Night Rising: Nothing beats the WWE live

[NightofDay]

Night Rising

Hello fellow wrestling fans. NightofDay back to astound and amaze you with his incredible views at wrestling that in his mind are awesome. Quick intro because I'm excited to get onto our main course today. The winner of the best PPV of '89 poll was WrestleMania V with half the votes. However before I do there is something rather somber to talk about.

Stupidity... just utter stupidity

As many of you know, earlier this week it was reported that a 9 year old boy was killed emulating Jeff Hardy's Swanton Bomb off a 13 storey apartment. Now Stinger has already talked about this but I just want to get this off my chest.

Don't. Fucking. Blame. WWE.

This is not their responsibility. The only people who are responsible for this are the boy's parents and the boy himself. When I was 9 years old I was jumping all over the place, doing frog splashes because they were the only thing I could do as I'm not really athletic but even I knew my limits. You can jump off sofas, benches and 'magic mushrooms' in the park but one thing you don't do is jump off a fucking building! That's akin to David Blaine actually wanting to last longer in a submerged tank of water. He used a parachute for god knows what reason which doesn't make sense at all, mainly because you're landing on your back when you do the Swanton.

To the boy's friend, get the name of the move right. It's a Swanton Bomb not a Swanton Dive. Like I said don't blame WWE. They put up their 'Don't Try This At Home' message throughout their broadcasts and at the start of their DVDs for one simple reason: To prevent stuff like this happening. But even if they put that message up every 5 minutes it won't make a difference because WWE can't make decisions for everyone. That boy made his decision to do a Swanton off a tall building and it ended up costing him dearly. Don't blame the game either. I don't seem to remember Jeff Hardy putting on a parachute when he did the Swanton hmm? Do I see him jumping off buildings in RTW mode? No I don't.

Furthermore where was the boy's parents when this whole fiasco happened? The mother says she was out shopping when the incident happened. Now if I had a 9 year old son and I needed to go shopping one thing I would not do is leave him on his own because who knows what might happen. Even if he was dragged kicking and screaming to the door he would still have to go because there are certain things that parents must understand and that is take responsibility. I mean they couldn't have left him with a neighbour or friend? Maybe drop him off at the friend's house he was supposedly to have a playdate with?

All I'm saying is just take the damn responsibility and don't put the blame on WWE. WWE do about as much as they can which is put up the warning broadcasts. They can't go to every single person's house and tell them not to copy what the wrestlers do. When you copy the wrestler's moves, make sure they're ones you can do safely at the very least. It's a damn shame really.

On a lighter note, I was at the RAW show in Glasgow last night which I'm putting as the bulk of this column.

Nothing beats the WWE live

First off I want to applaud the Glasgow crowd for their part in a great show. They were hot all night and reacted to everything. Every time someone landed on the mat they reacted. One thing that is key to a great show is a hot crowd and Glasgow were certainly rabid tonight.

The first match was between Kofi Kingston and The Miz. Being the first person out unless you count Tony Chimel the ring announcer Kofi got a pretty good pop. Kids loved his thunderclap. Miz got quite a lot of heat and got a "Chicken" chant. Kofi won with the Trouble in Paradise and got the show off to a good start. The match was good and got the crowd pumped up for the rest of the show.

Next up was William Regal accompanied by Layla taking on Charlie Haas. Regal got on the mic and insulted Scotland, causing many a heat thrown his way which was already at a fever pitch due to Regal being from England (Blackpool exactly. I've actually been to Blackpool and it's a very nice town with nice people). Haas came out and got the cheap pop by insulting Regal and sticking up for Scotland. Haas actually got a good pop considering his supposed 'Haas Heat'. Even the black hole of charisma Mike Knox got a reaction. Regal sadly won with a high knee to the temple but Haas ended up getting an ovation at the end of the match. He looked quite touched by it to be honest.

Next out was the comedy genius known as Santino Marella taking on Goldust. Santino was greeted with a mostly positive reaction. He responded with "You like-a me, and I like-a you!". He also put over his twin sister "Santina" which got a few wolf whistles. Goldust got a good reaction as well which comforts me in knowing that us Scots have a good eye on the past. Santino mocked Goldust's kneeling in the corner and the two had an OK match. Nothing special but Santino got the crowd involved. Santino won with a fluke roll up after Goldust missed a charge in the corner.

