The Clubhouse #1 - Spring Training edition.

[Rogue]

Hello everyone, and welcome to a brand new joint production, entitled, “The Clubhouse.” My name is Rogue, and joining me in this new endeavor is ThePJPresti. I’m sure most of you know who I am, as I’ve written several columns before, plus I’m somewhat of a post-whore here at LOP. Presti’s fairly new to LOP, but he’s a pretty good guy, outside of being a massive Red Sox homer and a closet homosexual who stalks Dustin Pedroia in the off-season. Presti, I heard that while filming the commercial for MLB 09, you were jerking off in Pedroia’s bushes outside his house while he was holding up his MVP trophy. Is it true?

I think it’s uncool how you just give away a deep secret about myself that I confide in you, to these good people before they even get to know me. I’m ThePjPresti, and this is unfair.

Even though Presti is a Red-Sox homer, and I’m a lifelong Yankees fan, we tend to get along pretty well. We both love baseball, and all sports really, plus we are both fans of wrestling. After several conversations, I came up with the idea of us doing a column together, because quite frankly, we are both far too lazy to pump out decent columns by ourselves. So without any further ado, let’s just jump right in!

THE STARTING NINE

1. Chris Masters resigns with the WWE.

A poster in the WWE forum (Yes, I actually do go there) posted this.

“Masters has been cancelling his indy bookings and telling those promoters that he is going back to WWE and going right back on television as opposed to developmental. He was backstage at the RAW and SmackDown events at the Staples Center last week and looked to be in good shape. There’s no word on which brand he will be returning on.”

Your thoughts on seeing Chris “I promise I wasn’t on Steroids” Masters back in the WWE?

Meh, this guy never impressed me too much. His physique was very good, albeit he had to use more steroids than the entire NY Yankees squad combined to get that way, but he was as green as a golf course in the ring. On the mic he was boring, and his master lock challenges were a guaranteed piss break. If he’s off the juice he pretty much won’t have anything going for him.

I find myself inclined to agree with you. When Chris Masters stopped using steroids, his body deflated as fast as David Ortiz’s body, bat speed and chance to get into the hall of fame combined. His look and physique were really the only things Masterlock had going for him during his first WWE run. Unless he’s figured out how to beat steroid tests, (in which case he should politely call Ortiz and give him a heads up) or he’s found a way to regain some of his previous size, which I doubt, I don’t see this run being any better than the first.

Ortiz? Steroids?....Pfft…No...Never…

2. Randy Orton’s latest incident

Next up, Randal Kenneth Orton, throws a fit on a Mexican television host, (Not Geraldo), for calling him fragile, (irony anyone), and throws the man ‘s glasses and threatens to head-butt his teeth down his throat. Now I’ve heard rumors that this was staged, but who knows. Orton strikes me as a hot head, and he fits the profile of someone who would do this. Either way, I had to buy a pair of glasses last week and they set me back nearly 200 dollars. Me and Hector the talk show host need to invest in contacts. Thoughts on RKO’s outburst?

Jealousy. I can’t tell you how many times I wish I could break a Mexican’s glasses and headbutt his teeth in. Randy was lucky enough to accomplish at least one of my two goals, and I envy him for that. Obviously this whole thing was a work, and I’m sure the company compensated “Not Geraldo” quite handsomely for those glasses. The purpose of it I’m sure is to make Orton seem like an even bigger badass. Mexicans everywhere will be climbing fences next time they see Orton, knowing he won’t follow them. Orton knows that one possible splinter from an un-sanded piece of fence could destroy his fragile body. Oh, plus if that happened, the WWE would be forced to fire everyone’s favorite Fence….Fence.

3. Samoa Joe hurts his arm.

I always thought fat Samoans were invincible myself, but apparently that isn’t the case. Samoa Joe has apparently injured his tricep recently, and had to pay a visit to Dr. James Andrews to have it checked out. We all know that it’s never good when any athlete has to head down to Birmingham, as that generally indicates a serious injury. Do you even watch TNA, and if so, how do you think this will Impact Sammy Joe?

I watch TNA ocassionally, and I think this move hurts them considerably. I mean TNA’s only main eventer that isn’t a proud member of the AARP is Samoa Joe, and despite having that goofy character change, can still get it done better than almost anyone in the company. At least he was kind of enough to throw the pics of his broken fingers up on his Twitter page. Im friend requesting him ASAP.

