The Deep End - Toy Soldier

[fenixx]

The soldier didn’t know why he was away from home anymore. The blood had stained the very essence of his soul, forever changing him into the altered state that he was in. The determination that filled his eyes had leaked over time, leaving regret to take its place. He was fighting for an idea that he wasn’t sure about anymore. Just a few years prior to this moment, he would have given his all for his country. He would have swung, shot and slashed at his country’s opposition, as what they preached was far from the truths that were evidently correct. He wore the medals he earned with pride, unabashed by his affiliation with a unit built around violence and destruction.


The soldier was at home amongst his platoon members with a sense of brotherhood being established, reinforcing the ‘us against them’ mentality that had been beaten into his mind.
His country always supported him. The stockpiles of ammo often astounded him, with the latest guns and grenades being plentiful. Even the C-rations weren’t that bad. It was as if his country read his mind and gave him what he needed. He could get a fresh pair of boots if his own became riddled with holes. He always had warm clothes to get him through the harsh nights. Love was a two way street between him and his country. It spurred the soldier to fight that little bit harder to support that love. The fighting was simple to the soldier. He had been trained to shoot to kill, and with the limitless supply of bullets, his role in warfare was made simple. His weapons were superior to the face that framed his target. The only war wounds the soldier had was when he tripped over his own feet.


War certainly wasn’t a holiday, nor was it one-sided. The soldier saw his friends slowly depart in aluminium tubes, while others boarded planes in wheelchairs. He couldn’t pretend like the violence didn’t affect him. It sometimes made him question his own involvement in a war that he didn’t have to fight. He loved his country, but was this mental toll worth what he put himself through each day? More often than not, he’d find himself pondering the fact by a crackling fire in a valley some million miles from home. It never slowed his trigger finger, but it made him wonder why he shooting had just become normal to him.


One day, two of his closest friends were murdered mere metres from where he stood. It was almost as if the bullets struck in slow motion. The metallic streaks pierced the air and shrilly whistled their way through the vests we believed were bulletproof. The triple tap of gunfire travelled vertically, first piercing their hearts, followed by their throats and concluding with their foreheads. He clutched them both, disregarding the bullets that soared above he, but it was pointless. He was left to fight the war alone, forcing himself to believe that victory would somehow bring them back by his side.


He fought with a newfound vengeance for the first few days, but this aggression fizzled and failed. He couldn’t help but feel fearful about his own life. He couldn’t shake the feeling that it could be him that would the next casualty. He started to care more about his own safety than his country’s. Morale was low amongst the troops with many beginning to question why they weren’t home. They began to use their ammo sparingly so that their positions were not given away. Bullets were fired with careful consideration when they were previously just aimed. At the culmination of each day, less and less men returned with the soldier. There were too many beds left in the barracks which tore at the soldier.


For some reason, the soldier kept fighting against the tide. His weapons were now outdated and it seemed as if the enemy had a limitless supply of bullets that they were peppered with each day. The food was bland and made him miss the homecooked meals that he had with his family. It was almost as if his country had begun to let him down. Soldiers were being killed each day because of the shortcomings and lack of respect for the soldiers that gave their lives for their country. The soldier did have some good days were he thought he had regained ground against the enemy, but his country continuously forced him to relinquish any progress that had been made.


Soldiers who previously blindly followed his country’s orders began to openly question why they were made to commit certain acts. They were forced to slowly pay for items that were previously free. The costs of fighting began to mount with each month and soon the soldiers were forced to pay for the rations that were previously provided. The soldier sat back and watched his comrades openly question the orders of their superiors, disregarding the respect that previously existed. War had grown old and changed everyone. Their faces had wrinkled from all of the frowning, their cheeks were permanently stained from the tears they silently shed.


It got to the point where the soldier was ready to leave the war behind. He was even ready to leave his country behind after all of the stress it placed on his mind. It was as if he had a constant headache that intensified with every step in this godforsaken land. He could fight to defend a country that wouldn’t defend him, it seemed incredibly unreasonable. The armed forces only occupied a small fragment of the land that they previously controlled without question. Perhaps that square would be held forever by those who still had the will to fight onwards for a hollow truth. Perhaps that small square would fall tomorrow or next week or next month. The country that once was the soldier’s world was not worth his life anymore. He would turn and walk away without a second glance at the rubble and ruin he left behind. Now all that was left for the soldier was to find something else to believe in.


Writer's Note - This is quite rough, I can't write as often as I'd like to any more because of school. I wrote this in an hour that I had to spare at school. This probably isn't farewell forever, but it will be for a while. I have one little project that I'll be posting here in the next week or so, but following that, I will probably be away for a few months. It does suck that I can't write when these forums are at a crazy high standard, but I can't wait to see how far this current batch progresses in a few months. Bye bye for now, Columns Forum!

[da_shee]

Sorry to see you'll be leaving us Fenixx, don't go for too long.

This was deep, well written but I if I'm being honest I can't really decipher what it means. Maybe thats your goal here? To leave the reader interpret this as he may?

The obvious interpretation is that your speaking of a wrestler and drawing comparisons between said wrestler's career and that of a soldier. Then you speak of vengeance which I view as a little more sinister. Yes, there have been sinister wrestlers behind the scenes in the business but I'm sure that's a minority group. Basically I feel like the column jumped from being "general" to "specific" at this point and I'm having trouble tying the two together. Unless of course you had a particular wrestler in mind?

But it got me pondering and I see myself thinking of a few different wrestlers that fit into what you say. So from that point of view you did well.

Catch ya soon dude!

[Current Big Thing]

i tend to dig these metaphoric pieces, as I often find myself trying to determine who the piece is referencing. I couldn't place a specific guy here, but I didn't care. You told a nice little story of disillusionment here, and you had me from start to finish. Selfishly, i hope you can drop back in here before too too long, but your education must come first. It was no accident that you lasted as long as you did in NXT.



CBT

[fenixx]

da_shee - I did want to leave it open to interpretation but it was more about my feelings about the product. The soldiers are the ones who defend their country (the WWE) each day. I guess things have gotten better in terms of the standard of the product, but it's almost as if the WWE is letting down the soldiers who defended them from day one in order to cater for a different audience. I'm not one to complain and tell the WWE how to run their business, it's just how I feel about things right now. I'm sure every wrestling fan has this moment where he/she ponders whether or not they can just walk away from the product that they've continuously defended for however long they've been a fan. I'm only disappearing for a few months, I'll still pop by every so often to give feedback where I can, I actually regret not being able to feedback as much as I used to, but yeah, won't be long before I'm posting regularly again. I do have one more mini-series I want to post, but after that I'm gone. Cheers for the feed, glad that I made you think. :)

CBT - Haha, thanks for the kind words. I thought that people would see the point I was trying to make quite clearly but I guess I was too vague. I'm still happy that I kept you reading though! Thanks for the feed, and I will be back soon. Can't wait to see how far you progress when I get back either, man. :)

[Morpheus]

It always sucks to say goodbye, but we'll be waiting for you when you get back. I've enjoyed seeing you develop here, and I have enjoyed your writing. I look forward to seeing more when you get the time. I understand real life getting in the way sometimes, so tend to that first. Just drop in and say hi when you can.

MMCI

[priest]

Now I've posted my column and people know we are collaborating on a two part series, I'll leave you my feedback now. This is why I found it somewhat daunting collabing with you. I don't get how you haven't won COTM yet. I guess it shows just how strong this site actually is.

You know how much I enjoy your work. I probably enjoy yours more than I do anybody else. I don't know how to describe your style other than addictive. I hope you get the chance to write whilst you're doing your education.