Back in Time w/ BC: When Fandom Goes Too Far

WARNING: THIS COLUMN FEATURES OVERT SEXUAL OVERTONES AND GRAPHIC DEVIANCY. READER DISCRETION ADVISED

"Love risks degenerating into obsession..."
--Elie Wiesel

"Passion is a positive obsession. Obsession is a negative passion."
--Paul Carvel

A grubby man (or man-child, as it were) sits upon his beaten down sofa in a tiny, unremarkable New York apartment. Morbidly obese and clad in the latest in ironic geek chic (What the Frakk?! indeed), he buries his soulcrushing angst and loneliness, all the while punishing yet another Hot Pocket. Psychological transference at its finest.

While weeping and eating are usually enough to sate this tortured fellow on most evenings, tonight this pendejo has even greater needs. But what to do? It's Saturday, a day of friends and romance and fun for most people his age, but there's no wrestling on television. Not anymore. Oh, how this depressing excuse for a human being misses Saturday Night Main Event. He may never get a date, but he could at least look to the company of his spandex-clad heroes instead. As soon as that ring bell sounds, all his troubles melt away. Alas, times change. And never how you want them to.

Hell, he even turns wistful for WCW Saturday Night...

So, what to do, what to do? He looks over at the copy of Advanced Perl Programming sitting on the overturned wooden grocery crate that serves as his DIY endtable. But complex data structures are no way to fill a hole in one's heart, no, and he turns to wrestling as his refuge once more.

Neatly stacked next to his television lies his extensive wrestling DVD collection. Curiously, each disc packaging bears the name and/or face of the same man. This begs the natural question of where this fan's fixation truly lies, however, though positing this question aloud is likely to disrupt whatever otherwise polite company one might find oneself in. Freudian analysis is unlikely to be met with the desired response outside proper psychological circles.

Rather than place the DVD inside his (likely stolen) high-end media player, the portly man-child plops back down upon his sofa, gripping his prize tightly with both hands. Reclining back with a look of heretofore unrecognized satisfaction, the fan closes his eyes and utters a deep and contented sigh...

If I ever meet Shawn Michaels, I’m gonna walk up to him and greet him with open arms. I’m gonna tell him, "Great sir, you are my everything. I have watched your matches all of my life. You are truly without peer. And you should listen to me, because I am a former online wrestling columnist."

Than I’m gonna give the guy a nice, big hug. I think everyone needs a hug every now and then. I know I do. I’m going to hug him long and hard. I’m gonna wrap my arms around his sinewy frame, caress his masculine chest hair, and embrace him tightly. I’m going to feel his rippling muscles on the tips of my fingers. Then I’m going to bury my nose into the nape of his neck and take in his scent. I imagine him smelling faintly of cedar, with just a hint of Kiehl’s cucumber lotion. I’m gonna take a long, deep draw of HBK's heavy musk, then close my eyes and imagine us swaying on a hammock together on the serene shores of my homeland. Oh Puerto Rico, how I miss you...

Then I’ll nibble his ear just a little. He’ll pull back just a bit, and I’ll say, "Did I hurt you baby? I’m so sorry." He'll laugh. Then I’ll nibble again, softly and gently. Then I’ll whisper to him:

Fuck me like you own me.

Then I’m going to take off my pants and turn around. Then I’m going to let him dock his Showstopper in my port. At first, he’ll seem too big, like a summer sausage. But as I relax my bowels, I’ll let him go deeper. People will see us, but I won’t care. I’ll lose myself in the rapture of his mighty cock bobbing in and out of me. I’ll reach down between my legs and grab his balls and give them a little squeeze and tell him:

Show me some of that Texan fire, sexy boy.

Then he'll just lose it and start plunging me like a clogged toilet. The smell of sweat and sex will become hopelessly intermingled as he fucks me deeper, harder. God, it’s just gonna be so fucking intense.

You almost there, Shawn?

He'll barely nod, at which point I’ll turn around and gobble his cock like a starving orphan. Then he’ll let out a savage groan and spray a gallon of his glorious music all over my sweet chin. And I'll tell him he’s more like my uncle Rodrigo than he’ll ever know.

You know, if I ever meet him.

Oh god, oh god...what were we talking about again? Ugh, I have to go take a shower.

Unclean, unclean, unclean, unclean, unclean, unclean, unclean...

[Roger Murtaugh]

Originally Posted by BC

You almost there, Shawn?

