The Classic Paper Review - Vol XX – UK vs. US – Battle for Supremacy

[The Maz]

Vol XX – UK vs. US – BATTLE FOR SUPREMACY

Are you already to relive all the fun, games and racial tension that took over the CF throughout June? No – well I guess you should click back. If you are ready however, my name is Mazza and this is a special UK vs. US edition of The Classic Paper Review. The Battle for Supremacy had been brewing since before the epic CSI tournament and came about after numerous arguments on how to spell the word “colour”. It started out with me throwing out the idea in the Writers Block and people got interested. Before we knew it, Skaos (remember him?) was hooking up patriotic sigs left right and centre and we waited for the right time to start.

Remember these?

The problem was, nobody was ready to seriously step up to the plate to get the thing organised. Enter Mavsman. He decided to forsake his chance to join his beloved Team US to run the tournament and get things started so it is only fitting that he should talk about how it all got going.

Mavsman: The idea of pitting the United States against the United Kingdom in a column writing competition first began circulating around March of this year. Excitement was high while the basic details were being hammered out, but the concept soon fizzled. Since the timeframe for the contest to be held was discussed to be in June, around May I threw my name into the hat to spearhead the competition. Lots of work remained in the area of hammering out the logistics. But looking back, I think I made the right choice in running the tournament over competing in it (something I considered). Once the contest began, everything seemed to be running smoothly. I had no idea just how much work the competition would require (securing both topics and scores from the judges, fielding questions, keeping the competition alive and thriving, etc.) to continue any semblance of a smooth-running contest.

THE FACTS

Tournament: UK vs. US – Battle for Supremacy
Organiser: Mavsman
Judges: Sean Taylor, romans_3:23 and pt2
Number of Participants: 20
Number of Columns: 43

The team selection for the 6-on-6 battle would be down to team captains, Degenerate and Joey Shinobi. They would handpick two members and Deg chose SkittleZ and Xan whereas Joey went with Sheepster and Mazza. The other three members of each team would be chosen through….

…THE WRITE-OFF

The write off round would be 2,500 words on a topic of the writer’s choosing. Each team had seven people vying for 3 spots and a good job was done by all. For Team USA, Coolio, Jason Boy, TheLipBomb and Andy Savana would unfortunately missed out as Degenerate decided that Doc Mock, BeyondKnight and James_A would be the soldiers going into battle for America.

For the British, present and future COTM winners Cicero and JohnnyBoomerang were clear choices and made the team but in what some saw as a shock, CF newcomer MyLeeCyrus made Team UK at the expense of new Main Pager, ‘Plan. Time would tell whether or not Joey had made a huge mistake or not. The other guys that did not quite make it for the UK were Eoghan, Mac and thankfully the king of plagiarism, NightofDay. With the teams all decided, it was time for the serious competition to get underway.

ROUND 1

The first stage of the tournament would bring a tough collaboration round with a very tight time limit. The captains were given the three topics to distribute amongst their team but the other team would not know who they were facing until the columns were posted. This led to a lot of guessing games to add to the stress of round 1.

Mazza & MyLeeCyrus defeated Degenerate & SkittleZ 7.33 to 6.67 on WrestleCrap
These two teams had to write on their all time number one WrestleCrap moments. Mazza and MyLee adopted Mr Cyrus’ 7 Things I Hate About You format and broke WrestleCrap down into seven categories. Mazza chose Mae Young’s nudity and MyLee chose Edge’s cashing in on his affair with Lita as the ultimate distasteful wrestling moments. The Deg-SkitZ partnership asked us to Taste their Struggle. They focused on King of the Ring 1995 and the InVasion as total rubbish in the world of pro wrestling. When all was said and done, the experienced American duo came up second best to old n00b and n00bier n00b but round one was only getting started.
Winner: Team UK

James_A & XanMan defeated JoeyShinobi & JohnnyBoomerang 7.33 to 7.17 on Ethnic Insensitivity
Joey and J-Boom decided to attack the subject of ethnic insensitivity from a business and an actor’s perspective respectively. They took quite a bit of criticism for not working “together” but it was a more than solid effort that was beaten by a very good (and I feel underrated by the judges) effort based on the Shawshank Redemption by Xan and Jimmy.
Winner: Team US

