Beyond The Walls #19 - Last Notice

[Super Chrisss]

The lights are dim. It's almost midnight. A young man sits by himself in his orange-and-yellow hotel room, drinking down his fifth straight beer. He has just gotten off the phone and is pondering his next move. Stroking his beard, he goes over to his suitcase, takes out his Laptop, and brings it with him on the mattress. After logging on to Twitter and several pornographic websites, he decides to type an email. All of a sudden, he feels a sharp pain in his head and he is now in pain. He wonders if the drugs had anything to do with it. Nevertheless, he is determined to type his message. After going through his contacts, he selects one name from the list and starts typing.

Mr. McMahon,

How could you do this to me? Me, of all people? Back when you first signed me to that glorious WWE contract in 2000 it was a dream come true for me. All the possible matches I could have, the dream opponents, all in the middle of the Attitude Era. I was so pumped! Sadly I was unable to make it onto television because you and other officials deemed me 'not yet ready' for the big time and sent me to uselessly train my skills in Memphis Championship Wrestling. I mean come on! I may have been a bit young, but I was already flying around the ring a million times better than most of your 'stars'. When MCW closed down, it seemed that you had forgotten all about me, as I was released from my contract. You have no cidea what that felt like do you? Imagine being 5 years old again and waking up on Christmas morning only to discover no presents underneath the tree. That's how much it hurt Vince, but you didn't care. For you it was always all about the money. Pfft. I never wanted to be rich; I wanted to be a WWE superstar.

The world can be cruel sometimes but there are times when God answers your prayers. After I spent another year competing in the independent circuit, you realized (or should I say, remembered) my potential and re-signed me in late 2002. At first I was a bit skeptic that you would keep me around longer than a year as history does tend to repeat itself, but despite your unholy love for the 'bigger' guys such as Brock, John, and Paul, you stayed true to your word and I kept my job. I even lasted a hell of alot longer than Morgan, Jones, and Brock, but those guys were more meat-headed than a serving of frozen dinner, as they didn't appreciate their position with the company, so hey, no 'big' loss. Haha nice pun eh? You see Vince, I can be witty as well. It's a shame you waited almost five years to give me some actual mic time, but I digress.

Suddenly, the man's hands begin to shake and he starts feeling woozy. Pausing from his work, he gets up and walks to the pathetic excuse of a hotel bathroom. Walking over to the sink, he splashes cold water on his face and looks at himself in the cracked mirror. Staring back at him is a 30 year old man that lost his smile a long time ago. A smile he once thought he could never get rid of, no matter what setbacks he went through. Sighing, he closes the water tap and makes his way back to his laptop. The banging in his head refuses to stop, but he will make it stop, because he can. Reaching once more into his leather suitcase, he pulls out a bottle of pills and pops down six little helpers in one shot. Washing them down with some beer, he sits back down and continues to type.

Looking back, my WWE career wasn't all that bad. I had one of the most successful and longest title reigns in years, and that's nothing to be ashamed of. Sure, it may have been a tag-team championship reign, but I guess beggers can't be choosers. I just don't understand why it took you so long to realize that I was a much better singles perfomer. I didn't need anyone holding me back or sharing the same spotlight as me! I may have needed someone to watch my back due to all the giants lurking in the locker room, but a partner? Forget it! I would have been the perfect guy to win the United States or Intercontinental title and bring back some if it's prestige, but you didn't see things that way. You gave me the opportunity to main-event a WWE pay-per-view and I did my best! I, as well as a shitload of other people, thought that I looked like a star that night. I may not have been the biggest guy on the roster, but I had the look! I had the skills! I had the charisma! Hell, people were even calling me the next Shawn Michaels! Imagine that, Vince. You had a future star in your hands but you refused to let me shine. You pushed everyone and their moms' before me! You just kept burying me on Smackdown, and then on Raw, until finally you lost interest in me and decided to release me AGAIN.

I`m fed up Vince. You shuold be glad that I am now out of your hair once and for all. I could always go back to ROH and make my rounds there, but you know; been there, done that. TNA is another option, but again; been there, done that.

So what now? Do I give up on wrestling completely and start looking for work around town, like a nobody? Do I try and make a few bucks by writing a book? Lord knows it would be a hell of alot better than anything Batista could write. Even with an editor on hand, that dumb-dumb still managed to spell 'imagination' wrong! That's right Vince, one of your top 'stars' doesn't even know how to spell! How can you -

Suddenly, the man begins to sway. The throbbing in his head has returned and he feels like passing out. Still, he must go on.

How can you just throw away a young, talented superstar like myself but keep a big, old gorilla-sissy on your payroll? I don't know what the hell goes on in that rated-PG head of yours Vince but it's time you wake up and smell the coffee. This illusion of 'entertainment' that you put on television week after week is getting old. One day, people are going to get fed up of seeing Cena, Orton and Hunter battle for the WWE title every damn month. They will want to see blood. They want at least some kind of 'attitude'. When the fans start rebelling against your PG Cena-nation, don't you dare come begging me for help. I -

His fingers go numb. He can type no more. His upper body slumping over, he realizes that he is out of time. His breathing is now labored, and it is a struggle for him to remain conscious. With his eyes closing and his heart beating ever so slowly, he summons all the strength he has left and reaches for his keyboard.

I will not return because I cannot return. HBK fought his demons and won, but I have lost. I am not strong enough. Goodbye Vince. Maybe one day we will meet again, but I hope to God we do not.