He'll barely nod, at which point I’ll turn around and gobble his cock like a starving orphan. Then he’ll let out a savage groan and spray a gallon of his glorious music all over my sweet chin. And I'll tell him he’s more like my uncle Rodrigo than he’ll ever know.

Oh how I've missed thee. I feel like if we replaced the portly fan with me and Shawn with you it'd be almost like a first hand encounter of the first time we meet face to face.

You complete me soulmate.

[MissouriDragon]

Even I don't have the sack to devote a whole column to dissing one Rican.

Nor the creativity. Well done.

Monkeyman, your homosexual lustings are too kind. I am but a mere mortal after all. We should hang out more, you crazy bottom, you.

L8er sk8er, lulz.

MissouriDragon

The question is, will this column make Degen cry? Or ban me. Maybe both...

[Durandal]

But... Shawn Michaels doesn't swing that way, does he? Oh, the confusion!!!

That was a gut-busting column, BC. It isn't just funny to the people who know all about Degenerate's HBK love (most everybody, it seems); I LOL'd hard without knowing much about Degen's obsession. Altogether it's the funniest column I've seen so far on here. You're a great, great columnist BC. You're my hero baby... oh yeah... mmm...

[TheLipBomb]

Ummmm. Kind of over the top don't you think?


Look. Mr. BC. You're new work has been, quite frankly, dissapointing. I remember Monkey and Anonymous and many others saying how they wished that you would write again because of how "awesome" you're work was. This was hardly awesome. In fact it was quite disgusting and disrespectful. To both HBK and Degennerate.

Now, I owe a great deal to you. You are the proverbial Moses to this forums Israelites.
I just want to get a chance to get to see the BC of old.

Respectfully,
-TheLipBomb

[Kano]

I'm in agreence with Lipbomb.


LOP HOF'er maybe, but this was shit. No disrespect, I have heard that you are a very good columnist, but this was pathetic in every way possible. I don't want the new BC I want the old one in which the older LOP posters talk so highly about.

We want the original BC back, not this carbon copy.

[SkittleZ]

Not only is the material painfully hilarious but you have excellent vocabulary as well.

I can't wait until Degen returns from vacation and reads this. Good times for everyone involved... well except for maybe Degen.

Hopefully, you crank out more of these bad boys during May instead of one per month.

That filthy mouth of yours is sexually enticing.

Durandal
Yes, I was relatively assured I brought the funny this time around, even if it wouldn't be universally accepted. Prudes and whatnot, y'know?

Thanks for the kind words.

TheLipBomb and Kano

Originally Posted by TheLipBomb

Ummmm. Kind of over the top don't you think?

Not enough really, in retrospect. Knowing Degen as I do, this is probably an understatement.

You're new work has been, quite frankly, dissapointing.

Go on...

I remember Monkey and Anonymous and many others saying how they wished that you would write again because of how "awesome" you're work was.

And they got their wish. This is exactly how we roll in the CF (or at least used to). You see, once upon a time, the CF was a community. Regularly populated by actual, genuine friends. We liked each other, and yes, we busted each others' balls. Constantly. This column is completely in line with what me, Monkey, Zuma, Xan and Helix, etc. used to do on occasion. Because there's more to who we are, and what we're all doing here with this writing kick, than just wrestling all day every day.

In fact it was quite disgusting and disrespectful.

Disgusting? Not really. Not unless you're a wingnut theoconservative. The ending was played up in obviously over-the-top satirical jest. There's nothing "disgusting" about homosexuality, or any of the behaviors and practices it entails. That's why it's fair game. Just like heterosexuality. Unless you have a problem with the (equally funny) instances in the past where Uncle Joe would joke about his urges for Candice Michelle?

To both HBK and Degennerate.

HBK isn't a real person. Just like Lion-O, Principal Belding and Colombo.

And Degen would laugh harder at this than anybody.

I just want to get a chance to get to see the BC of old.

You did, and you didn't. I'm not going to write just like I did in the past. No more "Write My Column" or "Tuesday Night Tension" or any of my old repertoire. That stuff is long gone, and I'm not the same guy as I was back then. I'm not a wrestling fan anymore, but I still have a fondness for this site.

So every once and so often, I'll show up and write whatever I want, about what I want, whether it has anything more than a tenuous relationship to actual wrestling or not. Because I've earned that right, I have that credibility. This isn't a "BC Reunion Tour," I'm not reliving the past and you shouldn't be expecting the "old me." I've been there and done that, and right now, I'm just here to jam with my old pals.