Doc Monk & BeyondKnight defeated Cicero and Sheepster 7.33 to 4.83 on Inanimate Object
For me, a collab between the Doc and BK could have been absolutely phenomenal. It turned out to be a very good effort that was enough for victory… eventually. I mean how bad could a column about Triple H’s jockstrap be? The first controversial moment of the tournament came with Cici and Sheep’s effort. The judges scored their strange piece about tables as the best of the round and it is hard to argue with their logic. There was innuendo a plenty but also shenanigans. I won’t get into the whys and wherefores (mainly because I am still not 100% sure of what happened myself) but the result was the column was docked 3 points and the Eyes of a Nation were shining.
Winner: Team US

Sheep and Cici were not too happy about their punishment but at the end of the first round, Team US were holding a 2-1 lead. I would call the round a success with 6 very good columns but I think given a little more time in this round, it could have been better.

ROUND 2

Going into the second round trailing, Team UK received “home field advantage”. This meant that Captain Shinobi would get to chose two from a number of stipulations. He would decide who would be facing off against each other on the six subjects and that the Brits would have their deadline extended by two days. Team UK knew they would have to make a mark in this round before Team US would be at home and boy did they do that.

Mazza defeated BeyondKnight 7.67 to 5.67 on The British Bulldog
Mazza really had to dig deep to find the inspiration for round 2 and turned to the “man” who helped him see off Degenerate in CSI, ET Renegade. This diehard Bret Hart mark was in a great position to pay tribute to his idol’s brother-in-law. BK brought his usual style and originality to the subject but was overlooked by the judges as he fell to Mazza yet again.
Winner: Team UK

Doc Monk defeated JoeyShinobi 8.33 to 7.83 on General Managers
When it came to the subject of wrestling’s authority figures, Doc’s superb memory helped him go all the way back to Jack Tunney. He produced a very strong piece which took a good look at many GM’s from over the years. Joey also played to his strengths here and scored higher than all the other Team US members in this round but unfortunately for him, it was not enough to beat the good doctor.
Winner: Team US

Sheepster versus XanMan on WrestleMania 27 ended in a No-Contest
Can anyone say controversy? Well here is the big talking point of the second round. Fellow CSI judges went head to head on selling a city in their home country to be a host for WrestleMania 27. Xan gave a strong showing which the judges scored at 7.33 but Sheepster produced a great column and argument which was scored at 8.33. The issue is that some people felt that Sheep had not clearly nominated one city. The judges deemed the column acceptable but there was another issue. Before the round started, Xan had clarified the rules with Mavs and was forced to edit his ideas. With a CF war on the cards, an amicable decision was reached that the tie would be ruled a no contest and Sheep and Xan would face off in a tie breaker at the end of the tournament in the event of a draw.
Winner: No Contest

JohnnyBoomerang defeated Degenerate 7.67 to 6.67 on Golf/Champions
This match up was a case of innovation against information. Deg played it safe and focussed very strongly on his opinions of the champions. J-Boom on the other hand invented a whole new game of golf which meant less detail in fact and opinion. In the end though, it was Boomer who pulled it out of the bag.
Winner: Team UK

Cicero defeated SkittleZ 7 to 5.67 on WWE/ROH
There is a lesson to be learnt here, even Main Page Magoo/Mojo doesn’t hit the high notes every time. Also it is to be noted that candy + drugs + column may not be the best idea. Cici on the other hand transitioned nicely in the world of normality and sold RoH very well to a non-watcher like myself.
Winner: Team UK

MyLeeCyrus defeated James_A 7.67 to 4.33 on Father’s Day
Jimmy and MyLee compared the current crop of WWE second generation superstars to their fathers. Both had a more than solid outing but the combination of MyLee using Top Trump cards and Jimmy posting late led to the Brit n00b taking the match up rather comfortably.
Winner: Team UK

The posting of the results saw the backlash from the Sheep-Xan match up but once all was said and done, the UK took round 2 4-1 to take a 5-3 lead into the final round. Hopefully round 3 would not be surrounded in so much controversy.

ROUND 3

Would Team US be able to recover to win 4 on the third round ties to take it to a play off? Only time would tell as Deg chose the same stipulations as Joey did for the previous round.