Damn right. You can never have too many fat Samoan twitter friends.

That was my thinking when I added Hustle.

You hear that Presti? That is the sound of our chance at ever getting plugged in HIPRN slowly fading away.

4. AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels Impact Main Event loses huge numbers

While….

5. Angelina Love scores huge knockout ratings

I figured we’d discuss both of these stories at once, as they directly relate with each other. So one of the best TV matches I’ve seen on Impact in a long time, actually lost 250,000 viewers, TNA’s biggest decline in months, while Angelina Love, TNA’s top-tart, gained 81,000 viewers, giving Impact it’s highest rated segment of the night. My question to you Presti, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!

This baffles me. I don’t get how a wrestling fan, 250,000 of them no less, can turn off a match of this caliber, but turn back when they notice Angelina Love is on their T.V. It is one of Daniels first appearances on T.V. in a while, and a great T.V. main event. Only explanation I have, is that real TNA fans have given up on Impact!, expecting the same garbage week after week , leaving only redneck Spike fans to think they were watching softcore porn when Angelina love stepped into the ring. Or the guy that compiles the Nielsen ratings is totally out to lunch, and is just bullshitting the ratings to cover his ass.

God-forbid any of these rednecks get Cinemax ,as the Impact rating will drop quicker then Big Papi’s batting average., although I think they are already pretty close as it is. I will say this though, the TNA Women’s division is one of the few things they do right. The girls consistently put on above average matches, the storylines are interesting, plus a few of them can cut some decent promos. With that said, it still shouldn’t be your highest rated portion of the show, not when you’ve got legit HOF’ers like Angle, Sting and Foley.

My feelings exactly. Though I do agree that the TNA girlies do put on decent matches, Angelina Love’s wrestling skills are almost as limited as Chien Ming Wangs pitching skills. Almost.

6. Ken Kennedy released

So, In other news, Mr Kennedy……Kennedy, has been released from his WWE contract……contract. I think he had potential. Good mic skills, decent in the ring, and showed he could play both the heel and the face role well. His only downfall is he is the most injury prone man on the planet, and seemed to be on a short leash with management. What’s your take on it Rogue, and do you think we will be seeing Kennedy further down the road…..road.

I can almost assure you we will see Kennedy again down the road. Of course he might be laying on the pavement with tire tracks over his ass because he slipped on a banana peel and got ran-over by an 18-wheeler, because that’s just the kind of thing that happens to him. Look, this guy may have been on a short leash with WWE management, but he’s obviously a guy they thought would be a major star. They gave him a starring role in a movie, plus they gave him tons of chances to get over. I think stepping away from the WWE will be a good thing for him, as it allows him to get truly healthy, work overseas, become a draw, make some money and return to the WWE in a few years healthy, happy and ready to finally make good on one of his pushes. If a guy like Jeff Hardy can fail multiple drug-tests, get kicked out of the WWE, go to TNA and still come back to the WWE and become a world champion, then Kennedy has nothing to worry about. We’ll be seeing him in a WWE ring again, I guarantee it.


Im in total agreement with you regarding that last line.

7. Raven and Shane Douglas join TNA


TNA recently welcomed back two former World Champions, Raven, and Yokozuna. Oh, that’s not Yoko? Well who the fu…Shane Douglas? That’s Shane Douglas? He must have broke the little motorized cart during one of his shifts at Wal-Mart and gotten himself canned. Anyways, he and Raven are back in TNA. Are you excited to see either one?

I was always a big fan of Raven back in the day, and I think if used minimally in the ring, he could add something to the product. I mean he could make Abyss into his protégé, or something to that effect. As for Shane Douglas, the last time he was relevant was 10 years ago, or in his case, 150 pounds ago, or 4,000 12-packs ago. Either way, I don’t like how either was billed as a former world champion, prompting some to think TNA was bringing in some studs, because lets face it, if it wasn’t for ECW, neither of these two would be even close to a world champion. (see Dean Douglas, or Johnny Polo). IrishSara, don’t come to my house and stab me with a rusty spoon.

I heard she hires New Jack for those type jobs, and pays him in cocaine.

Well in that case, hows North Carolina this time of year. Go Tar Heels ~!

