The Classic Paper Review – Vol XV – The Column Series Invitational

[The Maz]

Vol XV – The Column Series Invitational

Just when you thought that it was over and you would not see the letters C, S and I outside of the entertainment forums, I am taking the CF back on a journey through the most gruelling tournament wrestling has seen since the Brawl for All. My name is Mazza and this is a special CSI edition of The Classic Paper Review. Can you remember when CSI was just a gleam in Sheepster’s eye? Well neither could I but a search of cached pages on Google showed me that the sign up thread went live in Columns Central on the 9th December 2008. By the end of April 2009 the winner of the whole shindig was none other than ***Spoiler Alert*** yours truly ***Highlight to see winner***. Now I will take you back to early January. It was a simpler time in wrestling where nobody knew Hunter and Steph were married and Edge was only a 6-time world champion. It was also where the CSI tournament started.

THE FACTS

Tournament: The Column Series Invitational
Location: The Column Forum
Judges: Sheepster, XanMan and T.O.
Number of Participants: 32
Length: 3 ½ months

So before we get started, let’s take a look at the original schedule for the tournament.

Originally Posted by Sheepster

Royal Rumble Write-Off :: 6th January – 13th January
First Round :: 17th January – 22nd January
Super 16 :: 24th January – 29th January
The Quarter Finals :: 31st January – 5th February
The Semi Finals :: 7th February – 12th February
The Final :: 14th February – 19th February

As we are all well aware, it did not quite end up that way due to a number of factors. There was a high turnout for the competition which made it that much more interesting and resulted in some shocks, there was the infamous St Valentines Day Reset and who could forget the comebacks and swerves that the judges threw our way.

The tournament rules were quite simple to start out with. Eight seeds were picked and advanced to the second round proper of the tournament. The rest of us mugs would have to fight our way into Round 1 in a cluster fuck known as…

THE WRITE-OFF

I apologise but I could not find the results for the write-off but it was certainly a challenge. 1,000 words on a subject of your choosing and twenty-seven brave soldiers from all over the LOP Forums set out to take one of 16 available spots. As it turned out, both Dope Boy$ jumped in their Cadillac and pulled out before Round 1 could get underway which meant that 20 men would go through. As I said, I couldn’t find the results but I do know that a n00b CFer by the name of Mazza snuck through in 16th place with a column comparing fellow CFers to WWE Superstars. It was a fun column that created quite a buzz but was obviously not what the judges were looking for.

ROUND 1

The subject for the round was the Royal Rumble but reviews and predictions were out of the question. In what was probably the shock of the round, the ticking clock, a Brit rarely seen in the CF convincingly disposed of everyone’s favourite comedian, BeyondKnight when everybody had there eyes on BK’s battle with fellow HOC member and one of the pre-tournament favourites, Søren. Round 1 also saw two HOCer’s go one-on-one as Mazza caught Skaos on a rare off-day to make it through. SwantonBomb unfortunately missed the deadline but would later post an excellent rumble column which may well have seen him advance. TheLipBomb spent a lot of time trying to rearrange the brackets to finally get his hands JoeyShinobi before no-showing. Degenerate broke his tournament jinx by making it through the first round proper for the very first time and rarely seen in the CF LOPers like TheAmazingOne and Ca$hmoney, impressed for a second successive column. When all was said and done though, the seeds were about join the fun and games as the tournament, and the judges would get hardcore. Here are the Round 1 results.

anonymous 13-0 SUPERFAN!
Mavsman 23.5-0 TheLipBomb
the ticking clock 24.5-19.5 BeyondKnight
Søren 28-16.5 ca$hmoney22
TheAmazingOne 14.5-0 Cenation
mazza 23-12 Skaos
Degenerate 26-19.5 James_A
ManWithThePlan 20-0 Swanton Bomb
Dr. Monkey 19.5-9 Kafu
Ry P 20.75-15.5Godfather

THE SUPER 16

With the seeds entering the fray, Round 2 saw some fairytales coming crashing down to earth with a bang. With the deadline gone, the participants were anxiously waiting for the voting thread to open. When that didn’t happen, we started to smell a rat and we were right. With 3 no-shows in the round, everybody was expecting Mavs, Mazza and SkitZ to receive byes but the evil genius Sheepster had other ideas. It was eventually announced that the best scoring losers from the previous round would return to the tournament to take the places of the no-shows.

