L-MAN'S THOUGHTS ON EVERYTHING WRESTLING #8 Elimination Chamber & WWE The Music Vol 9

[L-Man]

L-MAN`S THOUGHTS ON EVERYTHING WRESTLING NUMBER 8
Welcome one and all to the return of L-MAN'S THOUGHTS ON EVERYTHING WRESTLING. I know i have only been gone 3 weeks but making a return sounds cool so i will go with that. I was going to post a huge column centered around No Way Out 2009 and give my predictions and things of that sort but do to the unexpected board reset it pretty much screwed over my No Way Out column. So i had to scrap that whole column but one thing that i was able to salvage was a little article on the elimination chamber that you will see today. Without further ado lets get started with L-MAN'S THOUGHTS ON EVERYTHING WRESTLING #8


This week i wanted to start with a article that pretty much centers itself around the Elimination Chamber matches. I guess a good way to start would be by stating the rules and commenting on them. According to WWE.com here are the official rules.
Two Superstars will start the match while the remaining four are enclosed in glass pods.
At designated times, a pod will open at random, enabling a Superstar to enter the match. This will continue until all the competitors have been released.
A man is eliminated via pinfall or submission only.
The last man standing is the winner

When i think of the Elimination Chamber Match there are 3 match types that immediately jump into my head. Those matches are: Royal Rumble, Battle Royal, and Hell In A Cell. I guess the match is a little bit of all three of those matches if you think about it. It has a bit or the Royal Rumble in it as 2 superstars start in the ring and over time more and more superstars come in the ring. It is a bit of a battle royal as superstars can get eliminated and the last one standing is the winner. I guess the WWE creative team or whoever the hell comes up with the matches just brainstormed a couple of the matches that they already had and threw them all into one. At least there is definitely something for every WWE fan in the elimination chamber match.

The only big thing that i don't like about the elimination chamber match is the fact that there are two big PPV's in a row that heavily rely on a gimmick match and that makes all of the other matches fairly short. Make no mistake here, i love the idea of the elimination chamber match but i hate having 2 PPV's in a row with a very little amount of matches. During the Royal Rumble the Royal Rumble Match made the WWE and World Heavyweight Championship matches look like mid card bouts. I definitely have no problem watching 2 PPV's that center around 1 or 2 big matches but the fact that they are directlty after each other is what pisses me off.

I really wanted to salvage something from the No Way Out column and that was basically the only thing that could work.

WWE The Music Volume 9 Review

#1 Randy Orton Voices In My Head: This is probably my favourite song out of the whole album. I really like the words in this song and i think that sometimes when Randy Orton is standing in the ring it looks like he is arguing with the voices in his head. "They tell me what im gonna do, they show me things ill do to you" is probably one of the coolest lines of the whole song in my opinion. The thing i like about the song is how perfectly the lyrics and music fit together. I give this song 4 out of 5 stars.

Rating:**** Out of 5 stars

#2 Maryse Pourquoi?: This song is completely in French so people that don't speak French will probably be like WTF is she trying to say. The weird part about this song is that i think it is about rape. I speak French quite well so it was easy for me to decode what she was saying. Here are the first couple of lines:
Why?
How?
Why?
How?
Why are you so beautiful?
Why do you move like that?
Why do you hurt me?
Oh yes!
Oh yes!
(Chorus)
After reading that what do you think this song is about? I am actually pretty sure that this is the watered down and edited out version of the song because i remember reading the lyrics on the internet and there was a line that said "Why do you touch me like that?". Maybe i am wrong maybe i am not ill let you guys be the judge. All i know is the words were mediocre at best and the music was pretty stupid. I give this song 2 out of 5.

Rating: ** on 5 stars

#3 Kane Man On Fire: This song just gives me the heebie jeebies for some reason. It is just like a creepy mix of horror movie music. When this song plays you almost instantly know that there is a complete monster coming out from behind the curtain. This song goes perfectly with his whole hellfire and brimstone evil maniac gimmick that he has going. I honestly cant really comment on the lyrics as their were none but i can say that the beat and the instrumentals were completely awesome. I am going to take away one star because it doesn't have any words though. I give this song a 3 out of 5 stars rating.

Rating: *** out of 5 stars

#4 Kung Fu Naki Kung Fu San: Wow. This song was definitely interesting especially if you listen to the little rapper guy with the funny voice. This was petty much a rip off of Kung Fu Fighting but it was definitely unique in the lyrics and such. I definitely enjoyed the cool ninja sound effects at the start as they made it sound pretty cool. This is definitely the perfect song for Kung Fu Naki as it goes perfectly with his gimmick. I give this song 3 out of 5 stars.