8. Sting retiring from TNA.

Rumor has it, that Steve Borden, better known as Sting to you people, has decided to call it quits at the age of 86. I think he was a pleasant surprise throughout his time in TNA to be honest, he put on decent matches, though I don’t think he shouldve have been the center of attention on the program as much as he was. With all TNA’s stars aging, Christian leaving, and their lack of pushing new stars, I think this hurts more than it should. How much do you think Sting’s departure hurts, and what legacy does he leave behind.

I honestly don’t think it will hurt TNA very much. They have plenty of other old guys to take up too much screen-time, put on shitty matches and engage in yearly contract disputes. Sting never really proved to be a big draw for them, unlike guys like Angle and Foley, who caused rises in ratings when they came to TNA. As for Sting’s legacy, to me, that’s already been established by what he accomplished in WCW. That is what cemented him as a legend in this business. His TNA stuff to me is nothing but a mere afterthought, much like Bret Hart’s run in WCW after he left the WWE. The best thing that will come out of Sting retiring is that he’ll probably quickly get inducted into the WWE HOF. I will actually be pretty excited to see that, as it opens up a glimmer of hope that Sting might have one-last dream match against a guy like Shawn Michaels.

9. The possibility of Ric Flair wrestling Hulk Hogan in Japan.
Rumors are flying that Flair is planning on cashing in on some very lucrative pay-days across the Pacific Ocean, in the “Land of the Rising Sun,” a tag btw, which will soon be replaced by “land of the Hello Kitty.” Some of these rumors have gone as far as suggesting some of those dates may be against one other famous aging wrestler who is also well past his prime and is desperately looking or a payday. Personally if I want to see two Orange men duke it out, I’ll watch a Syracuse football game. Does this matchup have any appeal to you?

Of course. Rogue, this match will break so many records, including: Combined age of opponents, most bleach blonde hair dye used among two competitors, most divorces among two competitors, and the least mobility in a match-up not involving the Great Khali. In reality, this match will be a treat for the live crowd, but it’s nothing more than to prep Naitch and The Hulkster for their next alimony payment. Horror to the eyes could be the best words to describe this battle when it is all said and done.

You forgot about the record for least number of moves preformed in a single match. Here’s a list of moves that will set the record. Punch, Chop, Low-Blow, Back Body Drop, Leg Drop, Figure Four. 6 moves, that’s it. You can bump the total up to 8 if you add “Flop” and “Irish whip.”

Don’t jew Ric Flair out of his amazingly executed chop-block dude.

Ok, 9 total moves.

Around the Horn

Well Presti rumors have been circulating for weeks now about the possibility of one of the WWE’s top superstars leaving the company sometime over the next few months. I’m referring to one Jeff Hardy, the high flying, glow paint wearing, heartthrob of teen girls everywhere, not to mention a guy who’s turned into quite a money maker for the WWE. Word is he’s one of the highest merchandise sellers in the company, only behind guys like Cena and HHH. In Hardy you have a guy whose already left the WWE before, partly of his own accord, and partly because the WWE was going to kick him out anyways for basically being a moron. A few months ago I wrote a column about Jeff Hardy, chronicling his journey from his early days in the WWE, to his stint in TNA, his return and finally, his rise into the WWE’s Main Event scene, which culminated at Armageddon when he won his first, and only World Championship. Since losing the Championship, Jeff has gone on to have a pretty decent feud with his brother Matt. Now I’m sure we all expected Jeff to go over strongly in this feud, seeing as how he is the only Hardy brother in the WWE’s Main Event scene, but it didn’t happen. Instead it was Matt that came out looking strong, giving me the feeling that there is some merit to these rumors. You agree?

I agree wholeheartedly. In my eyes, all signs point to Jeff Hardy’s departure from the company for a number of reason. The first being as you mentioned, the way he put over Matt in their feud, and I’m also willing to bet that he will put over Edge this Sunday. It will give Edge another PPV victory, against a more than credible opponent when taking the match stipulation into account. Another reason, is Mr. Hardy’s track record. He never has seemed completely in love with the business, and has many other endevours in his life including art and music.