SkittleZ defeated Ca$hmoney 20-5
Ca$hmoney made it back into the tourney as a high scoring loser and got the chance to battle the mighty SkittleZ replacing the MIA nony. The subject was rather obscure as the columns were about a secret code in the referees’ striped shirts. Despite a valiant effort, Ca$h succumbed to the King of Fruitiness and the dream was over for another year. He did enjoy his run in the tournament though.

Originally Posted by Ca$hmoney

The CSI tournament, perhaps the greatest wrestling column writing tournament the world has ever seen. It was a great experience, as it gave me my start in writing here on these forums and I was even able to make it to the sweet 16, only to be beaten by the great SkittleZ. The tournament provided some of the best columns in recent memory and elevated both Dr. Monkey and Mazza to the main page. Sheepster and all of the judges deserve a standing O for putting this all together, and hopefully it can continue next year.

James_A defeated Mavsman 14-13
Mavs had put out a tremendous column about the LOPers of Wringville with the subject being a secret world under the ring. Mavs was not a happy bunny when he realised that Jimmy was returning to the competition following Andy Savana no-showing and James brought the pain. He created his own version of hell under the ring and it made for the tie of the round. Jimmy eventually took it by one vote, leaving Mavs disappointed and slightly bitter.

Originally Posted by Mavsman

Jimmy never beat me. I refuse to believe that. Jimmy lost in the previous round. I just declined to advance to the next round because I was going to be busy. Ask Sheepster. It's true.

Søren defeated the ticking clock 20-3
TTC’s great run came to an end when he came up against one of the pre-tournament favourites. The subject was wrestling in the future and despite a strong effort from clock, Sordini powered through before announcing that he was quitting the tournament due to time constraints. Here are TTC's thoughts on the tournament.

Originally Posted by the ticking clock

The CSI tourney was a can of unadulterated awesomeness. It had everything: giant killing, BK getting knocked out like three times (including once by a certain stunning debutante), columns praising X-Pac and a healthy dose of shotguns served with apple sauce. Not to mention, two awesome finalists.

Sean Taylor defeated TheAmazingOne 22-2
TAO’s obscure “Train of Thoughts” column had turned a few heads in the early round but he would be on holiday during round 2 and did a good job to get a rushed effort out with a column about the chokeslam. Unfortunately for him, he was up against Sean and despite a rather amusing song, TAO’s adventure came to an abrupt halt. Still, he taught us all to blame it on Batista.

Mazza defeated BeyondKnight 15-9
Mazza almost lost the plot when he saw that he had to write a column comparing wrestlers to American footballers. It is rumoured that as he knew nothing about the quote-unquote “sport”, he lobbied the judges for a change of subject before retracting it. When CoLd pulled out, Mazza sat back, smugly awaiting the next round before BK, the man who had explained to him the basics of egg-chasing, made his return to the tournament. BK certainly entertained but Mazza had just enough to make it through once more.

Degenerate defeated RIPBossman by disqualification (23-2)
Deg and Ripper would go at it with a review of the 2009 Royal Rumble. Deg’s n00b review was well received and RIP was adjudged to have sidestepped the topic, which resulted in an anticlimactic DQ finish.

ManWithThePlan defeated Dr. Monkey 17-6
Throughout January there was nobody hotter in the CF than the Doc so Plan really had his work cut out for him. The Man in his Magenta really bought his “A” game however and left the good Doctor reeling as they tackled columns on the top ten wrestling entrances. Let’s see what Plan thought about this victory…

Originally Posted by Plan

I remember when I beat Dr. Monkey. That was like my own Wrestlemania Moment. But obviously far superior.

JoeyShinobi defeated Ry P 17-9
Joey and Ry had the unenviable task of having to write about the effectiveness of set design in wrestling. Both are very strong writers and did not disappoint but Joey had a little more power in his arsenal.