Sincerely,
T-

He cannot finish. His body will not let him. With all his might, he moves the cursor to the bottom of the screen and clicks 'SEND'.

There. It is done. He can get some rest now. He may never wake up, but that is a small price to pay. At least this way, people will always remember THE Brian Kendrick...

[Uncle Joe]

This was well written Chrissss, but Kendrick sounded mad homo. The dude was a major pothead, so I would have liked to see this written from that perspective, instead of making him sound like he's crying and jerking his cock. Also, he was known for jerking off a lot, so it would have been cool to hear him from THAT perspective, sans the crying. Like:

"Vince you bastard . . . uhhhhh yes . . . I'm going to proooooove . . . uhhhh . . . that you miiiised OUT on the neext besssst . . . thi uuuuhhh." Or whatever it looks like when someones typing and jerking off at once.

[Andy]

I like Kendrick, and after reading this, I feel even more sorry for the guy. For this column, you stepped out of your comfort zone (I think) and you knocked it out of the park. I've read another letter quite similar to this today, and I thought "oh no, not again", but I was wrong again, as I really enjoyed this. Also, I found that it was very realistic and well written.

It's a shame that there was one typo earlier on, but still, good work. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

[Roger Murtaugh]

From a writing stand point I thought the column was great, especially the narrations. I actually had to read this one twice to decide my thoughts on the Kendrick voice and then I decided on this: it's kind of like that drunk buddy at the party who gets super emotional. That's how I looked at Kendrick in this.

Good work



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Now playing: Primus - Eclectic Electric
via FoxyTunes

[Freeman]

Actaully there were two or trhee typos herer, but not to wrry. (See what I did there?)

Ah Chrisss... Predictable. Guy gets released, column written, guy not revealed in it until the end, familiar pattern, you know the dig. Er, yeah, so what I'm trying to say is from the moment I read the first few lines I knew it was about Kendrick.

However props for trying something new, and even more props for producing something of this quality. 'Twas engaging and well written, and a nice little twist at the end. You could've gone down the humour route like Joe said, but would you of pulled it off?

Still, top quality effort, I really liked it, apart from those blasted mistakes. Keep it up, you're stock seems to be on the rise round here. Oh, and I think we have a landmark BTW next edition? See you for number twenty bro!

EDIT: Ok, just noticed this...

Step outside of your Walls, and into mine: http://www.lopforums.com/showthread....501#post114501

Step into my walls? Got homo written all over it.

[Jason Boy]

Hey Super Chrisss, I never saw much in TBK as a heel, this was one heck of a column, you are tuning up mistakes with every single column. Nice Job can't wait for the 20th one

[Coolio]

lol i see why you thought i was writing the same thing eariler. I've never been a big fan of Kendrick, but this was a good read, and it does make you wonder what goes through these wrestlers minds when they get released by WWE. I'll read you next time.

[Box Car Rocco]

Didn't like Spanky, didn't have a character that interested me enough despite his above average wrestling ability. Won't miss him but this was a fun read either way I flip the pancake (what?).

[The Maz]

It is funny how typos are much more noticeable an a really well written piece. Yeah, there were a couple that really jumped out here but not to worry as the writing was superb. Your voice (or TBK's voice) was excellent here and it is good to see you are a man with many strings to your bow. Well done.

[Petre Dyche]

Nice little column Chrissstobel; a swerve on the profile piece by doing it in the first person and that's cool.

Can't wait for something a little more lively for #20 lol. Good job bro!

[Super Chrisss]

Uncle Joe - LOL! I was considering going funny, but I was worried about royally fucking it up, so I played it safe. Talking (or writing) like a crackpot would have been fun though

Andy - Stupid typo(s)! I'm glad you liked it man, you're a pretty tough critic nowadays so thanks for the comments!

Doc Monk - Haha nice comparison Doc. It may have taken you two reads, but I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the feedback.

Freeman - You're tough on me, and it's very hard to please you Freeman (no homo). Still, I'm glad you saw past the basic forumla and decided to enjoy my work. Also, you call me a homo but you fail to mention the beautiful girl in my sig?? Come on man! Thanks for the feedback as always.

Jason Boy - To each his own, I suppose. I'm working on fixing those annoying typos as much as I can, trust me! Glad you liked it.

coolio - Then you know why I almost lost my cool lol. It is a very interesting question, hopefully I was onto something. Thanks for the feedback bro.

Box Car Rocco - What? Okkk. He wasn't my favorite wrestler either, but I did like his pairing with Big Zeke. Ironically, Zeke is still employed and kind of being pushed so lol @ that.

Mazza - I swear I must have re-read the damn thing at least five times, but I am human, you know. Or am I? Thanks for the comments man, it's greatly appreciated.

Petre Dyche - Chrissstobel? Seriously? Whatever dude, I'll ignore that. I'm not quite sure yet what I got going down for #20, but I will try and rock your socks back into your pants! Umm yeah. Thanks for the feedback friend.

[Benjamin Button]

liked how you had him look at pornography as one of his last acts, since when he was Spanky he said he masturbated often. I liked it. I think it was a great start for this month. He is a good entertainer and shouldn't be screwed with so much. This fictitious column managed to capture that truth.

[Super Chrisss]

Benjamin Button -- All I have to say is LOL! I'm glad you picked up on the whole porno thing as everyone else seemed to have just forgotten about it. Thanks for agreeing with the 'truth' and thanks for reading bro.

[Jason Boy]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8O0w84O8ylk, this showed his true talent. He was doing a good job for making his debut. The column was great and i enjoyed it even more when I re-read it