In my opinion, this guy leaving hurts the WWE in a substantial way. He is the most over person with the fans bar none, and is arguably the only “new” star the WWE have made in the last 3 years. WWE spent the better part of 2007 bulilding Hardy into a superstar, and after another drug suspension, the better part of 2008 into RE-building him. Smackdown is already lacking main event firepower; with Hardy gone, the only two people Smackdown has that have regularly main evented Pay-Per-Views before are Edge, and the aging Undertaker, who spent nearly all of 2008 in a feud. This unquestionably would hurt that brand, and the WWE as a whole. So two questions for you, if he does leave, how much is this going to hurt Vinny Macs traveling circus, and two, who are the guys you see trying to fill his shoes. Guys like Punk and Morrison would presumably have to step up to the plate no?

It will affect Vinnie’s traveling circus, because If Hardy leaves, Vince loses his top acrobat. He loses his number one high flyer, his top risk taker, his best spot monkey. I don’t use any of these towards Hardy negatively, as I think he’s learned how to incorporate actual wrestling and psychology into his matches, along with his crazy spots and high flying antics. Vince does have a couple of young high flyers over in ECW, in Tyson Kidd and Evan Bourne, however those two guys are years away from being considered a viable replacement to Jeff Hardy, if they can ever reach that level.The two guys you mentioned, CM Punk and John Morrison are the guys who are most likely to step up and replace what Hardy brings to the WWE. Both guys are relatively good looking, both guys have flashy styles in the ring, both guys aren’t afraid to take risks in the ring, and both guys appeal to various sects of fans. Punk is a guy whose not only an IWC favorite, but a kids favorite, as well as a favorite of the ladies. I’d actually consider Punk a better mic worker, then Hardy is. What Hardy does have that JoMo and Punk don’t, is a great and storied history in the WWE. Hardy has been apart of many great matches, both singles and multi-man matches. Those experiences make him more credible in the eyes of the fans. So what does that mean? That means the WWE has to find a way to make Punk and Morrison and other young stars credible in the eyes of fans. That usually takes years, but I don’t think the WWE has years to allocate for that. Hardy is arguably Smackdown’s top face with the Undertaker gone, which means that one of those guys we mentioned is going to have to step up ASAP, and Hardy can help them do that.

Let’s say Hardy decides to stick around through Summerslam. How would you use him over the next two months leading up to Summerslam to elevate Punk and Morrison?

I think his last feud in the WWE, should be with CM Punk. I choose him over Morrison because he is the one that is closer to stardom, and in my eyes, the feud will almost write itself. C.M. Punk can grab the mic, and call Hardy out, calling him a poser, mentioning his drug history, things of that nature. It will make Punk look strong on the mic as well as in the ring. After a few months of back and forth action, this can culminate to a MITB case vs. Career match at say, Summerslam, which Punk wins. This makes Punk look incredibly strong, as well as giving him a lot of momentum going into the fall and winter months of 2009.

Obviously you wrote that above paragraph before last night’s extreme rules PPV, because as everyone and their mother in the IWC knows, CM Punk cashed in his MITB Briefcase and became the new World Heavyweight Champion, defeating Jeff Hardy, who had just won the belt from Edge. I personally think they pulled that out a little too quickly, as I really dig your idea of a summer-feud between the two, culminating at Summerslam. I would have enjoyed watching Punk chase the title for awhile, or even just chase Jeff Hardy, a guy he’s never feuded with for awhile. Hardy could have kept the title and instead of a MiTB vs. Career match at Summerslam, it could be a World Title vs. Career match as Summerslam. Having CM Punk send Jeff Hardy out of the WWE would be a huge rub for him, though I think they might have problems keeping CM a face against Hardy. Personally, I’m all for Punk turning heel, which is almost what seems to be happening, however I just can’t see the WWE pulling the trigger on a full turn, simply because they are too short on Smackdown faces. I don’t see Hardy turning heel either, as the WWE probably wants to drain the last drop of money out of him before he rides off into the sunset. Since any program between them will be a face vs. face feud, I can’t see it lasting very long, which indicates to me that Hardy might not be sticking around until Summerslam, and instead may be leaving much sooner, perhaps after The Bash. Either way, Smackdown just became a whole lot more interesting and I can honestly say that this week’s episode will be a must-watch for me.

The Bottom of the Ninth.

While PJ and I love wrestling, we also love baseball. He still plays it, and I spend way too much of my time and money watching it. We decided that we would wrap up each column with a little baseball discussion. Our first topic in “The Bottom of the Ninth” is one Randy Johnson. The newest member of the exclusive 300 club. Your thoughts PJ?