THE ELITE 8

We were now down to 8 and it would be a very interesting round. Rather than 4 one-on-ones we would see the participants pair up to try to make it to the semi-finals. With Søren’s retirement from the competition, Ry P would make a comeback as highest scoring loser to take his place after Mavsman declined the opportunity. The teams would also have to recruit somebody who had been eliminated from the tournament to help them out.

Degenerate and Mazza (With BeyondKnight) defeated JoeyShinobi & ManWithThePlan (With Dr. Monkey) 46.5-35.5
Despite whispers of them skirting the topic, Mazza and Degenerate got to work on an amusing column to the backdrop of a playlist of WWE theme tunes. Their disagreements led to BeyondKnight once again getting all up in Mazza’s business as he was recruited to keep the peace. BK got kicked out off a balcony but not before sharing the Fred song with the world. There also seemed to be some static back in the UK as Plan and Joey had their issues as they had to write a letter to Vince McMahon. With the help of Mr. Donkey, they produced an entertaining piece but Mazza and Deg had enough in the tank to make it through.

Sean Taylor & Ry P (With Skaos) defeated SkittleZ & James_A (With The Godfather) 46-32.5
Does it make sense to rip off a judge? SkitZ and Jimmy certainly thought so as they recruited The Godfather to defend our noble sport to the masses with Examine the Irritation. If was an amusing effort but they were trumped by Sean and Ripe who delivered a fantasy Ring of Honor versus WWE card, smartly utilising the expertise of Skaos. P and Taylor ran out comfortable winners but at least SkittleZ has managed to put the tournament behind him.

Originally Posted by Skittlez

The CSI was a very traumatic experience for me personally. Yes I was given a bye in the first rounds of the tournament for winning CotM in the past but at the same time I was put on the same level as lower tier writers. Subjecting myself to such lower standards frazzled me a little and I wasn't able to compete at my highest capabilities.

I advanced past the Super Sixteen after my opponent in the opposing bracket, Anonymous, disappeared for two months roughly. Me and James_A were paired up against the likes of Sean_Taylor & Ry P in the Elite Eight. Jimmy thought it would be a great idea to do a parody of XanMan's Excuse the Aggravation and I was naive enough to buy into the concept. When it came time for voting, we were dominated by our opponents and the embarrassment flooded over me almost immediately. I'm still seeking counselling and will NEVER participate in one of Sheepster's tournaments ever again.

THE FINAL 4

With the collaboration round done and dusted, the theory was that winning pairs would split up and fight it out amongst each other. Unfortunately for Ripe, he missed the semi final deadline so the highest scoring losers from the previous round would have a write-off with the winner to face Sean. In the semi-finals, the rule was that you had to write a column in the style of your opponent.

JoeyShinobi defeated ManWithThePlan in a Write-Off to win the right to face Sean Taylor
The write-off was 1000 words on the Money in the Bank match and the tight battle saw Joey come out victorious.

Sean Taylor defeated JoeyShinobi 39-34
Sean expertly capture the essence of Real Time by Ry P before being forced to sweat it out whilst his new opponent was chosen. Joey eventually came through with a History Of: The InVasion column and it was game on. Both men did a great job and produced highly entertaining pieces but at the end of the day, Sean snuck by the challenge of the dragon.

Mazza defeated Degenerate 48-23
Mazza wasted absolutely no time in the acquiring the alter-ego ET Renegade as he became Degen from another dimension with a Bret Hart appreciation piece. Posting early really put the pressure on Deg as Mazza had produced a gem of a column (I think by far my best work to-date). The deadline drew nearer and Deg had to scrap his original idea and rush out a review of Wrestlemania 14. Credit to him, it was quite an impressive attempt but unfortunately, he could not fulfil his destiny by making it to the final, but at least he was gracious in defeat.

Originally Posted by Degenerate

I should've won this damn thing

THE FINAL

So it all came down to a battle of the historians, Mazza versus Sean Taylor. In another plot twist, it was announced that the final would be a “best of 3” and the losing semi-finalists would join the judging panel. They would also get their chance for revenge by choosing the stipulations for their conquerors in the first round of the final.

Round 1 - Mazza defeated Sean Taylor 30.5-21
Sean really got the rough end of the stick here as Joey banned him from using the word wrestling. He decided to go with a Roast of Vince McMahon and although a decent effort, he was blown away by Mazza who was in his comfort zone in delivering a review of some of LOP’s columnists’ favourite Wrestlemania matches.