The Women's title was on the line as Beth Phoenix challenged Melina in an attempt to bring the title back to RAW. Kelly Kelly was the special guest referee and made her presence known by banning Rosa Mendes from ringside. Beth got some heat while Melina was cheered (to no surprise). Melina won with a roll up after Kelly and Beth got into an argument.

There was a brief intermission before Tony Chimel brought out the Honey Monster (who was sponsoring the UK tour) to give out a secret password to use at honeymonster.co.uk for the chance to win a pair of tickets to see SummerSlam. To all you UK people reading this, guess what? I'm not telling you what the password is! Like I'm going to feed you stuff that would make life fun for you!

After intermission the Unified Tag Team Championship was on the line as Mike Knox and Kane (Knox was booed while Kane got cheers) took on Carlito and Primo. It was a surprisingly good match and the fans loved the Colons. They were disappointed when Kane failed to do the chokeslam though. The finish came when Carlito sneaked up from behind on Knox and hit the Backstabber while Primo landed on Knox.

The god known as Chris Jericho came out to tell us Scots that we were failures and hypocrites and gave us the whole 'I am an good man, I am an honest man' speech that never gets old. Hell I marked out because I thought he wouldn't be there what with his move to SmackDown earlier this week. CM Punk was his opponent who got a huge ovation. Together the two of them would put on the match of the night. At one point Jericho went outside to get a chair and while the ref was taking it out Jericho snatched the MITB briefcase and cold cocked Punk right in the head with it, before putting it back in the corner and dropping to the floor like he was down and out too ala Eddie Guerrero. The crowd immediately picked up on it and started chanting "Eddie" until Punk kicked out at which point they went nuts again. Then the best thing the crowd did all night happened: The dueling chants. "Let's go Jericho!" "Let's go Punk!". I'll leave you to guess who were chanting for who. Since I'm a fan of both and a genius I decided to do the next best thing and chant both chants. Punk eventually won with the GTS and Jericho sold it like a champ.

The main event was next as Edge and Big Show took on Rey Mysterio and John Cena. Before that though the fans were teased as they played DX's music to promote the DX Invasion Tour this November. Rey was loved by everyone but the goddamn roof of the Braehead Arena nearly got blew off when Cena's music hit. There were a few boos but they were drowned out by the screaming majority of the fans. I'm proud to say that I wasn't one of those haters because unlike some people I actually enjoy Cena. In fact if you saw me in 2005 I was the biggest John Cena mark around. Nonetheless the fans wanted Cena and Rey Rey to pick up the win and thus their wish was their command. At one point Edge tagged in Show by slapping his chest. The look on Show's face was priceless. Rey hit a 619 and his lazy splash off the top rope (I refuse to call that piece of shit a frog splash) on Edge while Cena hit the Attitude Adjustment on Big Show. I once again marked out mainly because I saw Cena hit the Big Show with the (former) F-U. Both men got the pin and everyone went home happy.

I couldn't help but chuckle at the people who were disappointed that Triple H, Batista and Shawn Michaels weren't there and while not seeing Shawn was kind of annoying, everyone got their money's worth and anyway, isn't that what matters in wrestling?

The Dark Review: Royal Rumble 1990

Royal Rumble 1990
January 21, 1990
Orlando Arena
Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone (again?) and Jesse "The Body" Ventura

The Background

Royal Rumble '90 marked the second year of the Rumble on PPV, and again, the Rumble itself was relatively meaningless since the winner didn't receive anything special. Still, it was these early Rumbles that established the event as something special and unique, and the reason that it remains the favorite gimmick match of many today.

We're off to a good start already as during the opening shot, the camera pans straight across a sign reading "Scary Sherri's chest is hairy". Tony and Jesse go over what we're about to see, and Jesse pimps the location of the event by dressing entirely in Mickey Mouse gear. This is the first time the WWF has been to the new O-rena, and the announcers don't hesitate to make a big fuss over how nice it is.

