BCR is Wrestling #15 - Detective BCR Returns.

[Box Car Rocco]

BCR is Wrestling #15 - Detective BCR Returns.

Welcome everybody to another edition of BCR is Wrestling. I hope everyone is going well because quite frankly, I'm not. Schools back and the transition from two weeks of doing next to nothing, staying up late and being out of town to going back to school and doing work is hard to get over. I'm sure I'll get over it in the next few days but hopefully, for your enjoyment, school hasn't affected the quality of this column.

Detective BCR Returns.

Thanks a lot Coolio; it’s all because of you that I went to Orlando Florida. If you weren't so selfish I wouldn't have had to go there, I would have been in Australia where the standard of living is much higher. I guess it's my fault actually, you didn't specifically ask for me to go and find out what's happening, you just wanted a column about what's happening. You see, one of the biggest wrestling stories of the year is happening and most of you don't even know about it. Over in the land of the liner crossers, serious trouble has been brewing and I'm just the man to get to the bottom of it. I've had success in the past as well; without me, none of you would know that Suicide is actually Don West. This time, I'm taking a different approach then the whole Suicide mystery. I actually went to Orlando to find out what's happening.

First things first though, I had to establish why I was here. Now I know Coolio wanted to know what I thought about the whole Kurt Angle/Dixie Carter/Karen Angle/Jeff Jarrett situation but all I had to go by where allegations and rumours, I wanted facts! The next thing I had to do was get into the Impact Zone. You guys probably know this already but I am in fact good friends with Rocco and even though it was just a dream, he did recommend me when TNA needed someone to save Bound For Glory. Once Rocco had knocked down one of the walls in the Impact Zone my next step was getting past security. Funnily enough, Rocco and Sally Boy were TNA's actual security, talk about cheap! While Rocco was great, he wasn't perfect as he knew absolutely nothing about the Kurt/Jeff situation.

As I walked down through the backstage area of the Impact Zone nothing felt right, it was eerie. I knew I had to find a couple of superstars to interview before trying to find out what was really happening. That way, I'd be prepared if I walked in on something. The only problem was that I had no idea where anyone hung out and my only connection, Rocco, was sleeping on the job. I didn't blame the poor man though, especially after his efforts on this past Impact. You'll know what I'm talking about if you've seen my new sig.

At that time, things looked useless. I had gotten side tracked thanks to Rocco's magical abilities and I had no idea where anything inside the Impact Zone was. I made a very important decision. A decision that had gotten me through many boring moments in my life time, I was going to wander aimlessly. Now I had done this many times before, the only difference was that this was in an unfamiliar environment. I saw something off in the distance that gave me hope. It was an extremely familiar figure standing around minding their business, I finally had a bit of hope!

That was the fastest I've ever ran and the most disappointed I've ever been all at the same time. As I was running as fast as I could I tripped on a pogo stick and slid right into this figure of beauty. As I connected with her she went flying in the air only to land on me. Now this was where I was scared out of my wits, Awesome Kong isn't skinny and her landing on me would crush me to death. Luckily for me, it was only a cardboard cut-out of Kong and my life was saved although I probably wouldn't have minded being squashed by Kong. What was behind the cardboard cut-out of Kong was truly shocking though; Madison Rayne and Slick Johnson where more than just an on-screen couple!

I got out of there as quick as I could and left with one question on my mind, why where they using a cardboard cut-out of Kong to hide behind? I never found out the answer to that question incidentally. That was something no one wants to see, someone must have been trying to destroy my plan. As perfect as my plan was, it had flaws and the person who was trying to destroy it must have known about those flaws. If they did, they were obviously one step ahead of me as I was making it up as I went along.

As I was putting down my plan, I saw a flash of light swish past me and crash into a bunch of ring gear. I rushed over to crash and I managed to video record the conversation that followed.

Box Car Rocco: Holy shit, are you alright?

?: Yeah, that crash was UNBELIEVABLE!!!!

Box Car Rocco: Don West?

?: No, Suicide.

Box Car Rocco: Oh yeah, how could I forget. Anyway, do you know anything about the Kurt Angle and Jeff Jarrett situation?

Suicide: Jeff Jarrett you say, who has that man got himself into now?

Box Car Rocco: Don't you mean what has that man got himself into now?

Suicide: No, I mean who has.

Box Car Rocco: Oh, well umm.... The scuttlebug that's be...

Suicide: Scuttlebug! That's vintage Michael Cole!

Box Car Rocco: Shut up for a second. Apparently Jarrett and Karen Angle have been sleeping together and this is why Jeff has taken some time off from TNA, can you confirm this?

Suicide: This is news to me. But seriously, Michael Cole quotes? You should be quoting Don "The Great" West, he's a good friend of mine and he's simply awesome.

Box Car Rocco: Ahh... Sure, thanks for your help.

As you can see, Don West/Suicide was no help, I had to step up and stepping up is exactly what I did. Stepping up was definitely not my strong point but I was getting desperate, I was wasting a lot of time and the situation could have potentially exploded after all my time wasting. After putting myself down about time wasting, excitement flooded my mind as I heard shouting around the corner. Again, I ran as fast as I could but this time I wasn't disappointed. Booker T and Scott Steiner where in the middle of an argument!

How did this help my journey to find out the truth behind the Angle/Jarrett situation? It didn't, it was just amusing to watch Booker T and Scott Steiner argue. As a matter of fact; this was another conversation that I recorded but not because it was helpful, it was far from that. You see, dating back to the 6th edition of BCR is Wrestling I've had a grudge against Steiner. On my T.V screen, he's awesome. The only thing he did wrong was invade my column, that's when it got serious. I decided to embarrass Scott "Pogo Stick" Steiner here as this was an insider’s scoop that no one would want to miss.

Booker T: Respachhhhtttt

Scott Steiner: HEH!

Booker T: Your punk ass going to be the one taking the pin at Hard Justice, you dig?

Scott Steiner: What! Which son of a bitch booked that?

Booker T: That punk ass, Jarrett. He has no respachhhhtttt.

Scott Steiner: I know, let's play eeny meeny miny mo to decide.

Booker T: This isn’t T.V Scotty; were going to play Texas Hold 'Em, Booker T style!

Scott Steiner: What's Booker T style?

Booker T: I always win, ha ha!

Scott Steiner: Whatever, let's go.... Hey, who's that punk!

At this point in time, Scott Steiner had spotted me.

Scott Steiner: Hey, I know you. You're the kid who tried to reveal me as Suicide. Let's get him Booker.

Booker T: Teach his punk ass respachhhhtttt.

Holy mother of all backfires. As I ran away I tried hard to find a positive to come out of that but couldn't find one. Little did I know, a positive was just around the corner. When I finally got away from Scott Steiner and Booker T I managed to stumble into Jeff Jarrett's office which happened to be where Kurt Angle, Jeff Jarrett, Karen Angle and Dixie Carter where all arguing. Now this was exactly what I went to Orlando for and I found it just in time to. My voice recorder's battery was slowly but surely running out but luckily, I did manage to get every single word said between the four since I went into the room.

Jeff Jarrett: Throw me out? You're going to throw me out of my own company? And all because I'm kind enough to let Karen Angle stay with me.

Dixie Carter: You're not being thrown out Jeff; you're just going to take some time off.

Jeff Jarrett: Why?

Dixie: Well Jeff, we can't have you here as long as Karen Angle is staying at your house. It would create an uneasy work environment for every in the company and that's something we don't want.

Kurt Angle: Wait, she's actually staying with you! How could you Karen?

Karen Angle: Kurt... I've moved on, you need to accept that.

Kurt Angle: Accept this you ho!

Kurt tries to Angle Slam Jeff but he just stands his ground, Karen Angle laughs.

Kurt Angle: Shut up woman.

Karen Angle: And you wonder why I divorced you.

Kurt Angle: Don't bring our divorce into this!

Jeff Jarrett: Hold on just a minute guys. If I'm taking time off, who will be in charge?

Dixie Carter: Vince Russo.

Kurt, Karen and Jeff all burst into laughter.

Vince Russo: That's right guys. Oh and Kurt, your match at Hard Justice will now be a three-way best 7 out of 200 pinfall match with the winner getting a free plane trip to Mexico. Russomania is about to run wild!!!!!!!

Fuck.

Here I sit in Australia, looking back at my trip to Orlando Florida and all the fun I had with various TNA superstars but one question is being turned over and over in my mind, is Russo getting to much power? Now before Jarrett got given time off, every creative decision went by him before it became final. Now that Jarrett is gone, Russo is free to do whatever the hell he likes. In no way am I a Russo hater, but he needs to be on a leash so that the good ideas get through and the bad ideas stay ideas.

We've already seen an example of Russo being in full creative power. The Mick Foley vs. Kurt Angle match on Impact could have simply been a match for Foley's office key. Instead, Russo put the keys on a pole and turned it into an Office Keys on a Pole Match. There's no evidence that the pole match was Russo's idea but wherever Russo has been in the past, poles seem to follow. What other bad ideas will Russo bring? Could Russo have changed like all humans do? Since I've never witnessed any of Russo's previous ideas, all I can say is that I'm excited for Impact's near future.

That just about wraps up this edition of BCR is Wrestling. If there's anything you'd like to add about the Kurt Angle and Jeff Jarrett situation or Russo being in charge, I'd love to hear it. If there's anything else you want to say concerning this column, just drop some feedback and it will be appreciated greatly. Thank you all for reading, catch you next time.

[Petre Dyche]

lol BCR, you're certainly becoming the top purveyor of TNA columns around here. That you're the only one is beside the point...

The whole situation is messed up, fo sho. You don't mess on your own porch, and Jeff should know better anyways. Even if he is merely doing her a kindness, he would have been open about it had that been the case. Can understand why Kurt's upset, if JJ's been knocking her off all this time.

Very weird, but funny. You're going to have fun writing TNA columns in the near future if it's true Russo is taking over!

[Coolio]

funny as always, and like you said Russo with more powers is never a good thing. Hopefully Jarrett will not be gone for long. I'll read you next time, and nice spin on it.

[ca$hmoney]

BCR,

This was a very enjoyable read. Your writing has improved tremendously with every column. Keep up the good work and I can see a COTM pretty soon

[The Maz]

Very amusing stuff here BoxCar and once again your growth is there. One question, will Russo try and book Jeff versus Kurt in a Karen on a pole match?

[Kano]

BCR

You are a creative young man and with the gimmick of being the ONLY TNA columnist either on the MP or CF. I enjoyed this, I know jackall about TNA but you have the ability to make me enjoy your columns. Well done I look forward to number 16

[C-Train]

It is painfully obvious that Vince Russo loves pole! In fact, I have it on good authority that he actually has a "Vince Russo on a pole match" every night in the comfort of his own home with random struggling wrestlers looking for ways to get back on the show. Anyway, funny stuff and I'll read you next time.

[Super Chrisss]

HAHAHA - without your Don West/Suicide investigation, my last column would have felt so much emptier! Great job as usual, dude. I seriously believe you're attracting more viewers to TNA than iMPACT! is

[Creeping Death]

That was a fun journey. But if you went all the way from Australia to Orlando just to get inside the iMPACT Zone, there's something wrong with you.

Keep them coming.

[Freeman]

Right here we go...

You only get two months off school? Hahahahahahahaha!! Over here in England, where the standard is much superior, the kids get six weeks off for summer. Right, onto the column.

You used the word "happening" too many times in the second paragraph. I hate it when words get repeated too many times in one paragraph, I think you should've found a suitable replacement. Perhaps word it a bit better, you dig?

Lol @ this Don West is Suicide shizzle though. Quite the running gag you have there.

Although I didn't think I was going to enjoy this, I did. There were a couple of minor things, but no to worry about that. Instead it was well written, and pretty humourous in places. Particularly this...

Originally Posted by BCR

Vince Russo: That's right guys. Oh and Kurt, your match at Hard Justice will now be a three-way best 7 out of 200 pinfall match with the winner getting a free plane trip to Mexico. Russomania is about to run wild!!!!!!!

Fuck.

LOL!!

So yeah, good stuff dude. Catch you later.

[Vikodin]

Where to start?

I have to mention this: two months is longer than 6 weeks.

Now onto the column: this column was good. BCR, you know I have high standards when it comes to my comedy, and this is a good one. You have managed to find a great niche in the Columns Forum buddy and it looks like I'm not the only one who is liking your work at the moment. Read you next time bro.

[Kano]

Originally Posted by Creeping Death

That was a fun journey. But if you went all the way from Australia to Orlando just to get inside the iMPACT Zone, there's something wrong with you.

Keep them coming.

This is BCR we are talking about, we all know he would

[sir sam]

I just thought I should remind my English compatriot above that in fact it is winter here in Oz (despite it still being the same temperature here as England), hence school kids only get 2 weeks off. Rest assured thought they get 6 weeks when the real summer rocks around and when I say 'real summer' I am certainly insulting your pathetic excuse for one.

Anyway onto the column. Dude, love it. Over the process of many columns and some match recomendations you have converted me to TNA, sure WWE at it's peak is better but unfortunately Orton v Cena v Triple H is not even close to where they should be.

I hope you keep on writing for all you're worth cause you are amazingly talented for someone your age.

[cicero]

Well written, but a rather 'meh' story. I feel this topic could have been done in a more interesting way; say through the medium of a divorce court, or from the bushes outside Jarrets redneck palace.


Also there were a number of references in here that only a TNA fan would get (Madison Rayne/Slick Johnson for example). I imagine to those who don't watch TNA it might be somewhat annoyng to feel as if they weren't aware as to what was going on.

[Andy]

Originally Posted by Freeman

Over here in England, where the standard is much superior, the kids get six weeks off for summer.

We get 9 weeks off over here.

Okay, in my opnion, this wasn't as well-written as your previous pieces, but I found it more enjoyable than most of your other work. I would definately like to see you try and do something like this sometime in the future.

Very enjoyable and quite well-written, now make it very well-written. See you for #16.

[Box Car Rocco]

Feedbackaroonie (foley ftw) time.

Petre Dyche - As you say that... Things get more fucked up. Dutch Mantel and Savio Vega who were both agents within the company. It shows how much Jarrett was holding things together despite what a lot of people say.

Coolio - I didn't say that did I? If I did, I didn't mean it because so far, Russo has done good with the two shows since Jarrett's time off. Big improvement from before Slammi. (Haven't watched 2nd show yet, people seemed to like though)

Ca$hmoney - Thanks for that but I doubt it.

Mazza - Only after booking Karen as his on-screen wife.

Kano - If you know jackall about TNA, you should watch it like you said you were going to.

C-Train - That was harsh, really harsh.

Super Chrisssssss - If I'm attracting viewers to TNA and Impact isn't, doesn't that balance things out since Impact is TNA's only show? Surely people don't just watch the webmatches and spincycle.

Creeping Death - Kong is there.

Freeman - As Kafu said, two months is longer then 6 weeks... Owned! We also have summer at the right time of the year . Reading back, happening did get a bit redundant especially since I hate people using the same word a lot.

K-Man - Your standards for entertainment can't be that high... You watch Merlin .

Kano II - I don't understand..... I don't come off that crazy do I?

Sir Sam - One conversion is all I needed. How'd those matches I reccomended go btw?

Cicero - Damn, having Angle stalk Jarrett would have been so much better. As for TNA only references... I was more worried about past column references (DW is Suicide, Rocco and Kong).

Andy - 9 weeks would be too long... way too long.

Thanks to everyone who read and gave feedback. Catch you all next time.

[Vikodin]

I get about 12 across Christmas, more depending on when my exams are. So I own all.

And don't call me K-Man, it's Vikodin or Drug_Lord

[Box Car Rocco]

There's nothing bad about being associated with L-Man.

[Freeman]

Originally Posted by Freeman

You only get two months off school? Hahahahahahahaha!! Over here in England, where the standard is much superior, the kids get six weeks off for summer.

Ah, was wondering why everyone said I got owned. That was meant to say "You only get two weeks off school." A simple error on my part, I do accept that two months is longer than six weeks, just a typo.

So screw you all.

[Vikodin]

Who would want 6 weeks off in winter anyway? Over Summer all the school kids get 2 months off and I get 12-16 weeks depending on when my exams were. I own all of you