose the budding artist Rick Springfield rather than a proven, well-known teeny-bopper artist. I’ll admit that “Jesse’s Girl” is a bad-ass song, and I sing it every time it randomly shows up on my iPod, but really? At any rate, I find myself quite surprised at the vocal skills of the “Mouth of the South,” even though we all know that he’s a pretty prominent composer in the sports-entertainment industry (he was Jim Johnston before being Jim Johnston was cool). For being a heel manager at the time, he told quite an enchanting story through the musical language about chasing after his girl, who chose a Rick Springfield concert over her boo. The two selling points of this particular song, which is as ‘80’s style as it gets, are the skills of Hart and the catchy chorus. I dare you to listen to this and not find yourself singing the chorus to yourself several hours later.


Track 5: Captain Lou’s History of Music/Captain Lou – Captain Lou Albano and George “The Animal” Steele

From a snob musician’s point of view, the introduction is the most moronic thing I think I’ve ever heard in my life. All I can say about the second part (the Captain Lou section) is that it reminds me of the Super Mario Brothers Super Show. It’s nice that Cyndi got to break in her producing chops…but this isn’t a good start. No wonder she used a pseudonym!


Track 6: Hulk Hogan’s Theme – WWF All-Stars

Ooh, we’ve finally got a quasi-ballad to work with here. How can you have an ‘80’s music album without some sort of crappy ballad to fill in the cracks left by cakes, hearts, and history lessons? I guess it’s not really a ballad, but it has the characteristics of one, with long sweeping melody lines, and lots of rich chords to accompany the melodies. Listening to this should make one wonder what would have happened if the U.S. Express had stayed with the WWF and Hulk had to use this theme. Surely it wouldn’t have changed the fever of “Hulkamania,” but we associate “Real American” so closely with Hogan. This just doesn’t seem to fit the Hulkster, or Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling (which used this as its theme) for that matter.

ADDENDUM: Check out what I just found. A user comment on YouTube tipped me off, and I was shocked to find that it was true. Bonnie Tyler’s “Ravishing” anyone (click here)?


Track 7: For Everybody – “Rowdy” Roddy Piper

I immediately love the blues/jazz harmonies and influences evident in this selection. The use of brass is also a dead giveaway as concerns the jazz idioms involved. Roddy isn’t exactly a king as a vocalist, but he certainly brings an entertainment factor, much like the opening number had. I’m a big fan of this, as it brings something different, but isn’t terrible or cheesy like the last two tracks. Here’s an interesting tidbit, though. The original title of the track is “Funk Everybody,” and was also known as “Fuck Everybody” (which makes sense upon second listen), but the latter obviously wouldn’t work for the family friendly product that the World Wrestling Federation was at the time. I looked high and low for a recording of the original, but alas couldn’t find anything for either two of the original titles. It would be neat to hear Piper sing “Fuck Everybody” at the end of each verse.


Track 8: Tutti Frutti – “Mean” Gene Okerlund

Those of you who are old enough to remember (or own the first volume of the WrestleMania anthology) know that Okerlund actually sang the American national anthem at the inaugural event. He did an okay job, but I often wondered why they couldn’t book a celebrity to come in and do it, even though they had celebrities abound for everything else that night (Gene was even tacky enough to ask the audience to sing with him on the recapitulation of the anthem). At any rate, the selection here is the Little Richard hit from the mid ‘50’s, and they stay pretty close to Richard’s interpretation. No problems from my end, as it was a fun little break from all of the long storytelling songs that were all surely to be entrance themes or instrumental in progressing a story arc. This piece was just fun, plain and simple. No need to overanalyze this one.


Track 9: Don’t Go Messin’ with a Country Boy – Hillbilly Jim

Besides Hulk’s theme, this theme has most stood the “test of time,” as even the most novice fans back in 1996-97 knew that this was Hillbilly Jim’s signature song (the Godwinn brothers used this theme in the time frame of which I speak). This is another song that is just fun for fun’s sake, but I feel like it’s too close to another song that serves that exact same purpose. This would have served much better being track four or five, therefore becoming a better buffer between the more substantial tunes. Bad programming on the part of the producers, if you ask me (and you explicitly did by reading this column).


Track 10: Cara Mia – Nikolai Volkoff

I love this. An absolutely excellent way to end the album. Nikolai intentionally sings the lyrics beyond “over the top,” then messes up the ending, followed by denouncing all Western music and singing the Russian national anthem. Vince and company then argue about the validity of his singing, finally cutting off Volkoff’s microphone. You can listen to the end-of-album banter, but I must say that the Russian guy actually has a fairly decent voice, even though he didn’t complement the ‘80’s style music quite the way he probably had hoped. His a cappella national anthem singing was quite solid as well. The jury’s still out on the final witty banter, but I think Nikolai brought a unique end to a fairly predictable album.