LOP HOF'er maybe, but this was shit. No disrespect, I have heard that you are a very good columnist, but this was pathetic in every way possible.

I'm shitty and pathetic. I'm pathetic shit. Got it.

No disrespect, but who in the blue hell are you, and why are you under the false assumption I owe you anything?

Skittlez
Degen's on vacation?! Damn it, I have the worst timing...

Originally Posted by SkittleZ

Not only is the material painfully hilarious but you have excellent vocabulary as well.

I know, aisce would be proud.[/misses aisce]

Hopefully, you crank out more of these bad boys during May instead of one per month.

You got it. How about a little "Ultimate Warrior and the Tax Audit of Doom," would that be something you'd be interested in?

[The Age of Orton]

That was odd but fucking hilarious. Tell me why you're not a wrestling fan anymore?

[doublehelix]

I'm not sure what's funny about this. The gut-wrenching honesty of this clearly autobiographical work is not to be derided with the petty tittering of the masses. We are the therapist and the author is our patient, and we should treat him with the respect and sympathy that relationship entails. I guess it's clear who the true man-children in this thread are. Some just can't appreciate art.

(I am one of them you suck BC suck my d*ck b!tch)

Originally Posted by BC

Tell me why you're not a wrestling fan anymore?

BC's too busy sucking my c0ck to answer this question but it's because they canceled Wrestling Society X.

Age of Orton
It's not a particularly good story. I think I might have even written something about this years ago. It comes down to two things: I've aged (and moved away from the industry's target audience), and there just isn't enough competition between products. Back in the 80s, you had regional promotions along with the more dominant WWF, and there was just more stuff to enjoy. There was always a little bit of everything out there for fans of all persuasions. Then in the 90s, you had three companies operating at their individual peaks, all at each others' throats in a game of constant one-upsmanship. Now, you've got one company who doesn't have to try hard, and one US competitor that will never succeed because of inherent flaws within the organizational structure itself. Sure, there's indies and international stuff, but I just don't have the time to get into stuff wholeheartedly, even with the internet.

Helix
Great merciless pepper of quetzlzacatenango! A doublehelix revival?!

Damn it, you got me. This really was a desperate plea for help, despite its subterfuge. You were always ahead of the curve, you stupid cumstachioed jewbitch cockmongerer.

Originally Posted by doublehelix

BC's too busy sucking my c0ck to answer this question but it's because they canceled Wrestling Society X.

It had asplosions! And people jumping off of stuff onto other stuff! And more asplosions!!!

[The Age of Orton]

Originally Posted by doublehelix

I'm not sure what's funny about this. The gut-wrenching honesty of this clearly autobiographical work is not to be derided with the petty tittering of the masses. We are the therapist and the author is our patient, and we should treat him with the respect and sympathy that relationship entails. I guess it's clear who the true man-children in this thread are. Some just can't appreciate art.

(I am one of them you suck BC suck my d*ck b!tch)



BC's too busy sucking my c0ck to answer this question but it's because they canceled Wrestling Society X.

Jesus bro, you either need to get laid or smoke some green.

[JoeyShinobi]

This seriously blew...my mind. I'm annoyed about this, to be honest, because even if I'd thought of doing something like this, I couldn't have pulled it off (no homo) with any greater panache. I do wish there were more columns like this - unfortunately, it seems people come and go here very quickly, and I've only been here a year. Welcome back...oh, and hi, I'm Joey.

[doublehelix]

Originally Posted by The Age of Orton

Jesus bro, you either need to get laid or smoke some green.

I don't think you quite understand the relationship between my coc* and BC.

Wow, just like that Age of Orton revealed himself to be an unfunny tool. You always hate to see that happen.

JoeyShinobi
Well, things change. Messageboards themselves are less en vogue than ever, thanks to sites like Facebook. Plus, wrestling just isn't particularly popular anymore. The influx of people to these forums only happened because of the post-Monday night wars experience, and most of us stuck around for as long as possible until "real life" (read: boredom) got in the way.

I guess it's why some around here are kinda sorta trying to keep the old times alive with the HoF and shit. I think it's a losing effort, because you can't fight the future. Websites like this one are pretty much dead. It's all just for fun anyway, not posterity. Regardless of how individuals think, writing niche columns for a few hundred people is never serious business anyway.

And for the record, I investigated your work. You're pretty good. Keep hope alive or something in that pathetically generic inspirational vein...

