Tough group means they are virtually eliminated already.
31. New Zealand
Perhaps the best placed minnows to break out of the group, but would immediately fall to the Netherlands, if they were to manage it.
30. Honduras
The best of those with no chance of making it past the round of 16.
29. Algeria
Shouldn't escape the group, but are capable of springing surprises on much better teams, as Egypt found out.
28. Australia
A poor side compared with the last one, a tough group makes progress unlikely, though a match with England will be a good motivator.
27. Japan
Technically proficient and the first *good* team on the list, but lack firepower and probably looking at a first round exit.
26. South Africa
Higher than they would be in any other country, If they can miraculously win their group they could be looking at quarters, but realistically getting out of the group is the aim.
25. Paraguay
Will be hoping for second round, but too many issues to go much further. Would likely be cut to pieces by Sneijder.
24. Cameroon
If the team can supply Eto'o, they could be dark horses, but they need an immediate turn around in competitive form.
23. Ghana
Losing Michael Essien is a big blow. They will still be a tough game for anyone, and if they can get out of the group can spring upsets, but Group D is tough.
22. Greece
Will be organised, but difficult to see what they offer beyond that. If they are very lucky, QF's max, though could conceivably finish bottom of group B.
21. Nigeria
Similar situation to Greece, and without Jon Obi Mikel you wonder how good they will be. A different prospect now; my prediction of them going through doesn't look great without him, though there are goals in the team if they can find them.
20. Uruguay
By virtue of a tough group, Uruguay are pretty unlikely, despite having one of the best strike partnerships in the tournament. Could be a surprise package, but Argentina probably wait in the second round....
19. Switzerland
Up in the air whether the Swiss will progress, and if they do the odds are Brazil await. 2nd round at best.
18. USA
Could well escape from the group, and a 2nd round win isn't beyond them either, but should be out of their depth if they were to reach the quarters.
17. Chile
See Switzerland, only with more flair.
16. South Korea
Now my favourites from group B to make it to the round of 16, although not by much. Probably won't make quarter finals.
15. Slovenia
If they finish 2nd behind England, a tough game with Germany awaits. Obviously, they need to get past USA first...
14. Slovakia
2nd round would be respectable for Slovakia in their first world cup, when I expect they will lose to the Dutch. If they can surprise Italy in the group stage, though, they could play weaker opposition and make the quarters.
13. Denmark
Denmark are organised, and qualified well. Don't bet against them beating a weak Italian team and making it to the quarters.
12. Mexico
Technically proficient, nearly knocked out Argentina four years ago; Mexico are decent dark horses, perhaps not for the win, but for a long run. If they win the group, they could be semi-finalists. If they come 2nd, it will likely be Argentina again.
11. Serbia
Should make the second round, and capable of surprising England. The best of the teams the pundits aren't mentioning. Also capable of beating France, which would put them into a semi-final.
10. Ivory Coast
See next.
9. Portugal
Ivory Coast and Portugal are grouped together, because there is no telling which one will escape the group. I've gone for Ivory Coast myself, but I think Portugal are better suited to the knockout stages if they manage to get through, so I've put them at 9 ahead of Africa's highest placed team.
8. Italy
The reigning champions are probably the weakest of the favourites, with ageing legs and a lack of goals. A weak run should see them make the quarter finals, after which they may have found some form, a la 2006.
7. Netherlands
Netherlands are almost sure-fire quarter finalists, but the predictable draw would throw them up against Brazil here. If they get through that game, they could be finalists, but I don't see it happening.
6. France
France haven't had the best results and could be in a scrap to get out of their group. If that doesn't materialise, they will have a good run to the QF's, where a match with England will look winnable to them, even though they probably won't be fancied.
5. Germany
Could well have to play Argentina in the Quarter finals again, and could well fall at that stage, but often manage to pull it out when they need to, and wouldn't bet against them beating Argentina again. Oddly, finishing runner-up would almost certainly see them reach the semi-finals.
4. England
If England do the business in the group stage, they should at least meet France in the Quarter finals, in a game which is winnable. Once they reach the semi-finals though, they will probably be, by some margin, the weakest team left.
3. Argentina
I have them losing to Spain in a semi-final, assuming they make it past Germany. Beat Spain there, and they can win the whole thing.
2. Brazil
Should, in all honesty, make the final. Anything less will be seen as failure, with a route that will probably contain Chile, Netherlands and England or France.