Round 2 - Sean Taylor defeated Mazza (score unavailable)
Round 2 gave Mazza and Sean the opportunity to choose the stipulations for their opponent. Sean was back in his element by doing a History Of: The Diva Search which was too good for Mazza to compete with as he had to write a Hall of Fame ceremony for the likes of Bertha Faye and The Headbangers.

Round 3 - Mazza defeated Sean Taylor 60-59 to become 2009 CSI Champion
And so it all came down to this, an appreciation column on our least favourite wrestler, complete with poem. Once all was said and done, Mazza’s piece on Sean Waltman (no homo) beat out Sean’s column on Randy Orton by one point for Mazza’s Cinderella story to lead him all the way to victory. There are rumours circulating about Sean developing a split personality after the defeat. Here is what he had to say about it:

Originally Posted by Sean Taylor

This is Sean Taylor. I am a part of a minority. I'm not Latino, Asian, gay, or even African-American. No, I'm a Self-Talker. I talk to myself. Sometimes in public, often when I'm alone, and always when writing a column. I sometimes go over the day's events and sometimes I invent scenarios in my head and carry on long, drawn-out monologues about how smart, important, and/or funny I am.

The Classic Paper Review investigated further and obtained footage of Sean as he read the results.

Sean Taylor: Mazza won. Well, that's not surprising. He was a writing fiend from about February on and this was an extension of his white-hot writing period. Sure I would have loved to win, but if I look at it objectively, he truly deserved it more.

Competitive Side: Fuck that. Mazza's not half the writer I am. Besides he was given the easiest topic. Praising X-Pac? No one in their right mind would write a column like that. But EVERYONE and their brother can write a Randy Orton praising column. His stood out and yours didn't. Plus he probably greased the wheels by kissing up to the judges. Hell, he probably traded votes for column plugs on his new Main Page column spot. Cheating bastard!

Sean Taylor: Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's just sour grapes. He beat me fair and square. Hell, the voting was almost too close. I even suspect the judges were nicer to me just to make it that close. In the end, it was a great contest and I feel lucky enough just to make it as far as I did. It was a nail-biting, stressful, yet fun and exciting experience. . . .

Competitive Side: And?

Sean Taylor: And I'll knock out Mazza in the first round next year.

Competitive Side: Atta boy!

THE FALLOUT

So there you have it. After three and a half months of column writing, Mazza came out on top. CSI wasn’t without its casualties though. Early favourites Skaos and Soren have taken their leave from writing columns and CF favourites like Ry P and BeyondKnight have not been consistent in posting since the tournament stopped. We are all still on the look out for new columns from TheAmazingOne, the ticking clock and Ca$hmoney and the most burning question is what in the hell happened to Cenation? His big gold belts were becoming part of the CF furniture. Despite losing some of the best CF writers, a new wave has also come in, starting with the incomparable L-MAN. With the likes of JohnnyBoomerang, lenjr04, Cult Icon and NightofDay all making their CF debuts as CSI progressed, the next tournament is shaping up to be even more epic.

Before I sign off, I would like to take a moment to acknowledge the great work done by the judges, Sheepster, XanMan and T.O. Here is what the might sheep had to say about CSI.

Originally Posted by sheepster

What a fantastic tournament. I can't think of another tournament we've had here in the Columns Forum that was quite as large and stacked full of talent as this one. Almost all columns were of a higher standard than usual, and you all made it tough for everyone else. No one person had an easy ride through this contest. The proof of the pudding was Mazza and Sean, who contested the closest columnistic final I've ever seen! On behalf of the judges I'd like to thank you all for taking part, whether you wrote one column, several columns, or even just voted once or twice. You guys made it awesome. We'll see you all in January for CSI 2010.

*Out of nowhere, T.O. shows up*

T.O.: I have something to say. When I signed on to judge this contest, I was promised one thing. Well, a bevy of things, but sheepster discontinued the T.O. Goes to WrestleMania Fund, and John Cena is still alive. Small miracles, they are.

Mazza: Well I wasn’t expecting that. Anything else you were screwed out of?