Helix
What can I say, you've got a nice dick.

[The Age of Orton]

Originally Posted by doublehelix

I don't think you quite understand the relationship between my coc* and BC.

I guess not.

[The Maz]

Disturbingly brilliant.

I actually love things like this. It is why I intend to get a CF-related column out every once in a while because I much prefer the idea of this place as a community. We are all bought together by wrestling but why can't the columns be about us every once in a while. I hope you decide to go down a similar path in the near future.

Oh and I almost forgot my manners. My name is Mazza (not that I think you are an idiot who wouldn't have worked that out by the name on the post), pleased to meet you.

[TheLipBomb]

Well that is certainly not fair. Just because you were here first doesn't mean that you have the right to post whatever the hell you want.

You are not a mod and you are not Terry. So stop pulling an L-MAN(sorry liam, couldn't pass up) and thinking that you are the shit and have a few laughs with your good buddies.


For example, Say you go to lazer tag everyday for 10 years. You're the best and you get bored. You just can't say the place is dead to the new kids just because you've had you're fun. That's not fair.

And writing columns for a few hundred people is fine with me. And I don't mind you hanging with your buddies. I do it everytime I log on. This is an organized forum and we have rules.


Again, I owe a great deal to you. Your ten commandments kept me from going astray and made me the enjoyed writer I am today. If you want to joke I suggest you take that elsewhere.


Respectfully,
-TheLipBomb

[Brilliant]

Originally Posted by 1,000,000BC

It's all just for fun anyway, not posterity. Regardless of how individuals think, writing niche columns for a few hundred people is never serious business anyway.

That quote needs to stickied and forced upon everyone who comes into this forum.

So, I dont know who you or who the butt of this hilarious diatribe was about, but it was wonderful nonetheless. Which I suppose is a testament to your, um skill? Thank god someone else uses a thesaurus, unless you just have a huge vocab, which is even more impressive.

lol @ the outrage and you "thinking you can post whatever you want".

So in summery, good show.

[sheepster]

For those who are getting bent out of shape about how this isn't a proper column and how they wanted to see the BC of old...

This is the BC of old. This is how he rolls. And this was awesome.

[CoLD]

^ Truth. We need more people who write as open and freely as BC does.

[Lazyking]

and I've been around here for years not posting just browseing and You don't see shit like this around anymore. I come to these forums coz I love wrestling but over time It's just fun to talk to other people.

BTW, great colmn BC.

[doublehelix]

Originally Posted by TheLipBomb

Well that is certainly not fair. Just because you were here first doesn't mean that you have the right to post whatever the hell you want.

You are not a mod and you are not Terry. So stop pulling an L-MAN(sorry liam, couldn't pass up) and thinking that you are the shit and have a few laughs with your good buddies.


For example, Say you go to lazer tag everyday for 10 years. You're the best and you get bored. You just can't say the place is dead to the new kids just because you've had you're fun. That's not fair.

And writing columns for a few hundred people is fine with me. And I don't mind you hanging with your buddies. I do it everytime I log on. This is an organized forum and we have rules.


Again, I owe a great deal to you. Your ten commandments kept me from going astray and made me the enjoyed writer I am today. If you want to joke I suggest you take that elsewhere.


Respectfully,
-TheLipBomb

The thing is this is neither breaking any rules nor ruining the forum for anyone else (the point of rules). If you found it too circle-jerky and ridiculous to enjoy, that's fine, but BC's legacy is (aside from his incredible arsenal of d!ck jokes) his willingness to experiment in a forum filled with, "Hey guys, this is Rowdy Roddy Reynolds' and I'm back with another Radical Rockin' Raw Review" (note: I wrote nothing but Raw Reviews for three years, so I'm not dissing anybody but myself). You may think it sucks (really, this forum could always use more people telling established writers they wrote something shitty), but like Cold said, this forum could use the injection of creativity that BC provides (and always could, even during the golden days the new guys are probably sick and tired of hearing about). Sometimes it manifests itself as erotic HBK/Degenerate fan-fiction. If that isn't up your alley (unlike how Shawn Michaels was up Degenerate's), that's cool, but it belongs here like everything else that is in essay form and is about wrestling and/or wrestling figures.

[Roger Murtaugh]

So soulmate, I got this banner that has just been sitting around and collecting dust.

Go on, you know you want to

[Mike from Jersey]

Hi BC!