JohnnyBoomerang defeated Andy Savana (Replacing BeyondKnight) 8 to 7.5 on Time Machine
With wife of BK giving birth, Mr Knight pulled out of round 3 and was replaced by Andy Savana. The category was to go back in time and change one moment in wrestling history. J-Boom really made people think with his column, eventually deciding not to change anything, or did he? Andy also stepped up to the plate well and was just as inventive on reliving previous thoughts through column snippets. In the end, it was Johnny who ground out the victory.
Winner: Team UK

XanMan defeated Cicero 8 to 7.33 on Weak Heels/Dominant Faces
Xan and Cici tackled the subject of weak heels and dominant faces in the industry. Both took on the subject in their own, very different styles but it was the experience of Xan that allowed him to pull out the victory in a tight contest.
Winner: Team US

SkittleZ defeated Sheepster 2 – 0 on WWE/TNA
Please do not adjust your sets, the score in this tie really was 2-0. SkitZ had something to prove after a less than stellar second round and we were expecting Sheep to try and keep a low profile after the controversy that seemed to be following him in the tournament. The result, an oddly placed Fact or Fiction from SkitZ and a no-show from Sheep.
Winner: Team US

Degenerate and JoeyShinobi drew at 7.17 each on ECW Survival
Amazingly neither captain had managed to score a point for their team in the first two rounds. The topic was a look at how ECW could have survived in the world of professional wrestling. Both Skippers painted a very nice picture and it was always going to be a close contest but at the end of the day, even the judges could not split them as they each earned half a point.
Winner: Draw

Mazza defeated James_A 8 to 6.33 on Celebrities in Wrestling
Looking to go 3 for 3 in the tournament, Mazza went with a wrestling card made up totally of celebrities called CelebrityMania. Jimmy was looking to make amends for his lateness in the previous round and came out with a very funny dialogue piece showing Vince McMahon’s conversations with celebs over the years. Mazza was biting his nails very much over the results to this one but in the end he came through with what I would describe as a generously comfortable victory.
Winner: Team UK

MyLeeCyrus defeated Doc Monk 8.33 to 8 on Free Topic
The sure-fire result of round 3 saw the vastly experienced Doc taking on newcomer MyLee on a subject of their choosing. I really felt sorry for my compatriot but the moment I read Insecurity (a gripping look into the mind of Triple H), I knew that Monkey would have to dig very deep to avoid a major shock. The Doc did just that with a piece looking into the life and death of a young wrestler. This was match up of the tournament and the judges would have a tough decision to make. In the end though, it was MyLee’s time to shine and he ground out victory by the tightest of margins.
Winner: Team UK

The UK ended up taking a much closer third round 3.5-2.5 and more importantly, the tournament by a score of 8.5-5.5. A big congratulation to my team mates for the great performance. As for the prize, well there is only really bragging rights. So here is a little something extra from Mazza.

And I guess now that the battle is over, I can give a little commiseration prize to the Americans too.

THE FALLOUT

So when the dust had settled, it was a pretty comfortable victory for the underdogs from the United Kingdom. At the same time, we were all winners as there were some very, very good columns that were posted for the tournament. Cicero went as far as to describe the tournament as “exciterfication” (Google it if you don’t understand). Of course none of this would have been possible it was not for the men who had to read and rate every column. Here is what a couple of the judges had to say:

Originally Posted by pt2

It was a great tournament. I think Team UK were deserved winners, and I think I'd specifically have to give shoutouts to Mazza and MyLeeCyrus, who won each of their matches. Impressive that.

Of course, the contest would have been a lot less close, and the UK would have been far more dominant, if Sheepster wasn't from the controversy creates cash school of thought!

I'm looking forward to the next one. Where the Canadians at?

I am sure one your fellow judges can answer that for you, pt.

Originally Posted by Sean_Taylor

Great tournament with some columns that were really well-written on both sides. One thing though. There was a lot of unnecessary patriotism for each side's own country. I know that was kind of the point, but anything that drives a stake further through the divisional lines of our worldwide brethern isn't good. I think that we should all stand united in our love for professional wrestling and our insatiable desire to write about it. Inside we're all the same and I can only hope there is no hard feelings between my American friends and my British chums.

Of course, had there been a Canadian team, we would have totally whooped of your hoisers' asses, eh.

Bring it Sean, we will take on all comers.