I’m going to make a bold statement and say that there will never be another 300 game winner in the MLB again. The next closest is Jamie Moyer, and lets face it. The Korean has a better chance of reaching 300 wins than he does. With innings pitched decreasing each year, starts also on the decline, it is becoming harder and harder to achieve a high win total. In Boston there are even talked of a 6 man starting rotation. I don’t think you will ever see the person get the chance to put consistent enough numbers over their career to achieve such a milestone. Of course, in some rotations, such as a certain team from the Bronx, steroids are a factor. So never say never folks, never say never.

I’m going to disagree with you Presti, I think we will see another one, but it will take a change in the way managers, scouts and the way the players themselves play the game. Pitchers today just don’t pitch as much as they did back in Johnson’s prime. Most starters now only throw 5-6 innings, the good ones typically go 7 innings, and that’s it. Also, every team in the league now uses a 5-man rotation, for practically the entire season. For a starting pitcher, it’s much harder now to get wins in a season. A decade ago, a pitcher was considered great if he got to 20 wins, now pitchers are considered great if they can reach 17-18 games. It’s going to take a major shift in baseball for another pitcher to get to 300 wins, and it’s not going to come for a long time. I’d say you won’t see another for another 25 years. Guys of our generation have been lucky, as we’ve been able to watch greats like Johnson, Glavine, Maddux, Clemons etc reach 300 wins. As great as pitchers of today like Santana and Halladay are, the younger generation won’t be able to see them get to 300 wins.


Well folks, that’s going to wrap up today’s edition of “The Clubhouse.” PJ and I enjoyed writing this column, and it is our hope that you enjoyed reading it. We ‘d love to hear your feedback, what you liked, what you didn’t, etc. Thanks for reading everyone. “The Clubhouse” will be back open next week, and we hope to see all of you there!

[Presti]

I just noticed that your font was in blue, and mine is in red, yanks colors are blue, sox are red.


was that a total accident or did u pre-plan that, cause it worked out nicely.

[Box Car Rocco]

I haven't had the pleasure (please is the right word?) of reading a column of yours before but I liked this. Discussed a lot of recent news and kept up to date with a few things. I also loved the jokes made towards fellow LOP members, maybe that's just me though.

Love = Ratings because Love rules.

Hopefully this will be either a bi-weekly or monthly thing because I'd love to see this again but if you do it weekly there might not be enough news stories or recent events for both of you to discuss as that seems to be what your doing.

[Hustle]

I'm shocked and appalled that such a cheap shot would be taken at me in one of your columns. I would NEVER take a shot at you in one of my columns.

Never.

Nope.

To clarify, I don't have a Twitter account.

Anyway, great work here. You guys obviously have chemistry (semi homo?). Glad to read that this will become a regular thing.

By the way, you can't be surprised at some of the things TNA fans enjoy. They cheer for some truly awful wrestlers, matches, and storylines.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to take this receipt you just gave me, and file it away for documentation purposes.

Read you next week.

[MissouriDragon]

^Ding! Pay the kid.

Nice job gentlemen-good choice of discussion topics.

[Presti]

BCR- Thanks dude. I think we're going to be able to come up with 9 topics for the week, we certainly will this week with all the happenings in the IWC at the moment. Come back next time.

Hustle- Thanks, but technically it was me who took the unprovoked shot at you. Good point about the TNA fans, its very true. I hope you read us next time


MD- Thanks dude.

[The Serial Chiller]

I happened to enjoy Rouges consistent shots to ortiz's batting average and his roid intake.

i myself am a long time yanks fan and me and PJ go back and forth about either how bad ortiz and lugo suck and his arguement is arods on roids and refers to burnett as DL Burnett due to his lack of full seasons without injury.

sad i know ="(

anyways great job guys this was a great colomn

hope to read more

[Rogue]

Originally Posted by ThePJPresti

BCR- Thanks dude. I think we're going to be able to come up with 9 topics for the week, we certainly will this week with all the happenings in the IWC at the moment. Come back next time.

Hustle- Thanks, but technically it was me who took the unprovoked shot at you. Good point about the TNA fans, its very true. I hope you read us next time


MD- Thanks dude.

Your like the Mike Dunleavy of feedback response.

[Presti]

Eric- thanks broski. read it next time or ill kill your children.



Rogue- This is why its spring training.



Eric and Rogue- Yankees played well last night. D.L. Burnett lasted almost 3 innings!