1. Spain
If they lose to anyone it'll be considered in the football world at large a 'shock', so I've got to put them in at number one.
Even the biggest anti-EngYank couldn't really believe Algeria'll come above those two in their group. They should be happy just to be there. I can't help but think a lucky win against Egypt might've stopped a really good African team coming in and instead, we've got this pile of Shit. If England and the USA had to play Egypt, it'd be a lot more interesting. Basically, fuck Algeria for spoiling my fun.
#30 Honderus
With Palacios injured, they'd be 32nd. But, since he's said he'll be fit, I'm bumping them up a whole two places. Unlike Eto'o and Vittek who're good enough to make an impact on their own and score some goals, I don't think Palacios is capable of being that big a difference. He's a good player but, not a great player. I love that Pavon's in their team too. Not that it'll make a difference.
#29 Japan
In 2002 they did well to get out their group. But, they were hosts. Their 2006 World Cup says a lot more about them and I don't think they'll improve on that. They'll be lucky to get a point.
#28 Slovakia
In the same group as Paraguay and just as unlikely to get further than the second round. The easy group'll see one of Paraguay and Slovakia come second to Italy, before a loss in the next stage. I think Paraguay'll nick it though and Slovakia, plus Vittek (who's the Eto'o of their team) will go home.
#27 Paraguay
Edgar Barreto rocks. Santa Cruz will play to advertise himself and to secure his future. The rest of the team is pretty poor. They'll be fun to watch and could knock 4 or 5 past New Zealand but, after the second round, they'll go nowhere.
#26 Ghana
If they had Essien they'd have made the top 20. Without it, I think they'll come bottom of their group. A win against Austrailia or Serbia could be possible. A point against the other could happen. But, they won't make it out of their group. Which is a shame.
#25 Greece
It's sad to put the Greeks so low down the list but, they're just not that good any more. A few aging talents living off the memories of 2004 and some very mediocre guys at their peak. "Samaras" and "goals" can't go in the same sentence for Greece, whilst Karagounis (who I loved) should be picking up his pension. Any points they get'll be a plus.
#24 Slovenia
I would LOVE Slovenia to win their group. And they've got a good enough mix of players to give the Yanks and the Limeys a good scare. Do I think they're good enough to make it out the group? No. Do I want them to do it? More than anything else in the world. At England's expense preferably.
#23 Switzerland
About as interesting as a dead fly with none of the meat. I don't care about Switzerland. But I made that simile up. It's pretty good, isn't it?
#22 Australia
I like Tim Cahill. And Mark Swartzer. But any team with Harry F'in Kewell deserves to be sent home. Soon.
#21 Nigeria
21st in the world rankings and 21st on my list. Sounds about right. Shit goalkeepers, poor defense, mediocre midfield and 45 year old 33 year old Kanu and 32 year old 25 year old Martins still playing upfront. Everything sounds wrong about their team but, they've managed to get results with bad teams before and they could do it again. If anyone's going to scare the Argie's it's Nigeria. They should lose 10-0 on paper and that'll heap pressure on Maradona's men and a shock result could easily be on the cards there. If they do lose, they may as well go home.
#20 Denmark
Bendtner could be a break-out star of the World Cup. He hasn't got enough credit for his club form this season but, in Denmark, he's hugely popular. And I would've ranked them higher if I was certain he'd be fit. The evergreeness of their squad could prove to be more of a handicap than a help but, I don't think they'll be a walkover by any means.
#19 South Africa
No, they're nothing special. If this World Cup was in any other place in the World, they'd be 30th. But, the Host Nation always has a tendancy to do reasonably well. Ask those English fools. But, South Africa haven't got a bad team and a few good performances from Pienaar and co, combined with nice refs and a huge fanbase, could see them shock everyone.
#18 Serbia
Partly because Australia and Ghana are likely to suck in this tournament and partly because Vidic is awesome; either way, they'll probably come second in their group and be knocked out in the second round. They won't surprise anyone by doing so and I don't think they've got enough talent to do any better.
#17 USA
They should make it out the group. But Paul Robinson should be in South Africa. It doesn't always happen that way. They've improved a lot in recent years. Like Portugal though, their strikeforce has little to be desired. Unlike Portugal, they don't have the best player in the world to cover that fact up. Eventually, they'll lose. Probably in the second round.