Rating: *** out of 5 stars

#5 Kelly Kelly Holla: Man i love this song. The little voice or the ummm interesting lyrics is what makes me enjoy it. This is probably one of the better divas entrance songs as it goes perfectly the divas character. I would recommend that you go to youtube to check this one out because i cant really explain this one. It was a good song with some interesting lyrics but im surprised Teddy Long's theme song isn't called Holla. I give this song a 3 out of 5 stars rating.

Rating: *** out of 5 stars

#6 R-Truth What's Up?: What's up readers? Man i don't know what makes me like this song maybe because its one of the only songs on the album that is actually sang by the superstar that uses them. Some people might criticize his raspy scratchy voice but i think that it gives the song a sense of uniqueness. He also throws in some pretty cool rhymes and lines in to. I think that the song goes perfectly with his rapper gimmick because he actually raps it himself. I give this song a 3.5 out of 4 stars rating.

Rating: ***.5 out of 5 stars rating.

Vladmir Kozlov Pain:: So this song starts with mangled Russian and a interesting drum beat followed by a wicked guitar solo with even more mangled Russian. Apparently from what i read in the comments on Youtube what he is saying in Russian is "I shall kill you". What a nice guy. This kind of fits in with his character as the big ass Russian guy that destroys everybody. If you ask me the Russian part at the start would have been enough for me as my favourite part of the song was the instrumentals. This is another great theme song though with a cool beat and music. I didn't know if i should give this a 3 or 4 star rating so i decided to go with another 3.5.

Rating: ***.5 on 5 stars

#8 The Great Khali Land Of 5 Rivers: This song also starts with a weird language i am not familiar with. What else is new. This song had a interesting beat and music to it and the Punjabi (i think that is what language they were speaking) went along great with the song and instruments. I think his new song pretty much completely solidifies the fact that his new gimmick is not the destructive Punjabi nightmare that he used to be. All in all it was a decent enough song with a cool name and it goes well with his gimmick. I give this song a 3 out of 5 star rating.

Rating: *** out of 5 stars

#9 Eve She Looks Good: The main verse in this is "She looks good to me she's got everything i want she got everything i need". And the second verse is "She looks so good to me every time i see her i can feel a breeze". The whole entire song was basically those 2 lines over and over and over again for 2:18 seconds of my life i will never see again. Honestly this is the worst on the album so far. Any song that only says 2 lines over and over again is more like a poem and not a song. All that i can say is when i saw Eve live "She looked good to me". I give thus song a 2.5 out of three stars.

Rating: **.5 out of 5 stars

#10 Jack Swagger Get On Your Knees: I heard the All American American's theme song for the first time and i enjoyed it. My favourite part of the song was definitely the sweet guitar solo that happened towards the end. This was a pretty good song that was probably the runner up best song on the album from what i have listened to so far. It had a cool beat and instrumentals also and the lyrics also went with it. This song goes well with his gimmick as he is more of the bow down and get on your knees and worship me because i am the greatest wrestler ever. I give this song a 3.5 out of 5 stars rating.

Rating: ***.5 out of f stars


#11 Smackdown Rock Like Me: I am probably the biggest dumb ass on the CF right now as i spent at least 5 minutes trying to think of what superstar used this theme song. It just sounded so damn familiar so i thought it might have been a PPV theme song but once again i was wrong. For the Smackdown theme song this doesn't really work because the only thing that really describes wrestling is like the first to phrases of the song. The rest of it is basically some guy asking you if you rock like him. It does though have some pretty sweet guitar solos which almost completely make up for the lack of words and wrestling meaning. All in all i will give this song a 3 on 5 star rating.

Rating: *** on 5 stars

#12 Umaga Tribal Trouble: This song starts with a weird grunt, yell, scream yawn thing and then it cuts into drums that sound a little bit like Umaga's old entrance music. Although there are no words in this song at all the strange tribal yells that were in the background during the song mixed perfectly with the beat. This is like Umaga;s old theme song only allot cooler with a lot more details. Overall this was a good song that goes with his tribal warrior Samoan bulldozer gimmick. I give this song a 3 out of 5 star rating.

Rating: *** out of 5 stars

#13 Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase Priceless: The song opens up with a scratchy voice that says "Im priceless, yeah baby im priceless". I guess that that really shoots the point out there that Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase are priceless. A funny part in the song was that in one line i am pretty sure it said "Im priceless investing in me will be righless". Rightless? I am almost completely sure that that is what the singer said. Sadly i think that it kind of rips off the Million Dollar Man gimmick as being rich and priceless (even though Cody and Ted don't have a rich gimmick yet i am sure it will come). This was overall a great song where the voice was a little scratchy but the song was still enjoyable. I give this song a 3 out 0f 5 star rating.