THE ALLSTAR TEAM

Team UK emerged victorious but the question that remains is who was the tournament’s best player? Well I have gone through the un-gruelling process of working out who that title should go to by adding up the scores of the guys that posted in all three rounds and working out the average. So the CPR can now proudly announce the UK-US Dream Team.

6 – JoeyShinobi – 7.39
Coming in at the number 6 spot is Team UK’s skipper. A record of no wins, a draw and two losses does not look great but Joey did a real captain’s job. He placed himself in the hardest tie of the second round and despite a loss, it meant that all of his team mates could pull out victories. You could definitely call that taking one for the team. A solid performance from an always solid writer.

5 – XanMan – 7.55
If there is one man more solid that Joey, it is Xan. His two victories were sandwiched by a controversial second round match-up that was eventually stricken from the records. His score may have been even higher if he had the leeway he would have liked.

4 – JohnnyBoomerang – 7.61
J-Boom was the runaway winner of June’s Column of the Month award and his performance here was a key part of that. He bounced back from a narrow defeat in the collab round to take two wins in singles competition. It is not a fluke that Boomer is the hottest thing in the CF right now. Here is his view of the tournament:

Originally Posted by JohnnyBoomerang

The tournament really helped bring out some of the best writing I've had in my short time here in the CF. The competition inspired me to improve and push myself into new and different territories, and in doing so has helped me to Column of the Month! Without the contributions the tournament pushed me to making, chances are I would once again have been sitting in second place, ruing the winner and plotting my revenge. And just to add a cherry to the top of my wonderful June- Sundae, we won as well!

3 – Mazza – 7.67
Coming in third is… WTF, no way! I should be first. I won all three rounds.

*Mazza goes back to double check his calculations*

Err, yeah, moving on.

2 – MyLeeCyrus – 7.77
Second place goes to the guy that myself, and a lot of people assumed would have taken the number one spot. He did a solid job with Mazza in the collab round and stepped it up a gear once more for his round 2 win. Then Degenerate “guaranteed” a point for his team by placing Dr. Monkey against this him with the subject matter being anything they damn well pleased. MyLee had not read the script however and pulled out a great victory to be one of the two men to walk away with 3 victories in 3 rounds.

1 – Doc Monk – 7.89
He may have lost his battle with MyLee and his team may have lost the war but Monkey PhD walks away with plenty of honours. After victory in the collab round, he scored Team US’s only point of the second round before missing out in round 3 despite his column scoring 8. The good Doctor really lived up to his reputation in this tournament and can certainly hold his head high in defeat.

So statistically Doc was the tournament’s best player and big congratulations to him on that. Here are his thoughts on the tournament.

Originally Posted by Doc Monk

MyleeCyrus, that's all anybody needs to remember. He went from a guy people were saying "how'd he make the team?" To being the guy that stole the tourney as well as one of the hottest writers in the CF.

This is an opinion that is echoed by a lot of people and I hope Monkey is not too upset that, with 3 wins out of 3 including a victory over the highest scorer in the tournament, the CPR proudly announces MyLeeCyrus as tournament Most Valuable Player.

Well we are nearly at the end now and it is only fitting to have some final words from the man that made this all possible.

Mavsman: Even though there were difficulties throughout the tournament, overall I think it was a great success. If and when this contest is held again, I don’t know if I will run it. I’m not going to lie, watching the judges’ scores coming in favoring the UK round after round got tiring. Lifting the idea of the competition up off the ground so it could come to fruition was an important job, but helping my country win the competition would be an even sweeter accomplishment. In the end, I just hope that the readers and the columnists enjoyed the contest and that I didn’t screw this up to the point that there will never be a second edition.

Don’t worry Mavs, despite a couple of well publicised incidents, I think you did a great job and I really think come next year, the Americans will be looking for revenge and that the Brits will be looking to retain the CF bragging rights. As for the Aussies and Canadians, maybe their numbers can grow enough to get a team out. You can link to any of the columns by clicking on the writer name in the match up titles so if you have not checked out some of these gems, you can do so at you own leisure. This brings us to the end of this special Classic Paper Review of the UK versus US tournament. My name is Mazza and you can catch me again very soon.

[cicero]

You could have gone further into detail on this, as it was the column came of as a pretty tame look at a tournament that was anything but. Of the top of my head I can think of four different topics that would have given some true insight into the 'event'.