T.O.: Yeah. I was promised a swimsuit competition.

*The Mod PA system kicks in and the voice of sheep can be heard saying "That's not a good idea, man!”*

T.O.: What? You're out of your mind! I mean, just look at this. Hold on...

*T.O. pulls out a small crumpled up piece of paper from his pocket*

T.O.: It says plain as day, right here: CSI. College Swimsuit Invitational. And yet, what did I end up with? A bunch of sweaty-palmed geeks typing crap about professional wrestling! I need a new agent, this shit was embarrassing.

*T.O. storms out of the building*

Mazza: Okay then.

Well I guess it is now definitely time to wrap this up before we get any further interruptions. A big thanks to the judges, reluctant or otherwise, as well as everyone who voted throughout the tournament. I happen to know that after a few recent problems between my fellow Brits and those dastardly Americans, that there is a US versus UK contest on the horizon. It will be a six-on-six “Ryder Cup” style tournament judged by Sean Taylor, anonymous and romans_3:23. Team captains will be Degenerate and JoeyShinobi and the patriots amongst you may want to keep an eye on Columns Central for more details. A brief warning though to any Yanks with aspirations of taking me down, my streak is not ending just yet. Thanks for reading this special edition of The Classic…

*Out of nowhere, BeyondKnight bursts into the room*

BK: Not so fast! You just couldn't help yourself could you? You couldn't just leave well enough alone? It's bad enough that you won this thing through deception and treachery, but now you’ve got the unbelievable gall to gloat about it? And where would you be without me Mazza?

Mazza: Hold up. You think I am going to take this once again from a guy that not only got knocked out of the tournament twice, both times courtesy of a Brit by the way, but also got killed off and escorted from a building. The only thing that got you close in the scoring against me was the fact that you played off my awesome column.

BK: Who was it that came BEGGING for my awesome righteousness when he didn’t know anything about American football! That would have been you! The only reason that you beat me in that round was because of the coalition of foreigners like yourself that completely ignorant to the real game of football and couldn’t understand the awesomeness of my column! It was a last second Hail Mary heave, and it nearly took you out Mazza! We both know it!

Mazza: Whatever. I think you should leave and take your sour grapes…

BK: So you advanced to your collab round with Degenerate. And still you were out of your league with your pathetic ratings and coefficients! And when you realized it wasn’t enough you came BEGGING again and I delivered! Damnit Mazza, I started a phenomenon with the Fred moniker! It’s everywhere now! Unleashing the full version of the Fred song single handedly brought you the win in that round. And if that wasn’t already enough I let you go over me. I made myself your fool and got thrown off a building for my trouble.

Mazza: I knew it was a mistake calling Dr. Monkey to help you.

BK: And don’t get me started on beating Degen on your own, that’s like invading France. It happens so often it’s not a major accomplishment. But you made it to the final stage of the competition. And what happened? You bent over Mazza, and you let them have their way with you!

Mazza: So does that mean you want me as one of your interns?

BK: No! Mazza, what you did goes so far beyond selling out that it disgust me. You took your platform and while the whole world was watching, you whored yourself to X-Pac. X-PAC!! In what could have been a moment of rebellion that would have gone down as legendary, you choose to prostitute all the quote-unquote “work” you had done simply so you could be the winner. The Champion of CSI; it disgusts me! What’s worse is that I had the power to stop all this from happening! But I am an honest man and one of great conviction. When it came time to choose between a hard working Canadian man of morals extolling the “virtues” of Fred, or a complete sell-out desperately trying to delude himself into thinking X-Pac was worth a place in so grand a scheme, I couldn’t handle it. I abstained from voting in the final round, it was the right and honorable thing to do and you won by a single vote! But don’t worry Mazza, I am here to rectify those inequities...

Mazza: Right, that is enough out of you!

*Mazza flies at BK and takes him down with a spear and unleashes punches. BK is getting back to his feet when out of nowhere Randy Orton appears*

Orton: Step aside, Mazza. I have some unfinished business to take care of.

*Orton stalks to hit BK with a punt but out of nowhere RKO TO MAZZA!!! He follows it up with a punt and helps the fallen BK to his feet*

BK: Thank you Fred. I’m glad to see that you’ve finally accepted your destiny.