The Bushwhackers vs. The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers

This is our yearly meaningless tag team match at the Rumble, and we're getting it out of the way right off the bat. This would turn out to be the Rougeau's final PPV, though Jacques, who looks weird with a beard in this match, would return the next year as the Mountie, and Ray Rougeau would go on to eventually become an interviewer and French commentator. Standard Bushwhacker fare here, as they blatantly double team, and consequently bite, everything in site, including the ref. Not surprisingly, the Rougeaus soon outsmart them and double team Luke, but Butch gets the hot tag and it's more Bushwhacker double teams. Jimmy Hart ends up in the ring, but the Rougeaus save him. The Bushwhackers hit the battering ram on Jacques, and he sadly jobs to it at 13:35. Not much of a match, but surprisingly enjoyable at times. At least it served its purpose for getting the crowd into it.

Match Rating: 0.5/5

Gene Okerlund is with Ted DiBiase and Virgil backstage. Apparently measures were taken this year to prevent chicanery like last year, when DiBiase bought #30 from Slick. This year, DiBiase has drawn #1. Sucks for him.

Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake vs. The Genius

On a Saturday Night's Main Event prior to this, the Genius actually beat Hulk Hogan via countout with Mr. Perfect's interference, which led to a Perfect/Hogan feud that never really went anywhere because Hogan didn't want to job the Title to him, and Hogan/Warrior was going to be set up for WrestleMania VI anyway. The Genius and Beefcake stall a lot and fill up ten minutes before the ref is bumped. I didn't think it was possible to fill so much time with with so little substance, but here we are. Beefcake puts the Genius to sleep with the ref out, and starts cutting his hair. Perfect comes out for the save, and levels Beefcake with a chair. The ref comes to and disqualifies both men at 11:07. This set up Perfect/Beefcake for WrestleMania VI.

Match Rating: 0.5/5

Sean Mooney is with the Heenan Family, which boasts several competitors in the Royal Rumble Match, where it's every man for himself. Mooney tries to stir up shit.

WrestleMania VI promo.

Submission Match: "Rugged" Ronnie Garvin vs. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine

This was the blowoff to their epic feud. If epic means boring, that is. Both go for pins at various times, but those of course don't count since it's a submission match. Garvin has a brace that blocks the effects of the Figure Four, so when Valentine hooks it on, Garvin just laughs at him. Fortunately, Jimmy Hart is later able to rip it off, enabling Valentine to apply the hold for real. Garvin doesn't submit, and counters. Later he rips off Valentine's own brace that enhances the effects of the Figure Four and nails him in the head with it. Then he hooks the sharpshooter, then called the Hammer Jammer by Garvin and by the announcers, and picks up the submission win at 16:55. Not great, and kind of boring, but at least they did their best to tell a good story.

Match Rating: 2/5

Gene interviews Perfect, who reveals that he drew #30, the Perfect number. He then cuts a promo about his attack on Beefcake earlier, when he injured the Barber's ribs. A classic line follows, as Perfect says, "Ya know, hair grows back, Beefcake, but your ribs might not grow back... the right way." That's your quote of the night, folks.

The Brother Love show comes to PPV. I'm sure paying customers must be thrilled with that. Brother Love brings Sensational Queen Sherri out, followed by Sapphire. Sherri and Love run down Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire. After eight minutes of verbal abuse, Sapphire slaps Sherri, so Savage, and subsequently Rhodes, run down and scuffle. Several refs, including a young Shane McMahon (in his traditional bi-PPV appearance), usher Savage away, and Dusty beats up poor Brother Love to the delight of the crowd. This, of course, led to the mixed tag between Savage & Sherri and Rhodes & Sapphire at WrestleMania VI.

Sean Mooney is with "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan. Moron. You guess which one I'm referring to. It won't matter anyway. Actually, I take that back; everyone bashes Sean Mooney, but I actually liked the guy. Now guess which one I'm referring to.

"Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs. The Big Boss Man

Boring. Though he's bigger, Boss Man is actually quicker than Duggan here, and is in the midst of his big weight loss period. Boss Man runs through his usual, but when he gets in trouble he resorts to using his nightstick and gets DQ'ed at 10:26. Not exciting at all.

Match Rating: 1/5

WrestleMania VI promo.