Final Thoughts…

My personal favorite: Eat Your Heart Out, Rick Springfield

Most influential/long-lasting: Real American

Most likely to cause listener to commit suicide: Captain Lou’s History of Music/Captain Lou

Well, that was cute…: Tutti Frutti

That was good, but it should have been better: For Everybody

Just…stop: Land of a Thousand Dances/Hulk Hogan’s Theme


You know, I had a ton of fun listening through these circa 1985 musical selections. This is a great way to combine my love of music with my love of professional wrestling. As you can read above, I have quite a few opinions concerning music, whether it is the general state of music today, or the way a certain piece sounds. I had seriously toyed with doing this series as an audio column, but I don’t like the sound of my own voice. Plus, I don’t really want you people to know me outside of these words. At any rate, I would love to hear any comments you have concerning what I presented here (including your favorite and least favorite pieces), or on the column in general. Is it too much? Not enough? Too elitist? Am I talking “above” you fine folks? Then tell me…I’m a big boy, I can take criticism. Just know that I plan on combining albums viewings on future projects; this is a way to “test the waters.” Again, please be sure to tell me what you think, either here at the forums or at lenjr04@gmail.com.

Until the next downbeat…

[Benjamin Button]

Personally, I thought this column was without spot or blemish. You brought your expertise to the rugged WWF stars of the 80’s singing. That in itself is amusing. You have plenty of credibility to write this (That’s a rare plus). Also, I love 80’s wrestling, so I’m a sucker.

You gave us history, facts, and opinions and you kept it interesting, as you also commented on the banter. Excellent job! I can’t tell you my favorite song, because I’ve never heard the CD.

[Box Car Rocco]

Hey Leonard, been really anticipating this and I must say, part one didn't disapoint what so ever. You gave us your usual fun facts and links but this one had a bit more passion then your other columns but not because your others weren't passionate, it's because this was about something you love.

Great stuff Leonard, looking forward to the next part as it was a really fun broken up, but still fun, read.

[Freeman]

Certainly didn't go over my head Leonard, as I am a musician myself. As a result, I really enjoyed this, I think it's good when you can tie in your own profession and interests into a column, you came across as passionate about the subject and with a good knowledge and understanding. Was cool hearing your opinions on the tracks as well, and I agree that Captain Lou's History of Music leaves a lot to be desired, to say the least.

Anyways, no criticism immediately springs to mind with this, so I shall leave you with... A job very well done sir, look forward to the next one.

[Super Chrisss]

"Oh, I wish I had Jessie's girl..."

Gotta love Rick Springfield

Another splendid column, Leonard. It never fails to amaze me how you can so easily combine facts and opinion into an entertaining read. Chances are that if someone else took this topic and wrote about it much like you did, 75% of that dude's readers would find it boring as hell. But you interpret facts into your writing so easily it's hard not to enjoy your work.

Another solid column, my man. When are YOU going to win CotM by the way?

[Cult Icon]

very interesting and opinionated. i actually learned something about the rock n roll wrestling era, which i generally have a bit of disdain for. some parts of this dragged but mostly due to the stupidity of such songs (like the ones by piper or captain lou). otherwise, you were your usual insightful, very well informed self. good job leonard.

[Martin Riggs]

I know nothing of the musical profession, yet nothing went over my head, so credit to you. It's not easy to speak so that both uninitiated and experienced understand and enjoy.

I'm not one to leave without critisism, though, so, trowelling the depths of my brain, going through your smart and polished column, with its accurate spelling and grammar, it's engaging dialogue...

ugh.

Well, there were a few times i lost interest. Maybe because (due to the nature of its style) it felt repetitive, or because you weren't that interested in some of the tracks (more on the 'neutral' side that negative, there were one or two that i felt you didn't really care for either way)

Still, top stuff sir.

[Uncle Joe]

Your research was terrible, you missed the bonus track --

11. Macho Madness - Macho Man

Ooo Yeah baby
It's the Macho Man
Don't hold my hand baby
Cause I'm Nacho man, yeah
I rock your world like only this Macho can, yeah
Will my album flop? Hell no, yeah
You will feel the madness
with one drop off the top from my elbow, yeah
I held a bunch of titles, yeah
so much so, I ain't go more rooms on my shelves though, yeah
I had bitches like Liz and Gorgeous George, yeah
Macho don't got a big nose, but I sure can smell hoes, yeah
I'm too hot to handle
Too col to hold
My nipples get hard when it gets dripped on
with the wax from a candle, yeah
I'm a loose cannon with an even looser handle

Chorus/Hook

I got a big dick, I'm the Macho Man
I the man, I'm the Macho Man
I fucked Stephanie McMahon, I'm the Macho Man
When she was only 6, I'm the Macho Man
Fuck Triple H, I'm the Macho Man
He's a bitch, I'm the Macho Man






I won't hold that against you though, because rock n roll was still king of the world, and Macho's ill rhymes were ahead of his time.




The column was very well put together, and the pic of Mean Gene was icing on the bukkake. Nicely done my friend.

[Leonard]

Ben: Hey thanks! If you want to hear the selections, I suggest following the links above, or looking up some of the tracks on YouTube.