Rating: *** out of 5 stars

All of my votes for the songs were on 5 stars and there were 13 songs so 13x5=65. So that makes the overall album review:
45/65 Stars
I guess that is a decent rating nothing great but good. This was definetly a multi cultural and multi language column as there were songs in French, Russian, Punjabi and English. I enjoyed writing this article because i got to listen to the whole album a couple of times on youtube which is something i would have never done had i not wrote a column about it. I hope you guys enjoyed it.

L-MAN'S WEEKLY WHAT IF'S? Coming Soon
I started a thread called TNA What If? and i am pretty sure that there is a WWE What If? thread also so each week i will pick a couple of What If's and respond to them. Sadly i just realized that there was no WWE What If? thread yet so i am going to go and make one and hopefully have some material for next week.

Superstar Of The Week

Shawn Michaels

This week`s Superstar Of The Week was the toughest yet. There were lots of runner ups this week and with a huge high profile PPV behind us big things happened. But i am proud to announce that this week`s superstar of the week is none other than my favorite wrestler of all time Shawn Michaels. There were 2 big things that ultimately cemented HBK in as my superstar of the day. He won to large high profile matches both against JBL that 1: Took him out of the contract with JBL and 2: Gave him his dream match with The Undertaker at Wrestlemania. To Shawn Michaels i applaud you.

The Last Laugh
The last laugh is where i leave you fine people here at the columns forum a message or writers notes and possibly a Youtube video here and there.

Well that was number 8 in the bag and i have a couple of announcements to make before i sign off.

Me and Kano (The Editor Of The RKO Editions) have officially teamed up to do 2 Wrestlemania columns one before and one after Mania. I can`t release to many details yet but what i can say is that it will reek of awsome.

In the next two or 3 weeks i will be posting a column that is all about storylines. The column was a challenge by SailorJerry.

If you guys could please tell me what you think of the Album Review as if it gets some positive feedback i might try it again some time in the future.

The CF columnist JasonBoy has just posted his latest column and at the end there is a Year End Award and we are both hoping for a turnout so here it is:

Rules
You can only vote once.
You can vote for any wrestler including indy guys.
You can’t vote for any dead superstars
Please use the voting sheet, I give you.

1) Superstar of the Year (Any wrestler)
2) Diva of the Year (Any Women)
3) Championship of the Year (Any belt that was current at the end of Wrestlemania 24 or anytime afterward is valid)
4) Show of the Year (Smackdown , Raw, ECW, Impact) (Must be televised)
5) Video Game of The Year ( Any game released within the March 2008-March 2009 Period is Valid)
6) Rookie Of The Year (No Restrictions)
7) Injury Prone superstar of the Year ( Must have been injured at least once.)
8) PPV of the Year (Excluding Wrestlemania 24)
9) Match of The Year ( Excluding Wrestlemania 24) Please include date and show.
10) Entrance through out the Year ( Must have used entrance for 1 month at the least)
11) Return of the Year (Must have made a return following injury)
12) Non- Wrestler of the Year (Must be a Non-Wrestler)

Please use this voting sheet (if you wish to include comments, please do so below the voting sheet)

1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)
11)
12)
WJB Hall Of Fame (Please See Below)
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
Please write any other comments below.



WJB Hall Of Fame
Please write 5 superstars you feel should be inducted into the WJB Hall Of Fame.
These superstars have already been inducted last year.
1) Eddie Guerrero
2) The Rock
3) Andre The Giant
4) Jake The Snake Roberts
5) Chris Beniot
The Top 5 Superstar with’s Vote will be added to the Hall of Fame
Putting a superstar in spot 1 is worth 5 points
2 is worth 4 Points
3 is worth 3 Points
4 2
5 1
That is JasonBoy`s awards and you can either PM me or him your votes or post it in our feedback.

I hope you all enjoyed my 8th column here at the CF.
Thanks for reading and let the feedback rain down uppon me.

Seeya next time, L-MAN.

[cicero]

1- Nigel McGuiness; First man to hold the ROH World Title for a calender year.
2- Awesome Kong; Only for the first half.
3- ROH World Title; A lot of big names (from across the globe) have wrestled for this title this year.
4- Smackdown; Considering the restrictions it was the clear winner.
5- Portal; Because, fuck you, Portal is still better than anything else out there.
6-Kenny Omega
7-Edge?
8-Rising Above (ROH)
9-Nigel McGuiness vs. Bryan Danielson (Rising Above, November 22)
10- Bryan Danielson 'Final Countdown'
11- Randy Orton
12- Mark Cuban/Cary Silkin


as for the column, it was ok... tad dull. I don't much care for WWE music (not your fault i know) and you kind of sabotaged your own bit about the Elimination Chamber.

[Box Car Rocco]

1) Kurt Angle
2) Awesome Kong
3) The TNA world tag team championship
4) Impact
5) SD vs Raw 09
6) Evan Bourne
7) Randy Orton
8) Turning point 2009
9) Edge vs The Undertaker at Summerslam
10) MVP's tunell entrance
11) Edge
12) Matt Striker

The album review was nicely done and was a good read. I don't really know most of the themes on that CD so it was interesting to get your thoughts.