Pre-recorded comments from Royal Rumble participants are shown. Amongst those included are Dino Bravo & the Canadian Earthquake, Demolition, Bad News Brown, The Rockers, Hercules, Rick Martel, Tito Santana, Jimmy Snuka, Akeem (with the Slickster!), and the Ultimate Warrior.

More pre-recorded fun, as Sean Mooney talked to fans outside the O-rena earlier in the day to see who they were pulling for to win the Rumble. Most picks are the usual (Hogan, Warrior, Piper), but one smart little girl went with a tag team mid-carder named Bret Hart. Wow! That was pretty cool. Oh, and some guy picked Ax for some reason...

More comments from the participants, this time from Randy Savage (how does he see through those sunglasses? They look solid, not transparent at all), the Powers of Pain (how come they only grunted after the heel turn?), Jake Roberts, The Hart Foundation, The Honky Tonk Man, and Hulk Hogan. Honky acts like he doesn't know what number he's drawn yet, but everyone else who's spoken makes it clear that they've already drawn.

The Royal Rumble Match

#1 is Ted DiBiase, and #2 is Koko B. Ware. DiBiase dominates, then dumps Koko on a charge attempt before it's even time for the next participant to enter. #3 is Marty Jannetty. He and Teddy do a nice sequence which ends when DiBiase ducks a Marty high crossbody, and Jannetty spills to the floor. Ted waits for #4, and it turns out to be his arch-rival Jake "The Snake" Roberts. They go through the second rope and brawl on the floor, then take it inside. #5 is Randy Savage to make it three good wrestlers in there. Savage stops Jake's attack on DiBiase, and starts to work him over. Question: In 1990, the fans were behind Jake and wanted to see him destroy DiBiase, but now Savage is stopping him from doing so. So, during the "evil" Jake/"hero" Savage feud in 1991, didn't Jake have provocation for attacking Savage, and shouldn't the fans have still supported him? Just a thought. This year in the Rumble, they're playing the music for each entrant as they come down, something they'd stop doing the next few years, then pick up again in the mid 90's. They played Jannetty's music and Jake's music, but don't, however, play Savage's. I guess they decided against it because it built too slowly and since he ran to the ring it would barely start before they stopped it. Anyway, back to the action, "Rowdy" Roddy Piper comes in at #6 and the place goes nuts. This is his kind of match. #7 is the Warlord. For the first time ever at a Rumble, managers are allowed at ringside, so Virgil, Sherri, and Mr. Fuji are all there. #8 is Bret Hart, limping. Get the Warlord out, and you'd have all big names in there. Bret and Piper double team the Warlord until #9, Bad News Brown, comes down and goes after Bret just for old times sake. #10 is Dusty Rhodes, who goes straight after Savage.

#11 is Andre the Giant, who immediately dumps fellow heel the Warlord. Fuji protests, so Heenan shoves him. Way to stick up for your men, Brain. I guess that's why Heenan got the Barbarian, and not the Warlord when the Powers of Pain split up a few weeks after this. #12 is the Red Rooster, as I realize they've stopped playing entrance music for everyone altogether. What the hell? I guess they weren't supposed to play those first few, but screwed up. If you ask me, it's better with the music, but whatever. Insta-feud rears its ugly head, as Piper eliminates Brown, but Bad News gets pissed, climbs back in and eliminates Piper despite the protests of several refs including, you guessed it, Shane McMahon. Piper and Brown brawl to the back as the announcers make a big deal about it. This would lead to a WrestleMania VI match between the two. Piper and Bad News, not Jeese and Tony. Piper and Bad News; big deal. I mean the ref watching them over there (Shane) would end up getting in more big feuds than both of them combined, so who cares? Jesse refers to the brawl as a "street fight", though this is very tame compared to the real Street Fight we'd see ten years later at the Rumble. Anyway, #13 is Ax of Demolition, as Andre dumps the Rooster. I've actually made it seem like Rooster was in there a long time since I've gone off on a tangent since he entered, but don't worry, he was only #12 which means he lasted an astounding two minutes. Ax smashes Andre down to the mat. #14 is Haku, Andre's partner (and co-holder of the Tag Team Titles), so he helps the big guy. But then #15 is Smash (what a coincidence), so we get the big Demolition/Colossal Connection showdown.