At the very least it would have been interesting to hear your opinions in regards to why interest in the competiton was at it's height beofore we'd even started.

[The Maz]

All very solid points Cici. I kind of wanted to steer away from the controversies of it all as a couple of peeps found some of the subjects a little touchy. From a journalistic point of view, tackling them would have no doubt made for a more interesting column that I am sure would have generated much discussion. At the same time though, a lot of the controversial points are now moot and this will be more of an index for the columns produced through the tournament. I decided to be the diplomat and let sleeping dogs lies AKA the boring route.

EDIT: For the reason why it fizzled out before it began, I am not really not sure. Maybe if it came about when everyone was high on it it may have been better.

[Super Chrisss]

I admit that I didn't pay much attention to the tournament (due to the whole Canadians being excluded crap) but I heard what was going on. I read some of you and Doc Monk's stuff and it was always excellent. MyleeCyrus was awesome as well. Thanks for the recap!

[Roger Murtaugh]

Who would think that someone who wrote a column about HHH's jockstrap and anal sex with Stephanie could score so high?

Mazza these things are fun little recaps though I think you should remember to post this again right before next year's edition starts. Be a cool way to start getting hyped for it.

[Box Car Rocco]

For the record.... The US chick is hotter then the UK chick. Not a very good choice in pictures Maz .

Fun read just like the CSI review, I also dug the top 6 at the end.

[Freeman]

I only signed up to the forums just as the closing date for entires had passed, and at the time I remember seeing threads for "UK vs US" thinking that there were a load of people writing about The Ultimate Fighter Series Nine. How wrong I was.

Not a bad little recap here Mazza, I liked all the stats and the mini league table was kind of cool. The only problem was it felt a bit flat in places, bit too much of the same you know? Still, it was pretty entertaining.

Hopefully this shizzle will return next year sometime. Maybe it can be stretched out to include the Aussies and the Canadians. Or not.

EDIT: Just had a thought. If indeed this competition is looking to make a return next year, how about we give it a World Cup theme? You know, since the 2010 tournament is coming up soon and all that. It would be a good way of getting the other countries involved anyway.

[Creeping Death]

Great recap. I agree with Freeman, it did get a little flat at some places. Good read, nonetheless. I liked the Top 6 and the average ratings at the end as well.

I, too, would like the return of the tournament.

[The Maz]

F2F - Thanks to all for reading and feeding.

Chrisss - It was definitely a fun tournament with a lot of good writing.

Doc - If anyone can pull it off, you can. I think the column will hold up better over time. The problem now is everyone who cared still remembers the tourney and people who dont, wont care about this.

BCR - I was waiting for someone to bring this up. The US chick is Brazilian!!! I think the CSI column had more of an impact as it was a more epic and spread out tourney.

Freeman - I agree that I could have added a bit more fizz, kind of like I have said to Cici already. Columns World Cup could be fun.

CD - I guess the irony of the column being a little flat in places is that it mirrored the tournament. In fact, right now I am claiming that it was a stroke of writing genius on my part!!!

[JoeyShinobi]

Mazza, we've gone through this before. If you're going to post pictures of British chicks, the first one you consider is Rhona Mitra.

I liked the Top 6 too, and it's nice to see my little gamble worked out so stunningly well. While this tournament didn't really capture the imagination, for a first time it went well, and it's catapulted my wildcard to the heights of the CF. That said, the statistics lie - cicero was as good as anyone, and was punished for a posting misdemeanour which had nothing to do with his writing ability. I certainly wasn't in the Top 5.

Good stuff. A slight waste of your skill, a bit like the Power 10, but a fun read nonetheless.

[Coolio]

good look into the tourny, and your reviews are always enjoyable. I'll read you next time.

[The Maz]

Joey - You need to talk to your bitch and get her to pose in some patriotic panties. I actually checked if she would have anything suitable but to no avail. Stats do lie, Cici was a victim of circumstance and I get the feeling Sheep would have definitely made it had he posted in the third round.

Coolio - Thanks man.

[Petre Dyche]

Yo Maz, really cool review of the hottest event of the spring/summer. Feel quite sad now that I wasn't able to pay enough attention to it or play a part in it really...thanks...ya bastard...