Orton: You’ve been right the entire time BK. For months I have been hearing voices in my head. They do laugh at me, and they call me Fred. I couldn’t stand idly by and watch this happen. I believe this is yours…

*Fred hands BK the fallen CSI Trophy*

BK: Fred my boy, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship… Ladies and gentleman, that about wraps it up for this travesty of the Classic Paper Review. I of course am your friendly neighborhood BK, and the true breakout star of the CSI. Interns, play us out…

*Music begins*

BK: I hear voices in my head, they laugh at me, they call me Fred! They laugh at me…

Good Night Nation!

[NightofDay]

THIS WAS FUCKING AWESOME!

God I'm so pumped up! I want CSI 2010 NOW! And when I win, I want a mention like BK did in your column, only with Jericho in Orton's place! Hell, you can use the USA vs. UK tournament for that.

Seriously, your best column yet. And it wasn't even about wrestling! Imagine that!

[Martin Riggs]

Epic. Awesomeness.

[L-Man]

Oh my god i love you i love this column this was absolutely fucking awsome i cant even say anythign so right now i am just going to keep typing things in caps untill the joy uns out of me

yes i know i am incomparable thank you very mutch and hey nod i am going to win that fucking 2010 tournament you just watch mazza this was amazing amazing amazing

[Leonard]

You da man, sir.

--Leonard

[SkittleZ]

Ah.... I was wondering where the hell you were planning on posting this.

Great work from start to finish, Mazzaball. All the little details were fantastic and definitely an event worth reviewing. The little comments by CSI participants and later dialog were excellent. You creative bastard!

I hope you plan on writing a CPR for August Absurdity once it's finished! If not, my feelings will be crushed and we can no longer be friends.

Now go write something on the Main Page dammit and stop making these CF'ers look bad.

[Box Car Rocco]

Awesome

I know you mentioned your welcome to the CF taster version in the Write-Off section. That still remains my favourite column of yours even though it was around 1000 words long it was brilliant.

Edit: I just realized that your spoiler didn't work for me. Your plan to make me highlight it was foiled!

[Lucas_Nova]

I only joined last month, so wasn't fully aware of the prestige around the CSI. First off, congratulations on the victory, I've read a few of your columns now and I can see why you won!

Enough of the sucking up though! This was a great read, even if it wasn't about wrestling directly, great insight into the workings of the CSI for someone who hadn't previously realised the importance, as a (kinda) newbie, shame on me, right?!

[The Maz]

Nod The Scot - Calm down there, it wasn't that good... ok maybe it was. With UK-US and August Absurdity coming, the fun shouldn't stop.

J The Boom - Thanks you, Sir.

L The Man - Thanks, good luck for next year.

Leo The 04 - Right back at ya.

Tutti The Fruity - That darn BK just wont let me be. Do not worry, your baby will not be neglected. I shall post another CPR today. I will go one better for August Absurdity and start from the beginning, we are talking ratings and coefficients this time.

Criv The Rocco - I will definately try to get that out soon. A couple of my co-writers have disappeared off the face of the earth so I may have to rethink.

Champagne The Supanova - Thanks, man. It was an epic tournament and a lot of fun. There is no shame in being new and having looked at your early columns, I am sure you will be looking to make an impact in the next tournament.

[Hustle]

Unfortunately, I hadn't been able to fully keep up with most of the tournament prior to my Forums return, so I really appreciated this detailed look back at how everything went down.

Sounds like it had every right to be a disastrous clusterfuck, but it turned out to be awesome. I'm glad to see that there was such a good turnout.

Oh, your column.. come on, you know this was great stuff. You did such a great job that the entire column could've been made up, and I really wouldn't have been able to tell. Skillzzzz right there, home cheese.

[Mister E]

I joined the forums towards the latter stages of the column so i wasn't too sure about how things went but this was a very detailed look at how things went down. Very good column, very well written. I look forward to next years competition laready. Great stuff + congrats!!! -eoghan

['Plan]

I am deeply shocked and traumatised at how much you downplayed the column I had written that was clearly the greatest thing to grace the CSI in it's entire duration. I demand at least an addition of over 5 and a half paragraphs (exactly and under objective analysis) of how amazingly awesome that column was. If not I'm sending my ninja's in and look what they did to Dr Monkey in the CS...errr...I'll send the ninja's in.