#16 is Akeem. Demolition charges into Andre and ram him out over the top. Bret is eliminated on the far side of the ring at the same time. #17 is Jimmy Snuka, who headbutts Akeem, which of course sends him flying over the top rope to the floor. Yeah right. #18 is Dino Bravo. Demolition double teams everyone. #19 is the massive Canadian Earthquake, who quickly dumps Dusty and Ax. #20 is Jim Neidhart. Five guys (everyone in there but Bravo) team up to lift Earthquake over the top rope and dump him. #21 is Intercontinental Champion, Ultimate Warrior, and the O-rena erupts. He does a sloppy sequence with Bravo before eliminating him. #22 is Rick "The Model" Martel. Haku tosses Smash. Tito Santana is #23 and goes right for Martel. #24 is the Honky Tonk Man, who gets some shots in on the Warrior. Yeah, that makes up for SummerSlam '88, Honky. When Honky dropped the IC Title to him it killed all his heat and any success he was ever going to have, but that's okay because Honky was never that good anyway. Honky scores a big right hand on the Warrior. You show him, Tonk. Neidhart gets tossed. Warrior clotheslines DiBiase out and the crowd goes crazy. DiBiase lasted 45 minutes. Great performance.

#25 is WWF Champion, Hulk Hogan, whose entrance outpops Warrior's. Snuka, of all people, goes for him and gets clotheslined out. Haku is next to go, courtesy of a big boot. Martel dumps Tito. #26 is Shawn Michaels. Hulk tosses Honky, and the Warrior dumps Shawn and Martel to clear the ring. It's down to Hogan and the Warrior, and the crowd explodes. A criss-cross leads to a double clothesline. Barbarian comes in at #27 to ruin everything. The crowd is dead, so Rick Rude, allegedly #28, comes in a full minute early to help out. Huh? Rude and Barbarian try to dump the Warrior, so Hogan clotheslines them, and Rude and Warrior end up spilling out together, with only Warrior being eliminated. Warrior isn't happy about it, but does come back into cheap shot the heels before running down the aisle and leaving for good. What a lunatic, or as Jesse would simply say, "Idiot". Hercules is #29, and Mr. Perfect rounds it out at #30. Perfect stomps the hell out of a beaten Hogan. Make 'em count, Curt. Herc backdrops Barbarian out. Rude clotheslines Herc out, in turn, and the Minnesotians double team Hogan. Rude accidentally nails Perfect to the apron, and when Hogan whips Rude into the ropes, a dazed Perfect pulls the ropes down on Rude to send him tumbling to the floor. Only Perfect and Hogan remain. Perfect sells everything and Hogan sells nothing, so it's made to look very one-sided. Perfect uses a Perfect-Plex, and Hogan no-sells, which is stupid for so many reasons I won't even get into it. Hogan slingshots him, then launches him over the top in the corner, for the meaningless victory at 58:46. I say it's meaningless because he's already the Champion, so the win did him no good, and an elimination wouldn't have even constituted laying down for anyone, but no. Hogan prevails again. The crowd loves it though, so I guess it's all good. Poor Perfect never got his true due and never quite did get his hands on the Championship.

Match Rating: 4/5

Key Stats

Matches: 5
Total Wrestling: 110:32
Average Match: 22:06
Average Match Rating: 1.5/5
Top Moments: Perfect destroying Beefcake, DiBiase's performance, Jake getting his hands on DiBiase, Hogan coming face to face with the Warrior, and Perfect coming damn close to victory.

Thoughts and Farewells

That wraps it up. This isn't a memorable show at all, but it was entertaining enough and did serve its purpose of setting up WrestleMania VI. On this night alone, the foundation for six WrestleMania matches were either started or enforced: Beefcake vs. Perfect, Jake vs. DiBiase, Rhodes & Sapphire vs. Savage & Sherri, Demolition vs. Colossal Connection, Piper vs. Bad News, and of course, Hogan vs. Warrior. Needless to say, that show ended up delivering a lot more than this one did.

Phew. I'm away to bed. I'm tired and my throat is killing me. That's what you get screaming Jericho's name out too loud.