[Leonard]

Hi L-Man:

I always think of WarGames when the Elimination Chamber comes up. The Horsemen had some classics in those matches.

I enjoyed reading about the latest WWE album release. As a music teacher, we're supposed to incorporate all types of musics from different cultures throughout our school year. I guess I could use this album! HA!

Well, it was funny to me. Anyways, you said there were many runner-ups for SOTD...so tell us who and why!

I thought the middle section was great, but the outer sections were too short (not enough depth). Otherwise, I enjoyed reading! I look forward to reading again soon.

My votes:
1) Chris Jericho
2) Beth Phoenix
3) WWE Championship
4) RAW
5) Ha, I have no clue...I'll go with the one my nephew plays, Lego Batman
6) Evan Bourne
7) Mr. Kennedy
8) No Mercy
9) Jericho v. Michaels, Ladder Match, No Mercy, October 5, 2008
10) Randy Orton
11) Randy Orton
12) MIKE ADAMLE (I know, Lego Batman has a better chance...)
WJB Hall Of Fame
1) Ric Flair
2) Ricky Steamboat
3) Curt Hennig
4) Ted DiBiase
5) Sting

[SailorJerrry]

Nice work L-MAN.

There's some significant improvement in the elimination chamber section of your column and your paragraph on having two ppvs with gimmick matches in a row was particularly strong. It was still too short, but you seem to be getting better every time.

I have to say I wasn't too keen on the soundtrack section, but that has more to do with having formed my own opinions on the tunes then whether it was good or not. That being said, your personality really came through here and I particularly liked the following:

#11 Smackdown Rock Like Me: I am probably the biggest dumb ass on the CF right now as i spent at least 5 minutes trying to think of what superstar used this theme song.

LMAO

There were some spelling mistakes and misuse/lack of use of capitals such as "i" instead of "I", so don't forget to proofread as well as using spellcheck - but overall you're starting to come along nicely.

Read you next time.

[The Maz]

L-Man - This was a nice little column. I liked the review of the music but the elimination chamber bit felt a bit forced but apart from that, there was a nice structure to this column. However, it was stil plagued with typos and grammar issues. Jest read back your opening paragraph and you will see what I mean. Don't be afraid to proof read.

[Martin Riggs]

The music section was good, I'll say that right off the bat. The fact that you went through each song was cool because you had an opinion about each song, you weren't just listing and rating. I liked that!

[L-Man]

Feedback

JohnnyBoomerang-Thanks man i am glad that you enjoyed mmy column as i wasnt sure if anybody would enjoy the album review.

Mazza-Yeah Mazza i agree with you here that spelling and grammar mistakes are what is significantly bringing me down. I will defiently keep that in mind when i start my next column.

SailorJerry- Thanks man (by man i mean girl)

I am sad to hear you werent to keen on my album review but, when i wrote this i kept in mind that it was definetly not for everyone.

Thanks for the kind words about the elimianation chamber as i wasn't expecting to get many since No Way Out was 2 weeks ago. I tried my best though to elaborate on each point that i made as much as possible

As i mentioned in Mazza's feedback i will definetly try and get rid or the spelling and grammar mistakes next time

lenjr04- Hey man maybe you might be able to use some of these songs for your music class (just make sure none of the kids speak french). I am glad you enjoyed my album review though. One thing that i might do is scale down on how many outer sections i have and just elaborate more on one or 2 other topics.

BCR- Thanks you for reading once again man. I an also glad to hear you enjoyed my album review as the feedback i got for it turned out a lot better then expected.

Cicero-Yes as i mentioned already i knew the almbum review would not be for everybody. And sadly i agree that i may have sabotaged my elimination chamber part.

Thanks for the feedback everybody and any more feedback from readers is highly appreciated.

[Kano]

As I have told you this was an enjoyable read and I liked the whole music review. Minor Errors here and there but still it is an enjoyable read and you improve week in week out. So well done

Bring on the Granddaddy of them all

[TheMonkeyBoy]

I liked this, I feel you could of just expanded a bit more on the EC Chamber bit but it was still good.

Also, you stopped me from wasting money buying the WWE CD so thank you lol.

Good work man.

[Cult Icon]

really good man. i liked the music review, although i disagree w ortons theme being better than swaggers. otherwise, i was entertained throughout and really enjoyed this. good job, ill read you again.

[L-Man]

Sorry im so late for feedback

Kano: Thanks man, glad you enjoyed it. The Granddaddy will be the greatest man

Cult Icon: Again it was good to see positive feeback and see pople enjoyed it

Monkey Jr: Thanks man, im glad i saved you 15$