The column was awesome as always and there's very little constructive criticism that can be given, especially to a man now on the Main Page. You're there for a reason friend and it's because you're very, very good at what you do. Having said that I must question how necessary the additions of T.O and BK were. They really weren't needed at all and added nothing to the column in my eyes, particularly for people who weren't here at the time the CSI was going down. It just felt a little like you were grasping for laughs or extra credit or something. It sounds harsh but I'm just saying how I felt my friend.

Otherwise, it's the usual strong stuff and other than, "Omgz this was teh shitz!" there's not much else to be said! Well done!

[The Maz]

Hus - It was a fun old time, particularly in the early rounds. Thanks for reading.

Eoghan - Thanks and don't worry, Sir. There are tournaments in the pipeline for you to show off your stuff.

Plantastico - I am sorry for selling you short as that really was an epic column. For the next tourney, where we demolish America, I will keep up-to-date whilst I am going. In fact, I have just had a thought... Interesting point you addressed. For TO, I just had to find a way to get his quote in. The BK bit was a bit more planned. The first reason is that it was pretty much a running theme through the tournament which I thought would be fun to continue. The second is that I often get worried about my columns become generic reviews which is why I try and mix things up wether it is with dialogue, chav words or whatever. Funnily enough I am not a fan of dialogue pieces as a rule and generally I'd stay away from them without a strong partner like Deg or BK available. I will take your comments under advisement for the future though.

[Kano]

Epic, pure and simple

[Roger Murtaugh]

The column was good, though I think it should have showcased the whole "Plan using performance enhancing drugs" controversy should have been covered.

[Stinger]

Wasn't hanging around all throughout the CSI tournament, so this was a great and informative read for me.

Great stuff Maz.

[JoeyShinobi]

You seem to have glossed over the bit where my semi-final entry, a 4,000 word History Of: was written in 9 hours after finding out I'd beaten 'Plan, and almost beat the King of History.

I just wanted to point that out.

[BeyondKnight]

CSI was the first tourney I have been around for, and it was a blast! But I am keeping the trophy Maz...

[Swanton Bomb]

Originally Posted by 'Plan

I am deeply shocked and traumatised at how much you downplayed the column I had written that was clearly the greatest thing to grace the CSI in it's entire duration. I demand at least an addition of over 5 and a half paragraphs (exactly and under objective analysis) of how amazingly awesome that column was. If not I'm sending my ninja's in and look what they did to Dr Monkey in the CS...errr...I'll send the ninja's in.

The column was awesome as always and there's very little constructive criticism that can be given, especially to a man now on the Main Page. You're there for a reason friend and it's because you're very, very good at what you do. Having said that I must question how necessary the additions of T.O and BK were. They really weren't needed at all and added nothing to the column in my eyes, particularly for people who weren't here at the time the CSI was going down. It just felt a little like you were grasping for laughs or extra credit or something. It sounds harsh but I'm just saying how I felt my friend.

Otherwise, it's the usual strong stuff and other than, "Omgz this was teh shitz!" there's not much else to be said! Well done!

Just remember 'Plan - had I been able to log in on time, your arse would have been out of the competition from the get go...

Mazza, this was (as many people have already said) Epic Awesomeness.

[The Maz]

Kano McMuffin - Thanks dude. You didnt enter CSI and will miss out on US-UK but I think that if Senor Fruity is taking notice, a first round AA match up between you and L-Man could be on the cards.

Doc - Ah, the whole, 2009 Man with Plan disposes if Cock Milk with the help of steroids" scandal. Your new name owns pretty much everything.

Stinger - It was hard enough to win as it was without you getting involved!!! There is always the next one. There is something about the letter S for talented writers. We have lost Skaos and Soren's columns since the tourney but at least we have an S replacement. I will stop now cos I am talking shit.

Skipper - Well you have done. That was quite impressive if you are half as on your game against the Americans, we shall be fine.

BK - Write a column please.

EoC - That column would have had Plan in trouble. What could have been!

Thanks all for reading and feeding.