Savana's Chamber of Pain#46: Multi-Man Matches!

[Andy_Savana]

Savana’s Chamber of Pain

Monologue Raw Defense

“Is it so wrong that RAW gets kind of erratic for a year or two? You can’t have that same ole pace that it’s had since 2005 where you have a one on one match and occasionally you have a multi-man match.. WWE usually has a problem convincing the IWC that one of the competitors in a one on one match even has a chance in winning and that’s why a lot of us got real bored during 2007 when just about every PPV match was a one on one match between Cena and a random superstar to squash or Batista and a random champion to lose to.

The IWC is fluctuating all the time so some of our demands change and some people like to bitch. So in 2008 when we start having some crazy multi-man matches around the second half people complain they are clusterfucks. I can’t do much to change all of their minds except scare them away from the forums but I am not a good flamer and I’m far too nice to make up fake shit to accuse people of so that would be an epic fail.

All I can really do that would actually have some effect is just let you guys know why multi-man matches and feuds are epic wins in terms of booking and in terms of us watching them. There are plenty of reasons to look at but only three of them really matter before we get to my favorite section of this column.

Enough of that time for your Main Torture”

Main Torture

I love when there is more than two men involved…in wrestling matches. This past Sunday we were treated to a lovely little four-way match for the US title and it was as entertaining as six minutes will let it get. There really isn’t to much to say about multi-man matches beside they add a new level of entertainment, speed, and unpredictability to any scene and they often are allowed to have more than their fair share of botches for the sake of entertainment.

Some of the wonderful things to look at are:

Speed

Who the hell can sit and deny the fact that matches with any more than two people in the ring at the same time don’t have that fly-by feeling to them? Not only is the action speedy but the way we view the match feels as if someone is fucking with our biological clock or whatever the hell it is that makes us think the day is going by fast or slow on any given day. A number of reasons things seem to move so quick is because there is always one person throwing a punch in comparison to a one on one match where the both of the competitors can be resting at times. Triple Threat matches always have that odd man out who is kicking the down people or performing a spot only to be hit by the other star who is done resting. We don’t get to take a piss break during one of these matches because you have no idea when the hell they are going to end and chances are that they are already over as you consider pissing.

Multi-man matches have the ability to look so speedy that even Kane vs. Henry vs. Big Show from last year was a lovely match to watch and not feel as if I was going to die watching Henry on TV for longer than five minutes. I can barely get through an Evan Bourne match that involves Henry so this was a stretch I wasn’t willing to take. Watch the match thought because it’s brilliant as are a lot of multi-man matches. Carlito vs. Nitro vs. Benjamin still blows it out of the water though.

Entertainment

Speed could be described as a subplot of entertainment but it doesn’t really matter when I have two totally different things to say in each section. When I say entertainment I don’t mean how quick the match is feeling or how much I want to take a piss but can’t take my eyes off of the television. Technically this is what you would call entertainment but I have another definition for it. It isn’t a legit definition and if you check the dictionary I doubt it will say anything remarkably close to my idea of what I like to call entertainment so there goes your disclaimer.

A dog is just a dog and the dog can be okay to hang with on a very bored and lonely day…I suppose…but what if the dog had booster packs and could fly places while blowing shit up and saving the day? What if the dog was such a badass dog that he got you plenty of ladies while you took him for a walk in your local park? I’d call that dog one goddamn entertaining piece of canine that I would suggest to everyone else if it wasn’t the only badass dog on the earth and mine already. A long description to simply say that multi-man matches make wrestling simply more phenomenal. So phenomenal that AJ Styles should back off the claim and just call himself The “Multi-man” AJ Styles. It’s new but let the idea grow on you a bit and then get back to me with your decision.

Further elaboration also explains that you can say that a triple threat match is going on without something shiny on the line and people still respond that they want to watch that match. Sadly, there is hardly ever a match with more than two people that doesn’t involve something shiny except for a couple weeks ago when Kofi Kingston won a triple threat match to earn a chance at the US title which he won as stated in my opening paragraph to this section.

If it can make a regular match seem far better than it automatically makes a title match go through the roof with entertainment. After Wrestlemania 25 was over people hated the idea of Orton and HHH going at it again for the title. People also for whatever reason can sometimes hate on John Cena but I see that on Youtube more than on this site so that’s a good thing. All three of these men were for the most part disliked last year at around the same time frame. They were all in the same triple threat match for the WWE title and I didn’t hear a single complaint. That’s right when I say you just can't complain about good entertainment and multi-man matches simply deliver in this area.

Unpredictability

This is technically a subplot of entertainment as well but I wrote it after entertainment anyway and it’s listed below it so epic win for me. Remember that piss break I mentioned earlier? Well you still can't take it because I'm talking about unpredictability and that was a hidden reason you couldn’t leave earlier when I was talking about the speed of multi-man matches. There are three men but they’re bodies are still as fragile as if it were a one on one match but there is an additional person who can pin them which explains that area of speed I wanted to get back into but decided to cushion this section a small bit.

The IWC section of this section is this paragraph where I talk about two people getting a push for the title at the same time. Imagine if both of the wrestlers getting the push were Cena and HHH against some champion…Orton…we would all be stuck in a frenzy trying to figure out who the hell was going to win the match. Cena always wins and HHH always wins too…well not all the time but people like to give him the honor of person who loses the most out of anyone who wins the most amounts of times. Long story short it sends us into a frenzy of crazy logic of booking and attempting to outthink the bookers which hardly ever happens…

Enough about what makes a multi-man match so great. Let’s talk about my favorite section of this column.