#16 Ivory Coast
No Drogba? That's not good.I don't think they'll make it out of the group stages. But, I like Sven and think he's underrated as a manager and could mastermind a mini-miracle. He could just be thwarted by Ronaldo for the second World Cup in a row though. I'd like to see Sven get one over on the Portugese Wanker though and Ivory Coast to scrabble out of the group. Where they'll lose in the second round.
#15 South Korea
After such a good World Cup in 2002, it was disappointing (and bs) that they left 2006 in the group stages. This year, they'll probably do better and it'll be nice to see those dog-eaters doing well. They're not a bad team by any means. Just ridiculously average. And they'll do averagely. Like average teams should do.
#14 Cameroon
Eto'o.
#13 Chile
Their attack is awesome. They'll knock several past the Swiss and Hondurus (I'm calling it) and leave their group in good spirits. They'll even give the Spaniards a battle. Basically, if their strikers click and score as many goals together as they did for their clubs this season, they'll be the surprise package. If not, they should still reach the second round.
#12 Mexico
Yep, you got that right. Hideously underrated and vastly improved over the last few years, Mexico could easily come 2nd in group A and shock the world. They've got a lot of talented young players mixed with experience. There's nowhere outstanding but everywhere's solid. They've got more flair than Greece did when they won 2004 and a much better team. Who says the young ones won't have a tournament to remember?
#11 France
Diego Forlan'll knock 6 past them soon and that should wake them up a bit. Anelka and Malouda had a fun time whilst Drogba was at the African Nations and if they're half as good together as they were then, they'll do okay. Sadly, judging from friendlies, they're not. They're in terrible form and might emulate their achievements of 2002. Mexico and South Africa could even come above them. China PR did and all 3 of their group opponents are better than that. Worrying.
#10 Portugal
They lost Nani which a year ago wouldn't have been a blow. Now it is. Their strike force is pretty terrible as well and minus a certain Mr Ronaldo, the rest of the team aren't too special. If Ronaldo tries to take on the World by himself, they'll do well. If Queiroz stops Ronaldo being Ronaldo and limits his freedom, they'll struggle to get out the group
#9 Germany
The German's are always fierce competitors and they're still a good outfit this year. But, they've lost their captain and Klose's not in superb form. Those two factors may see them miss out this time around. Defensively they'll be good. Attack-wise they'll be dull. Results-wise they'll probably be like Italy. Ugh.
#8 England
If Wayne Rooney gets injured/sent off/arrested, move them to 31st. But, with him on the team, they've got a real chance of proceeding. But, minus the first 11, they're pretty poor and their two first choice goalkeepers both had underwhelming seasons and neither are anywhere near world class. Basically, they suck balls and if they win the thing, their Manager will have more to do with it than the team.
#7 Holland
One of my favourite teams in the thing, Holland are one of the best teams to watch and a lot of people's second team. They missed Van Der Sar terribly though and every time Van Persie goes down, Arsenal fan's hearts will skip a beat. If they're Robbenless though, they're not going to do well this year and may need to wait for year when they'll be a force to be reckoned with.
#6 Brazil
A good team, if not spectacular by their own high standards. Robinho'll get in a strop and go home. Kaka'll underachieve. Again. Their goalkeeper will be a liability. And they'll still reach the semis. They won't win it though.
#5 Uruguay
Diego Forlan.
#4 Italy
No longer the team of old but, they've still got a bloody good defense and a fantastic keeper. They could easily 1-0 their way to the World Cup. I can't see many teams scoring past them. In fact, only Spain, Holland and Argentina, in my opinion, are that good in attack. They could struggle going forward but, they'll be up there.
#3 Spain
For years they seemed to be jinxed. They couldn't win a major tournament. Then they ummm won a major tournament. Their squad's really stong and they've got a lot of confidence. But when (not if) Torres, Fabregas and about 3 other players get injured, they'll go out. And they'll have something to blame.
#2 Argentina
As normal clubs managed by Jose Mourinho may've noticed, having an outspoken manager takes a lot of pressure off the team. And Argentina have a bloody good team. Maradona's madcap antics have made them the underdogs. But, on paper, they should be one of the favourites.
#1 North Korea
Kim Jong Il will have them executed if they don't win it. The threat of death'll always make someone work harder. They'll put their body on the line in every match in the knowledge that every win extends their life a little more.
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote