Lesnar 3:16

[Random]

My first memory of Brock Lesnar was his “feud” with the Hardy Boyz in 2002. I use that term loosely because in reality it was more of decimation. The WWE spoon-fed the Hardyz to Lesnar and his manager Paul Heyman quickly dubbed him “The Next Big Thing”. He debuted the night after Wrestlemania, a rub in and of itself, and quickly began running over everything in his sight.

The debut of the “F-5” finisher caused my roommates and I to jump out of our seats with a resounding, “What the hell was that!” His physique was impressive and he moved like a cruiserweight (back when there were still cruiser weights in the WWE). Watching his first official “match” at Backlash in Kansas City was borderline breathtaking. He won by Knockout, which most people didn’t even realize existed in the WWE. I was at the show live (still have it on VHS even) and can remember just how ridiculous it was watching him power bomb Jeff Hardy, hold on to it, and power bomb him again.


Click Here to Watch Lesnar vs Jeff Hardy, Backlash 2002

Lesnar wasn’t flawless. His ring work was a big rough in spots, he virtually no sold everything early on, and it certainly appeared as though he was working incredibly stiff. His constant Darth Vader-like heavy breathing, bouncing and shrugging was a bit too cartoony and over the top, though I suppose it added to the aura. For a long time we wondered if he could even talk at all.

I bet Dana White is wishing we were still wondering.

Although he was rough around the edges he was most certainly awe-inspiring to the average fan. Lesnar had a quality about him as a professional wrestler that made you want to watch more. Whether it was for his quality wrestling performances (his Iron Man match with Kurt Angle is still one of my all time favorites) or perhaps just waiting to see what he’d screw up next (remember the Shooting Star Press at ‘Mania that almost killed him?) regardless I know I don’t speak for myself when I say that I wanted to watch Brock Lesnar every chance I got, for better or for worse.

This magnetic quality, along with a real lack of main event talent at the time, led the WWE to push Lesnar into the main event faster than perhaps anybody in the last decade. He benefited from some tremendous rubs, for sure. RVD at King of the Ring and The Rock at SummerSlam both come to mind. And lest we forget, Stone Cold Steve Austin walked out of the company rather than put him over on free TV. After a successful run atop the WWE, Lesnar left the company in 2004. He cited a strenuous travel schedule and desire to play professional football as his main reasons and in his final match at Wrestlemania XX, flipped off the taunting fans who weren’t happy with his decision to leave the company that had been so good to him.

Fast forward five years later.

A week ago tonight I was with the same roommate I often watched the WWE with years ago. He hasn’t watched the WWE in years and I’ve watched incredibly sparingly over the last year-plus. But we were both in his living room that night, beer and pizza in hand, anxiously awaiting the start of UFC 100 with Brock Lesnar set to defend his UFC Heavyweight Championship.

After winning his first Mixed Martial Arts match outside the UFC in dominating fashion, Lesnar was brought into the Ultimate Fighting Championship with one of the richest contracts in company history. This rubbed a number of prominent fighters the wrong way (reportedly including then champion Randy Couture) and Lesnar was forced to justify the expense. Obviously UFC president Dana White was paying for name value but the fact that Lesnar possessed extraordinary physical tools and had an impressive resume as an amateur wrestler didn’t hurt.

In his first match my friends and I had ordered the PPV entirely to watch Brock’s debut. We weren’t the only ones, over a million other people ordered the same show, numbers Vince McMahon can only approach once a year at best. For the first minute of the fight against former Champion Frank Mir Lesnar looked as if he was back in the WWE pummeling Jeff Hardy. Inexperience took over however, and Lesnar was forced to tap out due to a leg lock by a world-class Ju Jitsu expert

After handing veteran and Top Ten Heavyweight Heath Herring a beating in his third professional fight Lesnar earned the ire of some fans by taunting Herring near the end of the final round. He had always been booed in the UFC, but now he was being booed not just because he was a former pro-wrestler, but also because he had shown disrespect to an opponent. In the eyes of many, he was in a position he hadn’t earned, had abused that position, and in the eyes of many had made himself a villain in much the same way he had in the WWE.

His fourth professional fight saw him get a title shot at Heavyweight Champion Randy Couture, an MMA legend and UFC Hall of Famer. Lesnar leveled Couture with a right hand in the second round and pounced on top of him, dribbling his head off the floor of the Octagon like a basketball. Lesnar did nothing to disrespect Couture after the bout, and as
Dave Meltzer points out in latest article for Yahoo Sports, this may have something to do with the fact that Couture is the only fighter thus far to not call out Lesnar for his former career as a professional wrestler.