Until Next Time
NightofDay

[cicero]

Very enjoyable and you're starting to get really rather good at this whole column writing buisiness.

[Martin Riggs]

I'm not really sure what to say here. I mean, it was really fun to read, and clear you enjoyed yourself. There weren't really any mistakes i noticed. Yeah. Solid stuff and keep them coming!

EDIT: Really 3 times in that short space of time? Shame on me.

[SUPERFAN!]

Hey dude. I like your column, you can obviously write well, it never dragged and I abolutely fully agree on your stupidity rant. And I enjoyed reading about your live experience.

But I do have some suggestions that I would like to...um...suggest.

First off, I don't like the entire font being colored, personally. I'd rather have it be white. It just reads alot better. I know you have this "Dark" theme going, so how about typing your column in all black, forcing the reader to scroll and highlight the text to read it? I think that would be pretty cool. But of course, that's your call, obviously.

Another thing that I'd like to say, which I know you won't like, is that I think you should lose the PPV review unless its a current PPV that has just passed. I know its the focal point of your columns, but honestly, I for one, don't really care much about a PPV that happened way back when unless you gave your opinion on why it was special to you. You did make some points on this one setting up Mania 6, but overall, it was just a basic run down of what happened with your rating.

I would like to see more opinion in your columns like the stupidity rant which could have been further developed and broadened into a whole column on its own. You have the skills, so forget the old PPV reviews and get crackin' on something else that is awesome in your mind.

Whether you heed the advice or not, I will check you out next time because I think you are capable of more. Later skater.

[Leonard]

Very cool, Mr. Night. No criticism here, except I'm still an advocate for making the "Night Rising" portion somehow relate to the "Dark Review" section. I still like it, regardless, I just think it would be beneficial to connect the two sections. EDIT: I checked out the "Zeus" column...great work there, too.

Anyhow, as soon as I read the "Swanton Dive" story, I said "where are the parents." I actually say that out loud whenever I see delinquent children in any public place. I see it all of the time in my line of work, too...parents generally don't care nowadays (I realize I'm painting the world with a very broad brush). Everything else was solid, except I thoroughly enjoyed the Garvin/Valentine match...just my opinion there. Great job! Glad you enjoyed your WWE live experience.

--Leonard

[NightofDay]

cicero- Thank you. I'm now totally comfortable doing this column writing thing and is something that I now enjoy. It's more like a hobby now than a pastime unless that's the same thing.

JohnnyBoomerang- Proof reading is the Holy Grail. That is all.

SUPERFAN!- Use black text? I'd have to put a disclaimer at the start for the mods just in case they think it's a new thread with no text, thus locking it, banning me and causing many a tear to go around the CF. They will then blame you for the catastrophe. Just kidding. To be honest I enjoy doing the Dark Review because it allows me to not only see what the matches were like back then but it's also fun to see the differences between today and yesteryear.

lenjr04- I actually made a column about Zeus which was related to Survivor Series '89 last week. I was basically criticising WWE's decision to bring in an unproven actor to wrestle, especially as a heel considering heels are in control for most of the match. I know what you mean by the problems the world faces nowadays with kids. I'm telling you up here in Scotland the whole country is going to pot to be honest. Not only that but the entire UK what with the idiot of a Prime Minister we have right now. You enjoyed Garvin/Valentine. I enjoyed it as well but at times it got a bit boring. I think the only submission match that really worked for me was Bret/Austin. Everything else just gets boring if you keep using submission moves. Yes it brings psychology into the match but you need some actual slamming moves as well to keep my attention.

Thanks to everyone who left me feedback.

[Cult Icon]

very consistant w what you have been putting out recently, which is not a bad thing. you continue to put out good columns, and the rant you had in there today definitely was a high point. like SUPERFAN! said earlier, you may want to include more opinion stuff in future columns. once again, very good job and keep it up

[NightofDay]

Cult Icon- Opinion will be definitely implemented in the next column. I don't know what I'm actually putting before the Dark Review of WrestleMania VI. Right now I'm gearing towards the contrasting styles of Hogan and Warrior and how they managed to appeal to the fans.

Thank you for leaving feedback.