I didn't read the column yet. Sorry. I will.

Just wanted to say Hi! I missed you! Maybe you'll see another one from me someday! I still want that Rise and Fall of WCW!! arg just kidding.

Peace.

PS I've been away from here awhile. I'm getting the feeling that Dr. Cockmilktittiesshit was once under a different name??????? At least it seems that way based on above comments....

Anyone else with a changed name since the golden 2005-2006 period?

[Vikodin]

Yeah that's the poster formerly known as Docter Monkey...

EDIT: As for this column, I didn't enjoy it at all. That's not to say that it doesn't have a place here, which I think it does as it's looking at the psyche of a wrestling fan, but this wasn't my "cup of tea" as the saying goes. That said, I don't get what everyone is so upset about, I mean after all Uncle Joe got away with worse than this.

[Leonard]

Hi there, Mr. BC:

I'm Leonard, I'm new around these parts. I've heard a ton about your work and abide by your Ten Commandments. I've also read your last column, as well as this one just now. While this really wasn't my cup of tea (I liked the last one more), I'll defend to the death that you're right to write it. I just wanted you to know that I respect your work, and hope that you're back on board for a while. I know it probably doesn't mean much coming from a rookie column writer like me, but I felt like I should say something, with the mixed reviews written here and all.

Keep on keepin' on, friend. I'll read 'em.

--Leonard

[TheLipBomb]

No doubt gentlemen. And forgive me if I sound a bit bitchy. (a good friend of mine has dissowned me)

This is clearly a jest between you and Degen. I have no problem with that. I suppose it is one of those things where I am "too young to understand" or "you had to be there"" kind of thing. And if you're peers say that the following was "awesome", then I have to disagree.

But, this is the opinion of a young writer that hasn't even posted 10 columns yet. So take it for what it is worth.

I will continue to read you regardless and hope that you continue to speak freely and stay creative. And also that you do not just come here and fuck around to relive the glory days.

With all the respect in the world,
-TheLipBomb

[Tony Starx]

Having met Degen in person (thanks to Cold and Uncle Joe, not homosexual underlings) I think he'd get a huge kick out of this, then sit back down and watch Taker vs HBK from Mania again, turning it off before the ref hits the mat with his hand for the 3rd time, as he's always prone to do.

[Wevv Mang]

This was about Degen?

Oh.

I thought it was about 80% of ALL HBK fans.

"Sexy Boy" indeed, right?

So, um, yeah. Well done BC, and welcome back.

Mazza
Better make sure the targets can take it. Otherwise, an outbreak of butthurt will plague this forum. And we don't want that...

LipBomb (again, really?)
All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.

When you have a track record of being able to handle any topic under the sun and make something entertaining out of it the majority of the time, you earn latitude. And people will celebrate you for it.

And I didn't say this forum was dead, I said the concept of fansite messageboards is pretty much dead. Don't bother with server costs, just make a Facebook group instead. Or a blog or whatever. Much easier ways of socializing these days.

Brilliant
Finally, somebody who doesn't give a shit about my username. That's refreshing. And all the snazzy big words were used to class up the joint...pssht, who am I kidding? Like obscene eroticism isn't classy enough already. I'm just a pretentious asshole.

Originally Posted by Brilliant

That quote needs to stickied and forced upon everyone who comes into this forum.

Perhaps it's time for the Commandments to be amended?

Gaborone > Stat Sheep
A blessing from the esteemed leader. Will that satisfy everybody now?

CoLD
There is no spoon.

Lazyking
Yes.

helix
What he said.

Justin
MP or CF, honeybunch? Hooray bestiality!

Supes
Your start here was one of the most obnoxious I'd ever seen. I'd have never expected that you'd still be here. Your adulation is accepted.

Mike from Jersey
Listen up motherfuckers, I just brought doublehelix and Mike from Jersey back to life. We haven't seen Mike around here since 1957. I am truly god. Worship me.

Kafu
Your sig is obtrusive.

Squiggy-less Lenny
Why does everybody keep introducing themselves? YOUR NAME IS ALREADY ON THE SCREEN.

TonyStarx
Knowing Degen personally, what a lucky guy you are. I bet he's shy as fuck in real life, yes?

Say hello to your brother for me. I always liked him, even though I was only watching from afar. He was my spiritual successor, and in some ways, went even further into the netherworld of complete batshit insanity than I ever thought possible. Which was really cool.