BCR: I really did enjoy writing this...I'm glad that came through. I'm looking forward to continuing this with the pieces of advice that you fine folks have given me in mind.

Freeman: That Captain Lou thing was particularly terrible...I couldn't feel like I could devote any more than 100 words to it without selling my soul to the devil.

Chrisss: "Where can a find a woman/Where can I find a woman like that?" Indeed. Glad you enjoyed it. I know I've gone here before, but I could really care less about Column of the Month. If it happens someday, then fine...that's not what keeps me coming back here, though. Obviously, there's always been a writer/writers better than me, and I'm okay with that. I'll get off my soapbox now.

Cult: I do agree that some of it may have dragged on...I suppose I should have a stronger opinion on all of the tracks to keep the content flowing? Just a thought, I guess. Thanks for reading--as a teacher, I would be cheating my profession if I didn't say that I'm glad you learned something!

Johnny: I dig. Thanks for the criticism. Going off of what I said to Mr. Icon, I will attempt to give a more "set in stone" opinion on each track, rather than abstaining from giving a true musical opinion. Thanks.

Joe:

and the pic of Mean Gene was icing on the bukkake.

Gross. I still think you're neat though.

My apologies for missing the bonus track. I should have known that Macho Man would have rapped about violating Stephanie McMahon before it actually happened...

--Leonard

[Dr Frost]

Well it was good but way to old to even think of it...
BUt i do like the catchy riffs used in Hulkster`s famous song I`m A real American i.e.

[Andy]

I'm not big into music so this wasn't my cup of tea. Still, it was better than I expected because you managed to keep me mildy entertained, and trust me, that's a big achievement with a column of this type. I will be interested to see how the next two reviews go because I would be worried that they might become too 'samey' and it will feel very stale. That's just my opinion, though, and it was well-written.

[LimeFlavored]

You've chosen a topic I've never read about before, you've nailed the spelling and grammar without error, and you kept me reading throughout the column. The ONLY complaint I have about this column are the images, and that isn't your fault because it wasn't like you took them, so you're right on.

This one rocked (pun intended).

[The Maz]

2 massive thumbs up here Leonard. I know you were hesitant but even I was surprised about just how intently I read through this. I loved this, unfortunately too pressed for time to you tube the songs right now but I will definitely get to them at some point. An audio version may have been good but I don't think a necessity. Your writing style is as strong as anyone around here CF or MP. I am not sure if this is going to be a series or not yet. If it is, great. If not, you owe us at least an attitude era one.

[XanMan]

I have to be the voice of dissent here. Essentially, you're reviewing a soundtrack that came out almost 25 years ago and is in all practicability unavailable to your audience. I don't see the point, hence the way I skipped everything after your intro. I'm surprised at the interest this topic has obviously drawn from the majority, but I remain resolute in my dislike of this idea.

[Leonard]

Well, since it's bumped...

Frost: Yes, it is old, but I'm a nostalgic sort of guy. And yes, the riffs in Real American are quite awesome indeed.

Andy: In the back of my mind the whole time I wrote this was how this would read to a non-music fan. While one's not going to strike the fancy of every reader that's not into music, I'm glad to hear that I kept your attention. In writing the next edition, I am looking at ways to make it different from the above column.

Lime: The images are pulled from YouTube screen caps, so they're less than stellar, I'll admit. I'm glad I could rock this column for you.

Mazza: As one of the guys that immediately requested a series for this, I was particularly interested in what you thought on the beginnings of the finished product. I'm glad you read through so swiftly...definitely check out the links when you get a chance, as they add a lot to what I say.

Xan: Yes, I'm reviewing an album that came out 25 years ago. I don't think that makes it pointless. If that's the type of attitude one would have, why review the original WrestleMania? Why write about anything that happened back in the '80's, or even the '90's for that matter? Without looks back into the past, the only columns we'd have here would consist of SummerSlam 2009 reviews, Breaking Point previews/predictions, and lavishly optimistic fantasy booking (which, by the way, I've also done).

...you're reviewing a soundtrack that...is in all practicability unavailable to your audience. I don't see the point, hence the way I skipped everything after your intro.

If you would have kept reading, you would have found that every song I reviewed was linked to YouTube, for your listening pleasure. Maybe it's just me, but I can't understand how you can (for lack of a better term) lampoon a column that you, self-admittedly, skipped over. Don't get me wrong, man, I very much appreciate your criticism...it's what makes my profession go 'round...but I felt the need to send a rebuttal. I guess you can't please everyone; I still like you.

--Leonard

[XanMan]

In that case, I offer an apology. I missed the line about it being linked to youtube, but much like columns involving pictures housed at photobucket or a like storage site, I'm unable of listening/viewing those songs/videos while I'm reading columns during the day. I apologize for the oversight, and obviously if the songs are available on youtube, the relevance criticism goes right out the window. I will try to remember to give this column a fresh read and listen this weekend.