My Favorite Multi-man match

I was going to write about the six man hell in a cell match from 2000 but Aisce already wrote a column about it and would blow away my simple section dedicated to the match and I'm not up for bashing in comparison to his column so I'll switch my favorite to Carlito vs. Benjamin vs. Nitro from Vengeance 2006.



Speed Wise: This match was jam-packed with all kinds of multi-man insaneness and that is always good. You would see two of them fighting and one would get the advantage only to get hit with a springboard dropkick from Carlito or a superkick from Nitro or even a another superkick from Shelton. The match is eleven minutes long or so but it feels like it passes by in at least ten minutes or less and we all know that the ten minute mark is the mark of importance. If a match feels longer than that then it’s consider slow and drab. Undertaker vs. Michaels from earlier this year is an exception because I demanded that match not end but it did. Luckily, Undertaker won and all was well at the moment.

Entertainment: I always mark for a Nitro or Carlito match but I marked even harder for a triple threat match with the two of them involved. I have the Intercontinental DVD and this match is the single most watched match on there for a number of entertaining reasons. Carlito being superplexed and the fact that Jim Ross would pronounce his name as such…Car-Leet-OH. He says it like twenty-two times throughout the match and you learn to love it.

Unpredictability: 2006 before Jeff Hardy got back into the Intercontinental title hunt was unpredictable. Benjamin had been failing for one reason or another and Carlito was frowned upon for similar reasons to Benjmain. Add Nitro who had been squashed six times in a row by two people half his size and you have a match that a lot of us probably didn’t understand. It’s similar to betting on a game that you have no idea how it works. You don’t know if something is good or bad so you play any-miny-moe (SP?) and hope everything goes well. Turns out I wanted Carlito to win but Nitro won and I swore to god that he would be the worst champion ever. Interestingly, he was a fantastic champion and the only reason he isn’t seen as a great champion is because a better Jeff Hardy was the one who defeated him.

Now for my least favorite part of this column.

My Least Favorite Multi-Man Match

Boogeyman vs. The Miz vs. CM Punk vs. Tommy Dreamer…from ECW sometime in 2007.

Speed: This goddamn thing felt like it went on forever and the entertainment value was pure shit. It would be CM Punk vs. Miz and then Boogeyman would come in to get knocked out for ten minutes before Dreamer showed up to get beat up and Miz gets pinned. I can't really bring myself to do the other sections because I know all of you know what I’m talking about. It was right when Punk kept losing to Morrison for the ECW title. It was like a one on one match with managers who would never be disqualified but they didn’t really land a hit in anyway so that stipulation was pointless.

End Section.

Dying Words

A return to form I guess with the separating of the three sections and all that other jazz of it being slightly longer than a lot of my more recent columns. My next column will be a special addition tribute to Vickie Guerrero but don’t take me up on that because I'm only joking. Live long and prosper. Not from Star Trek but actually from V for Vendetta. I don’t think they actually say that but what they do say reminds me of it so whatever. Some closing thoughts will be to give RAW a chance with all this chaos because I dig chaos and I’m usually right about things.

Until Next Time,

Andy Savana

[Andre_Almighty]

I feel your point homie. good shit as always, I'll read you next time.

[Box Car Rocco]

Another good effort as always.

I agree with what you said about multi-man matches. They are always good for getting the live crowd going as it allows everyone to hit their moves without making it seem illogical. There's one 3 way match that had every right to be perfect but for some reason wasn't and that was Punk vs Benjamin vs Burke, don't know why that didn't work out but it was a rare moment where a 3-way didn't work out.

Would have liked your thoughts on the scramble matches but that's the only minor negative. Good stuff.

[Mister E]

Good idea here wit Multi man matches, it allowed you to cover a lot of ground. You broke it out well too, the speed and unpredictability of those matches are a good added feature.

Nice pick with Carlito-Benjamin-Nitro match. Good read overall.

[Little Sneak]

Your column was ok but i did think some things could have been developed furthur and possibly a bigger effort could have been made in making it a more entertaining read. Having said this i did like it and i hope to read your next coloumn. Keep up the good work man.

[Andy_Savana]

* Edited due to flaming *

As for the rest of you.

Andrea: Word.

Box: Ah, damn, all that talk about 2008 and I didn't speak of the scrambles. I think they deserve a column in their own.

Eohogan: I love covering ground.

[Super Chrisss]

Thinking back, I don't recall that four-man ECW match to be that BAD, considering I liked most of those superstars.

...Um LOOKING back, you kinda got a point there. Nicely done!

[Little Sneak]

Man, i apologise if i caused you any offence like i didnt mean to hurt your feelings. But i didnt actually say you should make more effort with your column, i offered constructive critiscism on making a bigger effort to add humour which is always good to hear. Anyway, sorry if i caused you to be angry and i did actually like your column remember.

[Scotty_Boy]

I enjoyed this column, and the pick of favourite multi-man matches was a good one.

However, you got one thing wrong. Dreamer wasn't in that Fatal Four-Way. It was actually Big Daddy V.

[Andy_Savana]

Chris: Told you.

* Edited due to flaming *

Scotty: Does it matter? The only other person who got a punch in might have been the referee other than Punk and Miz.