Last weekend, at the iconic UFC 100 in Las Vegas, Lesnar absolutely destroyed Mir in a rematch of his first fight in the company and only professional loss. It was as dominant a performance as I’ve seen in my four years as a devout fan of Mixed Martial Arts (Though Anderson Silva vs Rich Franklin II comes to mind…). Lesnar wrestled down Mir and lay on top of him as he had in the first fight. Unlike their earlier encounter however, Lesnar didn’t just rush in recklessly. He enacted what was seemingly a thought out, crafted and very intelligent game plan. Using his immense size and strength advantage Lesnar stayed chest-to-chest on the Ju Jit Su ace not allowing him the necessary space to apply any dangerous submissions. He kept Mir on his side as much as possible, not flat on his back, and effectively put Mir in a side-headlock vice grip with his left arm while using his right arm to rain down perhaps the most devastating ground and pound punches ever performed. Out of hatred for Brock, the crowd changed “Stand them up” but it was obvious to referee Herb Dean and the audience at home that Lesnar was doing serious damage. Mir was KO’d in the 2nd round.

It’s what happened after the fight that makes Brock so damn interesting however.

As he celebrated avenging his only professional loss, the crowd booed mercilessly. Brock could have shrugged it off like any other well-paid, professional athlete. But he didn’t. He flipped them off, with two hands no less. Then, he walked over Frank Mir as he was tended too by trainers in his corner and began taunting his opponent whose face looked like hamburger. When asked by commentator Joe Rogan “What’s next for Brock Lesnar?” Brock answered that he would go home and have a “Coors Light-That’s Coors Light because Bud Light doesn’t want to pay me anything.” Not the brightest move there, offending the lead sponsor of an up and coming sports organization that pays your rent. He then sealed the deal by saying “Hell, I might even go home and get on top of my wife tonight”. His wife by the way is Rena Mero, the former Sable.

Now, I realize that up until now this has been a pretty standard, and perhaps even substandard, history column reviewing the career of a former wrestler. But in a why, that’s really the point. You just can’t make this shit up and aside from a possible lapse in memory or research gaffe, the story detailed above is real. And it’s bizarre.

The former South Dakota farm boy becomes an NCAA champion wrestler. Given the lack of career options for amateur wrestler, he turns to “professional wrestling” more aptly known as Sports-Entertainment. There, he crafts a caricature of himself that is loathed around the world but is extremely popular with fans of the industry and becomes a brilliant performer. After growing tired of the gruesome travel schedule and bored with lack of a real challenge, it’s lonely at the top after all; he scraps the entire career and takes his money and runs. Figures, “Meh, what the hell, I’m still a freak of nature and extraordinary athlete” and joins the NFL where despite thick competition and a complete lack of experience he nearly makes the Minnesota Vikings as a Defensive End.

Around this time the UFC and Mixed Martial Arts is exploding onto the American culture thanks in large part due to the success of the reality television series “The Ultimate Fighter” which, if you remember, was grossly successful in its first season thanks in large part to the rub given to it by airing on Spike TV immediately following WWE’s Monday Night Raw. One could argue that without the WWE, the UFC and MMA in general would not be even close to where they are today and could very well not exist.

Lesnar recently headlined the biggest show in the history of the MMA industry and the company he works for in only his fifth professional fight. An estimated 1.5 million people bought the show which aired as the lead story on ESPN’s popular TV shows “Around the Horn” and “Pardon the Interruption.” The resounding success of this show can certainly be tied at least in part to Lesnar’s being hated by the fans, partially a result of his past as a WWE performer and partially the result of his antics, which he certainly learned whilst performing for the WWE.

If history tells us anything, it tells us that Brock Lesnar will certainly be a success in this field, in fact, he most certainly already is. He has been in virtually every profession tied to athletics. Of course, history also shows us that Lesnar will get bored and leave the UFC sooner or later.

He’s certainly not going to be kicked out. Talking heads on ESPN can condemn his actions all they like and fans can boo till their blue in the face but Brock isn’t going anywhere until he decides its time to pack up and go try something else. Rumors abound that after his disrespectful actions UFC President Dana White pulled Brock into a private room and lashed into him and may have kicked in a door. While White was certainly not happy about his comments regarding Bud Light, and may or may not be happy with the rest, he finds himself face to face with big name, elite athlete who people are willing to pay A LOT to watch.