Wevv
Shh, they might hear you. I'm not sure I could handle all that sexual confusion pouring out at one time.

[James_A]

Originally Posted by 1,000,000BC

All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.

Obscure Animal Farm reference FTW!

I'm still not really sure what just happened. That line about "glorious music all over his sweet chin" was just pure gold. It made me think about pianos though. Is that strange? Oh it is? Well, this column was strange! Ur mom d00d lol.

[Hustle]

Unc being brought up brings up a good point..

With the BC/Unc style, why is there such differing opinions? When Unc's mind would take that magical trip to Stankonia, his work would be praised to no end, so why should it be any different here? The lack of pregnant whores, perhaps? You either enjoy this type of humor or you don't, but people pick and choose.

Unc was great at what he did, and Milli BC is great at what he does.

[Tony Starx]

I dunno Supes. Maybe he doesn't give a shit about "legacy" or whatnot. I could be wrong, and I don't know the guy, but I think he throws up whatever he thinks will be funny to him and to those he knows/likes.

[CoLD]

This thread is proof that the mods need to lift the ban on Unc Joe. He is needed in the CF...seriously.

Jimbo
It's not obscure. It's the defining line of the whole novel...

And for those that still aren't clear about what I'm talking, and what the "rules" really mean, let me try to explain it this way:

The rules are like a pool of water. We forum dwellers are high divers. When one dives into the water, it takes a great amount of skill, coordination, technique and endless practice to be able to land in the water with nary a splash. Less talented or practiced divers tend to make a bigger mess of things and might even get spectators around them a little wet in the process. And if a diver is so unfortunate as to flop, well, that will get you fucked up in a hurry.

For most writers, it's safest to just steer clear of the pool altogether. But if you're up for risk taking, just know your limitations.

Hustle
I alluded to a similar thought earlier, but that isn't where the conversation ended up going. Still good to keep in mind.

Angry Supes
You might have more credibility if you hadn't posted a worshiping, prostrate emoticon earlier...

Geez Supes, you just don't get it. Not even after all this time. I don't know what it will take for you to accept the wisdom that, as I said before, writing niche columns for an ever dwindling audience isn't serious business. I just don't.

My legacy?! You're certifiable. My "name" is 1,000,000BC. What the hell does that even mean? I don't even know anymore.

And there's nothing brave about ignorance. Why are so many always so quick to point out what something isn't allowed to be, instead of what it really is?

The hubris of the IWC...the danger of developing personal associations with strangers you see on tv...the latent homoeroticism of professional wrestling...WCW Saturday Night sucked out loud...the bizarre kinship between grown men and a ladies man character who calls himself a "sexy boy" and posed in Playgirl magazine. These are wrestling concepts, I just have the odd knack of approaching them completely differently than the average bear. I prefer farce and immersive imagery to stolid prose. It's more challenging for me to write, and for you to read, but it doesn't hurt that it's damn funny regardless.

CotM? You think that's what this is about? I need to rack up a few late inning runs to prove myself? Yes, it's satisfying to be appreciated for my (not inconsiderable) talent, but this place could use a little more fun around here. And I'm not known for being a downer.

Will my running amok disturb the little fish in the pond? Yep, probably. But they also just found a measuring stick. This is what being worth remembering looks like. This is why you should strive to be as unique as all get out, to develop your own voice that stands apart. Even if it is on a silly messageboard devoted to discussing a lowbrow artform involving greased up 'roiders in their underoos.

Besides, this is all just prologue before I have e-sex with Monkey anyway...

Hustle again
I couldn't agree more. If the guy still wants to play, by all means, don't kick him out of the sandbox just because. I've never understood the irrational decision making behind banning quality board members. They improve the social welfare of the site, why cut off one's nose just to spite one's face?

[Swanton Bomb]

Hi. I'm relatively new around here, so I thought that I would drop by.

I've been debating what to say, and my first thought was 'why the fuck is he here posting a column about, basically, his buddy Degen and his man-fetish for HBK?'.

But now I realise why I hate this column so much - because I'm jealous.

You coming back here and managing to get such a big reaction and a chance of getting COTM? Well, now I know what I have to do - I have to raise my game. And I will.

Thank You.

[Minotauro]

Nibble on his ear just a bit? hilarious shit man

It doesn't really rhyme y'know
Ding ding ding, we have a winner! A perfectly reasonable response.

minotauro
I would assume that sort of physical conduct translates across all sexual spectra, but we should really check with Boo Boo to be sure.