What exactly are they watching? A modern day Mike Tyson? A dominant, super athletic champion? The face of the company? A mockery of the sport and disgrace to martial arts principals it’s built on? A ticking time bomb?

Or the next “Anti-Hero” ala Stone Cold Steve Austin? The real “Next Big Thing”?

Brock Lesnar is a complete and total wild card. He could lead MMA to heights never imagined or he could walk away from it all tomorrow. Literally anything is possible with this guy and while there will be countless surprises along the way the outcome-no matter what-should surprise no one. The only thing certain at this point is that people will be watching him. I know I certainly will.

[Uncle Joe]

Welcome back and all that nonsense


Myself, I've always admired Brocks talent but I've never really cared much for the guy. There's certain guys who I cheer for because they're so arrogant and full of shit, but Brocks not one of them. Obviously he has the talent and resume to back up his bravado, but still, fuck em. I do find it intriguing when Lesnar and Lashley collide, and you know its going down sooner than later, how the UFC will be playing this up. But if Dana is smart, and all signs show he is, I hope for his sake he doesn't lean on Brock too much.

[Thurl]

I hope this is the real Random returning and not the guy that was fake BC.

Anyways, This was a good read. The only thing I can think of that would have made this better is if it was a return of the Bleeder...

Welcome back Random, if it's really you..

[DA I VAN]

Oh shit Random. I still miss Monday Night Countdown that was the best funny shit me and my brother listened to every show since like number 15. Glad your back and yea the column was really good im a big Lesnar fan right now cause everyone hates on him for WWE but who wouldnt want to work in front of millions of people and make straight cash while doing it.

[Super Chrisss]

I didn't dig the super-short paragraphs, but never mind me. I like how you mixed Lesnar's history with your own views and thoughts in a very cool way. Well worth the read. F5 or Hi-5 to you man!

[Martin Riggs]

Interesting recap/opnions of Lesnars tenures at various companies. I never really saw him when he was around, but i remember seeing clips and his dominance scared the hell out of me!

Good stuff!

[XanMan]

I'm not a UFC fan, Random, but you made me care anyway, so nice job.

[Random]

Uncle Joe- Thanks for the welcome and all that nonsense.

Brock's an interesting person to me not just because of his immense physical talents but because of his unique personality. It'll be interesting to see what happens the next few years, if he walks away from the UFC and screws Dana over or if he finally found his calling. Either way, it entertains me.

C-Man - Yup, it's really me. That's probably bad news to some. The Bleeder was a lot of fun, but it's dead and gone, resting peacefully in Columns Forum heaven. Thanks for reading.

Next2Be- I get the impression that Brock is just the opposite. I don't think he wants to work in front of millions of people, but I think he really enjoys his secluded life of luxary and the athletic competition and being in the UFC affords him the chance to do all those things. Like the Bleeder, MNC was a lot of fun while it lasted but it's dead and gone as well, though a farewell episode never did happen so I wouldn't rule out one last hurrah that way. But we'll see. Thanks for reading.

Super Chrissssss - The paragraphs are definetly shorter than what would be typical writing, but that's something I picked up writing on Lop a long time ago. I always prefer it because white text on a black background can really be hard on the eyes if the paragraphs run on too long and turn into giant blocks of text. Maybe I took it to far, though so thanks for the concern I'll keep it in mind if/when I write again. Thanks for the props and the read. Glad you enjoyed it.

Johnny - Brock was at times comically bad, but he was always simply awesome to watch more often than not, in my opinion. I highly recommend you check out some of his stuff from yesteryear. Thanks for the read.

Xandertaker - You're not a UFC fan!!!111!!??? OMG ur fukn gey!!!!!

Thanks for the love man, glad to see you writing again and on the main page where you belong. Hope things are going well for you and the family.

[Andy_Savana]

If you are the real Random you always had those short and sweet columns. I remember one from long ago about the errors of like molerats or some shit. Then at the end you said you still like molerats anyway. Classic.

Has nothing to do with this column but whatever.

I think UFC is mass fake and we are just fooled. Even if it isn't I still dig it because it gives me a reason to yell at the TV. I can use excuse it is real. Cannot say the same for wrestling.....even though I still yell.